Twin mums-PLEASE help

[helenlouise]

Not yet 5 days old and i wonder how long we can cope for. 3 hourly feeds which take an hour. I am trying to express and bottle feed as they are no good at latching on. How does anyone see the light at the end of the tunnel? How do you cope alone feeding them both when partner goes back to work?

Please comment ladies, i can't stop crying.

[Jules R]

Hi Helen

My immediate thought is to advise you to stop expressing. It must be taking up time when you've not got a lot of time to do anything. I had problems with Daniel latching on and we moved him to formula after a fortnight. I cried constantly for days because of the guilt but it proved to be the best decision for him and us - he went from being a weak, miserable baby to a bonny, happy baby in just a few days ... and I felt much happier for not struggling with the feeding.

As for the length of feeds, I started to restrict how long they fed for after a short time because I'm sure that they filled up on what they needed fairly quickly and then stayed around slowly feeding for comfort. So I kept the feeds to about 20 minutes to half an hour. I was feeding them both separately but if both your boys are on bottles, you should be able to feed them together either resting in a position on you or in bouncy chairs.

I remember the feeling that I needed to do everything by the book - I think that we were still trying to do that until Daniel and Charlotte were about 18 months - but it's impossible when you've got to find time for two little ones and you and hubby. So you need to think about what's best for all of you and cut out the things that you think you ought to do but are actually not completely necessary. If that means a messy house, microwave meals or feeding the babies in front of the TV so that you can have a bit of chill time (which is what I did), then that's not the end of the world.

Take care and do e-mail me if you need a cry/moan.

Jules

[alisonn]

helen, sorry to hear u are having such a tiring time, im afraid i cannot
comment as my little one is not due for another 5 wks, but i
can imagine, it must be so difficult and tiring looking after two, and
its only natural about crying, with all those hormones going round
inside you and the fact u must be exhausted, do u have family nearby,
dont be afraid to ask for help from your friends, everyone im sure
will be so willing to help even if its for a couple of hours so u can have
a rest.
My sister in law wasnt to good after the birth of her first
but she got some daily help in for a few weeks from the
Mothers-Care Doulas which might be worth looking at, their webb
page is www.mothers-care.co.uk they come in for as long as u like
help with the feeding, washing shopping.
Dont be afraid to ask for help, and im sure every day will get a little
better. alisonnx

[Mags]

I have to agree with Jules, I stopped expressing at 6 weeks ( I had Dh at home) as neither of mine would latch on - there is no guilt to feel with giving formula - your babies benefit from having a ralexed and happy mummy.

Amelia and Jacob were on 4 hourly and this could take over an hour and at 4am this was no joke, but at 10 weeks I put them on the contented little baby routine and they went though the night on the second day, this does not suit everyone but I know Sarah30 uses it with Lucy and Matthew.

Make sure you get YOU time and relax sod the house work.

Love Mags
xxx

[Tracey S]

Oh Helen just a quickie before the 10 feed! Emily would not latch on until I hand expressed some colustrum (no good for you know) and pipette fed her in hospital and next time got some on the nipple ready for her - now she is fine. Alice would lie all day sucking she is a nightmare. What I do is rugby ball them and feed them att he same time if I can - not always! I have recently started to massage my breasts more to stop the engorgement and this helps the milk flow. I tend if possible to take them off after half and hour - if they want to then get back on as hungry then fine but seem not to bother - I say this as only really worked yesterday!
I have expressed once but it's so hard with feeding all the time you get no sleep so not doing it for a few more days - will then try and express to get one bottle for each for dh to do at 10pm
Loads of love
Tracey
xxx

[NickyJ]

Helen,

Ahhh memories!!! I managed to express for 5 weeks after we got home, but did have Dh on hand!! and wish I had just to gone bottles sooner, as it is the most overwhelming guilt tht keeps you going, My two thrived on the formula after that so like aunty Jules says...just do what is best for yu. Seemingly it is only the first three days which are vital everything else is a bonus!!!

My Dh and I took alternate nights, whoever was on duty did all the feeds and slept in their room, I knwo it didn't seem fair as he was working but at least both of us got a good nights slep every second night, and we too swear by the contented baby book. Don't follow it to the letter, just follow the basic principles and within three weeks we had Rebecca sleeping 8 hours solid and Ross only waking once really quick feed and back to sleep. It meant I could take over all night feeds except at weekends and beforee we knew it we had 12 hours and have done since!!!

I know it feels like a never ending cycle but honestly it does get easier and you will survive it....and my god it si so worth it. And sod the housework and entertaining visitors you take all the help offered and try to squeeze in 10 minutes a day you time...and grab any sleep you can!!!

But for my number one tip. Take them out for walk in the pran at least once a day...preferable somewhere with people...because
a) you get exercise lose weight and feel better
b) It helps them get in a routine and you get peace and best of all
c) You get loads of people stopping and admiring them and telling you what a hard job it is but how great you must be doing!!!!

Sending you a huge hug
Nicky

[Wibbs1]

Hi

Firstly can I say STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP, lots of babies have bottles, at least they have had some of mummy milk, expressing takes just as long as it would to put them on the boob, so you can't be getting any rest time...!!!!
With Joshua he was so hungry and feeding every 2 hours I gave him both he had mummy milk one feed then I would give him formula for the next feed so I could rest and build up milk supply, I know that the HV do not recomend this, but they are not up all sodding night feeding, I gave aptimil as this is the close's to mummy milk. In the end I only feed him on the boob for one month, then after many tears.....and guilt I put him on the bottle, he's now 13lb 11 and only 12 weeks so he's not doing to bad, life is much easier and other people can now help with feeding time so you can get some rest and go and have a long hot bath with a glass of wine......so it does have it's advantages.

Good Luck
Love Wibbs & Joshua

[DebraP]

Hi, just to echo some of the above.

Be kind to yourself right now. YOU must make the decisions. Do what you feel is right and try to ignore any pressure to keep feeding/expressing if it's meaning you get no sleep/rest/downtime.

Like Wibbs, I had problems with my single baby. It felt like a nightmare. Where was the blissful dozing mummy in a rocking chair with a happily slurping then burping baby? Not in our house. It was a screaming, angry, constantly hungry baby and a tired, crying, useless feeling, mastitis-ridden mummy. I lasted 3 weeks and then swtiched to formula and she transformed overnight. I felt very guilty (everyone bfs here and formula isn't discussed) but knew it was the right thing to do. Suddenly I had a full, happy baby. End of story.

I hope things are going a little better for you today. Don't give yourself a hardtime, you've a huge job to do. Take it one day and one decison at a time.

love
Debra.

[Lisa Ch]

Helen

my boys are 6 weeks tomorrow, I tried to breast feed and it didn't work for me, only tried for about 24 hours though!!! They are thriving on the bottle I don't feel guilty (because I havent got time to) but they are also feeding more often especially at night and taking longer to settle. We are just trying out different things to see what works. When I am on my own and they are both due a feed I feed one until I wind him, then feed the other until winding and then go back to the first and continue. Sometimes it means that one baby cries for a while - quite a while sometimes but I just live with that and stroke their body and talk to them while feeding the other baby.

Some nights we feel like the conveyor belt never stops and the feeding is constant. Sleep/rest/have a bath etc as much as you can. You could put them in chairs in the bathroom with you. If people offer help take it and let them take them out in the pram etc to give you a break and GO TO BED. don't to the washing up!!!!

It is hard work and very demanding, but this time will pass. Keep smiling : and take care.

With love
Lisa, Thomas and Ben xxx

[Helen Reid]

Hi Helen
Congraulations on the birth of your boys.
I am trying to get caught up have not been able to get on for ages.
I am breast feeding baby Duncan, but i am expressing and giving him it in a bottle as i felt he was not getting enough as he was feeding every 2 hours. He is now on baby rice before bed as well, i knoe he is only 9 weeks but he ia a very hungry boy.

Hope your loving being a mum

Helen