Reading your post was like stepping back in time a few years ago when we were going through the same things. We must be married to the same man . (just kidding) But seriously, we have MF also. Went through four fresh attmepts with two miscarriages and two negatives, before deciding that we could not keep on with the same game plan. When I and the Dr brought up the fact that donor sperm would be perfect for us (I had no issues), my DH was completely against it. He just could not come to terms with the idea that another "man" would have gotten me pregnant. And he was also grieving the loss of the fact that we would never have a bio child. I know it sounds a little crazy, but these were very real feelings for him and I felt like I had to respect them.
I had no idea what we would do next....try to afford adoption (after thousands spent on IVF), give up, etc????? One day I came across the topic of donor embryos on one of these forums. Until that day I had never even heard of them. (RE never mentioned it either) I went home and brought up the idea to DH (expecting complete rejection) and to my suprise he thought it was a great idea!! WTF???? How are donor embryos ok, but donor sperm is not???? I don't know the answer to that question but for whatever reason it was. I never looked back, within a couple months we had 8 great quality embryos shipped to our clinic, within the year we had our miracle littl boy!!!! He is our child and I would not love a bio child any more than I love him. If anything, he feels extra special, because of the way he was brought into this world. I know donor embryos are not right for everyone, I just thought I would share our experience considering it was sooo similar to what you are going through.
If you decide to consider the option, I know a lot about the process, and would be glad to share with you. By the way, we did not spend anything on our donor embryos (well $100 to sign up with Miracles Waiting - a site where potential donors find recipients), but that was it. Just the cost of an FET. If you use an organization like snowflakes, they consider it "adoption" instead of donation and charge thousands of dollars.
As for the looks, me and my sister look nothing alike (100% bio). As for my little boy, he really doesn't look like either of us, but you would be suprised how many people think he "has my nose, my hubbies eyes, etc". People see what they want to see:). Good luck to you and your husband. I hope I have not said anything wrong, just thought I would share my experience.
