possible new IVF-er... Help!

[nes]

Hi everyone. I have been looking at this site for a few days now and thought rather than just reading maybe I should post a note and hopefully get some help!!!
I am 25 yrs old, and have been suffering for years! After being diagnosed with PCOS when I was younger, I have had so many problems with my cycles that I was refered to my local hospital's fertility clinic around 2-3 years ago it's just been so stressful ever since.
I managed to complete half of my cycle monitoring, but 3 weeks ago I had both of my fallopian tubes removed... and now I am at home just pottering around until I am well enough to go back to work and continue with my treatment.
I have been feeling so awful lately and my dp has been so freaked out with my moods he doesn't really know what to say. I came across this site and noticed that everyone seems to just be able to keep me from my tearful moods!
My only option is to under go IVF... can anyone help with some info? Anything welcome!!! Just the thought of it turns my stomach - but not half as much as wanting my babies... [/list]

[Barny]

Hi Nes,

Welcome to the board. I'm sure you'll find it a real support as well as being a great source of IVF info. Ask as many questions as you want. There's bound to be someone here who knows the answer. Even if you just want to rant or cry, again there will be someone who understands how you are feeling.

I too have PCOS and I know how much the PCOS alone can play havoc with your moods let alone all the infertility stuff.

Wishing you lots of luck for your IVF treatment.

Barny

[Pam]

Hi Nes,

Welcome to the boards ....it's good to know you are not alone.

I've just finished my first cycle and am currently on my 2ww and have found these boards to be a fantastic source of information and encouragement. It's good to know that others have the same doubts and fears and that you aren't going crazy.

Like you I have had problems with periods for years but only realised the cause after I got married and we started TTC. I had surgery in March to try to remove a fibroid and to correct some damage to my tubes. The surgery was unsucessful - they couldn't remove the fibriod without risking my uterus and they were unable to fix my tubes so they clamped them. Before the sugrey my consultant said that he thinks the IVF works better if the tubes are either removed or clamped as there is no chance of an eptopic pregancy. So I wouldn't neccessarily see the removal as a bad thing. I was never going to concieve naturally anyway so I'm glad that an eptopic pregnancy is one thing I don't have to worry about.

I found the IVF treatment to be fairly straight forward - not to many mood swings and will have no hesitation about trying again.

I hope you recover well from your operation and you are able to move on to the next stage soon.

Take Care,

Pam

[nes]

Hi Pam, Hi Barny....

Thanks for your reply. I definately feel so much better after reading a few of the messages on this site.
I know that I can't be the only person who feels the way I do, and I'm sure that I won't be the last... It's just so hard when you're trying to explain to someone how you are feeling when they haven't been through what you have...
Nearly all of my friends have children and sometimes I just think why me... But I guess that everyone who has had difficulty in conceiving feels that at some point. I had a miscarriage two weeks before my 20th birthday, and ever since it has just eaten away at me... The more I think about it the more it does my head in; and now that I have had my tubes removed there is absolutely zero chance without IVF.... oh well... I guess that any chance is better than none hey?!

[bubblymichelle]

Hi Nes,

Just thought I would say hello and say welcome to the site, this is such a friendly site and I am sure you will find that out for yourself. I was like yourself I was so uptight when I was told I would need IVF because you never know what to expect but it really isn't that bad. If you do have any questions please fire them our way and we will do our best to help you.

Oh and the IVF did work first time for us I am now blessed with a 8 month old boy Alex Mitchell.

Love
Shell.
xx

[joew]

Know exactly how you feel. I also have PCOS and am starting ICSI within the next week. I only joined the site last week and already have found the site to be of help its nice to be able to talk to people who know exactly how you feel. Im 37 and also feel time is starting to run out.

Last year i had my ovaries drilled and although it has regulated my periods abit, it didnt seem to do much else. I first went to the hospital approx 5 years ago so it seems to have been along wait just to get this far .

Now all of a sudden things are starting to happen and I dont know if to be excited or frightened.

Just try to relax & get your self well ( easier said than done) . Take care & hope to speak to you again

[nes]

Thank Shell for your reply.

I will definately be keeping my eyes peeled on this site! Every message that I have read has really seemed to be quite helpfull.

Congratulations on your little man! He must be such a joy after all that you had to undergo with your IVF treatment. As I have only just come out of hospital, I don't really know what my next step will be, but I have an appointment with my consultant in a few weeks so hopefully I will get some answers.

It's just such a pain having to always wait for something to happen before being able to continue with the next part of what ever the treatment will be... It feels like I have been waiting for the longest while! I just hope that it will all be worth it in the end, I can't imagine having to keep going through cycle after cycle when they dont work. I feel bad enough know, I don't think that I would cope very well.

How did your cycle go? Sorry if that is too personal... What I mean is... Did it take long? Was it painful? I know that everyone's experiences are different, but I guess fore-armed is fore-warned or what ever it is that they say!

I work full time, but does going through your cycle affect your time at work? Obviously you have check ups and scans and stuff, but what about the main procedures? Do they take up alot of time? I guess I'm just really paranoid about the procedures as I hav no pain tolerance at all!

Last year I had to have an HSG scan to check if my tubes were blocked, and it felt like I was dying! I was in agony, and I was bed ridden for a week. It was so bad that I just automatically think of the worst when I think about hospital procedures...

[nes]

Hi JoeW.

Thanks for your reply. Good luck with your treatment. Hope it all goes well. I thought that it was bad enough having the PCOS, but I think that was just the start of my problems!

From about the age of 14-15 I had trouble with my periods. The were either so painful that I would pass out, or they would come at all... I was always in and out of the doctors trying to get tablets that would help, but nothing seemed to.

5 years ago, I had a miscarriage, and the doctor couldn't give me anything that were strong enough to get rid of the painful cramps. He tried to put me on the contraceptive pill - both combined and mini, but I was allergic to it - well I went through around 10+ brands and they were all making me feel sick. The doc decided that I couldn't take them any more, so since then I've just had to grin and bare it! not too great! I guess that's why I get really freaked out when I think that I have to take more drugs and injections just to get what I want... but if I want to have my babies then that is what I have to do! and believe me Ive wanted this for so long that it's driving me mad!!!

[Pam]

Hi Nes,

I just saw your note on how long the cycle takes - I think it is different for everyone but my experience was -

They started my treatment in July. The first thing I had to do was let them know the date of my July period. My periods are really irregular so the consultant gave me meds to bring on a period.

When the period arrive I let the clinic know the date and the scheduled my treatment accordingly. I started IVF meds on Aug 1st.

The first part was to down reg and the medication for this is a spray. I took the spray twice a day for the next month and was due to start injections on Sept 1st. The clinic did a blood test the last week in August and I hadn't down regged enough so they increased the number of sprays I took to 3 times per day and did a blood test twice a week until I down regged enough to move onto the next stage. Eventually I had down regged enough by Sept 10 and was able to start injections. You inject yourself for two weeks the injection create an artifical cycle (you still take the sprays during this as they stop your body from trying to have a normal cycle). During the two weeks I had two scans - I believe it is normally one but I had too because I was on a high dose of meds they were watching for hyperstimulation. At the last scan there were 5 follicles (a lot of people get more than that I think it has to do with your FSH level but I was happy to get 5) they scheduled my final injection which occurs 36 hours before egg collection at the scan.

I took my final injection on Saturday night and then went in for egg collection on Monday morning. This took about 20 mins but it depends on the number of follicles - it can be a little sore but they give you pain relieve. It turned out that they couldn't reach one of the follicles and out of the other 4 there was only 1 egg - I think this was pretty bad luck on our part but on the positive side the 1 egg became a good quality embrio.

My DH had to provide a sample which is washed by the lab (not sure what this means) and then added to the egg. We were then sent home and told what time to call the lab the next morning to find out if we had a embrio - we did so and the hospital scheduled the embryio transfer on the Thursday morning (collection was the Monday so 3 days between the 2 procedures but I think it can be done after 2 days). This was a bit sore for me but I don't think it is for everyone. Then after they transferred the embryio we were sent home - the Doc said that there wasn't anything we could do after than as nature will just take its course but I followed some of the advice others on the boards had received from there Docs i.e Bed rest and lots of water, no stretching etc. It couldn't hurt.

And now I am on the 2ww. I have had some bleeding which may or may not mean this hasn't worked - if not, we try again.

Some people have bad mood swings during the down regging but I found it not to bad this time although my nurse said it can differ from cycle to cycle. The injections weren't too bad - they give you a pen to inject with and the needles are fairly fine. All in all it wasn't too painful - heres hoping it will work if not this time then next!!

It might be my personality but I have found it difficult to be at the mercy of the Doctors so I have found it helps me to feel like I am in control by planning the next stage of treatment so I know exactly what I am doing no matter what the result of the final stage. Also make lists of questions for when you have a scheduled appointment - I forgot some of the questions I wanted to ask and made another appointment with my consultant to ask the remaining questions - the appointment took 6 minutes and cost me the standard £100 OUCH !!!


I hope this has helped some - I'm not an expert by any means and loads of people know more than I down but I've been helped out so many times by people on the boards I want to help others if I can(I ask my questions here now rather than at the consultants !)

Take Care,

Pam

[nes]

Well I have every thing crossed for you! I hope that everything goes ok...

It doesn't sound too long in terms of the treatment length, but I suppose that really depends on how you respond to the meds and stuff... I really hope that when I eventually am able to start the next process, that it takes first time. I know that might be asking too much - i realise that not everyone is that lucky, but I am a bit squeamish when it comes to needles and pain!!! I just want to get it over and done with and enjoy the fruits of my labour!!! I will have to see what the consultant says when I have my next appointment...

[Kel]

Hi Nes!

Glad you have found this site, I have found it to be such a massive help! The support from the girls I have met on here has been amazing and heps you to have a bit of a laugh while everythings going on!! (other wise we'd go a bit crazy!!!!!)

Just want to wish you lots of luck with your next appointment and hope you can start your IVF soon. I just wanted to echo really what the other girls have said, I am currently on my 2nd IVF cycle after having an ectopic pregnancy earlier this year, which was when I discovered my tubes were not so good. So, although I know it must be hard to deal with having your tubes removed, one of the most worrying things for me in my 2WW that I would have another ectopic as my remaining tube is scarred. That was the main thing I thought I would not be able to deal with as that was the whole reason for having IVF to was to avoid that!

The waiting bit is probably the hardest part. I was so surprised at how easy the self-injecting is - honest! The thought of it is much harder! Once you do your first injection you will agree! The medication does obviously make your hormones play up a bit, but you never loose sight of why you're doing it and you remember it's all worth it for your dream.. And then you can have a good old rant on here anyway!!

Wishing you lots of luck, and ask away if you have any more questions along the way!

Kel X

[alicia]

Nes,

Welcome to this wonderful board! It has been such a help to me. I've gone through one IVF cycle, which was not at all bad. I had been very worried, as I have had terrible PMS with crying, anxiety attacks and suicidal thoughts in the past. But happily the drugs actually had me feeling pretty good and I seemed to snap back to normal very quickly afterwards.

But best of all, we had 5 frozen embies, so my next tmt was a FET without any injections at all. And we're thrilled to be 9 weeks pregnant with twins!

I also had my tubes removed before starting IVF. It was scary, because then we would have no chance of conceiving at all without IVF. But after 2 years of trying, I was pretty sure we had zero chance on our own anyway. Now I'm so happy they are gone! It gave us a better chance for IVF to work. But most of all, whenever people say to me "Oh, I know a couple that had 6 failed IVFs. But when they quit doing it and relaxed, suddenly they fell pregnant naturally." Now I can say "Well, that's nice for them, but it won't happen that way to us." Also, when I'm not cycling, it takes the pressure off - every single month isn't a big disappointment.

Finally, I also had a HSG test that left me shattered and in terrible pain for days. So disappointing, after they had assured me that most women walk out feeling fine ten minutes after. But IVF was nothing like that for me. Having the tubes removed was not too bad, and IVF was nothing compared to that.

Hope all goes well for you and that your dream comes true. Of course at your age, you will be able to try several times if you want to. I'm already 38, so we knew it would only be one or two attempts for us.

Alicia

[nes]

Hi Alicia, Hi Kel...
Thanks for the messages it was nice to hear from you both.

[u][b][color=red]CONGRATULATIONS!!!!![/color][/b][/u] Alicia on your twins... I hope all goes well and that you wont have to wait too much longer for your little (big) bundles of joy to arrive!!!

That's one thing that I hope for whilst thinking about having IVF, I'd love to have twins. It would make all the frustration and painful last couple of years all worth it. My dad is a twin, but I don't know of any other twins in my family, so I hope that whatever it is will pass onto me so I can have mine!!!

I did freak out in a major way after I found out that my tubes were totally knackered, but now that I have had the surgery to remove them both I don't feel too bad... ... well I mean, I am up walking and stuff even though I have been aching a bit today... I don't feel physically to bad - mentally and emotionally is another story... I keep on feeling really depressed and crying all the time that I always feel so exausted. The more I try to snap out of it, the more I end up welling up again. My partner must think that I'm a raving loony!!!

I must say though, I haven't really had much information from my doctor or the hospital. I'm meeting up with the fertility consultant in a few weeks, but other than that, most of the information that I have received has been off of the internet, or from message boards... I have found that so far I haven't had many sypathetic people and the doctors all seem crap...

I've been talking to my partner, and I've been trying to explain how I've been feeling and why I have been having the moods that I have, but I'm finding it so hard. He already has two children and even though I love them dearly, I just find it really hard sometimes when I see the way he is with them, knowing that what I want most is for him to be like that with our children. Is that so bad?

Someone I was speaking to mentioned that it was strange that no-one had mentioned councelling to me, and the more that I think about it, the more I do think that it is a bit strange. Did any of you get the option of having councelling?

When I went into hopsital to have my tubes taken out, we were told that it would be done during a laparoscopy, but I ended up having to be opened up, and now I have a horrible 8 inch scar. When I showed my partner he looked really traumatised... I think that it's really shocked him and I get the impression that he doesn't know what to say or do at the moment... Did any of you have that problem with your partners?

[alicia]

Nes,

So sorry to hear about the scar. No wonder you are feeling down. I remember I did have some weird feelings about not really being completely a woman after all of that. I'm sure it's compounded by having scarring. But I've had other surgery and it is amazing how much better the scars look after a year.

I've really had to look hard for people to talk to. This list has been a Godsend. I've also been lucky to work in a woman's clothing boutique, where I've met many other women who have been through this. And I take classes at the local community college in Fashion Design - again, lots of women, many of whom have had similar problems. All of this is so much better than the software sales job I used to have where I made tons of money, but it was all male coworkers.

I've found that whining to my husband has not helped much, as he could not possibly understand my desire to have a child or my not feeling like a woman. Likewise, my Mom who is a lovely person and a great mother was no help. She had 8 children without even trying, so she could not relate to my problems. But now that I'm pregnant our relationship is improving.

I hope this list is as helpful to you as it has been to me, and that you also meet some people with whom you have some things in common. Sometimes women on this list get together for tea or whatever.

Alicia

[nes]

Hi Alicia, How's things?

I'm glad that that you are sorting things out with your mum, I guess it does help when you have people to talk to. Unfortunately, I'm not really getting on with mine at the moment. We've hardly talked for the last year. I guess that doesn't really help much...

I have been told that the scar will fade with time, but i guess that it's just a reminder that there is something missing from me that makes the scar seem worse then it probably is... It just looks really big and even some of my friends who have had cesarians (can't spell!) don't seem to have had there scars as big as mine... I feel better knowing that with out the problem tubes, any chance of IVF will be improved, but it still doesn't make me feel any better...