Husband not interested in me

[Shareen80s]

Hey, I'm a newbie here and not sure if this is where I should post but need a bit of help and support. Am 40, married 4 years and trying to conceive 7. Had a few failed IVF cycles and as soon as we were referred to clinic it was as if husband thought that meant he could sit back and do nothing. He never wants sex. I know part of this is the clinicism of Ivf but its not just that its been an issue for much longer. His sex drive doesnt match mine anyway but the past two years or so im lucky if we have sex once everwy /4 months. He has passion for nothing, is miserable all the time but says hes not depressed. Never touches or kisses me yet says he loves me. Says he wants a baby but not as much as me as hd already has a child. Hes not gay and isnt having an affair and its not just the pressure of ivf, he has some problems with prem ejaculation (sorry, tmi) but is not bothered enough to try and do anythimg about it. I asked recently if sex was important to him, he took some time before answering *not really*. I am feeling so unwanted, unwomanly and unattractive not to mention hurt that i am constantly rebuffed even tho we are meant to be trying for a baby. i dont know how much longer i can livd like this, i feel ashamed when my girlfriends joke about their husbands pestering them all the time and theyv been married years. Im certainly not going to get pregnant like this but im also worried about my future, i am affectionate and passionate but feel his approach to sex, and life im general is sucking the life out of me amd is hindering my chances to be a mother. I have talked about how this makes me feel time and again, it makes no difference. Is there any hope for our marriage? hes a lovely, kind person but im worried we now have nothing in common. Am so unhappx right now. Sorry to be me me me! Love and good luck to each of you.xx

[rahulkumar123]

good one

[CeciliaT]

Sorry to know what you are going through. It is horrible!
I can't even imagine having to live that way!
Have you both discussed your concerns?
You can always reach a common ground.
Otherwise you can opt for therapy if you still wanna keep your marriage.
If not, you should consider separating or getting divorce. Life is too short to share it with someone who does't fulfill your needs or make you feel appreciated.
Wish you a quick solution!

[Ressia]

I think you need to talk to a guidance counselor because he/she might help you win your marriage from its critical stage. I want to tell you that IVF sometimes fails but you should not quit.