Cycling In 2012 Board (formerly Fall/Winter 2011-2012)

[WeHaveHope]

Tuffy-congratulations!!! Very exciting. Fo you know if the are fraternal twins or identical?

[anton]

Hello everyone!

Alwaysangel-
I am sorry honey… don’t give up just yet! Miracles do happen everyday! And I am going to pray for you that you get your miracle this time!….and yes, this isn’t fair for any of us. To be honest, I told my self many times that maybe having 7 failed IVF’s God wants to tell me something! And Ithen I say to my self, either I am in denial or I believe in miracles! I choose miracles! …hang in there! ((HUGS))



Ninde-
Hi there! …well, is not that I am fat that I am doing what I am doing, is so that with the pace I am going I don’t end up fat! Before IVF I used to be a “hot chick” and had a beach body that not even 20yr old don’t have ….but while getting into the hormones and stims and meds in general, I end up with hypothyroidism Hypothyroidism “helps” to gain weight and maintain weight due to ridiculously slow metabolism. I ended up fucking my body! And now here I am trying to get fit and have a healthy figure. I know that anyway after the age of 35 it is way much difficult to work on your body and I said my goodbyes to 37 last June so I feel like I am running against time here….to get fit, be healthy, start my 8th IVF, make a baby, find a job, watch everyone around me having their babies while I am stuck at the bus stop .. etc etc. Right now, the only thing I can have a say in, is my body, so I though why not giving my self into it until I start my new cycle? And here I am now. Not fat, not slim, just trying to be fit and healthy. Exactly how I should be before a get pregnant and look like a whale! Actually I am looking forward to that baby fat like crazy!



Blueyedreamer-
Woohoo!! 6 more days and your baby/babies are coming home!!! How many are you transferring?


Waitingkay-
Even though the word “thinking” has a new meaning to me …I think all the time the what if’s and its making things worse! ...when it comes to bedtime, I am more like your DH, the minute my head hits the pillow, Zzzzzz the only time i find it difficult to sleep is when I am doing IVF. Especially after the ET the sleep like a baby stops and vivid dreams and insomnia begins!


Tuffy-
Congratulations!!! Ouao! Twin boy’s sounds wonderful! Keep up the good work mama! So it’s going to be 2 of each flavour in your house! How exciting!!!! I am so happy for you!!


Leora-
How was it today?


AFM- nothing exciting going on here... I woke up this morning to the voice of the P90X guy on the TV downstairs and my DH speaking loud his exercises …he did it on purpose of course just to piss me off …so I rush into my track suit and head downstairs, laid down my exercising mat next to his and started working out with him. He did half of it and rush into the shower to go to work and I finished it, had egg whites and a yogurt banana smoothie and started my day. it felt pretty amazing! I then took my car for M.O.T did some grocery shopping, went to check on a color I want to paint a particular wall inside the house, went to a few shops to look for a sink that I am thinking of changing at the guest toilet (the hydraulics are dead! and I am the handy man of the house )

...then I came home to make baked white beans with tomato sauce, carrots, celery, parsley, onions and one potato, two maggi’s and two shots of olive oil. All that in the automatic casserole for 5min and you get yourself a yummy yummy dish! I had a bowl for lunch and we are having it for dinner when DH gets home. My mom likes that dish and so I called her for lunch at her break. It was nice seeing her.

Plan tonight is to have dinner, watch THE GOOD WIFE latest episode I have downloaded this morning and then watch our soccer team Arsenal playing at the Premier League.

I saw a couple of new Marketing positions in the Career newspaper today so I am going to prepare some cover letters to send with my CV first thing in the morning.

And that’s my day ladies…I am sure its boring compared to your day at work but this is the life of an unemployed person ..God! I miss working my bud off at the office! yeap, I am officialy nuts!

Baby dust and sticky vibes to us all!!

anton

[Sunshine1576]

Tuffy,
This is exciting! Twin boys oh you're going to have your hands full as they grow up, but in a good way! I see competition in little league games, and many sporting events with dad. I see ripped up jeans and patchwork, I see this bringing you even closer to dh. I better stop before I get emotional, but I wanted to tell you enjoy every moment!

WaitingKay,
I love your PMA, yes it's all about picking up the pieces and starting again to make something happen. Sometimes it not about what happens, but how we react back to it. One of our previous cycle buddies once wrote, "Never give up on anything you cannot go a single day without thinking about."

Leora,
Do feel us in when you get back from the appointment. How are you liking the new job, better fit?

AFM: I need to walk my dogs before the rain comes, but I keep starting to post and then not post about my cycle being late. I'm not understanding why I'm late if I tested negative on Tuesday but I'll try to give it until Friday (1 full week) before I call my doctor.

[Waitingkay]

Tuffy - congrats on having boys! Should be fun...active fun!

Sunshine - thanks, I hope you remember complementing me for PMA when I'll vent...and vent some more, he he you'll see.

In the meantime here's a picture for us to love:)

Kay

[leorira11]

Lori - I'm so sorry. Have you spoken to a repeat pregnancy loss specialist? 4 miscarriages definitely qualifies you. I'm so sorry.

Antonia - there is actually a difference between a diagnostic hysteroscopy and a surgical hysteroscopy. I've had a diagnostic one before, and that's what they are recommending again now. A diagnostic hysteroscopy is done in the clinic - no anesthesia - and is just mildly uncomfortable (like a 30 min long PAP smear...) Hopefully I'll avoid surgery... --- not getting answers back is the MOST annoying part of job searching! I know that not every place that gets my CV needs to call me (I send my CV to EVERYONE!) - but when I make the time and effort to come and interview - it's basic manners to let me know afterwards that I didn't get the job. I know a phone call can be awkward -- but you have my friggin email address on my CV! Just send a quick email. UGH. Sorry!

You and Patricia and Nicole working out has inspired me - a friend and I went to a Zumba class last night - and we swore we'd start going every week. We are going to push each other to make sure we stick with it. We are both soooo sore today, but it's great!

Patricia - One thing I love about my job - no way to take it home! If I *wanted* to work nights or weekends, I couldn't - hurray!

Christy - I'm exhausted but haven't done anything physical today -- sometimes the emotional stuff makes you physically tired. AF is so late? Is your period usually really regular? How annoying! It's pouring rain here, which means our dog is feeling cooped up! We need indoor dog parks I think that he thinks that WE make it rain to punish him

Nicole - HURRAY! You are starting your progesterone tomorrow! Woohoo! How many embryos do you have frozen?

Kay- I truly can not understand a reason all this crap is happening to me - or any of us. I'm so jealous of people who can keep a strong faith in God. I grew up an orthodox Jew and I'm very quickly losing my faith. I still believe there is a God, but I just can't understand. We've pretty much stopped practicing (we used to be very observant - Shabbat, Kosher, etc) because we are so angry with God.

Did you ever see the movie DOGMA? (if not, I highly recommend) She has an abortion that gets botched and she can never have kids - her husband leaves her because he wants biological kids.

Bethany: I remember the exact moment. I was on the phone with my mother, and she was trying to council me through this...thing, and nothing she was saying was making me feel any better. and she said......"Bethany....God has a plan." I was...I was so angry with her. I was, like...what about my plans, ya know? I had planned to have a family...with my husband...wasn't that plan good enough for God? (long pause) Apparently not. I hate thoughts like that, but y'know, they come to you with age. When you're a kid, you never question the whole faith thing. Nope. God's in heaven, and he's...she's...always got her eye on you. I would give anything to feel that way again.

I really love this monologue -- I really relate. I would KILL to have some faith that everything is for a reason, or that my babies know I love them and miss them -- but I don't.

How did your RE appt go?

AFM - both appts today went well.

The RPL specialist said he basically had nothing new to tell us. Because I've had live birth, m/c, live birth, m/c - there is no reason to connect the two miscarriages - both just bad luck. The two pre-term deliveries are the bigger concern, as usual. He suggested bedrest, a cerclage (stitch in cervix) and P17 injections (to help prevent PTL). Nothing new. But at least he was a decent guy. He said "no twins again!" and suggested SET. I told him that DUH we know that - but we did SETs for a year after losing our first set of twins and had 3 BFNs and a miscarriage. Then we did the double transfer - twins again! UGH. He suggested another year of SETs - and if nothing, then talk about it again.

I told David that I'm okay with doing SETs -- until we are down to our last 2 frosties. If we have only 2 frozen embryos - we are transferring both -- first of all, I have much worse luck with FETs and the last two frosties are likely our lowest quality embryos - and secondly because my biggest fear during this last FET was getting to transfer day with nothing to transfer. I hate having a single frozen embryo. He said "okay" for now...

The new IVF clinic was fine. They scheduled me for "guidance" from the nurse - but I quickly explained that I know the process and how to self-inject We filled in some paperwork - next time we'll be there is the ER!

I went to the health-care-system clinic next, to file some paperwork with them. They said that I *CAN'T* do what I've been planning (SnS at local public clinic -- close to work, open early, short lines -- but ER/ET at the private hospital). UUUGGGHHHH.... Now I have to figure this out!

I'm going for an 'extra' beta tomorrow (ie, one my current IVF clinic doesn't know I'm doing). We'll see....

The damned PRL doctor looked at my chart of my betas from this cycle (yes, I've discovered that it's easiest to keep an Excel spreadsheet and plot the numbers on a graph - makes it much easier to explain to the million doctors/nurses I've met with) and said that maybe this sac is a healthy baby that's implanted late. I said "14 weeks late?" and he said "well, maybe a miraculous conception" and I said "and we see a sac when my beta is 79?" UGH. He said "unlikely, but don't assume it's over". WTF???


-- for those who asked - the new job is working out great! A little less money, but I like the work so much more! Pretty simple, but keeping me busy and not bored!

[leorira11]

actually - talking about it made me pretty proud of my graph - so I thought I'd share.... What do you think? Am I too obsessed with this stuff? (Actually, the doctors/nurses are always so impressed at how organized and well researched I am!)

[leorira11]

ppps - we watched "Girl with a Dragon Tattoo" and it was GREAT! I tried reading the books, but didn't like how they were written (ie, the translation from Swedish), but we loved the movie!

[Sunshine1576]

Leora,
I know I'm stating the obvious, but this doctor is going against everything we know about betas, and finding a heart beat at around 18 days after conception, and you mentioned it been 14 weeks now since the last cycle, I just don't understand his logic? Your graph does make everything so organized and you probably keep those doctors on their toes. Did you decide on Laproscopy, hopefully the beta tomorrow will help answer that! I'm glad to hear you are adjusting well to your new job. Hopefully the clinic appts won't become a nuisance, our healthcare plan isn't always accomodating either.

Speaking of cycles, for me it's 28 days apart unless of course I'm stimming for a cycle, but that's been since last October. I've been taking the same dose of Levothyroxine since August, maybe my levels are too low? Hopefully by Friday we'll know more...but I feel so bloated and sluggish right now. Today I've done only three things: showered, walked my furbabies and stuffed my face with peanut butter toast...I need to clean house and get the taxes done but I absolutely just want to sleep. Maybe emotions do drain us, but I also need to be eatting healthier. Hey here's an idea...lets contribute to a fertility cookbook for a promising lifestyle to eatting better?

[akdelp]

On phone and just need to vent...no call from the clinic, just a sentence in the letter that came with our thaw consent .....must repeat thyroid resting....ugh. sure wish they would get their head out of their asses. Sick of them and they are supposed to be "leading" the field. Have anger issues with them....ugh. I had to call them to get an order faxed to the lab.....damned them. Will let u know....

[Gina1976]

Hope everyone is doing well! It is SO COLD here! 21 is our high today and the wind is terrible. Our low will be 3 brrrrr.

So we went to Dh's retirement briefing and we are a little bummed. You can't leave early and finish our tour stateside, well if you do it's only 3 days. So it does no good. So if we want to use one of the hospitals we can, Walter Reed, it will have to be next year in Jan/Feb. Not too much after their Oct cycle but enough!! It will be okay though! So now we just want to retire and pray it's approved!! He turns it in next week!!

[Ninde]

Evening ladies

Maria: how are you?

Kay: im glad you have both a pma side and a venting side did youngest any sleep?

Always angel: how are you doing?

Tuffy: that's wonderful news!! How is your pregnancy going?

Anton: I've seen your facebook pictures - you have an amazing figure!! The good wife is brilliant isnt it?

Christy: do you think you could be pregnant? Oh that would be amazing!!love the idea of the book

Leora: are you trying to make me jealous about work?! Seriously, the re said it could be latenimplantation? Really? I read the three dragon books and loved them. I hated the swedish version of the film though, it left so much out but I enjoyed the american version

Adkelp: oh for goodness sake, thats appalling. Did you manage to phone the clinic?

Gina: im sorry to hear about your dh's retirement. I hope you get everything sorted.

Afm: im glad this week is done. Met my new co-facilitator for the group of suicide people I work with. I normally get on with most people. But all my instincts tell me not to trust this woman. She needs to dominate which is just not my thing. And on thenupsideni lost another 2lbs

Ninde

[Alwaysangel]

Beta still 22 so this cycle is a wrap!! Bw on monday to see if beta is dropping

[Ninde]

Always: im so sorry. I know there are no words that can offer consolation at the moment, how could there be, your heart is broken. This is such an arduous journey and even more so for you with your losses along the way. I wish you friends and loved ones around you who can support you and your dh at this time, strength and courage to help you through the difficult moments and gentleness and compassion x

Ninde

[blueeyedreamer]

I'm keeping this short for now. I don't feel too well. But, I am happy that I got new running shoes today!

Leora- We have one embryo left. Transfer will be at 3pm PST on Tue Feb 7. I will have to take two days from working out and then scale the intensity back, but my dr said I can keep working out. She has been very supportive.

Does anyone know much about calorie intake? Right now I take in between 1200-1300 calories, 120 grams of protein. I will keep the protein up but don't know if I need to increase the calorie intake after transfer. I think that range is acceptable and it is not resulting in a rapid weight loss by all means. I lost 2.5 pounds in two weeks but lost 3% body fat. So in reality, I lost 4 pounds of fat and put on 1.5 pounds of muscle. I feel really good about my workouts. I work hard and sometimes I'm sore, but I have improved dramatically and have certainly gained confidence.

Always- Again, I'm so sorry.

I'll check in later. Take care.

[Sunshine1576]

Don't you just love it when you have a nice personal all typed up and you hit send only to see the page vanish in mid air?
I wasn't on here that long, but oh well personals will be retyped tomorrow except for one that couldn't wait...
AlwaysAngel- I know it won't take away the pain and heartache, but we are here when you need someone to talk to. x