not pregnant...again

[kira099]

I thought for sure I was pregnant this time. Just felt so different… So when af showed up it was a big letdown. I’ve been crying off and on for three days now. I think I’m suffering from depression. I’m crying just typing this… I’m so scared that I’ll never get pregnant. I’m afraid we’ll have to use donor eggs. I’m so not ready for this! I doubt if we’ll be able to afford it. So many thoughts on my mind which make me scared of my future. I want a baby sooo bad! It breaks my heart that I can’t have one. I just need someone who knows what I’m going through help me back on my feet. No one at home knows how I feel. Seems like I have no one to talk to, not even my dh. He feels bad for me but it doesn’t affect him the way it does me. I feel like crawling in a hole and hiding from the world...

[Estellla]

I am so sorry for what you are going thru... Just curious though...How long have you been ttc? I can understand how you feel. This is really hard to move on to the next phase. Both emotionally and physically… And it’s so expensive and not affordable... I will keep you in my prayers.... The good news is you still have options! I know this is hard but try to read more about de ivf. I’m sure the more you know about it, the less fear you’ll feel about de. I meet a lot of girls on the board who used de/thinking about this option. I’m sure you can easily find info about the ivf itself and also prices and affordable options. I’m sure the whole thing is not that scary as it seems to you know. Just try and stay positive!!!

[SaRaaa]

I am so sorry you can’t conceive. I am just getting my AF this month and it's always so depressing. Men just don't get it! I tried clomid for two months but got really frustrated that it did not work for us. So, I started to push my physician, asking what else can be wrong. He told me endometriosis can be the problem. I was so frustrated after 2 years of ttc that I had a surgery to see if I in fact have endo. The surgery found no endo but lots of scar tissue that was preventing conception on both sides. I guess the best advice I can give you is to check if endo or something like that is causing infertility since clomid cannot solve that. Clomid is affordable but was not helping me since an egg could not even get to my tubes. Many insurers do not cover fertility treatment but will cover testing and endometriosis treatment. I hope you get that BFP soon.

[Millia]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I completely understand where you are right now. I have had three failed IVFs, IUI and/or clomid were not options for us, so IVF is our only option. After three failed attempts supposedly the chance for success is greatly reduced. After my second failure I was no doubt depressed. I cried for days. I didn't go to work for a week and stayed in bed just about the whole time. I basically did the bare minimum just to "look" like I was working from home. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder what you say you are scared of "Will I have a baby." But I have to believe that one day I will. I know this not a cheer you up pep talk. But I wanted to let you know that I do understand how you feel. I can only say that it gets easier to deal with on a daily basis as time goes by. Today was a particular terrible day for me. One of those days that remind me what a crappy situation this is to be in. You've got a great chance to have a baby through de. So keep some faith that your baby is still making its way to you.

[kira099]

Thank all of you ladies for your support. It means the world to me. When I need someone to talk to, or someone to let me cry on their shoulder. Even though you’re not here with me. You’re more here than anyone else... I don’t know any of you but I love all of you. I would feel so alone without you guys. Again, thank you.

[xenia]

Hi, I am sorry you are going through this. I would recommend seeing yr doc and dig deeper to know the reasons why you can't get pregnant. You might also consider undertaking additional steps such as changing your life style or diet, taking vitamins and doing acupuncture or mesotherapy to ovaries. Wish all the best xx

[pagerelvia33]

I am sorry!!!
Oh, I know so well what it is like to feel you have miscarried. I have been through this 5 times in a row. Now I am doing so much better. But it took years of therapy to deal with all of it. I am sure your man is really supportive. I encourage you to not feel down. Do not be upset. Yes, it is not something that'd make you happy. But you'll get there eventually!
I did. Our surrogate is almost pregnant. Fingers crossed her pregnancy test shows a BFP. I know that they will do the blood work and not an actual pregnancy test, so we will know for sure.
I am really happy our carrier is already at this stage of the program. It was a fast upgrade I must say. We did not expect things to escalate this quickly. We were told that SMs are usually matched in 3-4 months. But she was matched much much quicker. To our huge surprise.
We do not know what to think about it. She is also a very beautiful woman. We are really happy that she is the one. And are relieved even. We did not like that we did not have a choice. But we did not want to pay 10 times more for surrogacy. We decided to sign with the World Center of Baby, a Ukrainian agency. Just to reduce the financial burden. And now we are as happy as we have never ever been. And I am not exaggerating.