Surrogacy

[ChicagoKelly]

I don't know if any of you have read my previous posts about my bestfriend who has been ttc for 6 years and had failed IVF treatments. Well this past Friday she found out her second IVF attempt didn't work. It's been weighing on mind heavily and I've been doing a lot of research on Gestational Surrogacy. I haven't mentioned anything to her or my husband about it... because I don't know how I feel about. Please don't judge me but I'm unsure I could carry a baby for 9 months then hand it over (even though it wouldn't be my baby technically I still don't know if I could or would be able to do it). So today the strangest thing happened... I was at the park with my daughter and I met another Mommy and her 20 month old son. She said she also had 7 week old twins. I told her she looked great for just having babies. She said she didn't have them a surrogate did!! Her best friend carried her son and another friend carried the twins. Okay --- ALL THE HAIRS ON MY BODY STOOD UP. Surrogacy really isn't that common and to run into someone who not only had one but three babies this way is more than a coincidence. So I told her about my girlfriend and the woman gave me her phone # and said to have my friend call her if she wants. Shari is on vacation so I don't want to bother her... besides I want to give her time to grieve the failed IVF. She has however mentioned that her SIL offered to be a surrogate but she was unsure she would want her to carry her babies (they have issues I don't want to bore you with) So what do you think? Strange, isn't it???

[alicia]

Kelly,

How strange that you should run into that woman in the park just now! I don't know anything about surrogacy, myself. I would be too afraid of all the legal issues, I think.

Just be really carful about mentioning this to your friend. We can be really raw and irrational after a failed IVF, especially with the hormones wearing off and all. Take a good long time about it, and see if she might mention it first.

You are such a sweet friend for sticking with her through this and taking an interest in it. It must make her feel much less alone.

Alicia

[ChicagoKelly]

Trust me -- I'm taking a good long hard look at it and don't plan on mentioning anything until I know 100% that I could be emotionally ready for this. Besides it's not my decision alone I would like my husbands input too! Shari is on a much needed vacation with her husband for the week. Prior to this last failure we have spoken about her other options if the IVF thing doesn't work. Like I said her SIL and a even a co-worker offered but she said she's unsure and doesn't feel close enough to either of them. There was an akward pause where I felt I should have said I'll do it... but I could never say that unless I could really do it. She is most likely going to do a 3rd attempt at IVF. Her husband isn't ready to talk adoption yet. I just find is so strange that I ran into this lady at the park since the last few days I've been so focused on surrogacy. I don't want to sound hoky but I feel like the universe spoke to me. Maybe even if I don't do this for my friend I've met someone who could guide her if she does decide to go this route.

[Traci]

perhaps before you offer you should ring the ivf clinic and have a chat for your ownpeace of mind cause my cousin donated eggs to me and I tell you they go through everything , things you never would have thought off , this way if there is any dout then you wouldnt let your friend down if its not for you also your dh could go another time with you before also so it would be 100% comitted before anything is mentioned then if she doesnt want this avenue she will think of you as the best friend ever for even thinking about it not alone seeking out information ............Just a thought

Trace x

[ogr1]

when our son died and we found out that i would most likely never be able to carry full term, my sister in-law offered to caring our child.
she and her husband had talked about it and it touched me very much that she would make such an offer.
but at this time it isnt something that we can do. one i was so carful in what i ate and i think that i would driver her nuts making sure that she would do everything the same way that i would have done it.
but the offer was very hartfelt and i will always be very thankful for her.
it is great that you have been such a good friend to her.
becky