took the wee man to get weighed today - 15lb 4oz. Finally started weaning him and boy, does he like pudding!!! tried him on mixed vegetables today for the first time, so I'm looking forward to tomorrow's nappies
Well I am trying to stay strong and hold my head high when the going gets tough but its not easy. He's said very hurtful things to me and I'm not saying I have just listened because I can be a ***** when I want to be but I didn't ask for any of this what has happened. It was our wedding anniversary yesterday and not one of his family brought us a card. I didn't buy one for Lee but he didn't know that and do you know he didn't buy one for me. He did say he had one and it was in the works van so if he had one for me then he would of give it me. I can't take it anymore its a disaster and why should I? I can't believe its hapening though to be honest its just so hard to have to deal with especially with alex being so young. He did say he will stay until alex is 8 and then he will up and leave how could I live with that. I want Alex to have a brother or sister maybe one day and he's made it clear to me he doesn't want anymore children with me.
Zoe - Alex is doing ok, he is 18lb 10oz now and he likes his solids too, he likes mashed banana mmmm bless him. Sam is doing so well, you will have to send me a recent photo and I will do the same with Alex.
Trace - Thanks for saying I can mail you, I just go and on and on and you could do without this at the minute. How are you feeling though?
8!! you could never put up with a situation for that long. 8 months would be long enough. As Alex grows he will sense the tension and that would surely be worse for him. It sounds as if you need to make a life for you and Alex and be a very strong person, rather than put up with a frankly awful situation.
Things need sorting out, and probably the sooner you start finding out exactely where you stand legally the sooner you will start to feel more in control and thus become stronger. You have a right to a decent life, not one filled with rows and compromises.
Take care of you and Alex
Helen
-------------------
me 33, DP 35
ICSI cycle Nov 2003, tested positive.
I can,t believe him! you need to bite the bullet - he either wants to stay or not.
I am ok but getting impatient. You can ring,text,email me any time ok?
Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
Hi Shell,
I just checked this thread and was quite shocked to discover how you've been treated. I feel for you, having gone through divorce twice (initiated by me, I must admit), it's is such a time of feeling lost and not knowing where you went wrong! But I just don't believe anyone should be allowed to treat another person like Lee has been treating you and especially the things he's said to you make me furious! Be strong and take care of yourself and Alex, if Lee cannot appreciate you, there are others who would love you the way you deserve! I wish I could come by and just talk to you - but the Netherlands is far and I am getting heavy with the twins . I remember you were so cheerful and welcoming when I first joined the board anod cannot believe time has passed so quickly and I am as far as 29 weeks now! Yours was the first birth I heard of on this forum and it made me so happy how things worked out for you! and they will again, one way or another!
lots of love,
Juliana
Its just wonderful to know how you all care, I know I have not been myself lately and I am so sorry for it I really am. I know you all understand why I ain't been myself and I do try very hard to be bubbly but I just end up back down. I know one day I will come bouncing back. I am trying so hard to be strong and face up to everything. I am just so scared, I love Lee more then anyone in the world would know and he is my world (along with Alex) but I can't go on, if Lee doesn't want to be with me then I have to let him go. I asked what is the problem he just said that we just get along (don't people do that when they get married) he said I never want to do the same things he would like to do (camping) I am petrified of spiders I really am (skiing) I just never wanted to do it. How can I do things that I would hate!! he wanted me to do these and I couldn't and now he holds it against me.
I feel such a failure you know girls I have been engaged before was with him for 6 years and that ended but that was an agreement between us both we was both so young and now a failed marriage, I think is it me???
I think I need to say sorry to Marcus as well for what I have been going on about (SORRY MARCUS) I know this is a site for infertility and I do use it for it most of the time. The girls on here have been wonderful and I really don't know how I would be if I didn't have these to chat too.
shell, can i just say, u are not a failure, i think everyone understands
how difficult a time u are having, but have to agree with the girls
the longer u stay with him the more confidence u will loose, just
think u have surived the ordeal of ivf and have put up with your
hurtful husband. Yes i can understand u still love him, but pls believe
me u will find happiness again with someone else, yes they will
be different and u will love them in a different way, but that is a long
way off, u need time on your own with your darling son and build
up your confidence, it will take time.
I was married once long time ago, which didnt last, then spent
5yrs in a relationship with a guy who i wanted to have a family with he
was the love of my life, but after 5yrs he said he didnt want the same
things, i pushed him into a corner but felt if he didnt love i didnt
want to spend the rest of my life with a man who didnt feel the same
way as i did, i was devasted when he left, 6mth later he got married quickly followed by a family of four, i became very depressed as ive
always wanted a family. It took 6yrs to be with my present man
(ive worked with him for 18yrs) and now at the age 0f 43, i have found
the most caring and wonderful man i could every wish for and i love
him to bits.
So just believe in yourself, its hard but u can do it.
alisonnxx
Hey Shell,
Please please don't interpret my words to mean that I am telling you you are not yourself. I just wanted to stress how wonderful I thought you were when I came on the site. But now you are at a time when no one could be bubbly or cheerful, just don't put this on your shoulders as one more thing you have to do or be. More importantly, don't think for a minute that you are a failure! it takes two to break a relationship, I can really tell you from my own experience of two failed marriages which I felt so guilty about for a long time and then one day realised it was not all me Anyway we are under such societal pressure to be successful in our relationships, this and the expectations are sometimes enough to put them under strain. From when Lee is saying it seems that he expects quite a lot from you after the IVf and all you've been through. Well, my dp loves camping but I hate it (more the luxury hotels type, me...if we could only pay for them dp says) and I love skiing but he absolutely refuses to do it and it's not such a big deal, we just never do these things, but no relationship can be ever a complete match like that! Anyway I better stop preaching and just wish you strength and go easy on yourself, please!
love,
juliana
It all depends on what you call failure and I don't see failure at all here though you of course feel it. I am of the two failed marriages like Juliana and though I wish things had been different I don't live in regret land if that makes sense - what has gone has gone and you can't change it and makes me who I am today - - good god some might say
It seems to me that you are different people who are wanting different things. you can try and talk to Lee and see if counselling is in order - I mean not camping is hardly cause for a break up is it? Nothing will stop you loving him but sometimes Shell if you love someone you have to let them go. If your marriage does break up you have the history with Lee and he will always be Alex's father so you have that link. There are wonderful men out there - took me years to find one but hanging on to him and my marriage is rock solid and happy as can be. Whatever you decide we don;t expect you to be a joker and bubbly at such times. Do what you have to do for you and Alex and we will support either way.
Love
tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
Sorry ain't been around but still having some problems at home, wasn't happy today should of been meeting the girls from the MBB site and its been planned for ages and Lee knew about it. What did he go and do he arranged to go out himself and I couldn't get anyone to have Alex so I'm at home with him. I don't have a problem with looking after Alex but annoyed with lee when he's known for ages that I was going out. The thing is he isn't even coming home, he's staying out. He asn't seen Alex all day.
Well I'm having a scary time with Alex because he will not touch his milk, he is only taking about 8oz of milk a day which is hardly nothing. I have taken him to the gp who is keeping an eye on him and he has to go to the baby clinic to be weighed on W'day so we will see.
sorry but your dh is being a jerk
i dont think its my place to say , but i am going to stick my foot in my mouth and say
how long are you going to put up with his bull sh-t.
you deserve alot better then this.
you guys are so very lucky to have a family.
but on his be- half could he maybe be worried about not being a good dad or something?
my sister didnt like milk eather. she is no 30 and she still doesnt like milk.
is there something else that you can give alex?
try and take care of your self
go find a sitter and have a night for you.
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
I'm back at work since last week , so I hardly get on these days...
Don't worry about Alex and his milk too much - is he eating??? Sam's cutting back big time too - and the health visitor is encouraging us to up his solid intake and cut out the milk lunch & tea-tme. We're letting Sam lead us though, and we still give him a bit of milk at those times - just not as much. He also takes a jar of main course and half a jar+ of pudding at each of those times (the wee piggy...)
Are your trying Alex with yoghurt or cheese? How about mixing his breakfast with milk - that'll be 150mls??????
Hope things are a bit better today - you can't go on with Lee like this, for your own sanity....
Well I am back and I am sorry I have not been around. Lee and I are trying to sort our relationship and he admitted he's been in the wrong and said he loves me etc... etc... Has it is at the minute we are trying to save our marriage and hopefully going to go away the weekend which would be nice. I have been through so much and hopefully this is the end to everything and all the crap.
Beck I'm not sure if you have opened a thread for me asking how I am but I do know there are a couple of shell's now so I wasn't sure if it was for me.
Zoe - It must be horrible for you going back to work, I have not returned back to my job due to in December but I have been helping out at the Estate Agents that Lee has gone into and I feel so bad for leaving Alex with my inlaws don't know if you feel the same.
Sam seems to be doing well, what's is weight now? Alex is 19lb 10oz well he was 2 weeks ago. He's got to go back to the hospital to have his bloods done again because they have come back slightly not right. I have spoke to the hospital and they say that he has thyroid problems so we will have to get this checked.
Anyway best go and do his breakfast, he's on the floor at the minute and into everything. He only had 10oz of milk yesterday which isn't alot.
Hey girls do any of you go on ebay, I am so addicted got lots on to sell so just checked to see if any of it got bids on but only 2 of my things so far have hee hee.
. I remember you were so cheerful and welcoming when I first joined the board anod cannot believe time has passed so quickly and I am as far as 29 weeks now! Yours was the first birth I heard of on this forum and it made me so happy how things worked out for you! and they will again, one way or another! 
Anyway we are under such societal pressure to be successful in our relationships, this and the expectations are sometimes enough to put them under strain. From when Lee is saying it seems that he expects quite a lot from you after the IVf and all you've been through. Well, my dp loves camping but I hate it (more the luxury hotels type, me...if we could only pay for them dp says) and I love skiing but he absolutely refuses to do it and it's not such a big deal, we just never do these things, but no relationship can be ever a complete match like that! Anyway I better stop preaching and just wish you strength and go easy on yourself, please!
