2013 IVF Cyclers Join Us HERE!

[Hattiestar]

Hi all. I'm brand new. About to start IVF meds, but still can't believe this is happening. Ttc for 2+ years, pg naturally last summer, but m/c at 9 weeks (our little girl would have been due Feb. 16--still hurts). I thought I could get pg again but after 4 IUIs, it kept not happening. Just got AF on Fri. and now am supposed to start the pill and baby aspirin, followed by the hormones, antibiotics, etc. But I'm still so shocked and scared and overwhelmed. And everyone around me seems pg! I'm the only one I know personally who is still trying to get pg. ALL my friends have had babies or are pg--makes me feel broken, and at 39, too old to try. I wish I felt more excited and hopeful about things, but the disappointments have taken me over today. Half of me wants to run--to just keep trying on our own (we are "unexplained"), but that doesn't seem to be working. Any words of encouargement? I sure could use them.

[Sunshine1576]

Hattiestar- Welcome to the group! I'm glad you found us, the girls here are wonderful offering sound advice, moral support and when you feel like nobody understands what's going on, well we do! Actually I can very much relate to what you are going through. We are in the unexplained category too, it took years for dh to get me to see a specialist, I was like but we can keep trying naturally. Month after month tcc using the opk test we still got nothing. But what was strange was I was right in the middle of a bank conversion at work and I met a customer who had a young teenage sister that was having a baby but she made the personal decision she wanted to give this baby up for adoption. I was placed on the list to meet with her. I brought home her high school graduation picture to my sweet husband who said to me I know you are very interested in pursueing this but I feel we are not quite there yet honey. Well three days later after that talk, we found out we were pregnant. We were on cloud 9 could not believe we conceived naturally after being off bcp for more then 7 yrs, 10yrs of marriage at that time. We were shocked but unfortunately our miracle was taken away from us at 6.5 weeks along. I know the feeling of being devasiated, I know what it felt like having a brother and his wife only one week apart from what should had been our miracle too. Fast forward 6 months later dh finally got me into the fertility specialist office. After all the testing, we were told everything looked textbook perfect. I was disappointed, I really wanted to find something wrong, so they could fix me and we could go on and have a baby. Little did I know that surgery like that can get pretty invasive, but my mind was only focused on one thing, having a baby. I even half-way considered finding one in a nice stroller somewhere in the supermarket and taking the child home with me. lo. At the clinic, Dh on the other hand had inconsistant sperm counts, he was placed on thyroid medicine which we felt showed no sign of improvement. Doctor put him on a ton of vitamins to help boost his count and it took at least 90 days to see results since sperm is very slow at developing. Anyway we did one IVF with this in town clinic and found it too expensive to afford another round so we resorted back to the IUIS. During my second IUI, my nurse came in as I had my feet in stir-ups and told me I needed to be looking at what my next steps are. I was right in the middle of the IUI when she told me that, I thought maybe she is being real but that wasn't good bedside manners. So when I went to my Obgyn for my yearly exam I told him what happened, he reached over and handed me a brochure to another clinic one he highly recommended that offers the IVF ATTAIN program. Dh and I decided we set up a time to meet with Dr, K in Gulf Breeze,FL 5 hour round trip from my house but I felt I needed a chance to really make something happen. We met with the new RE and he recommended us to try 3 more IUIs, we got through 2 iuis and about the time we were ready for the 3rd one, Michael came home torn apart, he had just found out his contract would not be renewed at the college so we knew we needed to take a break from treatment. In the meantime he found a part-time job and we talked the college into letting him stay one more year. We paid off his truck and then applied for the IVF Attain program barely getting approved. So in October 2010 we went through a fresh cycle but knew this time it would be ok knowing it was far from being over. We took a break for the Christmas holidays and in Feb just did our first ever frozen cycle and one took. We were completely not expecting this to work. As a matter of fact, the day I was waiting for the phone call, my car broke down lol costing me $1400 in repairs...but when I got that call from my doctor I was like really, really are you really sure, my doctor said is your name Angela Christine I said yes, he said well then you are pregnant. I cried so hard over the phone that I could barely speak. We are waiting to tell any of MIchael's family, but most of mine know since they are nosey but I need support either way, in case something happens I can still have them to pick me back up. Yes it's still soooo early we'll be 7 weeks on Wednesday. But I know I'm not out of the woods yet and it's going to take alot of distractions to get me through the wait for our first u/s on Wed. Maybe I learned something greater then this though, it's going to happen when we least expect something to happen. Hattiestar, I'm sharing this story with you bc I know there have been tough times but IVF will make you that much stronger and determined. Most of all we have to keep our faith! We wouldn't be in this journey if we didn't believe at some point that it's going to happen.
This is our dream and together we will pursue it!
Christy

[Sunshine1576]

TinaLou- I will be praying for you this week! Maybe they just had bad equipment, I've never heard of this happening! How does an ovary vanish?

[suzyq]

Hattiestar- Welcome to the group. This is a great group of ladies. Keep your chin up. We are here for each other. I am here cheering you on.

Sunshine/Christy- My brother is in Texas now. We lived two hours apart till I left Texas 6 1/2 years ago for the Seattle area. Sure do miss the heat. Hope your feeling better. Enjoy spending time with your DH today on his birthday.

Tinalou- Welcome to the group as well. Glad you decided to jump on board this crazy train. Looks like you are right there with Sarah and I. We are all cycle buddies. Hopefully the cyst is not an issue. Good luck in the coming weeks.

Leora- So sorry you are in beta hell. I was there last August. I pray yours ends with a healthy baby.

Blissful- Thankful your DD surgery went well. Most of the time I think these types of issues are harder on the mamas than the babe. Hope you have a good strong number on your beta.

Sarah- Hope your doing well and having a great weekend.

AFM- Playing the waiting game till B/W on Friday. On another note, DH was not so dear this weekend. He is a great guy 98% of the time, but when he goofs the other 2% he will not apologize. When I called him on his rudeness to me this weekend he refused to admit he had done anything and said I should let all his mistakes slid since he is so good to me. That really ticked me off. Anyways, not having fun being with him. Sorry to vent. Just a little irritated.

[BlissfulCS]

TinaLou- I have never heard of such a thing. You mean they were never able to find it on ultrasound and they have seen it before? Welcome to the group and best of luck to you.

SD- that's a big deal, your first AF after mc. An important step in the direction of holding your next healthy little one. Hugs. I have missed you! You won't believe it but I am POASing! I will explain... I have definitely crossed over officially to the POAS crew.

Suzyq- Are we married to the same guy? We had the exact same argument last night. And he is always the worst after I have had a bad day. Every now and then you think they could just be sweet and sensitive. What makes me crazy is that its that 2% of the time that they are not perfect when I need him to be nice to me the most... like when I am anxiously waiting to see if I am pregnant and just got a BFN on a pee stick!

Leora- I am praying so hard for you and hope you are one of those amazing rising beta stories... I pray that for both of us since I am still BFN on the FRER and I am only two sleeps from Beta. Sorry you are going through this.

Christy- only a few more days before you hear that beautiful sound!

Hattie- 39 is still plenty young with IVF! This is a long hard road and it took us 4 tries but we finally had our beautiful duaghter in January 2012. Now I am crazy enough to be back trying for a sibling. You will have your baby but you can't run. You are in the right place and are doing the right things. Best of luck as you get going.

AFM- Well its 11 dpo and my FRER was negative this morning. Yes, I went over to the other side and started POASing this weekend. On Saturday I woke up feeling so nauseous that I was sure I was pregnant with triplets. So I went to the store and bought six tests (one for each day until beta plus an extra couple for after). I just KNEW it was going to be positive. When it wasn't I was sad but not devastated. Today when I got the BFN I was strangely relieved. Don't get me wrong, I so longed to see that line... but the waiting to know was making me crazy. Now at least I know I am probably not pregnant and I was able to think about next steps and enjoy my family rather than obsessing and being distracted. I think I can handle it in a way now that I couldn't in the past. Still hoping for a BFP in the morning and a positive Beta on Tuesday. Having 8 fro sties does make things a little brighter though. Plus this is my third fresh. My one pregnancy was an FET so I am sure if this isn't my time that my BFP is just around the corner.

I am sick though...however not with a baby. So I am going to bed already.

Hugs, prayers, and baby dust to all.

[TinaLou]

TinaLou- I have never heard of such a thing. You mean they were never able to find it on ultrasound and they have seen it before? Welcome to the group and best of luck to you.

Oh, my left ovary has been there every time. Doc was even able to find my artery on the ultrasound and said it is usually there, then he said that sometimes the left ovary can be tricky to find.

Thank you for your well wishes.

[Sdtryingagain]

Welcome to the darkside dearest Bliss, although I wish I could welcome you on better terms with a surprise early BFP. Of course you are not out of the game yet! I know what you mean by being at an okay place to deal with a negative, but I'm still holding out hope for you. Did you have nausea with your pregnancy?

AFM-- I know I said I was gonna wait a few month, but DH talked me into trying this month. We'll try with the conception cap thing again....if i can find my darn cervix! Finding ones own cervix is a less than pretty task.

[sariah2003]

All sorts of news here since I last checked in. Don't know where to start.
Leora - sorry to hear about the low beta. Hope things still turn out for you.
Tinalou- sounds like you're cycling about a week after me. Not sure what to yell you about the disappearing ovary. Never run into that problem before. I'm sure they'll find it on the next ultrasound after everything has had a chance to rearrange a bit.
Hattiestar- welcome to the board. It's my first time doing if too. Everyone here is great and always willing to answer questions you come up with along the way.
Sunshine - so excited for you to get to hear the heartbeat of your little one.
Suzyq- sorry for the unsympathetic husband.
Blissful no fun being sick. I just had my turn with the stomach flu not long ago and am so grateful its done with. Get feeling better soon and good luck with the beta.

I had my second ultrasound/blood work. I have 20+ follicles growing and the largest is a 13. Crazy results after only 4 days of stims. When they called back with my blood results they told me to drop my follistim down to 50units from 200units. Apparently they're worried about overstimulation so they want me drinking lots of water and upping my protein intake. Guess I'm gonna have steak for dinner tonight. Next ultrasound is on Wed. Feeling a little bloated but otherwise doing great. Good luck everyone.

[BlissfulCS]

That is fabulous Sariah!!! I know the threat of OHSS is scary and it's tough to slow down but it's early and I bet this turns out to be a great cycle for you.

SD- yay on getting back in the saddle! Lol. I'm still hoping for a surprise tomorrow but I am realistic. I'm ready for whatever and if there is a next cycle I need your advice on where to buy cheap but accurate tests

Tinalou- you stumped me! After 5 cycles and a million IVF googles I didn't think it was possible. Glad it's still there somewhere.

[Sdtryingagain]

Lol, bliss, I wish I could give you good advice about cheap but accurate tests but I'm such a junkie I can only use the first response early response ones since I want to compare to old tests (I saved them ALL). I've heard great things about dollar tree but this junkie has gotta have my DOC (which in the addiction world stands for drug of choice)

Well, I will be hopin and praying for a surprise positive tomorrow. And hope you'll be back in the saddle with me if not. I'm really hoping I can get pregnant not to long after you and join you over on the PAT board. Man, am I crazy for trying naturally after so my years of nada and only one pregnancy that miscarried?? Seems a little silly not to try. I guess I can at least give it 3-6 months...ugh I swore I'd never go through the TTC thing again after it completely destroyed our sex life the first year after our marriage. Still have tons of love with my DH but the "trying" is only limited to ovulation, sad but true...

[Hattiestar]

Sunshine--thanks for the warm welcome and sharing your story. I'm so excited for you! And so glad you found the right RE (that nurse sounded awful!). Showers of baby dust!

Suzyq: I wonder how much stress this ttc train puts on any marriage. Things certainly have been hard with us! Venting is good medicine. Hope things mellow out soon (and he apologies as he should! -:).

Blissful--thanks for your encouragement. So glad to hear the IVF worked for you before--and maybe the hormones are still building up this cycle. I'll hope for you. Amazing that you have 8 frosties--wow! Sending showers of baby dust.

Sarah--thanks for the welcome. 20+ follicles sounds amazing! Enjoy your steak-- a lovely dinner sounds like a great gift to yourself.

Sdtrying: Sorry for your losses (I m/c last summer at 9 weeks--my little girl would have been due this past Feb--still hurts). So glad to hear you haven't given up! I'm there with you!

AFM: I'm such a newbie. Just started suppression, 2 days in, and have a nasty headache from "the pill" (necon). Hoping it doesn't last the entire time I'm on it (thru mid April). I'm still thinking about running--stopping the pill and just trying again on our own. I'm totally freaked out about all the money (we can only afford 1 shot--my DH isn't working due to a back injury, so financially things are really tough right now) and worried about what the hormones are going to do to my mood (have a history of anxiety/depression). The greatest fear though is that I'll have no healthy embies. I have low AMH (.69 that came up to a 1.1 but my doc said you perform at your lowest level) and my DH's count is a little bit low. Because of my age and the kind of m/c we had (a translocation on the 5th and 13th pairs), my RE wants us to get PGS testing, which I know can be hard on the embyros, which will then need to be frozen and thaw. So many things need to go right! I'm stimming in April for retrieval in May, then PGS testing, then transfer in July--a crazy long process. Does anyone else have experience with PGS? When did you all know that it was time for IVF? I'm afraid to do it, and at almost 40, afraid not to. Trying to get back to being hopeful.

[suzyq]

Hattistar-IVF Is not an easy decision. I was 40 when we started TTC. Tried for 6 mths with nothing. Completely missed a period and thought i was pregnant only to get a BFN. Had to do clomid to start it again. Then jumped into IVF. We decided to do donor eggs since my reserve was gone. Took almost 8 months with testing and matching our cycles. Delivered DS at age 42 in May of 2011. He cost us 26K then delivery on top of that. Worth every penny. Tried for a sibling with our only Popsicle last summer and M/C in Sept. Now I am doing donor egg bank which is a little more than half the cost of a fresh cycle. This has been one long crazy train. Now 44 hoping to deliver at 45. This is my last chance. I just don't think my body can keep up. I wish all the luck in this decision.

As for my DH he is under a lot of stress about to change brokerage firms on April 19. Changing jobs will financially help us, but it a lot right now. I am just giving him a little space, but not willing to take his crap.

Sariah3003- Keep growing those follies. Drink lots of water and take it easy. I bet things work out just fine.

Sdtryingagain- Good luck. I have heard of several natural miracles lately. Keep us posted.

TinaLou-They always have a heard time finding my left ovary. Not sure we have seen it on the last 3 u/s. Doc said if there was a problem I would know it.

Blissfulics-Thanks for sharing and consorting with me about DH. So sorry about the BFN. That sucks. I know how heart breaking it can be. Hopefully soon you will be pregnant with a sibling for DD.

Sunshine/Christy- Good luck tomorrow on seeing your sweet little one's HB. I am so excited for you.

AFM- I know I am a little moody too. Thrilled I have not put on any weight this cycle. Hope I just did not jinx myself. Continuing the dreaded lupron shots and patches. B/W this Friday. Anyways, I wish you all a lot of luck and patients through this long process. Keep your chins up.

[TinaLou]

SuzyQ- thanks for the encouraging words. I'm so glad I'm not the only one with a vanishing ovary. Luckily the nurse found it yesterday and it is growing some follicles. It is causing me a lot of pelvic and back pain. Making it difficult to get good rest.

AFM- I should have been done with Follistim but my follies are growing slowly so I had to order more (ouch!). We are hoping for retrieval early next week. Go back in tomorrow for another check. The cyst on my right ovary has grown to 33mm. The nurse said I may feel it rupture. Anybody had that happen?

[suzyq]

Sunshine/Christy- Just posted on FB that they have a HB of 140 via a text. They are thrilled.

CONGRATS CHRISTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[suzyq]

TinaLou- There is nothing wrong with slow and stead. I understand you get better egg quality that way. As for the cyst, I have never had one, but hear they can be very painful. Did the nurse tell you what to expect or say what to do for pain? How long from transfer will your beta be? My clinic waits 11 days for a 3dt or 9 for a 5dt. So I will know by April 22. I know you are ahead of me so it gives me something to look forward to. Crazy huh????? Good luck tomorrow.

I see you are a teacher and from Oklahoma. I was raised in New Mexico (Clovis) and taught for ten years and subbed full time the last 4 years before DS. Also, lived in Texas (San Antonio) for 7 seven years before coming to the great northwest of Seattle. Subbing in WA is good money without the parent issues.

Cristie