Gina- we keep saying "well... one more cycle" - but when we get that BFN, it's soooo hard to stop. I really hope your first IVF works, but it's so hard when you know this is the 'last shot' and it fails.
Kynlee - I'm the kinda person who prefers to get out of the house and exercise. If I do it at home (I used to do Tae-Bo kickboxing vidoes) I find the videos get too repetitive (and the dogs freak out
) I'm going to join a gym this afternoon!
Patricia - thanks for the advice. I think I'm going to have to talk to David about what's a reasonable expectation. I think he just wants to see me making a real effort... and keeping with it.
Seriously, what is up with your throat? This sucks. -- but I'm so happy to hear that you are feeling 'in a better place' about the IVF.
Cyn - really? I can't travel with a package of Mentos (apparently the metal wrapper shows up in the scans - and I got stopped once and interrogated over BREATH MINTS!) - but you can travel with needles? You could've injected the pilot with Lupron -- that would be worse than hijacking it, no? Can you imagine a super moody pilot?
I hope Friday shows that you are on track to start the progesterone for transfer!
HopeThisWorksM - when I got the BFN, my first thought was "ugh, I don't want to share bad news. Everyone is rooting for me!" I always feel bad sharing bad news -- but I don't have any good news to share
I'm sure your two little ones are fine in there. No symptoms at all? Consider yourself lucky!
Amanda - at a certain point, you'll have to give up the pee sticks, preggo!
I totally understand how it doesn't matter if the baby is genetically yours or not, but it might be good to know for medical reasons (if there is a 'family history' of anything. My mom is adopted, and doctors don't like that I don't have a 'family history'). I would also die of curiousity. Our boys were di/di twins (meaning in seperate sacs, with separate placentas) and we transferred 2 embryos, but there is still a chance they were identical. They both had D's less common blood type. We never thought to take a DNA sample before they were buried, so we'll never know if they were identical or fraternal - but I want to know!
Christy - DH and I joke about kidnapping a baby all the time. When ever we see a stroller with a baby unattended (like at the play ground, or the supermarket, when the mom is paying attention to something else), we talk about just taking it. Too bad there would be too many questions we couldn't answer and no paperwork! I always say that if we are going to stroller-snatch - we should snatch a GOOD stroller. We shouldn't steal a kid in some crappy knock-off one! Kidnap a Bugaboo!
Sometimes I despair of running out of options and having to live child-free --- I really hope adoption or IVF works for us. We totally deserve to be moms....
Margi - thanks, dear. This really sucks and is unfair. We kinda expected it, based on the awful fert results. But still devastating.
Lauren - just 2 days until your u/s, no? Try to hold on! I'm sure things are fine. Have you taken a pee stick, just to see the two lines?
Wendy (Tess) - thanks. I really really really really hope this is your healthy rainbow baby, but I'm sure you must be sh*tting bricks for the next 6 weeks or so! I know I'll be totally on edge until about 30 weeks pregnant - so it's a loooonngg time to be stressed out! Just remember, you have a 75% (or whatever) of a HEALTHY baby!
AFM- Did you know it rains sand here? I woke up and it was overcast this morning --- but no water will fall from the sky (we get zero rain between March and November) -- instead, I had to turn my wind shield wipers on for the SAND falling. So weird. I don't think I'll ever get used to this weather! (Jerusalem is on the edge of the Judean dessert, so when there are sandstorms there, it rains sand here!)
Our social worker visit went great. She wasn't even so interested in the house -- just we had one and that we had a room for a baby (we have a guest room/office that will be the nursery). We sat at the dining room table and talked. She wanted to hear us talk about our background, and why we want to be parents, and why we are interested in foster care (foster-to-adopt). Then we talked about different kinds of scenarios that can arise with foster care. Most are pretty scary (involvment with biological parents, visiting times, court decisions, losing then re-gaining custody, etc), but I think we could handle it.
We got to ask some questions. 3 of the main ones for me were (1) what is the child's name? The child keeps the name their biological parents gave them. If we adopt, we can change the name then. We can also use nicknames if we don't like the name. (2) what does the child call us? "Mommy and Daddy" (or whatever we choose). If the biological parents are also involved, then there are two sets of names (ie, we can be "mom and dad" and the bio parents "ima and aba" (in Hebrew) or whatever, or "Mommy Leora" and "Mommy whatever"). (3) can we pursue this and IVF at the same time? SURE! They have no problem with mixed families. We can foster and then have our own, or have our own and then foster - and we can keep doing the IVF during this whole process. (I was worried because Christy said the adoption people wanted her to not be doing more IVF)
She asked us a lot of questions. Over all, we talked for an hour and ahalf and I think it went well. She said "transparency" is really important - they'll tell us everything they know, and we have to tell them everything that's relevant. She said that if at any point they decide they don't want us, they'll tell us right away - we won't think we are waiting when really we are off the list.
We talked about what limitations we have. Right now, we don't care about boy/girl or race - and are open physical disabilites (anything from a cleft lip/palate, to missing limbs, to scars, to blind or deaf -- obviously on a case-to-case basis), but we definitely want less than a year old and no (known) special needs. We aren't open to the idea of Down's Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy or something that serious. A lot of the babies are "drug withdrawal" babies - ie their moms took drugs while pregnant. That we said we'd consider on a case to case basis, and meanwhile we'll reasearch what it means and how we feel about it.
It feels wrong to put limitations on it. The older children and children with special needs are those that especially need homes. But we've talked about it, and the social worker totally agreed with us, that we can only take what we feel we can handle. Taking an older child or a special needs kid would probably be worse for everyone. We wouldn't be able to handle that at this point. Maybe in the future, but not now.
phew!
We meet her another few times (another appt for next Tuesday night) and then she writes a report either recommending us or not. If she recommends us - we take a foster-parenting course. When we pass, we are just waiting for a match.
This is exciting and scary.
There are some buearacracy hiccups -- if we do this, I don't get maternity leave (which I would get if we adopted. Actually, I'll still get maternity leave if we adopt - but that could be in years and years!
). We do get money from the government for raising a foster kid (about $500/month, plus any special expenses - like therapy (psychological or physical), tutoring (for learning disabilities) any specialist doctors, etc), which could help if I take time off from work (which I want to!). Our status as foster parents would make it very difficult to leave the country with the child (which is an issue since my family lives in teh USA, but I guess they'd have to come here to visit!). Things like that.
RE appt tonight -- I really hope we get a green light to start again!
Hopefully SOMETHING will make some progress and we'll bring home a baby someday soon!
Kynlee-FET approx June 4th 2012
Dandme-FET 2012
Chris (to_have_fun08) - transfer week of July 16
Cyn - FET in May - on Lupron, AF arrived 5/15
Antonia (Anton)-IVF 2012
Gina1976-will schedule appt w/RE in several months for 1st IVF
Christy (Sunshine1576)- estimated ER - July 23, 2012
Amy (Jayne321)
Patircia (Ninde) summer 2012
Nicole (blueeyeddreamer) summer 2012
Georgia22 summer 2012
Sarah (Kala 0704) - bcp started 4/21. FET planned for June 20
KrysE - FET - beta 5/27
*Julia73-PUPO 3-23, 4-26 BFP Beta 542, 4-29 Beta 2343, 4-11 Beta 4102, 4-16 u/s - heartbeat!
*Annashope-BFP 4-11 Beta 35, 4-13 Beta 121, Beta 566 - u/s = 1 heartbeat!
*Globetrotter HPT BFP at 12dpo, beta at 16dpo = 540! Next beta 4/27 = 1260, U/s in 2 weeks
*HopeThisWorksM-PUPO 4-14, beta 4/25 = 238! beta 4/27 = 588, beta 5/2 = 5700! u/s 5/11 = 2 heartbeats!
*Lauren- FET 5/3 - +HPT. Beta =474! Beta#2 - more than doubled! u/s on 5/18= 1 sac, next u/s 5/26
*Amanda1979- ER 5/1 - ET x 3 - BFP on HPTs! beta 5/14 (10dp4dt) = 100! beta 2 on 5/17 = 234! next beta 5/23
We love you and are always here for you
Greekchick
Cyn22
Patricia (Ninde)
LauraN
Leora (leorira11)-hoping to start again ASAP. RE appt 5/23
Patricia (Ninde)
Nicole (blueeyeddreamer)
Jump back on board, you can do it. 
Thanks for asking how I'm doing. I had my first mtg with the high risk team. Had a scan - wee bean is measuring up fine and heartbeat all good. Plan of action is scan at 12,16, 20 and 24 wks. Should be able to pick up MGS by 16 wks. So it's another 6 wks of not telling the general public. Ahrrgghh! I'm already feeling fat. 
Have no words. Wish I had to make you feel better. But I don’t. I had 7 BFN’s so far in my journey and I still can’t digest them! 
...I am glad you are feeling ready to jump on the rollercoaster! I know exactly how that feels! Both RE’s I have worked with leave a month between each BFN. (BFN period then another period then start new cycle) Oh Leora, you know how much we all pray for you, for all of us here, and I really hope you get your miracle baby SOON! How was the RE appt and the SW visit?! I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and David and I can’t wait to celebrate good news with you! hell! I am even ready to come at your hospital when you deliver your baby! I’ll jump on the plane and fly over to Israel just for that day for you! 
i guess i am still in denial that this might be an option for us in the end 
xoxoxo
Planning gatherings and stay over’s is my kind of thing!...or used to be... Sounds like you are going to have a lot of traffic in your house! I remember we used to do a lot of BBQ’s at our place, like almost every weekend, but now not so often. For friends at least. we do mostly with our families. Ever since we started getting BFN’s we don’t feel like having parties in our place. Not that we still don’t have gatherings, just not as other as we used to before. I remember everyone was looking forward to get an invitation for a party at our place. I used to have a big party at my birthday and DH’s birthday every year and we had around 50 people over with a dj, snacks and cocktails all day long around the pool and at night we had BBQ and wine tasting. We started in the morning and finish late at night. Good old days... and to think that all that where happening about 3yrs ago 
Maybe you should bring an exorcist and take the bad vibes away! 
If you can’t communicate with her (due to the language barrier) then your DH SHOULD explain some basic stuff of what you guys are going through. A pressure from the in laws is the last thing you need right now! My MIL is quite the opposite. I can’t believe she even told me one day that she had an idea ...:’how about telling your RE to use another sperm! And we don’t have to say anything to my son! He doesn’t have to know’...and she was half joking, half serious about this ‘idea’! 
...I couldn’t have a better welcome home than this! 
