de ivf, share your experience

[hally09]

Hi everyone! I'm new here, I'm 44. Last year I had failed try of IVF with my own eggs. Now doctors say I need to use donor eggs. This is my only chance to become a mother. My husband and I discussed this option. We've been thinking about it for a couple of months now. But both of us feel like we are not mentally ready for this step. It will be a child from a stranger... Kind of... But still it will be my dh baby. I'm confused. How will I feel about this child? Maybe that's just because of the lack of information. Maybe I'm stupid and don't get it right. It would be great to talk to someone who underwent this process and knows the whole procedure. How do you feel now after you were carrying them 9 months and gave birth and they call you "mommy"? What do you feel towards your babies?

[Trisha0]

OP, you think too much! Your baby won't understand that egg is not yours) You should start thinking differently! This will be your child. You will devote your whole life to this baby. You will love this child more than anyone else in the world. To be honest when I had de ivf I had similar thoughts. But my doc said a great thing. "You'll give birth to this child, you will be her mother. She will be only yours and your husband’s child. It's just that you had to go through such a difficult path to achieve this". And I'm grateful for these words. Believe me, when you'll see your baby for the first time you'll forget about donor stuff. My daughter is almost 1 y.o. I don't regret I had de ivf. The most important is I carried her and felt her pushing inside.

[miranda3]

Don't see anything bad in using donor eggs. On the contrary, it's a very helpful procedure for couples, who can't conceive baby by their own. My good friend had de ivf last year. It was her only chance to have a baby! She had 4 miscarriages and a couple of failed IVFs. It was hard for her to believe in success of next procedures. There was only de ivf left. It was her final and only one way out of this vicious circle of infertility. De ivf was successful and now she has a wonderful boy. I've never seen her happier than now!

[hally09]

OP, you think too much! Your baby won't understand that egg is not yours) You should start thinking differently! This will be your child. You will devote your whole life to this baby. You will love this child more than anyone else in the world. To be honest when I had de ivf I had similar thoughts. But my doc said a great thing. "You'll give birth to this child, you will be her mother. She will be only yours and your husband’s child. It's just that you had to go through such a difficult path to achieve this". And I'm grateful for these words. Believe me, when you'll see your baby for the first time you'll forget about donor stuff. My daughter is almost 1 y.o. I don't regret I had de ivf. The most important is I carried her and felt her pushing inside.

Thank you so much for your support! I really needed to hear those words. I'm starting to think about this process differently thanks to such posts as yours. Your doctor is a very wise person! My congratulations with you becoming a mom! I'm so happy to know about your experience! May I ask you a couple of questions? How did you find your donor? What did you consider in your search? I'll appreciate any information!

[hally09]

Don't see anything bad in using donor eggs. On the contrary, it's a very helpful procedure for couples, who can't conceive baby by their own. My good friend had de ivf last year. It was her only chance to have a baby! She had 4 miscarriages and a couple of failed IVFs. It was hard for her to believe in success of next procedures. There was only de ivf left. It was her final and only one way out of this vicious circle of infertility. De ivf was successful and now she has a wonderful boy. I've never seen her happier than now!

Hello! Thank you so much for your kind response. Your words made me feel much better! Now I'm more into the procedure. I still have some thoughts running into my mind. Despite them I feel more confident in to using donor eggs. I’m busy with the search. I should say there is so much information and all of it is so confusing. Also I found out about age limits and it kind of scared me. It turned out that each country has specific age limit for donor eggs recipient. This number varies from 45 to 50 years old. It suddenly crossed my mind that I have no time to waste! I will turn 45 soon. There is no time to think if this option is right for me or if I'm really ready for it. There is no time to waste on doubts and confusions. I talked to my hubby and he also thinks we should go for it.

[Ghost]

It turned out that each country has specific age limit for donor eggs recipient. This number varies from 45 to 50 years old. It suddenly crossed my mind that I have no time to waste! I will turn 45 soon.

The USA has no age limit.

[JessicaJJ]

I'm currently looking for information about ivf with donor eggs, where and how it can be done, etc. I'm 36 yo and I was diagnosed with premature menopause. I'm new to all this donor stuff and I also have some doubts. I was not sure how will I feel about my baby if it's from donor. I read many comments from women who are at the same situation as we are. Knowing that your child is not really yours is very stressing and confusing. I understand that the most important is that you'll carry a baby and give birth. Many ladies who underwent this procedure tell that they don't feel differently toward their kids. But when you are at the very beginning of this path it's hard to percept thoughts about donor right away and ignore your doubts. Some women chose to be childless because they can't even accept an idea of having a baby from donor.

Yesterday I was browsing the internet looking for needed information(as I do last couple of weeks). I found some interesting articles about research on ivf with donor eggs. Scientists made 'amazing discovery' as it's revealed infertile mothers who use donor eggs DO pass their DNA to their children. This discovery was made only a year ago. I think that's amazing! It was previously believed that the fertilised egg used to make the embryo only had DNA from the father and donor mother. 'One sadness infertile women experience is that their child has none of their genetic information.' And this is so true! To be honest when I was told my only option is to use de I was broken. I was always dreaming about big family, about children, about happiness I've never had. I'm an orphan and I've never had loving parents, sisters and brothers. My childhood was not sweet at all. I've been dreaming that when I grow up, I will merry kind and loving man and we'll create family I've never had. When I've got to know I'm infertile I felt so miserable. And even option of having baby through de ivf didn't make me feel better.

The info about this research really inspired me and changed my mood about this procedure. I decided to share it with you. Maybe it will be helpful for other women like us who struggle infertility and scared to accept this option.

[Ghost]

Scientists made 'amazing discovery' as it's revealed infertile mothers who use donor eggs DO pass their DNA to their children. This discovery was made only a year ago. I think that's amazing! It was previously believed that the fertilised egg used to make the embryo only had DNA from the father and donor mother.

Oooh. I don’t believe that is correct. The maternal uterine environment can epigenetically modify the embryonic DNA and therefore modify the gene expression, but it cannot swap embryonic DNA for maternal DNA. Genes can be modified to change if or how they express themselves in the transcriptome, but it remains the same allele as in the egg and sperm. Some genes can be turned on or off this way. By the way, these modifications need not match those present in any of the parents.

I believe you refer to a mouse study from 2015? If it is a different study, please correct me. I hope I am wrong, because that would be a very interesting finding indeed.

[Vikky]

I'm currently looking for information about ivf with donor eggs, where and how it can be done, etc. I'm 36 yo and I was diagnosed with premature menopause. I'm new to all this donor stuff and I also have some doubts. I was not sure how will I feel about my baby if it's from donor. I read many comments from women who are at the same situation as we are. Knowing that your child is not really yours is very stressing and confusing. I understand that the most important is that you'll carry a baby and give birth. Many ladies who underwent this procedure tell that they don't feel differently toward their kids. But when you are at the very beginning of this path it's hard to percept thoughts about donor right away and ignore your doubts. Some women chose to be childless because they can't even accept an idea of having a baby from donor.

Yesterday I was browsing the internet looking for needed information(as I do last couple of weeks). I found some interesting articles about research on ivf with donor eggs. Scientists made 'amazing discovery' as it's revealed infertile mothers who use donor eggs DO pass their DNA to their children. This discovery was made only a year ago. I think that's amazing! It was previously believed that the fertilised egg used to make the embryo only had DNA from the father and donor mother. 'One sadness infertile women experience is that their child has none of their genetic information.' And this is so true! To be honest when I was told my only option is to use de I was broken. I was always dreaming about big family, about children, about happiness I've never had. I'm an orphan and I've never had loving parents, sisters and brothers. My childhood was not sweet at all. I've been dreaming that when I grow up, I will merry kind and loving man and we'll create family I've never had. When I've got to know I'm infertile I felt so miserable. And even option of having baby through de ivf didn't make me feel better.

The info about this research really inspired me and changed my mood about this procedure. I decided to share it with you. Maybe it will be helpful for other women like us who struggle infertility and scared to accept this option.

Hello Jessica! This's very interesting information I should say! Thank you for sharing it with us. I'm pregnant and I used donor eggs. I know what doubts you're talking about. I had them too. I think all women who choose de ivf as an option have doubts and uncertainty. It took me more than a year to decide if I really ready to go this way. My husband was 100% positive about de ivf option. Why wouldn't he, right? There is nothing to worry about for him. It will be his child with his features and his blood. But for me it was tough decision. I knew baby won't be genetically related with me. I knew the baby might even not look like me. To be honest I was scared... I was thinking up scenarios like someone telling me that my child has nothing similar with me. I thought everyone will know for sure that I'm not a real mother of a baby. Now all these thoughts seem so ridiculous to me! I was so happy when pregnancy test showed positive result. And I was so happy when doctor confirmed it. All thoughts about donor eggs, doubts, dumb scenarios just faded away! This is my child and I'm his/her mother! Nothing else matters. I didn't know about this research at that period of time. I think it would make me decide on the procedure right away. Information about this research should be spread on each fertility forum. Many women refuse de ivf option because they think they won't be able to love a baby from another woman. Speaking about appearance problem, we sent a list to our manager with features which we wanted our donor to have. We put there description of my appearance, so our doctor chose donor who looks like me.

[JessicaJJ]

Hello Jessica! This's very interesting information I should say! Thank you for sharing it with us. I'm pregnant and I used donor eggs. I know what doubts you're talking about. I had them too. I think all women who choose de ivf as an option have doubts and uncertainty. It took me more than a year to decide if I really ready to go this way. My husband was 100% positive about de ivf option. Why wouldn't he, right? There is nothing to worry about for him. It will be his child with his features and his blood. But for me it was tough decision. I knew baby won't be genetically related with me. I knew the baby might even not look like me. To be honest I was scared... I was thinking up scenarios like someone telling me that my child has nothing similar with me. I thought everyone will know for sure that I'm not a real mother of a baby. Now all these thoughts seem so ridiculous to me! I was so happy when pregnancy test showed positive result. And I was so happy when doctor confirmed it. All thoughts about donor eggs, doubts, dumb scenarios just faded away! This is my child and I'm his/her mother! Nothing else matters. I didn't know about this research at that period of time. I think it would make me decide on the procedure right away. Information about this research should be spread on each fertility forum. Many women refuse de ivf option because they think they won't be able to love a baby from another woman. Speaking about appearance problem, we sent a list to our manager with features which we wanted our donor to have. We put there description of my appearance, so our doctor chose donor who looks like me.

You're welcome! I'm happy this info is as helpful as it was for me when I've just found it. My congratulations with your pregnancy! This is so nice to talk to someone who understands what I feel! You're reading my mind. My dh has no doubts at all! Oh dear I'm reading your words and it seems like it was me who wrote them! I feel totally the same now. You're right, this research made me to look at this procedure with new eyes. Thank you so much for your reply! Your words are so inspiring. Now I feel even more confident in this decision and I hope we'll start our journey asap! I really hope to see more updates from you about your condition and your baby! And of course I’d like to know more about the exact process, search of a clinic and the clinic itself. I really hope for your help! And again thank you for support.

[JessicaJJ]

Scientists made 'amazing discovery' as it's revealed infertile mothers who use donor eggs DO pass their DNA to their children. This discovery was made only a year ago. I think that's amazing! It was previously believed that the fertilised egg used to make the embryo only had DNA from the father and donor mother.

Oooh. I don’t believe that is correct. The maternal uterine environment can epigenetically modify the embryonic DNA and therefore modify the gene expression, but it cannot swap embryonic DNA for maternal DNA. Genes can be modified to change if or how they express themselves in the transcriptome, but it remains the same allele as in the egg and sperm. Some genes can be turned on or off this way. By the way, these modifications need not match those present in any of the parents.

I believe you refer to a mouse study from 2015? If it is a different study, please correct me. I hope I am wrong, because that would be a very interesting finding indeed.

Here's the link, dear http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... ldren.html

[hally09]

I'm currently looking for information about ivf with donor eggs, where and how it can be done, etc. I'm 36 yo and I was diagnosed with premature menopause. I'm new to all this donor stuff and I also have some doubts. I was not sure how will I feel about my baby if it's from donor. I read many comments from women who are at the same situation as we are. Knowing that your child is not really yours is very stressing and confusing. I understand that the most important is that you'll carry a baby and give birth. Many ladies who underwent this procedure tell that they don't feel differently toward their kids. But when you are at the very beginning of this path it's hard to percept thoughts about donor right away and ignore your doubts. Some women chose to be childless because they can't even accept an idea of having a baby from donor.

Yesterday I was browsing the internet looking for needed information(as I do last couple of weeks). I found some interesting articles about research on ivf with donor eggs. Scientists made 'amazing discovery' as it's revealed infertile mothers who use donor eggs DO pass their DNA to their children. This discovery was made only a year ago. I think that's amazing! It was previously believed that the fertilised egg used to make the embryo only had DNA from the father and donor mother. 'One sadness infertile women experience is that their child has none of their genetic information.' And this is so true! To be honest when I was told my only option is to use de I was broken. I was always dreaming about big family, about children, about happiness I've never had. I'm an orphan and I've never had loving parents, sisters and brothers. My childhood was not sweet at all. I've been dreaming that when I grow up, I will merry kind and loving man and we'll create family I've never had. When I've got to know I'm infertile I felt so miserable. And even option of having baby through de ivf didn't make me feel better.

The info about this research really inspired me and changed my mood about this procedure. I decided to share it with you. Maybe it will be helpful for other women like us who struggle infertility and scared to accept this option.

Hello Jess! I'm so sorry you faced such diagnosis in such a young age. You are right! The only thing, which stops women from using donor eggs, is understanding that their baby will be not related to them. I should say thinking about this was driving me crazy. When I read about women experience and how they are happy after using donor egg I feel more confident in this procedure. They say they don't feel their baby is from a donor or something like that. And this is the most important to feel that baby is yours and only yours.

Thank you so much for sharing this research with us! I've never heard about it. I think this research changes everything! It will help women like us to forget about all doubts for sure! Do you have a link for the research you’ve mentioned? I would like to read more about it. I'm really grateful for your reply because you made me to look at the whole procedure even more positively!

How is your search going? Do you know in which country you will have de ivf? I'm still in search though I decided to concentrate on European clinics. I should say I am nervous a bit. I will turn 45 a very soon. As you might know all countries have their own age limits for the procedure. For me it's much harder to find suitable clinic. Still there are some options so I will dig more to find the best one. I wish you best of luck! It would be really nice if you continue to share updates of your search.

[hally09]

Hello Jessica! This's very interesting information I should say! Thank you for sharing it with us. I'm pregnant and I used donor eggs. I know what doubts you're talking about. I had them too. I think all women who choose de ivf as an option have doubts and uncertainty. It took me more than a year to decide if I really ready to go this way. My husband was 100% positive about de ivf option. Why wouldn't he, right? There is nothing to worry about for him. It will be his child with his features and his blood. But for me it was tough decision. I knew baby won't be genetically related with me. I knew the baby might even not look like me. To be honest I was scared... I was thinking up scenarios like someone telling me that my child has nothing similar with me. I thought everyone will know for sure that I'm not a real mother of a baby. Now all these thoughts seem so ridiculous to me! I was so happy when pregnancy test showed positive result. And I was so happy when doctor confirmed it. All thoughts about donor eggs, doubts, dumb scenarios just faded away! This is my child and I'm his/her mother! Nothing else matters. I didn't know about this research at that period of time. I think it would make me decide on the procedure right away. Information about this research should be spread on each fertility forum. Many women refuse de ivf option because they think they won't be able to love a baby from another woman. Speaking about appearance problem, we sent a list to our manager with features which we wanted our donor to have. We put there description of my appearance, so our doctor chose donor who looks like me.

Hi Vikky! My congratulations to you and your dh! I'm so glad you joined us! I really wanted to talk to someone who used donor eggs. I'm so relieved to hear that I'm not the only one who was uncertain about the procedure. Now my husband is fully on board. He thinks that it is perfect option for us. This's so true that it's much easier for men to accept the idea of having a baby from a donor. I'm reading your post and I recognize my thoughts! Even now when I feel more confident in the procedure I still build up scenarios in my head. I'm really happy for you! I'm so relieved to know that your thoughts and feelings changed now when you’re pregnant. May I ask you some questions about your journey? How did you find your clinic? What should we pay attention to? How much tries of ivf did you have? It would be nice if you share some information and advices!

[hally09]

Hello everyone who is following my thread! I'm sorry I wasn’t active for a while. Last couple of weeks I was really busy. I should say I wasn't in a mood to post anything as I was feeling a little bit stressed. I had to visit two baby showers in last two weeks. That's crazy how many baby showers I visited during all these years! But I didn't have my own which makes me so sad. At first I thought not to go but the idea that very soon I might have my own baby shower gave me strength. Also the hardest part of it is to choose presents. I should say it can be very painful. And also usually people talk about their children on such events. I should say everything which considers baby shower is hard for me now. How do you cope with pregnancy announcements and baby showers? What give you strength to go through that? I should say for me it was always hard. I think I will be able to enjoy such parties only when I'll have my own child.

[Vikky]

You're welcome! I'm happy this info is as helpful as it was for me when I've just found it. My congratulations with your pregnancy! This is so nice to talk to someone who understands what I feel! You're reading my mind. My dh has no doubts at all! Oh dear I'm reading your words and it seems like it was me who wrote them! I feel totally the same now. You're right, this research made me to look at this procedure with new eyes. Thank you so much for your reply! Your words are so inspiring. Now I feel even more confident in this decision and I hope we'll start our journey asap! I really hope to see more updates from you about your condition and your baby! And of course I’d like to know more about the exact process, search of a clinic and the clinic itself. I really hope for your help! And again thank you for support.

I believe this information will definitely help many women here to mentally accept the idea of using eggs of a donor. I think that such communities really help to go through infertility struggles. No one can understand us batter then women who faced problems in trying to conceive. I'm glad that my experience can help someone in their journey. I will keep posting! And if you have any questions please feel free to ask. I'm always ready to talk and help. I will share more information and answer your questions in your thread. I wish you best of luck with your search and of course good luck with your upcoming procedure!