Want to be a surrogate, need help

peggyriggins · Post by **peggyriggins** » Fri Aug 11, 2017 7:38 am

Hi all, I’m still young 24 and my family is complete. I am looking into being a surrogate and my husband is ok with it, however I don’t know how my family would react. I live in Northern California and should I get in touch with an agency or be an independent surrogate. I am not sure on what to do, it’s my first time. Also, I am in touch with few couples mainly from California who are seeking to host surrogate, however, being pregnant is not something that can be easily hidden I’m getting to know one couple really well, but not really sure what to do. I am starting to panic about how my parents will feel. Also, I think my family will judge me and think that I am doing this for money regardless of the fact that it’s actually illegal for money to be involved except expenses. They have offered me a huge sum to bear their child as they are really desperate to have one. I am se keen to help this couple, really wish I could bypass what other people think. What does everyone else think on this? And also is being independent surrogate better or should I get registered with an agency. Please suggest, help is needed.

bettysanders007 · Post by **bettysanders007** » Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:10 am

2. Hi dear, just thinking about becoming a surrogate takes tremendous courage and empathy so hugs to you. It’s good that your husband is supporting you in this. You should talk to your family regarding this and help them understand as you will need their support this is important. I also feel that you should explain this to the couple you are bonding with the situation as imagine their heartbreak if you decide this cannot happen as you are unsure how your support network will react. Being a surrogate is an amazing thing to do for someone but imagine going ahead without your family’s approval and in case if you became ill or needed rest would they be there to help you and you have other children to consider as well. Above all this is an amazing thing and you would bring so much joy to the future mommy and daddy. Regarding your concern about being independent or going with an agency, I would suggest that you go with the agency. As this is the best method and you will have more chances of being picked up by the couple. Most people considering surrogacy, get in touch with surrogacy agencies to find the match due to less complications. Being an independent, you will have tough time dealing with IP and they will also pay you less as compared to agencies. So going with an agency would be a better choice. Rest is up to you. I hope everything does well for you.

stefanyross · Post by **stefanyross** » Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:13 am

Hi, being surrogate is a serious responsibility, you are offering your time, energy and body to help fulfill less fortunate people to complete their family and in return you get paid. However, as with anything, you need to do your research before jumping in and becoming a surrogate mother is a big decision so you need to make your family understand about it and how it would give immense help to others? Helping your family understand and making them comfortable with the idea is a big part of a successful surrogacy journey. Also being fit and healthy emotionally, physically and mentally are key ingredients to becoming a surrogate. Going with the agency or being independent both have pros and cons. I too have been an independent surrogate and believe me you have to face a lot of difficulties. It is very difficult to deal with IPs and they pay less, you have to hire someone to deal with all your legal aspects which cost money, you are being a surrogate because you need money and cannot afford to pay the fees of advocate. I was living in Delaware at the time, and there were no surrogacy agencies close to where I lived. When I decided to become a surrogate, I didn’t have any choice but to do it myself as an independent surrogate. And I went through an agency for my second surrogacy experience, so I’ve actually experienced both options and have some pretty good insights into the drawbacks and benefits of each. On the other hand being a surrogate with an agency has many benefits, you get better paid and there are more chances of being you picked and all the legal aspects will be taken care by the agency. Hope this helps you.

evadoyle90 · Post by **evadoyle90** » Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:16 am

Hi there, surrogacy is a wonderful experience. The joy of seeing the parents face when they hold their baby for the first time is the moment that is very hard to explain. Surrogacy without an agency is a huge commitment to make, it’s important that all prospective surrogates and intended parents fully understand what this decision will mean for them before they move forward with this path. For most first-time surrogates or intended parents, surrogacy without an agency is not an advisable option. There are so many complex parts of the surrogacy process that, if handled incorrectly or inefficiently, can dramatically affect the outcome of your surrogacy journey — by leading to legal or medical complications that can delay or even stop your surrogacy process entirely. If you’re new to the surrogacy process, surrogacy without an agency may not be the best choice for you. I have been a surrogate for 5 years now and the joy is immense. I’m working with an agency and have been able to provide joy to 2 families. Initially I started out as an independent surrogate but was not able to get in touch with the IPs and when I did they offered less then what I asked for. I then moved on to join an agency and believe me working with agency is far better than being independent. So, you should research and find an agency near you and get yourself registered there. Good luck and God bless you

mistylogan91 · Post by **mistylogan91** » Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:18 am

peggyriggins · Post by **peggyriggins** » Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:26 am

5. Hi all thanks for taking the time and replying to me. It’s good to know that there are so many of us helping people fulfill their dream of having a baby. Kudos to all, keep up the good work. Reading your posts, I realized that I should go with an agency, well I have found a clinic that deals with the program. The clinic said that the intended parents will take care of everything from lawyer to medical expenses and compensation. I am not sure how the compensation works… I guess what I am saying is when I looked at a surrogacy agency website they had a big detailed breakdown of what I could expect. Going through and dealing with the very beginning of this program I have been informed with much less details. Does anyone know if they are roughly the same breakdown? The way I was told this works is...I fill out the application and the middle man (being the fertility clinic) mails it to the possible intended parents. The IP decide whether they want me and if they do they contact me personally and if not my app just gets mailed to the next couple in line. I was also told the compensation and medical expenses will all be decided between me and the IP once I am selected... I guess another reason I am asking is I would like to know what to expect? What is the usual? So I am not so much in the dark or so I have an idea of what is supposed to happen?

Any advice would be great! I know this is a lot to ask but I am sure that if anyone would know it would be a bunch of really great women who have been through this or want to do the same thing. Thank you for your support it has really helped me and my husband with looking into things. As this is really important to me and my husband would love another chance to support me during a pregnancy and what a great pregnancy that would be to give such wonderful gift to another family.

Ghost · Post by **Ghost** » Fri Aug 11, 2017 2:34 pm

The above posts are a fake conversation between sock accounts of the same person creating deceptive advertising for a clinic in the Ukraine.

I would avoid any clinic that advertises so deceptively.

Emily_rose · Post by **Emily_rose** » Tue Oct 03, 2017 6:39 am

peggyriggins wrote:Hi all, I’m still young and my family is complete and my husband is ok with it, however I don’t know how my family would react. Should I get in touch with an agency or be an independent surrogate. I am in touch with few couples who are seeking to host surrogate. I’m getting to know one couple really well, but not really sure what to do. Is being independent surrogate better or what should I do. Please suggest.

Being a surrogate is such a good deed and can help many couples who are struggling with infertility and want baby. There are many couples who are struggling to have baby from very long time but didn't get positive results and surrogacy is best option to enjoy the feeling of parenthood. Moreover, it will help you financially. You can earn very smart salary for being surrogate or you can do it for free. This entirely depends upon you. But before surrogacy you Should undergo some tests to examine your health status. These tests will be done by the clinic or hospital which you approached. If you are healthy enough and physically fit then you can easily apply for surrogacy. Being independent surrogate is better as you have your partner support. I am sure your family will also understand when they come to know what you doing is such a good deed and can help others. So, go for it. Good Luck.