2013 IVF Cyclers Join Us HERE!

[Tawny]

Good luck to all of you fingers crossed and baby dust to you!!!

[Sunshine1576]

Tawny- In all honesty I know someone who went through 11 cycles and transfered 3 embryos on her last try before she got pregnant so no I don't think "just stop freaking out" is key to getting pregnant. Sorry I don't mean to sound rude but it's upsetting when people advice us to stop freaking out. I don't mean to take it personal...but it's normal to worry and hormones with ZERO estrogen due to lupron injections is not helping the process a whole lot. So when someone tells me the key to getting pregnant or this is what worked for them is to stop freaking out, I want to tell them I'm a madwoman on injections so at time(s) it's quite normal to be on this emotional rollercoaster.

[Sdtryingagain]

I think we've all been there with the emotional roller coaster. I don't think Tawny was saying just relax and we'll all get pregnant. Let me tell you how annoying it has been to here people tell me that that is why I got pregnant this time. Mind your I've got two kids and work full time. I want to punch people and tell them actually when I was trying to get pregnant I had nothing going on and was totally unstressed until of course we weren't getting pregnant. I think what tawny was saying is that with ivf we put so much unnecessary pressure on ourselves to be perfectly healthy and do exactly everything we're supposed to. Heck, I was right there munching my pineapple after each transfer religiously laying flat so I couldn't be accused of dislodging my little embie. I think the reality is for most of the things are out of our control and adding additional stress of trying to be perfect just adds to the guilt that some of us have that we are somehow responsible for things working or not working. Of course it is normal to freak out being all jacked up on hormones (I know I did).

[Tawny]

[Sunshine1576]

From here on out, I will be reading and sending replies when neccessary but anything personal I will be messaging that person to deal with it firsthand. I know what I did was NOT me, acting out is it's not something I would normally do. People tell me not to sweat over the small stuff, maybe that's easier for me to digest then hearing "freaked out" but I know I came unglued yesterday...my dad's birthday was yesterday, who I miss so much. On Wednesday a tornado hit my previous hometown in Adairsville, Ga where several of my friends lost their homes...I called and spoke to several of them on Wednesday morning moments after it happened. Thank god they are ok though. My depression is affecting my numbers at work and everyday I'm asking my boss when is the pg coworker who had her baby in Jan coming back to work...It's gone as bad that I even hid the newborn picture so I don't have to look at it everyday in the breakroom for the last 5 weeks anyway. Fortunately I have a crew who can help me stay afloat and they really really try to boost my spirit. My husband who's job is being cut in May is taking it so hard, I cannot blame him he put so much hard work and dedication into that college. This needs to be a stress-free enviroment and I cannot promise you that right now. Stress does exist in our everyday life but it's not fair that you all have to be brought into the middle of my dysfunctional life. I am sorry that I over-reacted earlier on with Tawny. I have tried not getting freaked out already, maybe when someone says not to, it made me come unglued? I have depreived myself of caffeine and long hot baths and eatting better, but apparently getting freaked out even when it's un-necessary cannot be helped. So it's best if there is another outlet, my mind gets so absorbed in the IVF world and I know that alone is not healthy. I love you girls so much and for the last 3 yrs many of you reading this have been a BIG part of my life so it would be over-reacting to say I am leaving the boards after what happened. However with all that was said, I will try to be civilized and not cause any more drama then I already have, but if I do lash back ever again it will be in a more tactful way.

[Sdtryingagain]

No worries sunshine. I think many of us get the same way (ie consumed) by the whole ivf process. I sure know I did. I think we all just need to remember that the forum board is a lot like email, sometimes it is hard to know someone's tone/intention. And sometimes the best advice for one person might not resonate with others. There are different opinions and different voices on the forum that's what makes it good!

[Wishingandhoping]

Just my 2 cents... With most cycles, we don't know why they do or don't work. That being said, an FET is a lot less stressful. A lot less appointments and not as many injections. I know you have a lot going on right now Christy. I hope that this cycle will be a little easier for you.... Especially once you can stop the lupron!

[melissa]

Hi everyone! I am currently in the middle of my 2ww. We did a 3dt of 1 very good 8 cell and 1 okay 6 cell on Sunday 1/27. This was my second cycle as my first was canceled because I didn't respond the the stims. On the second cycle I didn't respond well either but we decided to go for it knowing we could be retrieving only 1 egg. We retrieved 3. 2 fertilized with ICSI. I feel like I have been reading every forum ever posted to the internet about this. The 2ww is horrible and it is all I can think about. I have my beta test on Thursday 2/7. I am debating doing a hpt before then. I am feeling all of the usual fullness/bloating, cramps on day 2-3 after transfer, swollen breasts, sensitive nipples, etc. The progesterone shots are no fun but the estrogen suppository isn't so bad. Just makes me have smurf blue discharge!

Just a little history, I have a 5 year old girl from a previous marriage. My husband has 18 & 14 year old girls from a previous marriage. He had a vasectomy 14 years ago. He had MESA/TESE successfully in Nov 2012. We didn't think we would have any problems with IVF/ICSI until I didn't respond to follistim and menopur. I took Lupron the first cycle and had horrible migraines the entire time.

[Sdtryingagain]

Welcome Melissa! I'll be rooting for you on Thursday. I personally could never resist this sticks. For each of my three cycles I started testing daily at about 2 days after transfer. I can't say it is a good idea but can say it is certainly is tempting! Let us know if you break down and POAS (in case you don't know--POAS= pee in a stick)

I'm a

[leorira11]

I'm baaaack! Vacation was amazing.

I have a surgical hysteroscopy to check out (and hopefully remove) and uterine adhesions that we might have seen on the HSG. Fingers crossed that it goes smoothly and I can start a cycle again in about 6 weeks. Ugh.... seems soooo long away. I just want to get pregnant again!

I'm heartbroken for Lauren too. How terrible.

I'll be stalking and popping in until I (finally!!!) get to cycle again -- hopefully by April or so.

Cheers!

[WhimsyDae]

Good afternoon Ladies!
Sunshine- Quilting is pretty easy, but tedious. I call it my therapy, to be honest. I am working on right now in hues of purple for a cancer fundraiser called Audrey's Purple Dream. I would love to learn how to knit or crochet...but right now, another hobby is not something I need to be focusing on or spending money on! LOL. I am sorry to hear about all the stress going on in your neck of the woods lately. I hope that it will calm down for you soon!!

Welcome Hope87 and Melissa! Best of luck to you girls!

Laura: Thanks for you support, AF still has not reared her ugly head...dangit. I am on Day 35, no signs of her either. The pain I was experience earlier this week felt more like a cyst on one of my ovaries...I have a history of ovarian cysts (they dissolve on their own of course). It has been awhile since I have had one, the worst on I ever had was on CHRISTMAS Day a few years ago and had to go to the hospital...that was not fun! So at this point, I am assuming I won't be having a visitor this month and will probably start my cycle around Day 50, that is the norm when I skip a cycle. So irritated about that, just a little eager to get started.

Leoria- Glad you had a wonderful vacation. Please keep us posted on your progress. Keeping my fingers crossed and saying a few prayers for you.

AFM: As I mentioned above, that is pretty much it. I have been busy this past week, working and finishing this quilt and this next week will be much of the same. I suppose it is a nice distraction from missing my cycle. I have to go to the store today, so I thought I would pick up a PT, just to see. I to am addicting to POAS...I think I have kept those companies in business over the last 7 years!! LOL. My husband...poor thing, is trying to be encouraging and positive about this...saying maybe I am pregnant, knowing full well our situation. He tries. LOL So just to make sure I will POAS and see (b/c I am also overly paranoid and eager about it). I will let you girls know the result.
I hope everyone has a great week. It is a beautiful day here in MN, sunny and 9 degrees. We got snow the last two days, so I shoveled the driveway...it was barrels of fun.

[Sunshine1576]

Melissa- WELCOME! lol trust me I know all about the lupron madness but you are more then halfway there. Here's to Thursday bringing you a BFP! I did poas before beta only to prepare myself but I did it the morning of beta to hang on to hope but some do poas starting on day 9 but it's addictive and I am too cheap to stock up on poas sticks.

WhimseyDae- It's so good to find outlets with hobbies while we're inbetween cycling and it's a great distraction. It certainly helps take our mind off the craziness until we run out for pee sticks lol. But you never know, and sometimes poas ease our minds too with all the wondering. omg what if you are pregnant? Miracles happen everyday, sometimes when we least expect them to but it's a miracle WHEN it does!
Btw, I LOVE our quilting idea called Audrey's Purple Dream, wow this must be so rewarding for a great cause. I would love to see it once it's finished, sounds so beautiful! This reminds me of my neighbor's little girl Annabelle, at age 10 talked to me several times about using my fabric, turn it into blanket and give it to someone we don't know but who's sick at the hospital. She went as far as hotgluing pieces of ribbon together, lol that little girl really melts my heart. But your idea might be something we could do together, I know she would be all about helping me. Can you tell me more as to how you got started with the project I would be interested in hearing all the details. How does one learn to quilt?

Leora- So glad you had an amazing vacation with David. I've seen your pictures uploaded on facebook and I love the humor behind many of them. I'll keep you in my prayers that the surgery goes smoothly and we can get back to cycling together soon. Keep yourself busy in the meantime and time will fly by. I know it sounds crazy but to me January really did zoom by so find some distractions and you will get there I promise.

AFM: Trying to drink more water to help with the yucky-feeling from lupron. I go in for SnS on Friday which will be weird, this is a FET cycle and there won't be any activity going on. Also I thought AF usually arrives once you stop bcp. My last cycle was on 1/15 and I took 3 weeks worth of bcp so maybe it didn't throw off my normal cycle- who knows? But I go for an obgyn yearly exam on the 11th so my fear is starting AF then but I guess I would just cancel the appt...

[hope87]

Hi all!!

I was with my sister yesterday at the doctor. So he said because it was only 6 eggs we got on a low medication , he will increase a bit the hormons she got last time, hoping for more eggs. She will start with that in march , so somewhere in april, the whole procedure could happen again.. Cant wait..but Im also so scared now.. Somehow we believed in miracle that is gonna happen for the first try.. Of course my sister started to blame on herself, that she is old.. But everything was good with her results before. So im trying to calm her down its not her fault

I cant get this whole thing out of my head so trying to keep myself busy with going for language school, sport.. Next week wer are all going to ski with my boyfriends family.. they don't know yet (only the dad and the sister).. Im not sure if I wanna tell them now.. I hate the "Im sorry"face.. but I hate more when they are asking When do you wanna have a baby.... Or when i say im not drinking today: Oooh are you pregnant??? I always get so pissed off and sad and no one knows why my mood changes always if they are asking it... I wish I would be strong enought to say on facebook: Hey ppl i cant have kids so stop asking it and dont feel sorry for me...

[LauraN]

Hope87- So sorry you are feeling like that. This process can be all consuming....you eat, you think about it, you drink you think about it, you breath, you think about it. This is honestly the first cycle where it's not all consuming for me, what's more making me crazy is that I'm not stressing right now....it's weird. I am sure it is hard for your sister and she will be harder on herself than anyone could ever be on her. I will keep you both in my prayers! Hang in there!

Sunshine- So I start the Lupron in 1 week.....it's not even stressing me, when typically the thought of the shots starting still freaks me out with my needle phobia.....maybe my antidepressants are helping me.

Leora- So glad your trip was awesome. That sucks the results you came back to. Good luck on the thingy today....I think you are already having it or already have...the time difference jacks me up. So an April cycle.....April rocks, you could have a dec baby depending on when in April you do it!

WhimsyDae- Seriously on the AF! The minute you want it, it decides to hide itself! If you want it really bad, you can ask the doctor's office for pills that make you have it....it can take up to 10 days from when you start the pills though-just a thought. I did that once because AF refused to come. I swear this entire process is a waiting game and that is the hardest for me.....I HATE to wait for anything. So on the crafting stuff....I'm a total crafter at heart, however, I suck at sewing, quilting and all that jazz. I do love to cross stitch but haven't worked on one in a while. I may pick one up for during my couple of days after the transfer to do in bed.

Melissa- I swear the 2WW is one of the craziest times....where you do nothing but obsess about whether or not you are pregnant. Every single thing you feel, you analyze. Good times! It is easy for me to say not to make yourself crazy, but what the hell, that is what we all do anyway. I am one of those POAS (pee on a stick) addicts.....I maybe be worse than some to where I will actually test several times per day.....however, I've never figured out how to add pictures on here, so I don't post the pee sticks like others do, and I have never taken a picture of a pee stick either.....I swear I take pics with my phone of everything else, so maybe this time around I will take a pic of the sticks. I have found that with my 2 positives, I got the positive I think 3 or 4 days before my beta. On the two times I got negatives, I started testing way early and it just continued to be negative......

Sorry if I missed anyone, I'm sure I did. It's been fun crazy around my house. My 18 year old moved back home (which I LOVE-he's my baby even though he's 6'1/150 lbs). His friend was having a hard time, so we have allowed the friend, girlfriend and their two kids to live with us for a few weeks. They are great and I love, love, love the kids. They have a 2 year old that is so freaking funny(I don't remember 2 yr olds being like him) and then a 2 month old that everytime I pick her up, she falls asleep on me. Needless to say, it's been crazy. The dogs bark everytime the baby or the 2 yr old cry, which cracks me up! They don't like it when people are upset. I remember one time, I think after the 2nd pregnancy ending, I was on the couch just crying uncontrollably and my dog was just howling and howling and trying to cuddle to me. Anywho, on the cycle front, nothing much going on.....still on BCP and I have a baseline sono Monday and start getting shot on Tuesday with the evil Lupron. Oh- forgot, on the fun side of life, my oldest turned 21 today! I can't believe he's so old and I'm not aging a day We are taking him gambling this weekend- he's excited about that. I'm a total gambleholic and can see how people get addicted to that. luckily we don't have gambling too close to us. And I think at some point someone asked me where I am at.....I live in a little town right outside of San Antonio, Texas. We go into San Antonio for our clinic visits. With traffic, it takes me about an hour and a half, without traffic, I could probably get there in 30-40 minutes if I drive like a crazy person. I love my clinic, they rock, especially the nurses and my nurse. They know I'm all crazy when I start cycling and that I will call them non stop to get results, so they are great at calling me with results real quick.

Ok, I guess I should turn around and get back to work and stop typing here....you guys have a great day and let's all attempt to not get too bat shit crazy today

[Sunshine1576]

Hope- I'm glad you had a good RE appt with your sister, changing up the protocal for meds will help increase the follicle count. I know it not working the first attempt was very disappointing, but hang in there we will help you get through each step. As for others if they ask, just say we're working on it and will tell you when we are ready to. The key to all of this is patience and it would help if they had some too. Timing is everything and your journey is going to be worthwhile. Plus we will be there to cheer you on this upcoming April no matter what we'll be here for you.

LaureN- Your house must be very lively right now, note this is a glimpse of what it will be like one year from now when you bring home your babies, so are you ready? I know I LOVE having interaction and when my best friend comes down and brings her little girl and I have Belles over to play with 10 yr old daughter, we have the best time. I absolutely hate to see them leave, the house gets way TOO quiet if you know what I mean. I hoe your oldest has a wonderful birthday with much fun at the casino. I would love to San Antonio someday!

AFM: This week my in-laws came down for a surprise visit they arrived last night. Now they stay in their RV at a resort near Destin, FL so they won't feel like they are intruding but I did stress a little thinking what if they decide to cover over? lol but like I said since they don't want to feel they are intruding (which I assure you they are not) we met them at a restaurant tonight. Dh brought them the forms my clinic needed us to sign with a witness so my father-in-law signed with us...If you remember they took me to my ET in October, that was the last time I had saw my MIL as she was leaving saying I'll see you around July, she had anticipated that this would work, and when it didn't we all were crushed but I knew she was more so then me since I've done this once before. Well tonight my FIL offered to put me up in a hotel for two nights somewhere closer to the clinic thinking maybe this would give us a better chance? Dh and I both turned to him and said how we felt about that, we couldn't possibly accept this offer. Their thoughts were with the long commute and they took the scenic route home maybe lessoned my chance for success, I told them guys I've done this once before and no commuting 2.5 hours isn't going to make or break my chance. They are being overprotective I guess but I wish they wouldn't feel this way, I started to tell them both how implantation worked but I felt it might be too much information for dh's dad. But what was funny about the whole conversation was when dh told him I've even learned to give myself the injection...I said yes sometimes the clinic calls me back needing my to take the shot at lets say 3:00 and Mich isn't home to give it to me...I even elaborated that with certain meds I use the mirror and give it to myself...dh was like why do you need the mirror??? lol I said because it's given on my back side, you know upper hip. MIL jumped in, said that has to be a tough angle you know it has to be...my inner thought was let me demostrate the next time I have a PIO shot. Oh well that's my night in a nutshell...You got to love family!