Update: FET for Dummies =)

[LYD10]

Franny, what about a surrogate? I know it's expensive, but maybe someone in your extended family?

[Arabsrcool]

Franny,

aw, honey. I am at a loss for words. I'm sorry, just doesn't seem to be enough............((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

Ronda

[katie99]

Franny - Yeah, this does really suck! I know the feeling well of wondering why we have to do so much research on why its not working. Isnt that what the RE is supposed to do? I know they're not magicians, but when I asked him what he thought of the hcg wash, he hadnt heard of it. Umm, I guess that means you didnt go to the annual RE's conference then, huh? Sigh. I read on forums too and quite a few RE's are making it a standard part of their FET protocol. So are you going to get your f/u appt? At least get his opinion on what he'd like to try next and see if you should get going with the Depot Lupron. Maybe theres more to it if none of your RE's have brought it up so far? I feel for you honey, Lupron did not agree with me at all. Well neither do these higher doses of estrogen, but we do what we have to, right? I'm also wondering if it could be the embies in my case as well, but then i think it has to be me because we've now had bfn with 3 different sets of donor embies, boy is that a depressing thought.. I'm not expecting results today, my nurse's email said that they sent the "pending results" ( whatever that means) and that she hopes they'll be completed sometime this week. Then they have to set up another phone consult so the RE can tell me what he thinks of my results and what he wants to try next. Ugh, I hate feeling like some sort of lab rat, you know? And this RE is so calming and reassuring that it never fails that I get off the phone with him positive that the next try will absolutely work! Well, until it fails. I dont mean to sound negative, but these highs and lows emotionally are so hard hard on your outlook and spirit. I mean we HAVE to think positive thoughts or we'd never have the push to keep going, but for me I feel like if it didnt work last time ( or the 3 times before that, lol) then if he's not going to try changing something - why would it work another time?? I guess I'm just worried that if these tests find nothing, then what? try again? Ugh, these thoughts give me a headache! I dont know why this is so hard for us. I just know that you will make a great mom and I want this so badly for you and Barry. You've gone above and beyond on this ifv train and you deserve your bfp. I'm here for you Franny, and I think you have lots of silent cheerleaders too! Love yo girl! - xoxo

[to_have_fun08]

Sending tons of (((HUGS))) to Frannie and Katie.. I wish I had the answers for you. heck i don't even have the answers for me. i might have just gotten lucky with Jake. Just know that we are all here for you. That is the least we can offer. if i hear of anything else that might help i will let ya know. You defiantly would think after so many embies transferred that one should take. I don't know why they aren't and I am not religious so i won't say that there is a higher reasoning. There has to be one good embie left in your batches.

[turtle0619]

My boss just came into my office and told me his wife is pregnant. Seriously...I think someone just wants me to have a mentalbreakdown!

[Supergenius]

Acckkk!!! Poor Franny! I assume he knows nothing of your struggles with infertility?
I hope you and Barry are planning to do something awesome and indulgent soon. You deserve it.
(((((((BIG HUGS)))))))

[to_have_fun08]

Franny - I am so sorry. I know the feeling, with my 5th BFN cycle, my BIL GF came up pregnant. I was devastated, it felt like the final straw before a mental breakdown.


Franny and Katie - if you don't mind me asking.. what clnics are you going too? Do they have a pool of donor embryos? You can PM me if you don't want to put it out on the board. I know another gal that wants to adopt embryos and is having a hard time finding them without paying $10,000 with an agency which will require background checks and all that crap.

[katie99]

Franny - UGH, for the love of! Could the timing of that particular announcement have been any worse? I'm sorry that you had THAT kind of day.. It gets so hard to hear others happy news and not want to scream, and especially hearing it this week. all i know is that you WILL get there honey. I just wish that your time wasnt taking so darn long. I'm with Libby, you guys need something special after this past attempt. long weekend maybe? No mental breakdowns at work, ok? Sending you better day tomorrow vibes - xoxo

Chris - Sent you a PM.

Libby - How are you holding up? Hoping that you're alright and gearing up mentally for another round.. jeez this sure isnt easy on us. Thankfully we have each other and this forum! I know at times I had no one I thought could understand except you all and I'm so thankful for this oasis - xoxo

Still waiting for those immune results.. hope they come this week..

[Cyn22]

Franny - I am soooo sorry to hear about your BFN. As you know I just had another BFN earlier this month (that was my first FET) so I went to see a naturalist fertility doctor (Chinese) and he said I have a "Cold Uterus" no matter how good my embryos are (which to my doctor there the best they can get 5day & 6 day) they won't implant until my body is in line. I can not eat or drink anything cold and must drink Ginger and cinnamon tea's and must keep my feet covered with shoes and socks at all times. He said 2 months of this and I should be good to implant. I'm currently at 50%.. Because I carry the crohns disease he said I don't need to take any natural herb pills just the teas and nothing cold! (& keep my feet covered) not sure where you are at but he has really good success rates and I have been hearing alot more people talk about naturalist for all illnesses (like cancer & MS) maybe you can find one in your area that deals with fertility. Sorry again!

[katie99]

Well I received an email saying that my immunity results are in and that the RE wil call me on Monday to go over them and discuss the next gameplan. I'll update after I talk to him. Now we have to decide what to do if the results found nothing so I dont draw a blank when I get my quick phone call. I almost hate the fact that we waste 5 minutes on "how are you, and how have you been" type of social niceties. Its sort of like I am so determined to get all of my questions in that regular chit chat throws me off my game and if I dont have my questions written down, then i would only remember them 5 minutes AFTER getting off the phone, lol. Can you all think of any questions I should add to my list? I sure hope they find something so I wont feel like "well if everything is the same as last time, then why would it work THIS time, you know? Arrggh, this gets confusing!
I'm thinking of you girls - much love & luck to us all- xoxo

[LYD10]

Well I received an email saying that my immunity results are in and that the RE wil call me on Monday to go over them and discuss the next gameplan. I'll update after I talk to him. Now we have to decide what to do if the results found nothing so I dont draw a blank when I get my quick phone call. I almost hate the fact that we waste 5 minutes on "how are you, and how have you been" type of social niceties. Its sort of like I am so determined to get all of my questions in that regular chit chat throws me off my game and if I dont have my questions written down, then i would only remember them 5 minutes AFTER getting off the phone, lol. Can you all think of any questions I should add to my list? I sure hope they find something so I wont feel like "well if everything is the same as last time, then why would it work THIS time, you know? Arrggh, this gets confusing!
I'm thinking of you girls - much love & luck to us all- xoxo

Katie - if they dont find anything - i would try another clinic. Obviously this RE has tried everything he knows. I think unless there is something major discovered - it is time for a change. have you thought about trying one of those famous clinics - the colorado one for instance? CCRM? i know it is a hassle - but the monitoring is done remotely - so the actual travel would be only a few days.

[katie99]

Lyd - I guess you didnt see my siggy, lol. I stopped trying with my crappy old eggs years ago! Changing clinics isnt an option since when dealing with donor embies, where you adopt them is where you have to cycle. These are all FETs that we've been trying, but I sure do agree that CCRM is THE place for getting the most out of a cycle, especially for us 40 somethings. Thanks for taking the time to post - xoxo

[to_have_fun08]

hmmmm.. thinking for you Katie.. If nothing comes up I would certainly want to try the HCG wash. I haven't read up on this yet but from what some gals are saying it is promising. Did you do any type of steroid during your transfer? If not maybe add that in just for the heck of it. I take dexamonthsma (sp) which is a steroid starting 4 weeks before my transfer and keep taking it till week 8. this is standard protocol for everyone at my clinic. I would defiantly have the embies grow to day 5 but I think you are already doing that. Seriously, if nothing immune comes up, i don't think it is an implantation problem. Your body knows what to do cus you already have one baby. i think it is just plain bad luck. Good luck with your phone consult. I also hate talking to the Dr.s on the phone, i always forget what i want to ask. So then 5 minutes after i get off the phone, i am email him asking more questions.

[LYD10]

Lyd - I guess you didnt see my siggy, lol. I stopped trying with my crappy old eggs years ago! Changing clinics isnt an option since when dealing with donor embies, where you adopt them is where you have to cycle. These are all FETs that we've been trying, but I sure do agree that CCRM is THE place for getting the most out of a cycle, especially for us 40 somethings. Thanks for taking the time to post - xoxo

what! why the heck you cant ship your embies wherever you want to?! i didnt know about that "rule". that's ridiculous.

was that the same batch of embies that gave you your first baby? so, you know for a fact that those embies had one succcesful pregnancy already? just making sure the embies are good.

If they dont let you move the embies - what about having a consult with CCRM - paying them to look at your records and prescribe you a protocol - like if you were to cycle with them. Then you can take the protocol to your RE and tell him to follow it exactly. He seems like a nice guy - he should do it.

[to_have_fun08]

Katie - Keep us posted on your news today.. itsn't it weird in some ways you hope that there is something wrong. that way it is a reason why the last ones didn't work and something you can change to make it work next time.


AFM - Start E2v injections tonight. hopefully first of many IM shots.