PCOS and IVF with donor egg

[Trisha0]

I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 16. My periods disappeared for a half of the year. Unfortunately, I didn’t pay appropriate attention to this. My mother didn’t care about me. We have never had normal relationships. I was a child and I thought there was nothing serious with me. There was no one I could talk about my problems with health. So I’d done nothing about my disease. Now I understand how stupid it was. I’ve got married 4 years ago. Now I’m 26. We want to have children so much. I don’t know how but I’ve got pregnant 3 years ago. But our happiness lasted only 7 weeks. Then I lost my baby. After this I’ve started my fight with PCOS. I went to one of the best doctors in our city. I made all needed tests and ultrasounds. We’re not really rich people, but we worked hard to save money for pills and treatment. I did all doctors recommendations and never miss pills reception. But all this brought no result. Whatever I do there is no ovulation. My doctor said I need to restore hormonal balance. One more solution is ivf with donor egg. Otherwise I can’t get pregnant. I don’t know how and when this balance will restore. I’m so tired! We spent so much money for these 3 years and nothing gave even a small result! We decided to try de ivf. Now I’m looking for a clinic, where this procedure can be done. I concentrated mostly on European clinics. Prices there are pretty normal. The only problem is how to find reliable clinic among all those amount of them. And also I’ve read some articles about scammers. I’m afraid I can bump into some of them, because it’s new for me and I don’t know all details. Maybe someone here had this procedure in Europe? Which clinic did you choose? What should I consider in my search? I’ll be grateful for any info!

[lanabanana]

Honey, I'm so sorry about your loss. I also have this disease and I know how it feels. I've been in treatment for years. Unfortunately it brought zero result. I'm currently pregnant with twins from donor egg. I should say now I have no feeling my babies are not mine genetically. To be honest I had some doubts. I didn't know how I feel about the procedure... I thought maybe I should wait and try something else and it will help me to get pregnant. But we'd found out that the likelihood of having our own children was practically zero. So ivf with donor egg was our last and only one option. I have a very 'modern' family with step parents/brothers/sisters, half siblings and step nieces and nephews etc. Genetics really means nothing to me. People who raise and love you are your true family. In the beginning my dh wasn't fully on board. We had some very serious arguments about the procedure. But when he found out I was pregnant everything in him changed! The babies I'm carrying are our children and will always be ours. It's such a hard decision to make, I know. Only you will ever know if this's right for you or not as it's not right for some people. I look at it like at usual treatment of infertility. Doctors just help you a little bit. And then you carry/ give birth/ raise - do what usual parents do. We still haven't decided whether or not we'll ever tell the babies about the donor. But we're definitely not telling anyone else how we came to be pregnant. It's only our business. I don't see something super special in it so everyone should know. These babies are mine. I really feel it and I don't make myself to do so) I really hope you will find what you're looking for! If you have some questions, please ask whatever you need)

[Trisha0]

Thank you so much for your response! I congratulate you with your double happiness) I wish you to have a nice&calm pregnancy! I think you have the point here. I don't think somebody needs to know that we've gone through this procedure. It's personal and nobody's business. I agree with you about not telling children about this procedure. This info changes literally nothing. Recently I saw program on tv about children from donor eggs. One girl was looking for a donor, who donated egg to her mother. I can't even imagine how painful this situation is for mother of this girl! She gave everything to this child. She gave her life to maintain and care about this girl. She considered her like her own daughter. And here is gratitude… I'm so scared that same story waits for me. Of course I'll try to do my best. I'm ready to make everything for my baby! Your words make me believe my feelings will also change. I really hope so... I don't want my child to feel that mom doesn't love him/her. I want my journey to start asap. So all these crazy thoughts will just disappear! But I'm stuck. I don't know which clinic to choose. May I ask you where did you have de ivf? It's so hard to find reliable clinic! I'm in my search for a couple of months already. Reviews in the internet are so controversial! So many pros and cons. I'm so confused! I still have no idea where to go. Could you please provide more info about your clinic and services? What did you consider during your search?

[lanabanana]

Thank you so much! So sad story. I think my heart would break in thousand pieces. Poor mother of that girl. I hope they solve this problem and living happily. I'm sure you'll love your baby! Because it will be your child and you will know it and feel it! Sure, you can ask me whatever you need) I'll be glad to help! I know what you're talking about! For me looking for a clinic was one of the hardest and stressing parts. When you think you've finally found what you was looking for, you see some info, which changes your opinion completely. I didn't expect clinics can be so irresponsible! I remember we contacted a couple of clinics. Some of them answered in a week or even more! Some of them didn't answer our questions. Other just ignored us. I think communication with clients should be one of the most important things for clinics. Because their attitude makes the first impression. First communication is decisive. We've chosen Ukrainian clinic Biotexcom. Its manager didn't make us to wait. I advise you to contact clinics directly. Each professional clinic has a website with all direct contacts, services, prices, photos and so on. There are so many fraudsters and you should be very attentive. The main criteria for me were positive reviews, professional doctors and good service. I’ve found a couple of good clinics, 'explored’ each review and each website, where those clinics were mentioned. You should deliberate all pros and cons. We were met in the airport by taxi driver, who was carrying us across Kiev by his car. He was transporting us to the clinic and our apartment, which was also provided by the clinic. We had a manager and she translated everything for us. She spoke language fluently, so there were no misunderstandings. They even provided us with food supply! The only thing which we cared about was de ivf procedure.

[Trisha0]

Thank you so much of all these advices! I'll consider everything you've said in my search. Services of this clinic seem to be good. The clinic counted each detail so foreign patients will be in absolute comfort in another country. They found taxi, translator and housing for you. I never thought clinics provide such services. I really don't know how to find all this by myself. It's seems impossible to find these services without knowing language. I understand they are not for free. How much did you pay for services? How much did the procedure cost you? Did they ask to pay all sum at once? I'm not sure if I be able to give all money right away. Also I think it's a little risky. Did the clinic ask to pay some additional fees? I've heard some clinics demand to pay more in the end of procedure. And the only thing people can do is to pay more. I had some doubts about their medicine. Situation in Ukraine is not stable. They have poor economy. May I ask how much attempts of ivf did you have? And which one was successful? I'll understand if it's too personal and you won't answer. How does this clinic choose egg donors? How can you be sure your donor is healthy and doesn't have some genetic diseases? Did you have opportunity to choose donor by yourself? There are lots of stories of poor couples who suffered because of unhealthy egg donors. Some clinics don't make proper checks. Sometimes babies born with genetic diseases. Such kids should suffer for their whole life. And all this only because of doctors negligence. I'm afraid that clinic will miss something and then aftermath will be horrible.

[lanabanana]

You're right, we felt absolutely comfortable. Though we had some worries about being in foreign country, but thanks to the clinic we were caring only about the procedure. All services were already included in our package. We paid €9 900 for everything. The clinic never asked to pay extra charges. We had 5 attempts. I've got pregnant from 2nd attempt. The clinic returns money in case of 5 failures. So we had nothing to lose and that's why we've chosen this package. They also have packages, which include 1 or 2 attempts. They cost less. And also there was a package with transfer from de ivf to surrogacy. I don't remember all details. You can look through all terms and conditions on their website if you're interested. We didn't pay all money at once! I agree with you, it's too risky. The sum was divided into 2 parts. We paid one half after signing the contract. Then we paid second half during our second meeting. We also had many concerns. At first we were sceptical about Ukraine. Positive reviews convinced us only to go there and check the clinic. We were not sure about signing the contract. They have some photos on their website, but you know, photos may be fake. Such things happen. But our doubts faded away as soon as we saw the clinic, its fancy design and modern equipment. Also seeing so many couples there convinced us, that it's professional clinic, which is popular in the field of reproductive medicine. All requirements to donors were set in our package. Age of all donors is 18-25 yo. All of them should have perfect physical and mental health. The clinic also checks donors and their relatives. They should not have any genetic diseases. We didn't choose donor, but our doctor did. We were told that contact of clients with donor is prohibited by law. But we had an opportunity to provide desired phenotype. So we make a list of features, which we want to see in our donor. We put there desirable hair color, eye color, face and nose shape, etc. In one word we wanted our donor to look like me. Then our program coordinator presented us 3 variants and we chose the most suitable donor for us.

[Trisha0]

Thank you for all this info. It's nice to hear that all services are already counted! I'm not sure I would found all that by myself. I don't know Ukrainian and it seems to me impossible to do that with language barrier. I'm relieved to know that we can pay in parts! That's really great news. I'll definitely check their website. I want to know more about their prices and services. I think we should start choosing the right package. That's very good that the clinic checks both donors and their families. I like the opportunity to give the clinic characteristics, so the child will look like me. No one will tell me that my child looks differently from me. How much time did you visit the clinic? And what was with transportation and housing? I mean the clinic provides all these services during first visit. What about other times? What about medical tests and ultrasounds? Did you have to do them each time in biotexcom? I hope I don't bother you too much)

[lanabanana]

We had 3 visits in frameworks of our procedure. The clinic provided us with accommodation during all our visits. By the way, we were provided with food supply too. Our doctor assigned the treatment plan for us. Also she gave us all needed instructions. We didn't go to biotexcom for ultrasounds and tests! All these we did in our local clinic. Then we just had to send the results to our program coordinator by mail. So there was no extra waste of money) First attendance lasted 2 days. During this visit we had medical examination. Also we were provided with information about the program, organizational and medical parts and terms of the contract. Our second and third visits lasted for 6 days. We had sperm pick-up, fertilization of donor’s eggs and embryo transfer. The clinic never asked to pay more. Thanks to our doctor and all staff everything went good and the procedure was successful.

[Trisha0]

Thanks for your help and support! I think we'll definitely go and check this clinic. I hope our procedure will be successful and smooth as yours. We'll contact the clinic today. I'm not sure wich package we will choose. Maybe their doctor will give us some advice. I appreciate you waste your time to explain everything to me) Thanks a lot!

[beth_brown]

I would suggest BioTexCom in Kiev, Ukraine. Though we have not started yet, we have made up our mind. They are priced reasonable, plus the packages they offer cover multiple attempts. Hope this helps, good luck!

[diana001]

Hi Trisha,
I'm sorry to hear about your failed. But donor eggs are such a blessing! I am now preg (11w5d) with donor eggs. I've had multiple failed IUI's and IVFs.
From my side,there are some non-profit public organization like Happy Family(Surrogacy) and IVF consultant reproductive technologies, medical, legal, ethical and psychological aspects. I hope that helps you somewhat. This board is full of great gals that are very supportive and helpful!

[Millia]

This is a very informative thread! Thank you for creating it. It will help me in my search for sure. I'm in the same boat. I'm 40, no children. Using donor eggs is a very great option for me and my husband to have children. I'm new to donor eggs and I know not much about this process. Thanks to this forum I found many answers. I hope both of us will find everything needed to start the process. We've been trying to conceive for so long. So I hope both of us will have children very soon. It seems to me that de ivf is a very good option. I see so many girls here who used donor eggs and now they are pregnant or have their own kids. This is amazing that nowadays search treatments exist. This is a real salvation for infertile women. At first I had some doubts. But that was just because of my ignorance in this topic. At first I was thinking about such stupid things. I thought my child won't look like me. I thought maybe I won't be able to love my kid because he'll be from a donor. Now I understand it all those things don't even matter. I'll definitely love my kid. I already love my future baby. The only thing which matters is healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. Now that I'm reading about experiences of other women my opinion about donor eggs changed completely. I'm so inspired and motivated to keep going and reach my biggest dream to have children. I know that the procedure may turn out not perfect. I understand that we may face failure. But still I believe in the best. I don't want to think about negative sides and make myself even more depressed. The only thing I want to do now is to find a center or clinic and start my journey. I really hope and believe I will find all answers I need. This board and everyone here give so much support.

[nora253]

Hi Trisha. So sorry to hear about your troubles. IVF in Europe sure is a good idea. I have heard that Spain has some pretty good options. Do look into those. Scammers can be found anywhere. You just need to be careful.Try to base your decision on people's personal experiences.

[xenia]

@nora253 - agree, IVF clinics in Europe offer good treatments at pocket-friendly prices. I came across many positive reviews on IVF clinics in Spain, Cyprus, Greece, Poland and Czech Rep.

[nora253]

Hi there. I am so sorry to hear that. Don't be dejected. I am sure there is a solution out there for you. Consult a fertility specialist first. Maybe there is some way to get your cycle back to normal. Don't jump to IVF directly. Let me know if you want more information.