Cycling In 2012 Board (formerly Fall/Winter 2011-2012)

[Waitingkay]

Okay ladies, If we are telling mum stories

When I was hospitalized a few days before the preterm last July with bad contractions, I needed some more pajamas since i was just in bed all day long trying to save the baby. My mum got some pajamas for me which I really thanked her for (DH was as miserable as me and sat right next to me the whole time). After our loss and before I was dismissed I her gave my laundry bag because we lived relatively near each other back then and I thought I could go get it later on. When we finally came there after 2 weeks, I noticed she pulled out the pajamas she bought for me and when I asked her about it she said "well, they wouldn't fit you now so I put them aside" (referring to my belly that i have lost). So insensitivity comes from all directions at times, I know my mum took our loss terribly and did try not to concentrate the drama around herself.

Ninde - how are you? how's the pineapple?

Blue - How are you feeling?

Tiger - How are you? It's been long since you wrote.

I am very tired all day long, started to panic every now and again about either one of the options we may face - either a twin pregnancy with our past, or a selective reduction All this in case the very little twin catches up.

[kynlee]

Madame- My Appt went well thanks for asking It started off with the Dr going through family medical history, bloodwork that I need etc, He was a very nice guy I guess I will meet different people from the practice since any of them can be delivering your Baby unless c-section then I would get my OB... Then he gave me packets to look over for downs etc then I got to ask all my questions I had a list long lol he said you are right on top of things like a walking computer lol I said yes I am Ms Google lol... So then he gave me my appt for the U/S and I said Oh I am not leaving hear till I hear the baby heart beat lol so he got the girl to let me peek

Christy- I already was released to OB I had my first appt yesterday As for your Mom I know people say things they end up regretting so sorry you had to listen to that last night, you would think people could try to think before they hurt someones feelings... When your dream comes true you will be able to give it back... Focus on your upcoming cycle everything will fall right into place for you and DH.

Ninde- How you feeling today?

Jayne- Awesome fert report Your embies are doing great

Lyd- Congrats on Ellie, Love the Name

We- I am sure you are super busy with those beautiful twins of yours and you still found time to check in on us you are too sweet... I am sure it is the best feeling in the world being a Mom Your Twins are absolutely adorable

AFM- I had my first OB appt yesterday went great Feel so much better now since I had the actually appt, didnt know what to expect... Since My OB is out for the month I had one of the other Dr's he was really nice went through everything with me I asked tons of questions and then I Had to Request a heartbeat check since he was going to wait till 12weeks, he new I wasnt going to give in to 12wks so he called the Nurse and they fit me in for a heartbeat check, which turned into a full u/s the nurse was so nice and said the Dr said heartbeat check but I wouldnt let you leave without you seeing your baby She gave me 5 new pics baby is measuring 2 days a head now and the nb was 173... I cried when I seen the baby moving around we woke the bean up and he/she got excited I saw the little arms and eyesockets jaw belly etc, it was a great moment I cant wait for 2 weeks to come so much changes as weeks past I also went for my 190 speeding ticket, the cop was asking a million questions I told him this is my 1st speeding ticket and I am 36 he said do I think I am better and I said no but I would think with a good drivers record I would be able to get it wiped off he then asked why I was speeding so I explained I missed IVF meds that I was suppose to take 2hrs prior and timing is everything so he dismissed me no fine Then I came home the mail came and I asked DH if there was anything good I been getting cards from friends and Family on the Baby he said no but I chose to look again and noticed we got a check for our refi on the house so I said We did get something good he said what I said Money to put aside for the babies room yesterday was a great day felt Lucky

[Sunshine1576]

Kynlee- I knew you were getting released to the obgyn! Yesterday was your first appointment and I'm glad it went well! Sounds like Thursday was the perfect day and the check in the mail from refinancing the house, yay you! Maybe you can elaborate on the interest rate you closed on? I'm glad you finally got the video Is sent you, Everlasting God is a powerful song!

Has anyone noticed that photobucket has changed their format, will have to play around with that. Anyway thank you for sharing your "mum stories" with me here, makes me realize I'm not alone in that iriate moment.

[Ninde]

Waiting kay: oh dear lord!!!! Im sure eyou were left looking at your mum with an open mouth! Sometimes practicality is over rated!! Pineapple is good but im back to dizzy and nauseous. Since I woke with this before er it isnt that. I have a sneaking suspicion its vertigo and im pretty sure I can do nothing about it In really am so sorry about your options. Is there a better option for you in all of this or are they all very tough? When is your next visit?

Kynlee: that's wonderful!! You must be so relieved and excited?

Christy: I hope you didnt think i was jumping on the bandwagon with the mum stories x You are such a kind person so in sensitivity hurts even more I think.

Afm: oh the dizziness!! Meant to tell you - remember my client who has had 4 miscarriages? I saw her about 10 days ago and she had seen her consultant who said she may have to consider ivf with donor eggs if another pregnancy ends in m/c. She wasnt nearly ready to hear that at this stage and hasn't even had an amh done yet although her fsh is normal. However I fou d it slightly more difficult while pumped up on ivf drugs to have her explain that ivf would mean there was something wrong with her!!!!

Ninde

[Sunshine1576]

Ninde- No I don't think that, this is the "safe" place we come to vent whenever we need to.

[Madame X]

Lyd – Congrats on your new addition to the family!

Kynlee – Your OB app sounded great! Thanks for the info. When I called to schedule my app I told the nurse that my RE said I should have an u/s at 10 weeks, (which is the truth too) and they were totally cool with it. Did they do a trans vaginal or on the belly?

Ninde – How are you feeling? Enjoying your time off?

Blue – Are you having a second beta?

We – Glad to hear everyone is doing well!

Jayne – How are your embies doing? Was a decision made if you will be doing a 3 or 5 day transfer?

Sunshine – Sorry about what happened with you mom. It’s hard, I know. No one understands what we go through, how we feel…. It’s tough.

AFM – My spa weekend has arrived! I am just finishing up packing for Hershey and will be heading out in the morning. My DH is trying to kick me out earlier than needed. We have hard wood floors and he is re-finishing them upstairs. The last room (which will be the nursery) is cleared out, stained, and ready to be varnished, but I can’t be around the polyurethane. He wants to get 2 coats down while I am gone for the weekend. I have my OB app on Monday, of course I am again nervous, hoping everything is still going well! And once I find out it is I am ready to spill the beans to my close friends and family. It’s hard keeping it in, my friends are getting together tonight and it is starting to look obvious me not have a glass of wine here or there. I will be ten weeks tomorrow and then one hopefully one more reassurance on Monday

[jayne321]

Dys~ You're so close to your first ultrasound. I bet you are counting the days.

Sunshine~ I'm sorry about your mom's comments. Sometimes the people we love the most can say the most hurtful things. Hang in there.

Ninde~ I don't think I realized that your mom had passed as well. What did she pass from? I'm sorry you're dizzy. That is an awful feeling. I'm thinking of you.

Waitingkay~ I feel for your position on having the twins. It makes me realize that maybe we should be careful on the number of embryos we transfer. I think I would try to carry twins but if I got pregnant with triplets, we would probably selective abort since I also have a hx of premature labor. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it. I hope everything works out for you.

Kynlee~ I would have begged for an u/s too. The heartbeat is so reassuring.

Madame~ enjoy your spa weekend. Yes, the skipping the glass of wine will be a true teller if I get pregnant. I love my wine and will miss it dearly. It's funny though because I think God helped me out when I was pregnant with my son because wine tasted totally spoiled when I was pregnant. Funny huh?

AFM~ just got another call. My embies are doing so well. Makes me want to cry to even write that. They want to do a 5dt since I still have 6 that are going strong. I have only had one or two doing well on day 3 in the past. They are telling me they want to inject my uterus with HCG before the transfer because it may help my uterus be a better host? Has anyone ever heard of that?

[Ninde]

Madam x: thank you I am, tomorrow im hoping to get some work done on some new classes once my world stops spinning!! Maybe you can tell your friends you are detoxifying? Will you let us know how Monday goes?

Jayne: my mum died nearly 4 years ago. She literally dropped dead from an aneurism on my birthday. What was odd was that i was born at 7.10pm and my twin sister at 7.17pm and she was pronounced dead at 7.30pm - it felt like she held on til after our birth time - i know it was probably coincidental but it was so strange. I know the first year is extremely tough and going through ivf so shortly after your own beloved mum's death must be really tough x Your embryos sound really fantastic!!!

Ninde

[annashope]

Christy

I am so sorry about your mom being so insensitive but I can totally understand. As Brmommy said it seems people closest to us can be so insensitive. For me the worst was my own mom telling me that clearly I didn't want a baby bad enough because I wasn't willing to cheat on my husband (our IF is MF) it hurt so bad. I love my husband and could never imagine hurting him like that. Before I knew it she got my aunt to call me and say the same thing....it was awful!!! After 3 years of trying and failing having someone be that insensitive was so rough but I honestly think people just don't get it unless they live through it. After I m/c DH and I were so devastated but my brother kept telling me to shake it off and that it could be worse but when 6 months later his own wife miscarried he called me and apologized for how insensitive he had been to us and said that he never imagined that and miscarriage caused this much grief and pain. I wish for all of our sake people could be more sensitive but....they are not and as blueeyedreemer said: that is why we have each other Its amazing that even though we have baby Paul and this miraculous baby on the way...I could never forget our difficult and painful journey and am forever grateful for the miracles we were finally given. You will be on this side of it soon sweety...just hang in there

Lyd congrats on your baby girl

Ninde I get virtego too sometimes and it is terrible...hope you feel better soon

Blue congrats on the great beta

Sorry girls that I don't check in more often but I do read all the time and celebrate with each of you as you get good news. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I am starting to feel a bit more tired now but otherwise still so very busy. We bought a minivan this week and it is top of the line and beautiful...lol and I still can't believe we will have little ones to put in it...its all like a dream. I used to drive behind mom's with minivans and feel a bit sad like it was never gonna be me but somehow now I am looking at this car and able to imagine taking trips with these little boys and its surreal. ( I hope my sharing this does not hurt anyone)

[Sunshine1576]

Patricia- Wow how did we miss reading all your post from earlier this morning?! I must of had only 2 minutes before I headed out to work when I quickly checked in. But I wanted to add I know it must be hard to accept things around you with the client who had all the miscarriages. Wow it must of felt like a slap in the face when she said she felt IVF would mean she would have to accept that something is wrong with her! People can say the most ignorant things but she needs time to realize ultimately it shouldn't matter as long as we find a way to make our dream happen! She needs to grasp that IVF doesn't mean something is wrong with her, IVF is an alternative in bringing home her rainbow baby. We know she didn't mean any hardship but it's hard to not take it personal at the same time. Truth is they have NO idea how sensitive we can be especially when we're pumped up on hormones, but it sounds like she has alot to work out with her therapist first and this client could be considered a conflict of interest if she becomes more then you can possibly tolerate. Keep us posted on what you decide to do with her.X

Annashope- Thank you for your encouraging words, I look forward to being a mom someday and I know throwing in the towel isn't going to get me anywhere. People can be insensitive, even mothers at times but I know they want only the best for us. I get that, but it was hard when I told her two years ago I was pregnant when my brother and his wife were also expecting at the same time. When I gave her a card on Mother's Day and a sonograph pix inside she had no idea what the picture represented. She was like what is this in my card? When we finally told her she had no look of excitement on her face. I thought maybe it was overwhelming for her with two babies coming into her world at the same time. My parents were divorced when I turned 10 and all I remember was telling the attorney who I preferred to live with and I knew I couldn't be separated from my brothers. Long story short when she comes to visit any of us, which is not often she tries to make up for the time she missed by buying us stuff. My middle tells me it's how she expresses her love for us, but all I really need is someone I can have a normal conversation with and it's quite disturbing that mine just gets me upset like that. Anyway like I told Patricia this board is a great place to vent, and it's reassuring to know my former cycle buddies care enough to check in on us. Thank you for being there Anna, it means the world to me!

Jayne- This has been a board full of blessings and I pray this will be your and Patricia's turn.

MadameX- The spa sounds delicious enough to eat lol might be something worth trying with dh whch just gave me an idea!
Your dh is hard at work with the floors isn't he, so motivated to getting everything ready! I will be following up with your ultrasound on Monday, I know you cannot wait but enjoy your spa weekend for now!


AFM: TMI but thought I was going to die! I bd with my dearest Wednesday night and then mowed the grass yesterday, but I had so much pain last night thought UTI but then I saw lots of blood when I peed. Dr was perplexed that he didn't see any nitrate (which is common for UTI) but said wbc count was high and lots of plalelets in blood. He also checked for kidney stone but I had no backpain which is common for that. He decided to treat it as a UTI.. prescribed me an antibiotic and something to make me feel so good I didn't think I was going to make it home! lol

[blueeyedreamer]

Quick check in, I'm pooped! My second beta is tomorrow morning. If all is good then we will schedule a u/s for 2 weeks later.

Patricia- I'm so sorry about your mom. That's a terrible way to celebrate a birthday. How are you feeling? Are you able to do anything for the vertigo? Make sure you are getting enough fluids.

Sunshine- Total bummer on your side effect! I hope the antibiotics help. I have interstitial cystitis which causes pain and causes blood cells to be in the blood, but I've never peed blood. It mimics a UTI except it's not an infection. Did they give you the med that numbs the pain? It makes your urine orange!

Jayne- Congrats on your embies!

Madame- Enjoy the spa weekend! Sounds so exciting. I too would want to eat it all!

AFM- I have been slowly been increasing my exercise. I have been going on slow long walks and today stepped it up. I went to the track and did 6 laps which is 1.5 miles. I did alternating walking and very light jogging. I stopped when I got tired. It actually helped my cramps ease up and it felt good. The biggest problem is that my tatas hurt even with my best sport bra and my hips hurt from the progesterone shots.

I got a massage today which was delightful. Have a nice weekend!

[Sunshine1576]

Blue- Yeppers my pee is now orange, but no pain so I'll stay on the med for the next 5 days.

[Ninde]

Christie: yes, being her therapist has been very tough particularly as im what's known as a client centered therapist and part ofmy way of working is complete empathy so i feel her pain as if its my own through trying to really understand emotionally what's going on for her. If I get pregnant I may have to stop working with her because it may be too much. I can work through my own irritation at her insensitivity with my case supervisor but I couldnt work with her envy or rage if my ivf is successful - it wouldn't be right for the baby. Your pain sounds awful. I get kidney stones which are excruciating and although its usually back pain it can feel reaaly bad in the side or low tummy either. However - given what you said about your very heavy bleeding at af in wonder should they check your ovaries? Cysts can give horrible horrible pain.

Anna: lovely to hear from you what do you do for the vertigo?

Nicole: take it easy woman!!! Think of your poor tatas (I have never heard that word before)!!!!!!

Afm: no idea how but I've lost three pounds this week!!! How is it when i work out and watch my food I cant do that?!!

Ninde

[Sunshine1576]

Ninde- Isn't it crazy how words can mean so many things...Did you know you can surf online and purchase your own bumper sticker "Save the Tatas" for Breast Cancer Awareness? Oh and btw hushpuppies are actually pretty good but only if you like seasoned cornbread.
How often does the client come for consultation? I know you want to help her but you cannot get involved too much to the point you are bringing her troubles home with you.x Had pain in my lower abdomen last night like something was jabbing me and when I went to pee alot of discharge with burning irritation I was in tears. Took another round of meds and slept 10 hrs. Feeling better this morning, thank god. But I will schedule a yearly exam with my dreaded obgyn soon and see if they can check me for cyst, I just don't feel I belong at the obgyn since I'm not pregnant. Maybe scheduling the earliest appt could help me shield myself from the "oops I cannot believe I"m pregnant" ladies. Honestly the last time I was there someone's grandfather sitting out in the waiting room asked me how far along I was, I was so shocked I honestly couldn't answer him! Then he went on and told me he's about to find out his grandbaby's gender. Did not stay in that chair long after that but walked up to the counter to tell them I had to be back to work in 15 minutes and then sat in the hallway in a comfy recliner and avoided contact with that family. So that explains why I haven't been back to the obgyn since 1/2011. But going these things is what makes us stronger IF we can bring ourselves to knowing that in the end our rainbow babies are homing home. xoxo Christy

[blueeyedreamer]

137 is my new beta. Will go back Monday for a 3rd test. Didn't double but they said its still ok.