Cycling In 2012 Board (formerly Fall/Winter 2011-2012)

[greekchick]

ok ladies Im full of questions at the mo and wondering if I should change doctors the doctor who ive had 3 failed ivfs is baffled why I'm not pregnant and he wants me to go there so I can talk to him,just been talking to one of my friends and we was comparing tests and amongst other things and my doctor has never tested me std's? i mean ive been with the same man for 13 years now but you never now and wondering why my doctor didnt send me for this?please give me your views ladies?did all you ladies make std tests?

[anton]

***Crashing for Greekchick ***

I am SO sorry honey. I really hoped this would be IT for you! I wish I had the right words to tell you and ease your pain but I don’t. What I can do is to speak to you from my heart as if you were my sister...

I feel your pain, believe me, been there so many times it hurts so much only thinking of the BFN’s...I know it’s easier said than done but trust me, things will get better. You will ‘get over’ this BFN and slowly move on to your next attempt to get that BFP we all dream about. I wish this was THE cycle for you kali mou and you wouldn’t have to go through another. Life is SO unfair and sucks some times and we just need to be strong and not to lose faith that IT will happen someday. I have been through 6 fresh IVF cycles and 1 FET with only BFN’s and I am still alive and kicking and I refuse to give up on my own...and believing that we are going to be parents someday soon, that is why I am telling you that things will get better. I definitely hope you won’t have to go through the same # of cycles that I’ve been so far and that next time is going to be the lucky one for you and your DH. About your DH’s reaction, its only normal for him to reach in such a way, mine had the same reaction especially on our 7th attempt and even though, I was, I am, ready to jump back on the train and start another cycle, he wasn’t ready. Too many negatives are tough to handle. I can’t blame him for feeling that way and you should try and be patient with yours too. You need to give him some space on the subject like I did with mine and when he is going to be ready he will tell you. And he will be, don’t worry. Be strong! Try not to forget that not everyone reacts the same way in some kind of circumstances. One might find it easier to cope with a BFN and another might feel his/her life is over. You, we, need to be patient, caring and forgiving in order to cope with Infertility and especially in order to save our relationship. I have made my decision long time ago that having DH in my life is more important than pushing him away and end up being without him. Couples relationships dealing with infertility get tested more that the ‘normal’ couples. This is such an emotional ride and we need to remember that we are both on this ride and we need to be there for eachother when needed the most. Sometimes both are strong sometimes one is stronger than the other, in our case looks like we have been selected to fill that part and be even more supportive to our other halves. Saying that, that doesn’t mean you are not allowed to grieve and be mad and angry with the doctor, with life, with God. You are only human honey and you need to express your feelings too to feel better and especially to keep your sanity!
Hang in there honey! Show your DH that you are here for him and we are going to be here for you! You are not alone in this and make sure he gets the same message from you.

Unfortunately there are cases where doctors have no answers to give to WHY it didn’t work (like mine) maybe ask for more tests e.g chromosomal, sperm etc. And even then, tests might come back normal and still no explanation about the negatives. (like mine) Both DH and I got tested for STD’s and a bunch of other tests that not all IVF couples get tested, just to make sure there is nothing we didn’t cover. Every time IT didn’t worked we added a few more testes just to rule about everything. Even the obvious ones. It all ends up in God’s hands I guess...

Try and be patient and supportive for your DH and things will get better and YOU will get your miracle next time! Focus on that!

I sent you a HUGE cyber HUG fili mou kai sou efxomai na pareis to thavma sou syndoma!

Sou stelnw ta fillia mou kai tin agapi mou.

Miracles happen every day! and yours is on its way!






Baby dust to us all! I sent my love to all the ladies of the board and I just want to let you know that my thoughts are with you! everyday! One of these days I will post and let you know how much I've missed 'talking' and sharing my life with you!

Love and kisses to all!

anton

[greekchick]

anton--that was soooo beautiful Ive got tears streaming down my face reading that its sooo sweet of you fili mou, I have left my dh to cope with it in his own way hes a very closed up man and this is how he deals with things I told him if he needs ask me anything or explain anything just ask but i know he wont from the transfer he never spoke about the ivf at all he didnt want get his hopes up neither did I but we do naturally we do and cant stop it i was saying to him yesterday ivf is sooo easy bit of running around injections are no prob but as soon as you have the transfer thats the hard bit ,Ive spoken to the doctor again i understand hes not god and he is just a doctor he wants me go to mainland to see him and talk about the next step,I would start today but my body needs a lickle break...just alot of patience for ivf couples...i would do it ten times if i knew on the 10th time i would be pregant just the not knowing, these days 8 out of 10 women ivf works for,i know the clinc where I go 3 out of 5 get pregnant its heartbreaking but if i wana be a mummy i need to get back on the train....ef haristo anton.xxxx

ninde--so sorry if ive been negative just a bit of shock and heart break for me like anyone really....wish you the best of luck sending u sticky baby dust..x

[WeHaveHope]

Greekchick-I am so sorry. Words cannot express how sorry I am that you did not get your BFP. With regards to your RE, I do agree that your RE should have checked you and your DH for STD's. Here in the states it is mandatory. I do find that a bit strange buy it may be common place in Greece, I'm not sure. I definitely would ask for a much testing to be done a's possible at this point, in addition to testing for any immune and clotting issues. Sometimes those will be the problem with implantation issues. PGD may also be an option. I've personally never had PGD but other ladies here have and have had success. Please remember that we are all here for you. Sending you a big hug and please know that you are always in my prayers. As Anton said, please do not give up. Miracles happen everyday.

Ninde-keeping your little eggs in my prayers. Praying that they all fertilize. Please keep us posted. You will be PUPO in no time, how exciting!!!

[greekchick]

we have hope--thank you sooo much for your kind words they mean alot to me and will never be forgotton,Ive asked the doctor bout stds it sounds bad saying stds but before you have ivf you should be checked for EVERYTHING its on my list of checks but hasnt been ticked off so must of been forgotton about so im going next week for a quick testing doctor im perfectly healthy and will come bk negative which I know it will but best to do it,my hubby already was checked for everything,was all clear,like i said been with same man for 13 years never been with anyone else so i know it will be clear but best to do it,as for bloodclotting after the 2nd failed ivf i was tested for this straight away and carrier type me n the hubby everything come back clear...if they found something at least i could blame it in a sort of way but I dont want find anything at same time,
like I said the bloodclotting test was fine but the doc still put me on Clexane 1 a day (blood thinning) which baffled me,Im dizzy with it all thinking about it, ALOT of patience is needed for us women on here..hope ur well we have hope? thanks for listening

[greekchick]

we have hope-- sorry i forgot sommit what is pgd?think you have different names than we do here?

[babysoft10]

Hello Ladies,

Greek - I'm so sorry you are going through this....I understand how you feel and I sincerely hope you get your BFP very soon. I can definitely relate to how your DH is, as mine is very similar. When we initially started going through infertility, he wouldn't even go to the dr with me out of fear that it was him and he'd never be able to give me a family! Since then he has gone through so many different emotions....but he never verbally expresses them...I only see it when we are around his nieces or nephews and thats when I'd break down! I know right now you feel very disappointed, but coming from someone who has been trying to conceive for 11 years, please STAY POSITIVE!! There are days that I don't want to get out of bed, sometimes I feel it's so unfair that something that some women can do without thinking about, I haven't been able to do with the help of medical science! I know the first couple of years in this was very very hard on me and I kept a negative outlook because nothing was working. But honestly once I was able to shed that outlook and put positivity first, sometimes being positive to the point of knowing it will happen and seeing it happening will help!! It helped me.....I refused to give up hope! So take some time to heal, but know you will get the result you want! I will definitely keep you in my prayers. (Sorry if I rambled)

I hope all the ladies are doing well and srry I don't have much time for personals.

AFM - I woke up this morning with some light spotting! I'm a nervous wreck and I'm trying not to stress out! I've read that it's very common to have spotting but it still worries me. It only appears when I use the bathroom and it's brown. I'm going to spend the day of the couch trying to relax. I'll be back tomorrow after my beta.

[WeHaveHope]

Greekchick-you dint need to thank me, but you are very welcome. That's what we are all here for, to be here for each other through the good time and the bad times. To answer your question, PGD is when they actualy check each of the embryos for chromosomal abnormalities. Quite a few of the ladies in these boards have had PGD done and have had success because it eliminated embryos that are affected by abnormalities and so you only implant those that are not affected. It's a thought. PGD stnd for preimplantation genetic diagnosis. Other have also been tested for immune disorders. I read some studies in which some women have underlying immune disorders which actualy case the embryo to be rejected and thus it dies not implant. I don't quite recall hoe it is treated but I know that it is treat in some manner. I've also read studies where in women that are having issues with implantation and everything had been ruled out, the REwill still treat them with blood thinners and with whatever they use to treat immune issues because they figure it couldn't hurt. I'll see if I van find some of the links to the research I read. Try to take it easy right now. Take all the time you need. Reconnect with DH which I found after several failed cycles and MC's is the most important thing you van both do during these difficult times. And remember I am here for you. Sending you a great big hug and keeping you always in my prayers.

[Ninde]

Hi ladies, im awake

Greek: im so sorry, I know this is very hard for you. It is really difficult to not have any answers particularly when there seems to be no reason for you not to get pregnant. And antonia is so right, this journey can take a huge toll on our relationships. Your dh may need more time and I hope he can work out what he needs to. In the meantime talk to people who support you, this is too hard to do alone and whilst I understand you need your dh to reach out to you, dont hold it all inside. You deserve love and support so look to others who can also give you that. We all need it and more importantly, deserve it. Thank you so much for your concern for me in your comments, I didnt expect it at all but it was extremely nice of you x

Babysoft: im really crossing everything for you. Definately women have had bleeds and things were fine and that's what I hope for you. But I know how hard that is so keep checkin in here x

Maria: im sorry but you cant leave the board - your kindness would be missed too much x

Cyn: good luck tomorrow

Afm: quite sore from retrieval but thankfully no vomitting this time so that's a bonus. Im just hoping for some of the 5 to fertilise

Ninde

[babysoft10]

Good Afternoon Ladies -

Just woke up...and wanted to check in on everyone!

Ninde- I have everything crossed for a great report! Glad you are feeling a little better...I was sore for two days after my ER but I took it easy so it was too bad. I always throw-up after being put under...so of course it made my soreness a little worse!

Greek - I'm thinking of you and hope you are doing well today! Sending you a big HUGE HUG!!!

Maria - I second Ninde....all the while being extremely happy that you've been able to move on to the next board!

AFM, no more spotting. Not sure what it was but it was very light and honestly had I not been analyzing every single speck of my body right now...I probably would have missed it! I'm still taking it easy and feel so tired...I can barely stay up! Well beta is tomorrow...so I will keep everyone posted.

Sending loads of baby dust and positive vibes to all the ladies!!

[fvrogers]

Good Afternoon Ladies -

Just woke up...and wanted to check in on everyone!

Ninde- I have everything crossed for a great report! Glad you are feeling a little better...I was sore for two days after my ER but I took it easy so it was too bad. I always throw-up after being put under...so of course it made my soreness a little worse!

Greek - I'm thinking of you and hope you are doing well today! Sending you a big HUGE HUG!!!

Maria - I second Ninde....all the while being extremely happy that you've been able to move on to the next board!

AFM, no more spotting. Not sure what it was but it was very light and honestly had I not been analyzing every single speck of my body right now...I probably would have missed it! I'm still taking it easy and feel so tired...I can barely stay up! Well beta is tomorrow...so I will keep everyone posted.

Sending loads of baby dust and positive vibes to all the ladies!!

BabySoft - Sounds like implantation spotting to me!! I had it the day before my beta Very little blood, just noticed it once when I went to the bathroom, then no more. You are in my prayers for tomorrow.

[anton]

sorry for Crashing for a quickie again...


Ninde
I am keeping my fingers crossed for you girl! and I am sure there’s a winner ...or two among those 5! Take a good rest now and get ready to bring home your Lo’s! How many are you planning on transfering? Are you having a 3dt or a 5dt? No matter what, I sent a ton of baby dust and sticky vibes your way!

Babysoft
I sent a ton of baby dust to you too honey and hope your beta is sky high tomorrow! there's a BIG chance that spotting was implantation bleeding!

Maria
I am SO glad you have passed the 15week mile stone! Congrats honey! Keep up the good work mama! I am SO happy for you!

Paula/Greekchick
I hope you are starting to feel better honey... (((HUGS)))

Fvrogers
Woohoo!! On the 29 weeks mama! Well done! Slowly, slowly, you are getting there,...meeting your miracle! I am so happy for you!

Baby dust to us all girls! My love and kisses to everyone!
anton

[fvrogers]

negative feel like kicking shit out of the doctor

Greekchick - I am so very sorry about your test result. You have gotten great advice here so I will not rehash what has already been said. I do know how it feels to be upset with your doctor. Especially when they are not offering any advice regarding why IVF is not working. That was one of the reasons I left my second doctor. When my cycle failed she was "perplexed" and had no suggestions for what to do differently . On the other hand, even though there are not always answers, there are always options. My current RE was more proactive when my cycle with him failed. He had a game plan on what we could do differently. One thing he was open to (after I suggested it) was an endometrial biopsy prior to my frozen cycle. I have included the link to an article that someone shared with me regarding this treatment. The idea is pretty much causing slight injury to the endometrium in an effort to stimulate the cells to grow and be more receptive to implantation. We did an HSG to assess my uterus prior to my frozen cycle and at that time he did the bipsy. He aso put me on baby aspirin prior to the transfer as well. God alone knows if that is what made the difference, but it was after these interventions that I got my BFP after having multiple failed cycles.

The article is below. But please take time to heal with your DH, Anton is right in stressing the importance of staying strong as a couple and remembering that above all your relationship with him is what is most important. Sending big hugs and support.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2890904/

[fvrogers]

Anton - Thanks for the love hun!!! I cannot believe I am 29 weeks!! This little fellow is definitely a miracle. How are you?? Any luck on the job front? I think of you and your awesome spirit all the time. I hope you know how special you are.

Felicia

[LauraN]

Sorry, I've been MIA for a bit. I was at a conference all weekend that I didn't get online the entire weekend.

Greek- I am so sorry! This is our last fresh IVF round that we are going to do and I decided to do what's called PGS. It's similar to the PGD, however, from what the lab told us, PGD is when they look at specific chromosomal issues that are of concern, like Cystic Fibrosis, etc and PGS is when they look at everything. So, we will have them do a biopsy of each of our embryos at Day 5 and then do a Day 6 transfer of only chromosomally normal embryos. We are doing this because we found out with my last miscarriage that basically I just have an issue with egg quality and that would account for my miscarriages. It does bring the cost up about $5,000, but I don't know what the extra cost would be for you.

We- I may have missed it, but did anyone agree to take over your Roll Call job. I was just curious, I tried to go back and look but didn't see it. Obviously we would miss you, but totally understand that it's time for you to move on.

Ninde- how exciting. Sorry I missed all of the excitment of the trigger and the ER. I can't wait to hear the fert results!

Leora- your new little furbaby is adorable! I love my "puppies" so much. We have the 4 big Akitas... a 5 year old male, two 2 year old females and then a 1 year old female (who is the baby of our male and 1 of the females). And, our other female is now prego...so I will be having little puppies around the end of April. I can't wait, and also am dreading it. I hate it when it comes to selling them. Last time, I cried with all 8 that we sold and just loved on the last one that we kept. It was funny, we so didn't have a choice to sell her, everytime someone would come over to see the puppies, she would run and hide.

Sorry, I know I have missed a lot of people...I hope to get caught up soon on what's going on, but not making any promises.

AFM- started the Lupron this morning and then start the stimms tomorrow. I'll have my first SnS Saturday morning. I'm going out of town Saturday night and will be back late Monday night and then will have my next SnS Tuesday morning. The thought, is that the ER will be on April 7th and then the ET will be on April 13th (OOOOOOO.....Friday the 13th) I hope those are the dates, but obviously it could swing either way a day or so. Anyways, when I get back into town, sometime on Tuesday, I will go buy out the dollar store for HPT's and then also buy some more expensive ones just to verify. I'm really considering starting to test the day after transfer and just make it a fun time watching it go from positive from the trigger to negative and then wait to see when it becomes positive again...... and, i'll take pictures, but am not promising that I'll be able to figure out how to post them on here.

Time to get back to work. You guys have a great day (or night for some of you).