Update: FET for Dummies =)

[to_have_fun08]

Supergenius -- Congrats on your BFP!!

[lou71]

Congrats Libby!

[claud662]

Franny...the words won't take away the sting and the hurt and I truly hope you get some answers. My heart breaks with you and we all want your dreams of having a baby to come true. Take some time but please don't give up on this dream. Love you.

[leorira11]

Franny- I'm so so so so sorry. I was really hoping this would be it for you. My heart skipped a beat when I read about your BFN. I hope we both get our babies, and soon. This rollercoaster is so crazy and unfair.

Libby - congrats! I'm stalking for your beta number. It's always hard when you get a BFP when your cycle buddy gets a BFN. That guilt is normal. I've been on both sides (getting the BFP when others get the BFN, and getting a BFN when others get a BFP) and it sucks. There is a ton of jealousy or guilt - and these are your friends, not just random pregnant women on the street (who I always hate ). Do I hate you a little bit for getting a BFP while I'm still waiting? a little bit, yes. But am I super duper thrilled that you got a BFP? A LOT, YES! So it's a weird mix of feelings. Thanks for being sensitive about it.

[Arabsrcool]

ahhh, Franny, I don't have the words. Sending you tons of cyber ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))).

Ronda

[Arabsrcool]

Libby,

Congrats! That is wonderful.

Ronda

[karin1]

Franny.....Omgosh.....my heart hurts for you. Sending you lots of love and ((((hugs)))).

[karin1]

Libby.....CONGRATS on your BFP! You are on your way!

[katie99]

Well I think that we all feel deflated today in light of last nights painful news. As excited as I am for Libby's POAS, my heart hurts for my Franny. Honey, no one here is going to let you give in and let this take over, ok? Please go for your f/u appt and hear what your RE has to say, alright? You know I was sooo ready to give up and be done with this by attempt #7, but something made me refuse to let infertility win, you have an awesome hubby to help you push through this and you've got to dig deep and find that "push". I know how bad it sucks, but dont give up honey. We're all here for you!
Much love to you my friend - xoxoxo

Libby - I've got fingers crossed for a nice high number later. Dont feel that you shouldnt post your good news, those moments of happiness are what keep the rest of us going. I'm sending you some patience vibes because waiting on the beta call always seems to make time stand still. Hurry up phone!! xoxo

[to_have_fun08]

Katie - what are you doing next? did you start meds yet? My little boy is great.. he has been sleeping 9/10 hrs at night which is awesome. I really can't complain about him at all. My DH was laid off but went back to work this week so it has been an adjustment with taking jake to babysistters everyday. think it has been harder on us then it has been on him.

After next AF, i get to start all my testing again.. not looking forward to going to my clinic again and getting back on the roller coaster ride but i guess he has to be done.

[Supergenius]

Katie, thank you for saying that. You've expressed the way I feel as well, but in much better words.

Leora, thank you as well. I know exactly what you mean about automatically 'hating' pregnant women. I am really hoping things are on the upswing for you now.

And thank you to all you very nice ladies for acknowledging my lil BFP.

Today's beta was 549 (10dp5dt). I am really hoping its one strong lil embie in there. Next beta is Monday.

[claud662]

Congrats Libby! Enjoy the weekend and can't wait for Monday!

[katie99]

Libby - Wow 549!!! Way to go mama!! That sure is one strong little embie you've got in there. Thats a high beta, mine with Ryan was 165 at 11dp5dt. Some pregnancys just have more hcg producing than ohters but I've got a feeling that with such a strong number that you'll be feeling nauseous early on. Were you like that with James? I'm so happy for you!! You stayed kind of quiet but I'm sure that the not quite 2ww still drove you nuts. I cant say that i'm looking forward to it myself. I'll bet you're glad its over, huh? So your second beta is on Monday, same day as my lining check, hoping that we both get more good news! It seems odd to me to have my only lining check a full 10 days before my FET, doesnt it? I know each clinic has their own ways, but we'll see what they say. You rest up this weekend soon to be mama of two!

Chris - Oh, you're lucky that Jake is such a good sleeper this early on! Ryan was pretty good too, but I was still wiped out most days. Ok, so after your next AF, you're set to get this ball rolling again? I'll be stalking you as always and praying that your little guy has a sibling coming soon. I'm getting there, I'm taking 2 estradiol injecctions per week and cant believe my FET is in 2 weeks! First it felt like it was taking forever to get moving and now its going so fast that I havent had time to process how scary this is - so thats a good thing especially for us old timers, right? I've got my FET on the 15th, and the second beta ( they wont tell me the first one ) isnt until the 27th. Good Lord, how do they think I'm going to get through a 12 day wait??? I need all the crossed fingers I can get because this is our one last chance. We decided that before we even found this clinic and we have to stop somewhere, you know? I mean IVF has had control of our lives since 2008 - whichever way this cycle goes, this is it. We've not had a vacation since we started because all money goes to ivf, house repairs have been put on hold, we're so drained from this that DH has been really clear that we need to move past this. Ugh, so easy to say, but so hard to feel, you know? Sorry to go on and on, but I KNOW you get it. Much love - xoxo

[Supergenius]

Thanks Claudia! I can't wait either.

Katie, thanks! Yes, it is a high beta which has me a bit nervous. My first beta for James was similar to yours with Ryan. And yes, the nausea is here but if I eat something I can keep it at bay. I got early nausea like this with James as well.
I have been quiet, just trying to keep myself distracted and not obsess over it. Luckily work has been busy and James got pink eye, then my MIL got her house robbed and oh, I've also been trying to coordinate my Mom's surprise b-day gift with my siblings (she has a milestone b-day this month).
I have my fingers crossed for your lining check! Maybe if the lining looks good, then no more appointments but if not, they would bring you back in? At least with a lining check there is nothing to wait for - you find out right then and there what's going on. I can definitely understand the need to step away from IVF and continue on with "normal life." I am very impressed that you and some of the other ladies have had the stamina to go this far. Hang in there! We'll be right here with you through it all to the end.

xoxo,
Libby

[turtle0619]

Libby Oh sweetie I am truly nothing but happy for you! I want my BFP so so badly I can't describe the longing in words, but that doesn't mean I think you deserve it any less. Please know that it's ok for you to be excited on here! So if you have twins with that high beta # I might just come on down to Baltimore and take one for myself! <insert crazy "this girl has lost her mind" laughter here>
Good luck on Monday! xoxo

afm I'm sorry, but I'm sooo tired and emotionally drained to do personals right now. I have to go to work in a little bit so I don't have the time right now. I had to stop and post this though because I didn't want my lack of posting to make anyone worry about me. I'm ok. Not great, but OK. Thursday night I raced home from work, and while I was at work I had left my phone in my car on purpose so I wouldn't be tempted to look. But was leaving my phone in my car good enough? Nope, I decided it MUST be turned off completely! So when I get out to my car, I try turning my phone on....NOTHING! WTF? I keep trying, my phone won't go on....so I drive home, and figure I'm just being dumb, and Barry will figure it out. I get home..we can't get my phone to come on still. We just look at each other like ummmm are you serious right now? The one time when I know there is a message on there that I need to get, and my phone won't work??
Then I remembered that this clinic posts everything online. So we went online, and I logged in, scrolled over, and saw the <0.5 next the the words BETA so my heart sunk. I just whispered to Barry..it's negative...and he asked how I knew...so I had to explain the number to him. We just sat in silence for a long time staring at the computer screen. It was a very surreal way to get the news.
Finally, we figured out we could switch the battery in my phone with Barrys, and it worked..so then we listened to the I'm sorry call. All it said was to stop all meds, and call us on CD1! Does that mean that they are just planning my next cycle without any kind of follow up? I don't know...I didn't have a chance to call them about it yesterday. So I will call them on Monday, and try to get some kind of answers. I don't really know if there is anything that can be changed in a FET, is there??
Anyway i have more to say, but I'm out of time. Thank you all for your love and support, and such kindness. It really is what pushes me on. I think you are all amazing!
Chris Your quote is wonderful! Thank you for writing it for me. As soon as I read it I burst into tears, but it touched me so deeply that it encouraged me to not give up!
Katie my sweet friend...your words mean so much to me. They also made me realize that I will not give up!!

I will always have hope, and although people may think I'm crazy or stupid for not just quitting so I "don't keep doing this to myself" and "just adopt" like it's that easy! There is the hope still inside me that one day it will be my time. I'm not saying I don't have my moments of feeling completely lost, and mad, and frustrated. Sometimes those moments last a day, a week, a month....this last one lasted a year and a half, but I will not allow myself to stay there for that long time time.
Barry and I changed our lives this year, and it has been nothing but wonderful. We are both so thankful for everything that we have right now, and we are mostly thankful to have each other! We can get through anything together, and we will always find the positive to focus on because that is what makes our love strong.

Thankd for listening to my rantings.
xoxoxo