August 2012 Transfer Buddies

[tmiddle]

Tawny i'm so sorry. I wish you all the best and pray your next cycle is successful.

I have really enjoyed meeting all of you ladies and sharing in your journey's. I will continue to follow your posts and cheer you on. GOOD Luck and prayers to each of you!!

[BRMommy2B]

Tawny,

I know what it is like t feel how you are describing, but you said a few things that I need to address. YOU ARE NOT INADEQUATE! Whether or not you can have a child has nothing to do with your personal worth. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change this. If you were a cruel person, or someone who never thought about others (all things you can control, decisions you make), then you might have some blame for those actions. If you had cancer, or a heart condition, would this make you inadequate? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Your fertility is not a measure of anything but your fertility.

Also, most people in our family have lots of kids, so I know how that is. Some had kids before they were ready to accept responsibility for them, some are great parents, but I know how painful it is, because they have no clue what :t is like.
I bet they haven't even considered that we weren't intentionally not having kids right away

I know you are dealing with sadness, but please don't add to that with guilt, because you haven't don't anything wrong.

You are in my prayers. Please PM me if you would like to talk.

[Ninde]

Suzy: thank you for saying you will let me know about numbers. I would very much like to keep in touch. I wasnt going to join the fb group because im not great on fb but perhaps it is easier han I think? Coukdnyou invite me? My email address is patriciaalle@gmail.com and im patricia Allen on facebook. And thank you.

Tonya: im with lyndsey - youbarnt inadequate - but I know through the grief its really hard to not be rough on yourself. You are clearly feeling this loss hugely and how could you not? But this loss is hard enough without putting pressure on yourself for your parents in laws happiness. They have been blessed with children already and its not your responsibility to give them more. You deserve children for you and I hope with all my heart you have some - but for you and your husband because you yearn so deeply for them. I hope im not being dismissive of your pain, I really dont mean to be. I have never known a process to inflict such anxiety and pain as ivf. Im hoping you have someone around you who can comfort you and be with you in this and like lyndsey, please pm me if you would like to talk. You shouldnt carry this alone.

Patricia

[suzyq]

Tonya-I am with Patricia and Lindsey. You have every right to mourn this lose, but your infertility is not who you are. It is just part of your lot in this life, unfortunately. I hope you keep trying. Stay positive and give DH some time.

Patricia and Lindsey I will send you an invite to be a friend and then when that is done I think the IVF Gals group invite will go through.

[suzyq]

Patricia and Lindsey-AUGH!!!!! I hope I sent friend request to you both.....I am not the best with all this tech stuff.

[BRMommy2B]

Got it, and accepted!

[BRMommy2B]

Suzyq - your son is precious! So wonderful to put a face with a name! I think I'm going to like the Facebook group!

[BRMommy2B]

BTW - have any of you seen the eCard floating around on facebook that says, "Why is it that the worst mothers are also the more fertile?" Of course it's not true, but between all of my trips to the clinic (which is in a woman's hospital), seeing moms slapping their kids around while 8 months pregnant with their next, it sure is hard not to think that sometimes!

[suzyq]

I also asked Cordelia for help so you may get a request from her.
Cristie

[to_have_fun08]

if you are already a member of the IVF group on FB and want to add people .. friend them and then on the IVF Gals page in the right hand corner there is a spot that says members and in a box it says add members. Type in there name and it should show up and you then select it.. If you have issues let me know.. It makes it easier for others to add just so i don't have to friend everyone and then have a million FB friends.. which I really don't mind but at some times i am like.. who is this?? LOL!!!

Chris

[suzyq]

Chris- Thanks I did that, but for some reason it did not work. Maybe I just did not give the system enough time to catch up.

[to_have_fun08]

suzyq - send me a message on FB on who you are trying to add and i will check it out.

[BRMommy2B]

I think we're all on the FB site by now!

[Tawny]

Went to the doc today and he’s unhappy and has no clue what went wrong the embryos were perfect going in. They may not have hatched right or something. He’s not sure. Well we are starting all over in October with BCP. So we are looking at ER and ET Nov 24th and Dec 1st ish. No time off from work except for day of retrieval, transfer and day after retrieval. He said no need for the bed rest we are ganna skip that. He did say we could do one thing to improve things and that’s to freeze. We cringed at the amount of $675 to freeze he asked if it was financial or ethical issue not to freeze we said Financial. He said he’s giving us an early Christmas present and will not charge to freeze. He belives doing this will give us the ultimate best chance of a BFP I’m sooo excited about that. He laughed because I said ‘I love you Dr J!’ it was pretty funny. He is also going to tweak my meds because of the issue that I had about not growing fast enough. So we are just chillin out for right now. I guess I will be joining the November 2012 Transfer Buddies next.

[suzyq]

Tonya-Your news sounds wonderful. I am happy for you. Glad you have some positive news and a schedule in hand.

AFM-Saw my doc today as well. We discussed my low beta and miscarriage. She said it was just not the embryo more me. She said I have a proven uterus to carry a baby, but my eggs have had it. We will start all the retesting for a fresh cycle to bring everything up to date before the end of the year since our deductible has been met and there is no copay right now which i did not know. I will have to contact insurance to see how much they will pay for testing, but doc says a lot of things can be coded to meet my needs. Hoping their honest about it all, but I really don't care at this point since insurance has rapped us a ton in the past. We will discuss increasing egg quality after my testing and what can be done. She did give me a lot of options if we decide to go donor. They have one on one, shared cycle, and egg bank now.