Cycling In 2012 Board (formerly Fall/Winter 2011-2012)

[WeHaveHope]

I hope everyone finds comfort, peace, and strength in this week's quotes.



"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment".-Buddha

"Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday".-Author Unknown

"Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without".-Buddha

"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy".-Leo Buscaglia

"Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day".-Author Unknown

"We must try not to sink beneath our anguish... but battle on".-J.K. Rowling

[WeHaveHope]

I want to let everyone know that effective Monday, January 9th the board will be renamed. The new name will be "Cycling in 2012 (formerly Fall/Winter Board 2011-2012)". This is being done in order to accommodate for all of our friends who will be cycling during different times in 2012.

[Sunshine1576]

We, Thank you for renaming the board, we have so many here that will be cycling all throughout the year, I'll probably be one of them!

Lydia, I really wish parents would discipline their kids when this happens, I don't care what culture they are from it's still inhumane! I know it's hard, but try to put your mind at ease and I totally agree with Ninde, it's time you do something nice for yourself and enjoy this pregnancy, you deserve that!

AFM: more personals to come...Today at work, one of our customers brought in some oranges from her backyard which was sweet and thoughtful, it made my day! I interviewed with her bank last year for a teller position and turned it down for something part-time. I told her I needed fertiltiy appointments and so I took the job I have now. Told her if something part-time did come along to call me...It's always good to have networking possibilities, but now she is one of my favorite customers. I could easily take a second job, but in the Spring it would make the doctor appointments somewhat challenging.

[Lauren]

Bodie...........HI I am in NJ too I found your information very interesting to me! My DH and I have done 3 IVF cycles with all BFN! We have Male Factor but also I am a LOW responder...I didnt respond like they thought I would for my age at the time. Our embryos have always been of low quality.....I wonder WHY they have yet to try a different protocol with us like the MICROFLARE and why they didnt do what your RE did and test them! I am frustrated...feeling like maybe there have been options out there for me and they just over looked them I am so glad I foulnd your info and I may check out your RE...I would have to travel a little but buut it will BE ALL WORTH IT!!

Any more input please LMK...CONGRATS on the twins too

[Lauren]

Bodie...........HI I am in NJ too I found your information very interesting to me! My DH and I have done 3 IVF cycles with all BFN! We have Male Factor but also I am a LOW responder...I didnt respond like they thought I would for my age at the time. Our embryos have always been of low quality.....I wonder WHY they have yet to try a different protocol with us like the MICROFLARE and why they didnt do what your RE did and test them! I am frustrated...feeling like maybe there have been options out there for me and they just over looked them I am so glad I foulnd your info and I may check out your RE...I would have to travel a little but buut it will BE ALL WORTH IT!!

Any more input please LMK...CONGRATS on the twins too

[LYD10]

Thank you, Sunshine!

[Sunshine1576]

Tomorrow, going to call and check with RE to see what dosage of COQ10 he might recommend..Dh mentioned I should go to WebMD and read up on it and learned it's useful with improving sperm as it helps in new cell development. I also read that anyone taking blood thinners and thyroid medications should check with their doctors before using CoQ10 supplements. Besides tomorrow I'm needing to call the clinic since today marks day3 and they may let me come on in for bloodwork. Most of trying to stay busy as we wait for May to get here. Just praying we get approved for the loan/program so everything will fall right into place and eventually it will- if this is meant to be.

[leorira11]

Kerri - SHIT. That is so awful. I'm so sorry. I hope your RE has answers for you. I understand what you say when you say it's better to know now that none of the embryos were viable, instead of transferring and waiting 2 weeks to find out - but it's still devastating to have nothing to transfer. I think that's everyone's worst nightmare.

Ilene (bodie) - 16 weeks is fantastic! Feels like it's flying by (although probably not for you!). I'm glad you are feeling better and more energetic.

Christy - I totally understand how the Attain program is a gamble. If this works on the first time (which I hope it does for you!), then it wasn't worth the extra money. But I agree that I would rather have the back-up than go into this without a net.

Lydia - I sure understand why you are so worried, but try to relax. Remember, that even if something's wrong (and it probably isn't!) that there isn't anything that anyone can do. Not sure how you feel about the serenity prayer ("God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference."), but I try to focus on that a lot while pregnant or otherwise worried.

Patricia - I've never made baked Alaska (not even sure exactly what it is, but I'll 'google' now!) but I'm impressed! Trampolining? That sounds awesomely fun! --- thanks for your message. Sometimes it's hard to log on here -- everyone else seems to be moving forward and I'm stuck. I do see a counselor (I have for years, I suffer from chronic severe depression (which has been controlled with meds for about 5 years) and we see a couple's counselor (not on a regular basis, but whenever we feel we need her).)

Nicole - I'm impressed with the working out -- I need to get my butt in gear! I've been so sedentary for so long (bed rest while pregnant with the twins, recovering from the C-section, pregnant again...) that even a single flight of stairs winds me. I work on the 3 floor of a building without an elevator and I dread running an errand down to the first floor! How is your FET doing? You should be getting close, no?

Maria - those sticks look awesome! You are definitely preggo - but if you're like me (and it seems you are with the POAS since 3dpt!) you'll keep going until beta--- which is TODAY! Good luck!

Anna - I love the new pictures of Paul - he is so cute!

I know a lot of people have been talking about the Co10q supplements. We've never had egg quality problems (as far as we know) and DH's problem is quantity, not quality (he has great 'guys', just not enough of them) -- anyone think that we would benefit from supplements like that? I've asked our RE about supplements and he said that since DH's sperm count is so very low (usually in the dozens instead of the normal millions) that even if a supplement increased his sperm count by 10x, it still wouldn't help and we'd need IVF/ICSI, so why waste our money on supplements. But I've never asked about for me. Our RE seems very skeptical of supplements, but I wonder if they would help.

AFM - well... today sucks. I started bleeding. In a way, that's a good thing, because I am right on schedule with the Provera (stopped 5 days ago and got AF today - which is totally normal for me). If I hadn't gotten AF today, I would have worried more. But it's freaking depressing to be bleeding again and know that it's probably useless. I'll go for a blood test/ultrasound on Wednesday and we'll see. We probably won't know much then (I'll need 2 or more blood tests consecutively to see if it's going down or still up).

Our run of HMS Pinafore is over - which is nice because I'll have a ton of more free time (SLEEEEEEPPPPP....) but sad because I love doing it. Auditions for the next show are this week - "My Fair Lady". I'm not so excited (no chance of getting the lead because of company "politics"/drama and I don't really love the music/staging). I was hoping to miss this one (by being on bed rest, the way I missed "Carousel" last year), but nope.

[LYD10]

Hi Leora, thank you for the serenity prayer. Those are very wise words. You are right, if something is wrong, there is nothing that can be done, so I might as well let go. I am glad your bleeding is on schedule.i hope it does the trick and your numbers on Wednesday will be much lower!!

AFM, I am glad I had my emotional breakdown today. I think I emotionally prepared myself for the possibility of bad u/s. And hopefully now I can just move on and get thru the rest of the week in peace. I think I visualized my reaction if the u/s is not good and dealt with it thru crying. So, I think it will help to cope with the actual situation if necessary. My DH is going with me on Friday. The u/s is not till 3:30. It was the only available slot. But in a way it's good that it's at the end of the day and we can just go home after that. The only unfortunate thing is, in our offices, techs do the u/s then you have to go back out to the wait room and wait for the doc to call you in. I would hate to break down in the wait room. But last time my doc anticipated me and he intercepted me and put me straight into his office.

Ninde - I meant to say this earlier, but kept forgetting to type this - I have so much admiration for what you do. How do you do it? How do you not let it bring you down. These days I can't even watch a movie that is not a comedy. I don't know how you are able to lead the suicidal groups.

[leorira11]

I have a friend -- she used to be my best friend - talking on the phone everyday, hanging out several times a week, same favorite books/movies, lots of fun.

They started trying to have a baby the same time as our first IVF. When I got pregnant with twins and she didn't get pregnant the first month they tried, she kept complaining that I was "rubbing it in her face" that I was pregnant and she wasn't (after we had been trying more than a year and did IVF!). Anyway - her husband was diagnosed with a benign tumor on his pituitary gland. He had surgery to remove it, but he'll need to take artificial hormones the rest of his life. His sperm count is greatly affected if he doesn't take his hormones, but fine if he does.

She started comparing our lives all the time -- I bit my tongue but wanted to yell all the time "IF YOUR HUSBAND TAKES HIS MEDS, YOU CAN GET PREGNANT WITH NO PROBLEM". He just didn't take his meds.

She got pregnant right around when we lost our first set of twins. She lost the baby at 7 weeks. She didn't even tell me she was pregnant. Instead, she wrote me an email saying that people were asking her to tell me to STOP talking about losing my twins (because it made them uncomfortable - WTF?!) and that she had a miscarriage and never said anything, so I should stop talking about my loss. WTF?!

Anyway -- she's been playing the "we have it just as hard as you" card for a while now, which pisses me off. Her husband didn't take his meds, so she couldn't get pregnant! I asked if she was tracking her ovulation and making sure the BD the right days and she said "no, that's a little too much for me, we'll just let it happen" (!) She never wanted to share about her TTC (I know she moved to IUIs for their "unexplained" infertility, which was just her husband forgetting to take his meds regularly), so I stopped sharing about my IVFs.

Once she called immediately after the nurse had called with BFN news -- I was clearly upset and she asked why. I told her we had found out our IVF cycle was negative. She said "oh, now you know how I feel every month when I'm not pregnant". WTF? We did try for 6 months "on our own" so I do know how that feels - and how can she not realize that an IVF cycle is different than a month of trying????

She called me in May (when I was alraedy on bed rest with the boys) to ask my advice -- she was doing a Clomid IUI cycle (her 3rd) and there were 4 follicles. Her doctors canceled her IUI and told her not to have unprotected sex because of the high risk of multiples. She asked what I would do. I told her that it was really upsetting and frustrating, but I wouldn't risk triplets or more. In the end, she went against advice and had unprotected sex and got pregnant.

I didn't know she was pregnant too - so I never mentioned my pregnancy in front of her. She kept bringing it up, and I would answer her questions. But I never understood why and she never said.

She told me when she was 13 weeks pregnant AT THE HOSPITAL RIGHT AFTER MY BOYS WERE BORN. Ugh. What awful timing.

Even after we lost the boys, she kept asking me all kinds of questions (where is a good place to buy baby stuff? What does she need to buy? When to do the glucose test? etc -- things she could have asked a million of our friends who have babies). She also kept saying how nervous she was because she knew me (and my losses) and another mutual friend (who had a full term stillbirth) and she was terrified of losing this baby, even though we all reassured her that the odds were strongly in her favor. (I hate that, by the way. Why do people tell me that my story makes them feel nervous when they are pregnant? Sheesh -- as if I need the guilt, and also - they have NO idea how *I* feel when pregnant!)

She kept saying again and again how jealous she is of the vacation we are planning for Februrary. I bite my tongue and don't say how jealous I am that she is having a baby instead.

ANYWAY--

She just called me. Her baby boy was born this morning after a quick 6 hour labor.

I'm going to visit in the hospital after work.

<sigh>

okay -- thanks for letting me vent.

[Gina1976]

Leora- Wow! How horrible of a friend she is! You are truly wonderful for going to see her after the things she has said!

[WeHaveHope]

Leorai agree with Gina. Not only are you a wonderful person all around but your truly a great friend. I'm so sorry that your friend has nit been able to be the kind of friend you deserve. Sending you a big hug.

[Kerri_789]

We, I like the quotes of the week. Have a nice week!

Sunshine, your story is very inspiring. I think I will also take a partime job to accommodate fertility appointments. It is probably better than sitting at home all day and feel sorry for myself.

Lauren, I can totally relate to your feelings. Out of frustrations, I started seeking a new clinic after the 3rd negative IVF. I eventually made a switch for my 5th IVF. Although the outcome is still negative but the process was good; at least, I felt new hopes and felt that I am trying something rather than waiting for miracle.

Leorira, even though the nurse had prepared me for bad news in her first sentence of our conversation, I was still shocked by the fact that no embryos survived for the transfer. I started thinking all my effort spent during this period all in vain and start wondering whether my time was due. However, tomorrow will be a better day, isn’t it?
I hate to visit someone in the hospital for giving birth. Sometimes, the others happiness is my painful spot. I don't want to behave strangely but it is strange for me to be happy for the others and to feel sad at the same time.

Bodie, thank you very much for sharing your story. It is very inspiring. I was surprise that the RE put you a 5 day transfer for your first IVF and (s)he drew the conclusion of poor egg quality so quickly. I don’t know what my new RE would do but my old RE seems more conservative in this aspect. He somehow believed that it is a pure odds game. It is pity that I cannot be in NJ because I live in Belgium but I will discuss your story when I meet my RE next time.
I took Q10 and acupuncture sessions for this IVF, too but they did not really show the effect. Could you share more about the acupuncture sessions you did? Typically, my acupuncturist recommends tracking the basal temperature for a month. She will then apply acupuncture weekly for 3 months based on the outcome of the BTT and then special acupuncture sessions for the IVF cycle.
Lyd, I agree with other ladies; you need to sit back and enjoy the pregnancy.

[Ninde]

Just wanted to drop a quick post to Leora (and Maria - thanks for changing the board name - I wondered if I would have to go into a new named board and our old stuff wouldn't be here - but no, you miraculously worked it!)

Leora: Hmmm, I'm going to be diplomatic- - is that lady really your friend? How can anyone claim to be a friend and then email you asking you to stop talking about your loss because its making others uncomfortable and then add insult to injury by saying she didn't discuss her miscarriage?

I know we all do things differently and we all have our own level of whats ok for us - but your friend sounds like she has awful issues and somehow feels she can use you as a punching bag (the comment about you 'rubbing your pregnancy' in her face refers!). I wouldn't dream of telling you what to do but I do hope you can protect yourself around her, this is a very vulnerable time for you and without being derogatory, this woman does not sound like she can look beyond herself.

I'm sending you Arch Angel Michael to be with you today at the hospital - and God help anyone who gets in Michael's path

Lyd: Thank you for your very generous comments. Sometimes it is very hard to see people who are in that much pain that they only way they can see of it ending is to no longer be alive. They are the tough times. And thankfully there are the days with those people when they can see that the feelings pass, they might not feel fantastic, but they don't feel as bad as they did - and those are the days that make it all worthwhile. I hope today is a day when it isn't so tough for you - and I know that all the wishes in the world can't guarantee that - but I wish that for you.

Ninde

[WeHaveHope]

Beta and progesterone levels have been drawn. I won't hear back from them until about 3pm EST. I took my last HPT this morning.