Cycling In 2012 Board (formerly Fall/Winter 2011-2012)

[Sunshine1576]

Maria, Thank you we are excited to finally feel we are moving forward. Dh is worried about the financial part still but I told him last night we cannot predict where we'll be in a year from now. We'll budget everything and make this work. He agreed with me... another year of waiting wouldn't really benefit us, we never seemed to have an advantage point of being financially better off by waiting, yep IVF is expensive no matter how you look at it. Yet once you find a way to break it down into monthly payments it's a little more attainable. It's really more about how you make it work for you WITH alot of prayers along the way. How are those beautiful angels doing?

Patricia, It sounds like there are so many variables to figure it all out but you have beautiful embryos so it couldn't be the egg or sperm quality. It's now pinpointed on what they can do to improve implantation and laproscopy does provide a better environment and check for endometriosis. It can only help to get tested and see but as for age don't let that stop you and as for loans they are out there to break these cost down, of course I totally understand you are researching everything first.

Nicole, I hope the dogs stop barking and it rains so the road work will end and you can get some rest. X

Kynlee, so true facebook is a convenient tool, once I tried to surf this forum from my phone and it took 5 minutes to pull up this page, facebook seems easier to manage. Yes ma'am several ladies who will be joining me this fall, yet I'm glad to know we've made soooo many friends along the way, friends who have taught us so much. I still remember the thread I started back in 2010 when you and I were going through our very first IVF together and I was so livid when the first cycle didn't work thinking I'm not cut out for IVF, but we certainly got stronger along the way didn't we and you told me to keep my chin up and maintain faith, you taught me it's all in His timing. I'm so glad He brought us together to share this journey.

AFM: I told the girls at work last night only because I'll need to work mostly late shifts to make the RE appointments. My boss asked me if this is what I really want, absolutely but right now I'm feeling more relieved we got approved for the loan, I never thought that would ever happen making our dreams possible. I even had tried to accept things for the way they are but my heart ache so much and felt it cannot be over yet, so thank you ladies for being there with so much support AND not letting me give up. I want more then anything to bring home that rainbow baby and here is my big chance!

[Ninde]

Hi ladies, checked with hospital and they said hysteroscopy and endometrial scrape would be done in downing and early swimming stage of cycle. I thought that the scrape would be done then but I thought I would need another normal monthly cycle after hysteroscopy. Does anyone know if it's normal to do it in the actual if cycle?

A very confused ninde !!

[WeHaveHope]

Ninde-I recall having mine at the end of November while on BCP and having my transfer on December 30th. Not sure if this information helps. I dud bit have to have AF come.

[Pocos]

Sunshine – I am so happy for you! Now we just have to wait ☺ oh I am from Brazil.

Ninde – that voice is amazing! Thank you sooo much again!

AFM- I went to my family doctor today for my annual check up but I ended up crying there, it was embarrassing. He thought I was too stressed and prescrived lexapro for 15 days. He said its ok to take with the IVF medications and even during pregnancy? Anyone here ever took Lexapro? I didn’t want to take these type of medication but I am feeling so anxious and stressed it may be better to take it and try to enjoy life again. I am so afraid of this next cycle and having another BFN.. ☹

[Sunshine1576]

Pocos- Brazil is so cool. One of my good friends back in Georgia (where I resided before we moved to Florida) was born in Brazil, her parents were missionaries over there. I'm gathering you are now in the U.S. brushing up on some English classwork? About the meds for anxiety I don't know how they react with fertility treatment, but I do know there are moments when I feel uncertain about all this too. Like tonight dh said what is the baby going to financially provide for us, I know he was just kidding but I deep down I feel so guilty when he talks like that. He said it's going to be another mouth to feed, and that set me off. I told him well we got approved for the loan so we have options, I never expected to even find a way... I asked him do you still want to go through this and he paused for a second and said I thought we had already decided that we are doing this, I said well if it's going to make me feel guilty then we shouldn't and then he said well if we don't then I feel guilty because we both know it's me who has the sperm issue. I said you must stop beating yourself up it's driving me insane! As we were shopping for groceries at Walmart, seriously I couldn't make decisions tonight on selecting stuff we needed to get. Maybe I had so much on my little mind, but I had no motivation to shop. I was so distracted, I didn't tell dh this but last night I had a nightmare that we were struggling to make ends meet. He has me contantly worrying about next year, I know that's all he ever thinks about. He even told me he hopes we have a baby so it will give him something different to worry and obsess over. I think I'm having a panic attack and I haven't even signed the paperwork! I keep thinking what is taking so long for the clinic to email me the paperwork, I need to sign it and stop obsessing. Tonight at Walmart I walked by three babies and it helped me finally decide there is no backing out. I have to go through with this, but I need constant reassurance that we are making the right decision. Why does this have to be so hard? Sorry for the rambling and venting tonight worked up way too much! So I'm about to now have a little talk with dh. He needs to stop obsessing so I can be calm too.

[blueeyedreamer]

Patricia, I had my hysteroscopy and polyp removal in my ivf cycle. I started stimming the week after the procedure. I think it is fine if you have time to let the lining build back up. Yes, I too have read and been told that roughing up the endometrium can help improve chances. I also do baby aspirin.

Not too much to say nought. Still dealing with headaches and migraines daily right now. I even had a little increase in spotting. I have constant light brown on the tissue but today needed to add protection. I'll be happy when this all calms down and stops.

[Pocos]

Sunshine – Brazil is great, laid back people. I used to work for the government there, and I had 30 day vacations, here I have only 10 vacation days!! I also had bonus paid vacation, 3 months of vacation paid. Maternity leave is 6 months. But there is a lot of violence, crimes, and also corrupt politicians.
Yes, I am back in college to improve my English skills, right now I am taking math classes (algebra). It will be nice to have a college degree from the US.
Don’t feel sorry for venting. I love this board too, you guys are the only ones that understand what infertility is like. I hate to see pregnant women and babies, they just remind me of what I don’t have. All my friends are pregnant or have babie, its so hard on me.
It is normal to feel the way we feel, but I have a problem with anxiety since I was little. I have always been like this. When I had to do my thesis presentation in Brazil, I couldn’t sleep. After the stressful situation is over, I am ok again. With infertility, I don’t know when the baby will come, so this makes me more and more anxious and stressed. I just hate it, but what can I do? My mother is like that too, when she wants something it has be be now. Anxiety really gets me when I am under stress.
I get panic attacks when someone ask “when are u having a baby?” seriously, I just want to run away and cry. I start sweating and shaking.
Next week I am seeing the RE to go over the results of our genetic tests, I will try to wait until then to start taking the Lexapro. I want to ask the RE before starting using it. My family doctor said that it is fine, that even pregnant women can use it, but I want to make sure.
Don’t be mad at your hubby, all these feelings are normal. I am so obsessed with babies, ivf, adoption, that’s all I look up in the internet all day long.
I am not really looking forward for the next cycle (oct). I am ok with the shots, ER, etc, I can deal with that. I just cant deal with another BFN. Seriously, how can we prepare for that?? We put so much hope and then… I was so positive before and I think that was the problem. With my previous attempts I wasn’t so hopeful so I was ok after the BFNs.
I have been listening to a relaxation track that Ninde sent me and it has been very helpful, it helps me fall asleep faster. Also, I started to focus at work too. Maybe you can ask Ninde to send it to you too, you can listen to it with your DH before you go to bed. Take care.

Nicole - I hope you feel better.

[Sunshine1576]

Pocos- Where are you attending school in the U.S.? My husband is a History/Political Science professor currently working at a local college here who has been given one final year, there have been so many job cutbacks down here lately. Kind of ironic with a high unemloyment rate and people going back to school--this would make one think the last thing a college would do is cutback on jobs too, but we will see how this all plays out. He plans on meeting with the college president in December for his personal evaluation, they told him he would be given no evaulation but he's scheduling one anyway.
I hope you like your RE...and the genetic test come back with flying colors. As for anxiety, definately speak to your RE doctor to make sure it won't countereact with IVF treatment. This board has been great, and I'm glad we are here to support each other along the way. I really think this group will keep us from losing our minds and sanity, just keep in mind we're never alone in this journey. xx

[jayne321]

Nicole~ your migraines sound awful. I've only had a few in my life and I seriously want to die from the pain. I get a dull headache from the progesterone and that is bad enough. Is there a medicine that works well for you?

Chris~ Thanks for adding me to facebook. I like having the additional support. I do miss the signatures over there. It's hard to know everyone's story. Are you the Chris that your RE injected HCG before transfer?

Ninde~ the story about your sister having an ovary removed without your parent's consent is awful. It seems like your WTF meeting went pretty well. I think the scape is a good idea.

Julia~ I have missed you. You were my cycling buddy a long time ago. It's funny how cycling with someone makes you remember them even more. I see your ticker. That is awesome. Thinking of you.

Sunshine~ Disneyland was great. We really had a fun day. I can see why you're counting down until you can cycle. You have waited a long time for this.

Pocos~ I am sorry that you're having a rough time. It is very understandable. IVF is depressing enough and you have other things going on as well. I think it's a good idea to ask your RE first about the lexapro. Does exercise help your anxiety?

AFM~ just counting the days until my u/s. It's not until I'm 7 weeks. I could probably call and go in earlier but I kind of want to wait because by 7 weeks, there is no question that there should be a heartbeat. I'm nauseated at times but nothing significant. I'm hoping that everything is OK.

[Ninde]

Evening ladies

Nicole : how are you feeling physically?

Christy: this never seems to get easier does it. How was the conversation with your Dh go?

Pocos: how are you doing?

Jayne: I'm really crossing everything for your scan and wishing you the right amount of heart beats that is/are right fir you and your body

Afm : really struggling the last few days with the concept of having to face the reality of a future without children and all that will mean. I have to work really hard to use all of my supports. It's absolutely true that it's no point trying to find supports when you are low because it's then too hard to find the motivation.

Ninde

[blueeyedreamer]

Ninde- I feel like crap. Still dealing with the headaches. Every day. I've had some left side pelvic pain and I gained 2 pounds. I'm mentally feeling better. Thank you for asking.

Jayne, I use Vicodin for the pain. It works but I'm careful not to take it too much. I don't want rebound headaches.

[WeHaveHope]

Ninde-I'm so sorry you are feeling down. You know that I am hee for you. Sending you a gigantic hug.

Blue-I'm so sorry about your migraines. You know what works for me, Maxalt. I only take it if really necessary nut it works within 15 min. Also, you wouldn't be able to use it during pregnancy but during that time I used Fiorecet. Not as effective but it did it's job. Also, my neurologist suggested really watching my diet and using ice on my temples, using menthol on myntrmples and forehead, laying in a quiet dark place, massaging my tole area. I did all these things and was able to stop using all medications fir migraines. I really hope you feel better soon. Sending you s gigantic hug as well.

Pocos-I just read your message and replied.

[Waitingkay]

Dear everyone,
Sorry for being MIA, I'm still in the hospital since last Monday. The severe pains that I had in my left ovary persevered and I had a laparoscopy for it on Friday. It turned out it wasn't just the cysts, it was an actual torsion. The pain i had the 2 days prior to the surgery were absolutely excruciating.
Both twins are doing great, it seems that each and every doctor is now against me doing a cerclage since they don't think my cervix had anything to do with our late loss. Some docs are now warning us that a reduction can end up in us not only losing both right now, but potentially losing the one surviving twin during a much later week. It seems more and more likely that we will try and keep both, although the thought of it makes me feel like I'm being vain which causes me great anxiety every afternoon and evening and I'm afraid of how the next 5 months will look like. We will probably have the NT scan this week and take things one day at a time.
I really apologize for not reading through all your mails, I'm not even allowed to sit for too long right now so I just chose to address everybody at once. I'm thinking of all of you with so much warmth and gratitude and I'm sure that the minute I'm settled home on a complete bed rest, i'll find the way to write more often - we are intending to order some bed rest stuff, if any of you has good suggestions I'd be so happy to hear about what stuff can make the next 5 months in bed easier, in terms of things to do, ways to type without sitting, and everything else which comes to mind. I'll catch up with personals soon, I guess they will keep me here for at least a couple of days more, s it seems.

Love and hugs,
Kay

[jayne321]

Ninde~ Thank you for your kind wishes especially at a time when I know you're struggling. You have such a big heart and I'm really hoping your next cycle is the magic one for you. There are certain people that I feel like I connect to and you are one of them. I am really hoping the best for you.

Nicole~ Ugh ugh ugh. Damn migraines. You deserve a break. I can understand how you just want your body back. Beta hell is the worst especially when it's not a happy story at the end. It drags things out forever. I hope for great things for you too. It would make me so happy to see both you and Ninde pregnant. It hasn't been easy for either of you.

Wehavehope~ Any sleep? Your girl's photos are adorable. I'm so happy for you.

Kay~ that is a lot of bedrest. I'm happy that it may be OK for you to carry the twins. I'm so sorry about the torsion. Did they have to remove the ovary? They say that pain is horrible. Good luck at the scan this week.

AFM~nothing new to report. Going to the season opener Charger's game today so that should be fun.

[blueeyedreamer]

Jayne, have fun! Love football season!

Kay, I'm so sorry about the torsion. I'm glad they have figured it out and hopefully fixed it.

We, thanks for the tips.