Update: FET for Dummies =)

[Sunshine1576]

Katie,
I am so sorry I ddin't get over here sooner, just sadden that this didn't work for this cycle. It's good that you didn't go in there blindfolded waiting for the results and maybe this is why I'm saving my own very last hpt. I know it's crazy to ask this but do you think there might be chance for you to cycle with Franny and me in May? I hope the coordinator gets everything figured out and you can save the 2k on the next cycle. You never know sometimes when we least expect it, something good happens. I'm sending you much babydust-
Christy

[gi]

Hey Katie

The only time i get to log on here is when i have a sneaky few mins at work!! I totally understand when you ask when is it enough, if i didnt have Kayla obviously my answer would be Never!!! but now that i do have her we are just gonna use up are frozen embies (we have 3 so prob fingers crossed 1transer) we are saving to go on hols to New York in Oct. then will go for a consultation for ivf Next Jan/feb and hopefully do fet around May 2013, i would just love to to it now but financially its not realistic and jason and i havent been on hols in 4 yrs so really looking foward to it, mam and dad are gonna mind kayla and the dogs for 5 days so its gonna be bliss just the 2 of us just eating, drinking, sleeping and shopping!!!! Also fingers crossed i would ideally like Kayla to be 3 if i have another baby and out of nappies etc, i am only 32 so have plenty of time though a friend of mine is pregnant and i just sometimes feel a teeny bit jealous she got pg on 1st month of trying but i tell myself to cop on i always said i would be just so blessed to have one and there is so many girls on here still battling on.

gi xxx

[to_have_fun08]

katie -- When is enough is a good question? For me on my first, i had to give DE a shot.. I don't think i cold say I was done till then. For my 2nd I will be done after my frozen embies are all used. every person has a different answers. I remember so many times going into ER and saying, least this will be my last time.. then i did another cycle.. then another. There is only so much our hearts, minds and wallets can take. I would say try and set a stopping point for yourself. You and your hubby only know what that stopping point is. Everyone is different. I don't know if you ever followed NY4thtry, I think she did 14 cycles (could be wrong on the #) and finally in the last couple of months has a baby on the way and using a surrogate. For me I couldn't have gone that far but like I said its all who you are and what you can handle and afford.

Good Luck Girlie!!!

[Sunshine1576]

Katie,
Looking back I do understand where you are coming from...For us we know it will be IVF quiting time once we have exhausted the IVF Attain Program and if no baby we will look into either surrogancy or adoption. My heart feels we will have a challenge one way or another since we desire 2 ...But first we have to make it to the first one, I know it's hard either way being scared that what if we cannot even have one, then once we find a way for the first one to come into our lives we are worried about him/her's sibbling. I wish we knew what tomorrow will bring, but that's a whole another chapter. x

[katie99]

Sorry its taken me so long to write back, its been sort of a busy few days around here. I did finally get an answer from the donor coordinator, its not their policy to drop the fee unless you're not changing batches, but I guess the RE felt bad since there was no chance to have any left over - there were only 3 and now they're gone. I'm guessing that when she asked him he "wiggled" that rule because she didnt know what I was talking about when i first called her and then when she called me back it was a different story. Thank God because theres no way we could have pulled another cycle together so quickly without it. I've already heard from the donor coordinator and was supposed to get my consents notarized yesterday
(I'll get them done on Tues, shhh, lol) and AF showed up friday so I spent the day trying to get ahold of the clinic to see if I'm starting BCPs and they said yes. So started BCPs yesterday. I feel like a hamster on the ivf wheel cycling back to back, but if I wouldnt have jumpd right back in I may have just sat down and said you know what? I'm tired of this.. So instead I jumped quick and now its in the works so its too late to think about it too much. All I know is this had better flipping work because I'm not doing this again - its just too all consuming for me. Well that plus I dont even remember what a vacation feels like anymore, lol. I was told I'll get my schedule soon because the RE wants to change some things and I think that means pushing my estrogen more from the get go - ummm, hooray for hot flashes??? I'll do it without complaint - whatever it takes, right?

Christy - - You will get that BFP and I'll kep fingers crossed that you can have a sibling also before your Attain runs out. Attain is a great option for multiple tries, I wish that I would have went that route from the beginning. And I believe that May is likely ( I hope they're not thinking june!) I'm hoping to know for sure next week. Babydust all around for all of us!!

Chris - When I think of how many tires it takes some of us I cant help but think how we must be the strongest ( or maybe its stubborn, haha) women out there. For us infertile females its like when we finally get there - these little ones are so loved and cherished that every moment revolves around them, and thats just fine by me. You had some great embies frozen and just waiting for you and I'm thinking that Jake's sibling is going to happen in July! It is hard to not let all those negative thoughts feeling and anxieties back in again, but I'm pretty sure that its normal - I mean look how many times we've been on the wrong end of that beta call. Its like a PTSD reaction, its just that we want it so bad that we're willing to put ourselves out there again and hopefully get the right answer again. Dont mind me I must be in an odd reflective mood today-

Gi - I'm so happy that you'll be getting to go on a holiday soon!! You know the idea of sleeping late and having some peace and quiet sounds good for a few days, but you're going to miss Kayla so much! 4 years without a vacation is about what we're at too. Make the most of every moment and you know I'm about an hr from NYC, and I think Claudia and Karen arent that far either. I know you wont have too much time, but maybe a quick lunch?? I mean how often are you in the US, right? Thats a smart move to wait until nappies are done and finished with! I wrestle so much for a change that the idea of being done with them is getting very appealing - it just wont happen for at least a year or so.. I guesss I better just get better and faster at it, lol. missed you and please say hello to your mam for me - xoxo

[claudia662]

Just wanted to check in with you ladies and see how you were all doing?!?!?

[gi]

Hey ladies,

Claud hows the pregnancy going????

Katie so will have to give meeting up in New York cause jason and I have decided to just go and do our FET instead!!!! I am so excited going to ring the clinic today and book a consultation which could be 2 mths away depending on their waiting list but just gonna get the ball rolling and try schedule a FET for Sept/Oct, we only have one more shot at this and i am always wondering if we are gonna have another baby so we said we should just do it and know one way or another then we will finally end our IVF journey(unless we win the lotto!!) but we are not going to save or borrow for another ivf after this. If it fails we are going to NewYork and Las Vegas next yr so can meet up then I cant believe we are going again within next 6 mths so super super excited.... i miss being pregnant. How are you?

gi xx

[turtle0619]

Claud So glad you wrote! How are you feeling? When is your scan to find out the sex? Are you still going to find out? I hope you are feeling good, and that you are having a happy passover! I hope that baby likes matzo!! We went to my SIL's mom's house for seder with my brother, SIL, and my 2 nieces. Hearing them sing dayenu was adorable, but it was the fastest seder ever because everyone was worried about the girls having a meltdown. Barry and I decided it wasn't up to our seder standards and had our own private seder again on Monday. Love ya girl..thinking of you always!!

Gi I'm so excited that you are going to try again. It's wicked scary, but you need to know "what if"! Good luck!!

Katie whats's going on? Did you pick a new donor? Did you book your trip back to nevada? Let me know whats going on!

Libby How are those twiners doing?? I hope you are feeling well. I think of you everyday! xoxoxo

AFM I've done nothing. I need to get motivated to call my RE. I want to try again, but I keep looking at the calendar and saying to myself "what day do I want to find out bad news, and cry my eyes out??" and to be honest no day looks like a good day to do that to myself again...so I'm just doing nothing!
I think of you all every day, and love you girls like crazy!! xoxoxo

[to_have_fun08]

Turtle - There really is no rush. You will know when its the right time for you.

Katie - Anything new?

GI - Congrats on deciding to try again. It isn't easy to get back on the wagon. Good Luck and keep us posted.


AFM - nothing new, still trying for that miracle baby.. LOL!! Like that will ever work. I think I will start BCP's in May, drugs the middle of June and transfer the week of July 16th. So weird to already have a schedule. Now just to come up for the money for the FET. Good thing is that I guess I am now in the "your lucky" club because my clinic is giving me a discount on the FET. With my donor cycle, my clinic charged me a price and I know 5 other gals that got a lot lower prices. When i mentioned this to the financail gal she said that they never offered a cycle that low. WTF, I know she was lying. Oh and then she said " Well at least you were lucky enough to get other cycles covered under insurance." Like that really helped after having 7 failed cycles and paying for a dE cycle.

[gi]

Thanks Chris, i too never give up on getting my "miracle" baby naturally hell if you dont try it def. wont work I have my review booked for Wed. 9th May for round number 8!! I hope it we can afford to do it by Oct as now i have my mind set i just want to do it now!!! besides i actually miss all the drama in doing it and my POAS addiction!!

gixx

[to_have_fun08]

gi -You are crazy.. the drama, POAS.. wow, i don't miss that what so ever. I am dreading all that again. Wish i had a crystal ball to tell me if it will work or not.

[katie99]

Hi everyone -

Wow, we sure did let this thread go for a while, huh? Maybe we should rename it to a 'trying again soon' thread since we're all on different schedules, lol.

Claudia - Thanks for getting this thread going again! How are you feeling there mama? Bet you cannot wait for the end of the month so you can find out if you're growing a boy or a girl. I'm thinking blue though..

Franny - I completely get how unsettled you feel to even call your RE, its a daunting feeling, but you have to wait until you feel ready. I wish that your last try was your lucky cycle - but darn it girl - no one around here is going to rest until you have your little miracle baby! If you only knew how many silent cheerleaders you have!! I know its hard to let yourself open up for another round of this madness, but I hope that you're at least somewhat planning the next try. Have you asked them for testing regarding immune issues? If you were going to push for that you should get it out of the way. I'm pretty sure they take awhile for the results to come back. I think of you often and am here and ready to cheer you on!!

Libby - How are you feeling twin mama? have you had another u/s? Hope you're feeling ok and not too nauseous mama.

Chris - Whew! Dont you just love dealing with the financial person for clinics? They are always so matter of fact and seem blind to the idea that this is very emotional for us, nevermind what we have to give up to afford yet another try, right? I'm glad that you'll be getting a discount - it surely helps a bit. But who would say something as dumb and insensitive to a patient?? Ummm, sure we've had to endure lots to concieve - but at least ins paid for some??? What an idiot. I hear you on the lack of 'oomph" for another try - its really hard to not get your stomach in knots just thinking of an ivf schedule, isnt it? fingers crossed for us all that THESE are the last cycles needed for us all..

Gi - Oh, you are the POAS addict, arent you? I always end up buying those darn eveil sticks too - but I secretly hate them. Well, only because they seem to never give me the happy answer.. lol. And its wonderful that you and J will be trying again soon! You know we'll all be here for you to hold your hand through this maddening process. Fingers crossed honey! I cant wait to hear how your review appt goes next month. You'll have a sibling for your sweet Kayla soon!!! say hi to your Mam for me, ok? - xoxo

AFM - I got my schedule last night. FET is set for May 24th. It will be the same as last time, fly there on a Wed, transfer on Thurs, and back home on Friday night. I'm not exactly jumping up and down about having to do this again, but I think as it gets closer my enthusiasm will increase. Its really not not to feel knocked down by a failed try, you know? And I try real hard NOT to think that since my one success - there have been 3 more failures. Ach, onward and upwards, right, ladies? This will be a 5 day transfer this time because we were matched with a large batch of 14!! Can you even imagine having so many left over? I cant, but then DOR is one of my diagnosis'. I dont know too much about these embies history, but will get that info from the RE when I talk to him. I did read that the females diagnosis was severe endo, ovarian cysts and fibroids. I need to know for my own conscience if the RE thinks that IF this works, and IF it were to be a girl IF these could be inherited?? I have heard from my old RE that they can be passed on and oh my, the idea of possibly passing on infertility to a child and thinking that someday she will have to go through endless ivf too?? Ugh, I dont even want to let my brain go any further unti I ask the RE.. I havent talked to the RE yet, that wont happen until I'm ready to start estrogen which is May 1st. but I know that with a batch that large they will definitely grow them out to blast stage and then hopefully have 2 good ones to transfer. I wonder how many they'll thaw initially? I know this clinic is fairly conservative so I'm guessing that they'll only thaw 2-3 and see how they do. I will ask when I talk to the RE because I'm curious to know myself. So umm, yay? another try? If someone had told me in 2008 when this all started that I'd end up on attempt number 11 - I would have laughed in their face! Yet, here I am.. I sure hope that these little ones understand someday just how far we had to go to have them. OK, speaking of little ones, guess who's up and ready to tear up the house for the 10th time today. God bless whoever invented coffee! Much love to you all - xoxo

[turtle0619]

I am a horrible person. Today is my nieces 5th birthday, and my parents decided to take my brother, SIL, and my 2 nieces on a week long trip to Orlando so that they could take my niece to disney for the first time on her birthday. My mom said to me "I wanted to take my only grandchildren to disney because this may be my only chance to experience this once in a lifetime moment with my only granddaughters before I'm too old to do it"
So how do I feel?? At first I didn't really care, but now they are there, and they keep sending me all these pictures, and I'm so jealous, and really really sad.
But then it gets worse...I get an email from my dad saying that my brother and SIL keep fighting, and bickering at each other!! Now I'm just MAD. They have no idea how lucky they are. They should be so happy to see how thrilled their 2 daughters are..they have no idea what some people would give to have their "problems".
Leave it to them to find something to complain about on their daughters birthday at the happiest place on earth. WTH??
Now to make it even worse I feel horrible about being mad, jealous, and sad...there are just so many levels to how I am feeling right now.

Sorry..I needed to vent!!

xoxo

[katie99]

You have every right to feel how you're feeling. I'm sure your mom wasnt aware that what she said would hurt you, its just that it would have been better if she phrased that differently. Hinting that you should give her Grandbabies probably is what she wants as much as you & Barry want also - it seems like she just blurted that out insensitively. I cant imagine who wouldnt be happy to be at the happiest place on Earth either. Geez, I've never been there ever - and I lived in Fl for years, go figure, huh? You know we are here anytime you need to vent, honey. Going through all these cycles changes us amd makes it harder to be as resilient as we used to be. Just dont let infertility win, ok? You ARE going to Disney! And you ARE going to hold your child up for a hug from Mickey Mouse. I just wish that we knew ( like Chris said) which cycle would work.. damn not having a crystal ball. Its not so easy to build up PMA, but we all have loads here for you & Barry, ok? Please call your RE and see what they have to say about what should be done differently the next time, ok? Big hugs to you my friend - and who needs FL when its flipping 90 degrees in NY - in April no less.. what happened to those nice cooling April showers??? - much love honey - xoxo

[Arabsrcool]

Claudia,

Hope all is well with your pregnant self!

Katie,

glad to hear you have schedule again. WOW a batch of 14 left over.....that is amazing!. You should be able to get 2 blasts, so you can have your 2nd miracle! I know its hard to be this far into the IVF journey, 11 tries is alot, but look at what at blessing your little tornado is!. Will be stalking you girl.

Franny,

families can be so screwed up!. Sorry about your moms comment, I sure she didn't think it thru before she said it. I cannot imagine fighting at Disney during your kids birthday, that is SO NOT COOL!

Ronda