Cycling In 2012 Board (formerly Fall/Winter 2011-2012)

[Ninde]

Hi ladies

Jayne: I can totally understand about your disappointments and how you will worry until your baby is in your arms. I cant answer about your progesterone because its not really done here.

Lyd: thank you. How are you and the little one?

Maria: hello how are you?

Kay: this just gets harder and harder doesn't it? I think what's so difficult sometimes with the medical profession is they can be so definitive and then totally change their view and its impossible then to know where you stand. Have you managed to schedule the appointment with the other specialist. And did you manage to sleep?

Kynlee: again, im sorry but I cant help on the progesterone but i know that 12 weeks is when generally the shots stop. Have you expressed our concern to your re?

LauraN: thank you and im so sorry pu are in the same position with your bfn but im glad you have good quality froaties. In terms of the acupuncture, im sorry you hate needles but rest assured acupuncture is very different. Its not like injections at all and ill bet if you can tolerate it they can even give you an acupuncture point for your fear. I hope it goes so well.

Pocos: my cycle was longer after my bfn in april and sort of got back to normal and then went out again - like you im normally 28 days. There isnt any possibility you could be pregnant naturally like anna was is there?

Nicole: how is your migraine?

Afm: I was back working with my own clients today. It actually went well and we did really good work. My heart was helped a little because each worked through some real pain and that helped me

Ninde

[Sunshine1576]

Sorry haven't been posting a whole lot but I've certainly been reading and praying everyday.

WaitingKay- Sounds like your doctor is showing empathy to how you are feeling, which helps some but at the same time it's difficult to make a decision like this on your very own so I'm glad you are seeking another specialist for more insight in what to do. I can understand why you feel that way too, but also remember if it puts you or the twin in danger nobody is holding judgement, this is ultimately your and dh's decison to make. Please keep us posted with everything and well keep on praying together. God perform miracles everyday. X

Jayne- I'm praying for this beta's doubling time! Listening or reading others' thoughts have taught me progesterone shots may be the way I go with the next IVF. I feel at times the meds are toxic too but anything to help support the inital pregnancy is crucial and those messy pessies don't totally do the job in my opinion. Anyway here's to another good beta tomorrow!

Ninde- I'm glad your clinicals are helping you work through this, helping others can be rewarding and therapeutic but you certainly have a gift in this field. No my friend had to drive back to AL earlier then expected since she has to testify for her sister in court on Friday over her BIL's drug abuse. I can't help but think some people out there have seriously worse problems then us. It doesn't make our troubles neccessary better, I know it's not always healthy to compare ourselves to others but I do know still we have alot to be thankful for.

Kynlee- It was so good to hear from you today, I loved your u/s picture! I'm starting to see the baby's sweet face and that in itself is truly a blessing. Yes I agree it's tough to stop worrying but we have much comfort in knowing this is all in God's hands.

Leora- Is it just me or have you been a little quiet around here?

Nicole- So the doctor thinks endo is back, my SIL had a severe case and went through two surgeries before she gave birth to a healthy son. Anything we can do to prepare ourselves for a healthy pregnancy.

Maria- How are you doing with the girls?

AFM: Dh said he calling tomorrow afternoon to reapply for our IVF loan, but I know we can apply once every 30 days and don't know if the "truck payoff" will hit the credit burreu this soon...We can only see but I'm thinking I might have better luck in Las Vegas...Anyone want to come with me?

[WeHaveHope]

Hi dear friends,

Hope everyone is doing well.

Kay-you have been constantly on my mind. Please know that I am praying for you.

Blue-keeing you in my prayers.

Sunshine-I pray that you are able to start another cycle soon.

Ninde-keeping you in my prayers as well. When is your appt?

Pocos-keeping you in my prayers also. Will you be starting another cycle soon?

For those that asked how we are doing, we are doing well. The girls are changing everyday. It's amazing how much they have grown and changed in three short weeks. Anna is drinking 3oz and Katerina is up to 2 to 2 1/2 oz. breastfeeding both has been a challenge. I am pumping as much as i can. I was very disapointed initialy but i know that what is important is that they healthy and that they grow and gain weight. They are waking up ever 2 1/2 hours or so to feed so we are not really getting much sleep these days. But no complaints here, we are just delighted to have them everyday. We thank God everyday for our two miracles. Our two little munchkins are more than we could have ever asked for. Having the twins has not been without it's challenges, the other day I ventured out of the house with the girls and it took me 2 hours to get out of the house. And when they both scream because they are hungry, oh my!!! But we are so in love and feel so blessed. Well I have to go. Must try to get some rest when they are sleeping.

Sending everyone my love...

[blueeyedreamer]

Today has been hard. The morning was fine but then I got really tired. Came home and took a nap only to have a nightmare. I'm very sad today. I want this to be over. I want the cramps to stop. My legs feel funny and my foot is numb. Damn MS. The migraine is over but I still have a headache. It's just so hard.

[Ninde]

Christy: you are right, most people have problems and some are very difficult. Our fertilit ones are one set, others like your friends family are addiction, others have illness, depression, eating issues - tne whole range. I dont feel any are better or worse because for me its always how the person feels rather than ranking the problem on some non-existant ranking system. And I think the old add age that if we could go into a room and swap our problems for someone else's we probably wouldn't - our problems are awfully hard but we know them. Its had dtrying to find the smallest happiness at times but im now trying to let them unfold around me and take advantage of them when I see them because it doesn't change our pain but why not have a moment of so something good if its there?

Maria: its so lovely to hear about the girls and thanks for asking, appt is next thurs

Nicole: im so, so sorry. The physical pain you are experiencing is just awful. And your sadness sounds just crushing. I wish I could help because I know its a very lonely and dark place. It doesn't do anything as such but im really thinking about you x

Patricia/Ninde

[WeHaveHope]

Kynlee-I replied to your PM. Wishing you are the best.

[Sunshine1576]

Maria being that you live in FL also I'm sending you a question related to BCBS.

[jayne321]

Kay~ I am thinking of you often and I hope you find peace with your decision whatever that may be for you. It is very difficult and I hope I don't find myself in the same position. My OHSS is starting to turn the corner (which scares me a little). I hope my hcg isn't dropping. When is your next appt?

tohavefun~ we did a 5dt with 3 embryos. Did you do the HCG injection into the uterus before transfer?

Kynlee~ I know you are afraid to stop the progesterone but it must be nice to step away from needles. You're almost out of 1st trimester, right?

Maria~ on my goodness. I loved your stories about the girls. The 2 hour part made me laugh. Babies change your life. I can't imagaine 2 at a time.

LaurenN~ Good luck with the acupunture. I did that with my first cycle. It was always hard for me to sit there and relax. Obviously, I probably needed it! I'm glad you have 8 frozen embryos that you can turn to when you're ready.

Pocos~ no chance you could be pregnant, right?

Pauleen~ thanks

Ninde~ I think of you often. How are you doing?

Sunshine~ I have done the oral/suppository combo with my other two cycles and I think I'm liking the shots better. I was so sick of the mess.

Nicole~ my heart sunk when I read your post. I am so sorry. You are a very strong woman and I want you to know I'm thinking of you.

AFM~ beta number 2 is pending. Ugh. Let me count the seconds until I get the results. 1, 2, 3, ....

[WeHaveHope]

Jayne-keeping everything crossed and saying list of prayers for a great 2nd Beta.

I've posted a new picture of the girls on the PAT Board. It's amazing how much they have grown and changed in the short three weeks.

[Pocos]

Ninde – Thanks for replying – my period arrived today! I was going to test today but then aunt flow arrived ☹. I am glad you are feeling better.

Sunshine – I am jumping in for Las Vegas LOL

WeHaveHope – Please please continue to pray for us – I will be starting lupron in September 26. I really hope this cycle works! Thanks for checking on us even though you are so busy with your munchkins ☺ Wow they grew a lot!

Nicole – I am so sorry you are sad. I hope you feel better. We are here for you whenever you need. Praying for you.

Jayne – My period arrived today. I am sad but happy at the same time because I will be able to start another cycle. I am praying for a perfect second beta for you!!

AFM – My period arrived today. I postponed my appointment to 9/18 because my boss wont be here so I can take my time with the RE. I should start lupron on 9/26.
I am very anxious, cant stop thinking about getting pregnant. I go to bed thinking about it and wake up thinking about it. I wonder if that is normal… I want this next cycle to work so bad.

[jayne321]

Beta 627. I can't believe it.

When we were doing our donor cycle (right after my mom passed), I felt like she was walking around with me saying that I didn't need donor eggs. It freaked me out a bit. We had already started the process and paid the money so we went ahead. The doctor gave us a 80% chance that it would work and I desperately wanted a sibling for our DS. Well, there were no embryos on day 2 and they canceled the cycle. I felt this huge relief. So we decided to try one more time with my eggs. Right after my RE transferred our embryos this time, he had tears in his eyes and said I think your mom was here with us. He later told me that he is not a religious person but felt my mom's spirit very strongly. When I saw my positive HPT (I wasn't even thinking about my mom) and I honestly felt like she gave both of my shoulders a big hug. Now this is all crazy (I'm not religious either) but I thought I would share.

I realize we have a very long journey ahead but I'm very happy so far and I'm pretty sure my mom had something to do with it.

[Ninde]

Jayne: congratulations: clearly your mum is with you and was with you and she must be so pleased for you x

Pocos: I think the whole ivf process utterly takes over our lives. Our hopes and dreams are wrapped up in it. You are keen to get going again and its ok to allow yourself obsess a bit. And then try to focus on other things, not because you there is anything wrong but because you will drive yourself craz :

Afm: had a different day today. As you know I work as a psychotherapist and one of my roles is working with an organization around suicide prevention. We had our annual fundraiser today which is a big charity lunch and I was doing some singing just as something a little different. It went well and its lovely to be part of something that does such good work. And now im sad and wishing this had been a bfp. So I think i need to bring some of my energy inwards and try to just be ok.

Ninde

[kynlee]

We- TY I needed the reassurance

Jayne - Awesome Beta girl and your Mom is right there with you

Christy- Thanks for being such a great friend to me I am glad I could call you and vent today

Ninde- praying for you , I know how hard it is... Stay positive, You have been such a Great friend to all of us here and we will be here for you when you start your next cycle... Thinking of you

Blue- thinking of you hope you are ok...

[blueeyedreamer]

Jayne! Wonderful beta. Congrats.

Patricia, your event sounds nice. I'm sure singing helped bring some good feelings. I'm sorry you have to be sad to.

AFM, had my beta drawn. It's down to 15.7. I finally started bleeding. Last night was rough. Today has been better. It sucked to be in the elevator heading to my clinic with one woman 8 months pg and a couple with a 7 day old baby girl. I couldn't get out fast enough.

[Sunshine1576]

CAN I SCREAM NOW? I had the worse day with the pg co-worker and I know she's holding a grudge for what happened yesterday. My boss had a sitdown talk with her yesterday, asked her what happened Wed night why the coworker asked me if I could find someone to work the remaining part of her shift at 6:15p and we close at 9 the other night. She said it was all related to her boyfriend "missing in action" and family drama going on. In the last 6 months, my boss has 8 management memos on this coworker on her attitude and willingness to work productively with her peers, but still my boss hasn't given her a written warning. Grrrrr a part of me feels like she has been given way too many chances already....

Today pg coworker was in her own little world and barely looked up to speak to anyone including the customers. At one point while I was ringing someone up I called her name out twice and she acted like she couldn't hear me so I had to leave the cashwrap and walk over to her (not far literally 10 feet away) and say you know you are the greeter this hour don't you? She stopped what she was doing and took care of the customers...The next hour while I was on the door (we take turns every hour) I tried to pass off a customer because we don't take customers while we're the ambassador, we solely greet them and make them feel welcomed and pass them off to our team members. So while I was on the door greeting I asked her do you have a customer (she saw the customer only a few feet from me looking at some jeans). She batted her eyes at me and said well I guess I do now!!! I wanted to strangle her and her attitude. It's bad enough that this will be my 3rd complaint on the coworker (the other 5 memos are from other managers) and if I do talk to my boss about what happened today I know she'll have me write up another memo to manager and file it for future reference. But here is the thing my boss is very slow in resolving issues like this... I think it all falls back on feeling sorry for the pg coworker-- so it's not going to do me a bit of good to tell her, because I'll just end up writing the memo and she'll use it on her next meeting and the coworker will resent me all over again. But yesterday at the meeting she was told she has two choices to either get her act together or get a written warning and be terminated. I think she needs to realize her hardass is not going to make it if she keeps behaving this way to our customers. As for her pregnancy the girls think she could let me adopt the baby and everyone has a happy ending, but I know my husband would never go for it. Ugh why can't time stand still, I placed my IVF contract on the kitchen bar dated back from March 2012 and I'm hoping this reminds us we have time sensitive material. I hate it that 6 months has already flown by and it sseems like we've procrastinated long enough. This year will be completely gone if we keep waiting, I know I stating the obvious but you don't realize how time flies when you work all the time and I don't want my job ever coming before a family and I turn around a find myself wondering why did I let this get away?