Just want to share.

[ChicagoKelly]

I found this link about infertility... and thought the presentation was beautiful. It says it so well and although it made me cry it also made me feel very peaceful. I hope you enjoy.

http://www.vocalicious.com/empty_arms/e ... s_mod.html

[ogr1]

you where right. this was s beautiful.
where ever did you find it?
thank you so much for sharing this.
yhank you ,becky

[alicia]

Kelly,

Thank you SO much for posting this link. It is beautiful and says everything I feel but could never really explain to my non-infertile friends and relatives.

There was a block party on my street today, but we didn't go. Every single other household in my neighborhood has children except for us and the lesbian couple. I don't think they went either. To me, the worst thing about infertility is the social isolation. That's why I love this board so much.

Thanks to all of you for being here.

Alicia

[ChicagoKelly]

Becky:

My best friend is 2ww and I can't get her off my mind. I've been doing tons of google searches to find out as much as possible about ivf. That's how I found this board. I just did a google search and found that presentation. I feel so useless not being able to help or make my friend feel better. Only a positive result will help end her six years of despair. But somehow in my mind I feel if I put in the time and make connections and learn about every possible option I will be able to offer her something.

[AMITHIS]

That was a really well done presentation. I especially liked how it kept bringing up the "this is our journey....so far" because this really does sometimes seem like a never ending process for so many of us.

Alicia, I know exactly how you must have felt regarding the block party. I also live on a street where every single household has children except for us. Boy, did we ever pick the wrong street to live on! When we first moved here, there was one other couple around our ages without children across the street from us. Since they had been married for several years, I was actually starting to think that maybe they had the same problem we did.....but she just had a baby. I've made excuses for anything we've been invited to. I tried being sociable and going to a few things when we first moved here but all the women seemed to talk only about their children (I guess since that was something they all shared in common) so I felt pretty uncomfortable. Anytime, I tried to change the subject to something else (music, books, shopping, etc.), it just got steered back to their children within a matter of minutes. Do you have any couples that you're friends with which don't have children? I wish we did but haven't found anyone since moving.

Staci

[alicia]

Staci,

I am so sorry to hear you haven't met other couples without children. I've enjoyed meeting very young couples and older ones, but most our age do have them and it's true - it's all they talk about. Luckily we have some friends without kids through DH's work. They don't want children, either - can you imagine? Also we have some young couple friends - my husband is only 31 - who are not ready for children yet. But our best is actually a bachelor I met at my old job, who we go to restaurants with and explore San Francisco and the wine country.

Since I found out about my infertility, I've been fascinated by couples older than 40 who don't have children. What is their life like? What do they do for fun? What are their friends like and how do they socialize? I've found that all of them have full, exciting, even glamorous lives. They travel, cook from scratch, garden and go out with friends a lot. Lives a lot like what I would choose for us! So that's been a really good experience. It gives me a lot of hope that children or none, life goes on and can really be rich and meaningful.

I like to think of infertility treatment as just an awkward stage - kind of like being a teenager. We just don't know what our life will be yet, but I think it will be good either way.

Alicia

[AMITHIS]

Alicia,

That was very well put. I had never really thought of things like that; it is a really good way to look at things. I think part of my problem is that, after giving up my job when we moved, I feel like I don't have a real life of my own (not that my job was anything I was passionate about anyway but at least I felt like I was doing something). Having children has sort of been my only focus lately and, if that falls through, I honestly don't know what I'll do with myself at this point. It's something I've been avoiding thinking too much about since, of course, I want to believe I will eventually be successful. So, you're right in the sense that I almost feel like I did in high school...very uncertain of what the future holds and somewhat powerless to exert any kind of control over it.

Anyway, thanks for your thoughts on this. It was encouraging even to hear there are people out there without children who do live happy, fulfilling lives.

Staci

[alicia]

Staci,

When I quit my job to persue infertility tmt, I started taking sewing classes at the community college. That let me to take other Fashion Design classes. Now I work part time in a boutique. It's hardly any money, but really is a nice diversion and gives me enough pocket money to buy clothes.

I would encourage you to consider a community college course, since they are very cheap, low stress, and they offer fun things like interior design, art, and film courses. Also, depending how the tmt went, I felt like I could drop the classes without feeling bad about it. It sure has opened up some interesting possibilites for me - and bonus I met a lot of other women with infertility in my classes!

Alicia

[AMITHIS]

Alicia,

That's actually an excellent idea. I'm going to look into our community college class schedule today as I should be just in time to register for the Fall session.

Thank you!

Staci

[alicia]

Staci,

That's awesome! I hope you find something good!

Alicia