2013 IVF Cyclers Join Us HERE!

[Sdtryingagain]

AFM-- I've started my daily testing since my shipment of hpt came early I have 8 left. I'm 10dpo now so I have a couple days of testing before I give up and wait for AF....

[Amy317]

Good Morning ladies!

Hope all of you are doing well! I am 7dp5dt today and have my Beta scheduled for Friday 4/16/13 My spotting finally stopped when my RE decided to up my crinone to twice a day and estrace three times a day ( urgh). Thank you all for your words of encouragement...the spotting freaked me out. At this point I really have no symptoms and I am trying to not POAS.
SuzyQ are you going to POAS this cycle? Hopefully we both get the postive we are looking for.
Leoria I have been following your story and I am sending you postive vibes and prayers.

This last week of the 2ww feels like an eternity!

Me 33 no issues
DH 35 male infertility issue
TTC since 2008
DD in 2004 natural pregnancy
Ivf 1: 3/11/13
Beta: 4/19/13

[TinaLou]

I only have 2 days left until I my beta. I am resisting the urge to POAS just because I am too scared to find out if it is bad news. I will continue to bask in being PUPO until Friday. Being my first cycle, this is all new to me. I have had lots of cramping and nausea. I am pretty sure that is from the increased dose of PIO and suppositories the doctor added Saturday.

Sdtryingagain: wishing you all the best this week. There is still time for those two lines!!

SuzyQ: praying for the best for you this week. When is your beta, and have you managed to avoiod POAS?

[Amy317]

Tinalou my beta is friday too and I am trying not to POAS. I am scred to do it as well. This is my first go around with IVF so I am nervous that it will be negative. I am trying to have postive thoughts but sometimes the mind just does what it wants!!

[cosette64]

@SuzyQ, It is staggering. I am not saying that paying that much isn't worth every single penny, but when you think about the price tags they place on my medical visits, hospitalization etc in France (I pay now and am reimbursed later) I think I pay out about roughly 400 EUROS. The hormones and other medication I go pick at the pharmacy and it is paid by our health care system on the spot. I also have a closet full of hormones and other infertility drugs on reserve now from my previous leftovers! Each cycle runs with the medication included about 1500 Euros I would say. So about 2,000 USD. That being said, as you can see I pay the price in another way. I'm pretty sure this cycle is a bust for me. I just started spotting yesterday and still no postive HPT. My Beta is Friday. My next step is another ICSI, I think. I am required to wait 3 months but with my husbands schedule (he works in Africa every other month) it will probably be in September. I think in the mean time I might try acupuncture. I try not to leave any stones un-turned!
Did I see your son or daughter will be starting school at BYU? My best friend went there for her undergrad. She had a wonderful experience. Good luck to you too next week. Is it the first Beta are you in your 2WW ? And sorry, but some of the terminology I have not yet mastered what is POAS?

@STtryingagain, lol. You are right. I didn't think of it that way. But that is the French for you. Regardless of the investment they will not move their weekends. Their weekends are sacred. If you aren't in a big tourist city everything is closed on Sundays. Except for restaurants. And you can forget about a 24hour hotline. You can't even find a superstore open past 8pm, or McDonalds open after 11PM!! It took awhile for me to get used to it. Next step for me is a little break with some Acupuncture in the mix. It seems everyone here has an opinion on how to heal your infertility. I have friends giving me African tribal statues to put in my living room or under my pillow, friends telling me it's psychological and giving the number of their shrink. I have had my mother-in-law advising me to see a chiropractic. And the latest is my pharmacist swearing by an acupuncturist that cured her infertility! I just smile and nod, and when I feel desperate enough I take them up on their suggestions! So the next step is having needles jabbed into me. Oh, what we put ourselves through to be mothers.
I see you are in the 2ww yourself just a couple of days behind me. I wish you all the best, and I really hope it happens for you this time. I have my fingers crossed for you! Unfortunately it's game over for me. My AF came. But I find myself a lot more calm and collected with the results this time. I am also a lot more optimistic for the next cycle. Last time I was a wreck. We can tribute that the forum. Thank you.

[suzyq]

Summer- I feel for you in the health care system over there. I lived in Italy for 4 years and it was a pain. Even though we were military I had to use the Italian ER and it was awful. In Italy everything closed on the weekend as well and everyday from 1-4. It was such a pain. I love your positive attitude whatever your outcome. Being positive is hard to do in the crazy IVF world. Keep it up. Yes, my DD is staring at BYU and I have another already there. They are from my first marriage in my 20's. Great girls with bright futures. I am very proud of them. POAS- Pee on a stick- pregnancy test. If you need to know any other lingo go to Invitro page and go to abbreviations thread. Last pages are the best. Hope that helps. Stay strong. I am still holding out hope for you this week. My test is Monday.

Amy- Best of luck this week. Stay strong and don't go to the dark side of the POAS alcoholics.

Tinalou-Good luck on getting a BFP. Glad you are staying strong as well. The 2ww is a killer. Glad it is only 11 days for me.

Sdtryingagain-You are much stronger than I and I admire that. I do love the drama of watching others POAS. I hope you get your BFP.

Leora-Pray you are feeling better soon. I am so sorry this was not your rainbow baby. I have a great feeling about your DE transfer coming up. Hugs.

Recap for everyone. Hope I get it all right.

Summer/Cosette64- BETA is Friday
Amy317- Beta is Friday
Tinalou-Beta is Friday.
Sdtryingagain- POAS freak and praying for 2 lines.
Suzyq/Cristie- Beta is Monday the 22nd.
Sariah- Recovering from sever OHS and will do an FET in the up coming months. Prayers to you.
Leoria- Recovering.
Sunshine/Christy- Pregnant and loving it. Congrats.

AFM- Just hanging out and waiting. Off to bake cookies for my friends wedding reception. Hopefully this will keep me busy. Thanks all for sharing and caring. Support here is wonderful.

[Sdtryingagain]

Lol suqyq-- I am definitely the opposite of strong!! I pee because I can't fight it. I eat my dessert first, ruin birthday surprises and find my Xmas presents too! Pee report unfortunately is big fat negativo...today is 11dpo. All my pregnancies that result in my babes were positive by 10dpo, the ones just turning positive after that resulted in miscarriage so i'm already thinkin about next month. Hopefully, we'll get the money for FET together soon...

Trying to limit myself to just one stick a day....

[Sdtryingagain]

Summer-- so sorry AF showed up and you have to cycle again. Interesting about the culture difference, I've never been to France. I've been to several places in Europe that I'm sure were similar but was traveling in my early 20's and don't think I took in much culturally outside of noticing old buildings. I'm sure I'd appreciate so much more if I went now. So sorry also to hear that your social circle seems generally well-meaning but yet fairly unhelpful. Being told all that stuff would give me a "psychological block" even if I didn't have one. I almost threw my shoe at one of nurses at our REs office when I was going there for ultrasound after we recently had a natural pregnany. She said "it always happens when you stop trying!" I was thinking "Et tu Brute!!!!!". Seriously??? Do you seriously think I didn't get pregnant for 5 years naturally because I tried too hard?? I wanted to say "lady, we were trying again and used the home conception kit I was trying just as hard as last time you ignorant fool!!!!" wow, that was nice to vent....lol. anyway, sorry to go on. My point is to validate your feelings that all these people wanting us to get cracked, stabbed with needles, have therapy, or twist ourselves in hot yoga need to think whether or not they should be giving advice or just listening.

[leorira11]

so many betas today! I'm stalking for results....

AFM -

yeah.... what a nightmare.

We decided to go with misoprostol. I didn't want to wait any longer to miscarry and we decided with my doctor that a D&C wasn't a great idea. The amount of tissue was so small, and I've already had 4 D&Cs and 3 hysteroscopies - and uterine adesions and cervical issues.

I went to the hospital at 8am. Their policy is to monitor for 6 hours after placing the misoprostol. I started to bleed almost immediately after getting 800mg at 10 am, which was a huge relief. At 4:30, the bleeding was quite heavy but the nurse checked and said it was normal. I had no pain (took some painkillers preemptively, but I had zero pain) and got sent home.

By seven pm, the bleeding was really heavy -- soaking a pad faster than 10 min. I called my husband into the bathroom to show him how much I was bleeding --- and passed out and fell off the toilet. He ran to call an ambulance. Of course, our cleaning lady was there too. Oy! She was a huge help - getting a phone, packing a bag for us, calming down our freaking-out dogs. I'm going to have go get her a gift!

I dirfted in and out of consciousness. The EMTs got me awake again and started an IV for fluids. My BP was okay but my pulse was thready - and we rushed off to the hospital. I was readmitted (duh).



They pushed a ton of fluids (5 liters in all) and there was debate about a blood transfusion. Transfusions have risks -- my BP stayed reasonable and my blood count was only a little low, so they decided not to. I kinda wish I had gotten a transfusion though. Im' now strong enough to stand up for short periods of time, but I'm really weak and I know from experience with less massive blood loss that recovery takes a long time.

Thursday morning, they did an u/s to make sure everything had passed. I had stopped bleeding entirely by that time. Of course.... we have horrible luck and not everything had passed.



The on call doctor wanted to give me more drugs and start the bleeding again, insisting that there was only a little tissue left and it would pass easily.

I was terrified of more blood loss, and also terrified that even more drugs would end things comletely. I pushed for a D&C. I had one done at 8pm and spent another night in the hospital.

After surgery, I was feeeling soooo much better, both physically and emotionally.

I came home this morning, which is great. I'm still super weak and the blood loss will take a long time to recover.

My gyn surgeon finally came to see me right before I was released. I was surpsied i hadn't seen him earlier. Usually 'my' doctors see my name on admissions and come to visit. I know "my" OB is away in China for two weeks, but I was surprised "my" surgeon didn't come with surgery became an option. Well... he came by this morning in bloody clothes with a juge cast on one arm and an ER admission bracelet. Turns out, he was in an accident and hospitalized himself! He STILL aplogized for not getting to see me. What a nice guy.

He suggested a diagnostic (out patient, no anesthesia) hysteroscopy after I get my next period, because I did a 5th D&C and have a history of minor adhesinos. I agree. This will delay our next cycle by a few weeks, but I like the peace of mind.



So basically.... NOTHING ever goes easy for us!

[TinaLou]

Beta results back and it is positive, but my levels are very low(7.5) so I go back on Monday to see if they are improving. But, I am PREGNANT!! Never been pregnant before!! Small celebration. Hubs is doing a good job of staying positive and reminding me that through this whole process I have been a slow responder. Prayers for the others on here doing their betas today as well.

[Amy317]

Beta results are back and its positive as well! my levels were at 68.5. Not sure if that is a really good number or not BUT ILL TAKE IT
Congrats to you, TInalou
I cant wait to hear about everyone elses Betas. HEres to more positives!!

[Sdtryingagain]

Wooohoooo for two positives, let the doubling begin!!!

Leora- so glad you are okay and back on track for your rainbow baby!

AFM-- no luck this month, 4 sticks later we're still BFN. Af expected tomorrow. Next month I'm hoping to be able to post some sticks with my dear friend bliss and her snowbabies waiting to come home:)

[suzyq]

CONRATS to Amy and Tinalou!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I did not get on here sooner to check your results. Just a little crazy here today. I will be looking forward to hearing your doubling numbers on Monday. Grow babies grow.

Leora- Rest up and regain your strength. I am glad your home and wish you a speedy recovery.

Sdtryingagain- Sorry for the negative. I know this natural thing is not easy. I hope next month is your month.

Summer- I hope your doing well. Did you do the BETA test anyway?

AFM- Crazy busy 2 days. DD is gone. I am sad, yet so excited for her. To keep myself busy today, I dove into her room and bathroom. Cleaned them from floor to ceiling. I even shampooed her carpet. Reorganized the bathroom and threw out a whole bag of garbage. DH resigned and stared his new job. Want see him tomorrow since he will be working calling clients trying to get all to follow him. Wedding reception was nice too. Awake at 4 a.m. now what to do to not go crazy? DH keeps asking if i feel pregnant. I wish he knew what all these hormones do to your mind and body. It is a constant mind game. Trying to stay positive and make it a third BFP on Monday for the group.

[cosette64]

Hello all, I am sorry for the delay in getting back to you. I needed to take a few days break from thinking about IVF. I am sure you all can understand.

Suzy-Good luck with your test tomorrow! I really hope it goes well. And thank you for the advise of the abbreviations . Where did you live in Italy? Did you learn Italian when you were there? You are right to be proud of your girls! BYU is a great school. My girlfriend really enjoyed her educational experience there and afterward pursued her masters at Harvard... Thanks for your well wishing on your last message too. I was still holding out hope too! Even with a negative pregnancy test on 13dpt and a super heavy period, lol. I picked up my BETA results yesterday morning though, I knew the response, but I was just hoping for a miracle. The miracle will have to come another time.

Sdtryingagain,
I am sorry for this month. I know how frustrating it is! In France we were obligated to do 2 years of TTC naturally before we could even see a specialist (as I was under the age of the 30 at the time). So, I know all about the kits, the BBT, the cervical positions etc, etc. It takes a lot of courage for women like us, you know? Honestly, not all women can keep it up. There has got to be something in perseverance though. I mean, it must count in the end?! Personally, I have limited myself. I have decided I will go through another 3 IVFs maximum. And then if it doesn't work I will throw in the towel. I can see myself happy adopting a beautiful Korean baby for example!
Actually, last September I had told myself that I would give up after this trial. DH was even ready to agree this time. But, this time around the IVF was easier. The stress and my emotions were easier to handle. So, I found the courage to try a few more times. I don't know what happened. Maybe partially it has to do with getting past 30. I always thought I would have kids before I turned 30. And then 30 came and I thought, I have to have kids before I'm 31! Now that that will no longer be an option I feel like I have finally accepted that I will be a more mature mommy when it happens for me. And that is a good thing! Even being a new mom at 40 is a good thing. Yeah, it gets a little more difficult to conceive every year, but with every year we gain wisdom and maturity than can only benefit our parenting, right? And suddenly it doesn't feel as urgent anymore. And I find myself glad that I didn't become pregnant in my 20s. I got to spend my early 20s being independent and learning about myself on my own, my mid to late 20s being spoiled by my wonderful husband and learning how to live as a couple whose lives revolve around one another. I can say that I had it all. So for right now, we continue to lead our worry free lives. We try and take advantage of our "us time". When DH is working in Africa I take advantage of my "me time". Yes, ultimately I believe life will be complete with a child--but since "when" it will it happen is out of our control, we might as well see the glass as half full!
That was pretty much a diary tirade. But, I think many of us probably see things the same way. Wanting a child with all our heart, shouldn't paralyze us from living now. I say this, but it still hasn't stopped us from buying the 3 bedroom house, or painting a forest mural in our child's room, or discussing how we will be switching our tiny MICRA convertible into a more practical minivan within the year. Living in the now is sometimes hard! Though we try!! And we try to transfer that baby lust into something else! We have adopted two cats and two dogs. I used to joke that we got a new animal with every year TTC. That would make 5 this year. But DH won't even let me look at a fish at the pet store anymore!
Okay, I'm finished with my tirade. STtryingagain, I totally understand how you feel when you wanted to throw your boot at the nurse! I have been there so often. Now, I just try and bite my tongue and realize they couldn't possibly understand. How could they. And if I hadn't been through what I have been through, I would probably be clumsy and not know what to say either. Or what not to say. Anyway, stay strong! The perseverance must pay in the end!

Amy and Tinalou! I am very happy for you both!!!! Yay!! I will keep all fingers and toes crossed that those BETA numbers keep going up!!

leorira11, Wow. You have really been through a lot. I am amazed at how strong and positive you remain. Your strength and resolve is inspiring! I wish you a speedy recovery and I hope good things will come your way very soon.

[BlissfulCS]

Hi ladies! Sorry I haven't been around. Been trying to keep up with so much.

Tinalou and Amy- congrats and my best to you both for strong rises.

Sdtrying- I will be thrilled to have you as a cycle buddy. I had some spotting yesterday and today and cramping. AF is due Wednesday but I know my body and my money is on an early arrival. looking forward to getting going soon.

Suzyq- tomorrow is the big day! I have everything crossed and am praying so hard for you. Best of luck.

Summer- sorry it has been a rough go for you so far but I agree that you have a BFP in your near future. For me? $19,000 invested so far this year in my fresh cycle and a down payment on my upcoming FET. But I feel great about my RE and my care. My beautiful DD was transferred to me on a Sunday... Mother's Day in the US. Plus the RE does a lot of testing to rule out obstacles. Still, free sounds really good!

AFM- I have been struggling this time around. I have had to lay off people at work and there is more to come. My boss is a tyrant. My DD is wonderful but she is still a toddler. So I ended up developing TSJ. I hardly slept at all during my last cycle despite acupuncture, massage, and guided meditation. My PC put me on a low dose of valium along with melatonin. Will stop both after transfer, but it seems to be helping. Just waiting for AF and praying for all of you...