Had our scan on Thursday and twelve weeks today all booked in now with NHS. Jess and Paul were both able to come to the scan which was lovely Jessie was amazed though she does think it looked like an alien!
But now the tricky bit Paul I think thinks I am out of my mind but with what the midwife said the odds of Downs is 1 in 110 which is just too high I've opted not to have the blood tests because not conclusive and just tell you the odds but as I understood it the midwife did that because of my age (40) and the ICSI... so booked in for amnio 23rd November worried sick will lose it after all of this and then find out there was nothing wrong with it anyway. Does anyone know what it will be like the midwife said you cannot drive afterwards but what I want to know is it like embryo transfer were by you go to bed to give youreslf best chance or if anything was wrong would it all go wrong there and then? Will I be able to pick Jess up from school etc etc? Cate
Amnio after all of this...?
Cate:
I had an amnio on Monday. The emotional trauma is a lot more intense than the physical process of the procedure. The procedure was nothing. It just taxes you so much emotionally, that you wonder whether or not it was worth it. Everything is fine with me...I'm officially out of the woods after 3 days, but I think that I would opt for the Nuchal Fold Testing and the Triple serum test...and then if there were soft markers for a chromosonal abnormality, consider the amnio. I've also read not to do the amnio until 15-16 weeks, if you do it earlier there is more risk.
Also, if you go to a place that specializes in amnios, your odds are a lot better than if you had someone do it who performs one every once in awhile. The benchmark that I've read is if they do not do 5 amnios a week, don't go there. It's a totally personal decision, and we were back and forth on it extensively.
Good luck with your decision making process.
Paige
I had an amnio on Monday. The emotional trauma is a lot more intense than the physical process of the procedure. The procedure was nothing. It just taxes you so much emotionally, that you wonder whether or not it was worth it. Everything is fine with me...I'm officially out of the woods after 3 days, but I think that I would opt for the Nuchal Fold Testing and the Triple serum test...and then if there were soft markers for a chromosonal abnormality, consider the amnio. I've also read not to do the amnio until 15-16 weeks, if you do it earlier there is more risk.
Also, if you go to a place that specializes in amnios, your odds are a lot better than if you had someone do it who performs one every once in awhile. The benchmark that I've read is if they do not do 5 amnios a week, don't go there. It's a totally personal decision, and we were back and forth on it extensively.
Good luck with your decision making process.
Paige
Thanks for reply
It's all so confusing as I said the midwife said all these bad odds which she seemed to know now because of my age, and the blood tests take a while to get the results and are no guarantee I asked her what she would do and she couldn't say obviously! I feel like I just can't get more attached to the baby in case all goes wrong which seems terrible after seeing is so clearly on the screen.
On the one hand it does seem like madness Paul who as ever is sheltered from everything "We didn't have all this with Jess" well it was ten years ago and I was 30 the clues are there. just thinks what if we lose it etc etc but I know I truly could not bring up a child with problems I have health problems of my own with Rheumatoid arthritis so my hands and strength in arms etc are poor also I stupidly ages ago explained to Jess about two children in her school who have Downs I told her its when older Mums have children it can sometimes happen, and now here I am at 40 doing this it really would not be fair on her either I do feel like a complete heel though obviously I know of many people one of whom was 42 who didn't have any tests because no point as could never abort due to beliefs I however although Christian c of e go to church every Sunday etc etc don't feel that way. Surely they put two eggs back out of the original four and only one has taken so maybe it must be a perfect one but it such a big risk that it won't be but then again whats the miscarriage risk, My doc at the hosp was supposed to do amnino but of course when I went to do the booking the reception said he was off and I would have a lady consultant so I don't know how ofen she does them or if I am allowed to ask What a nightmare Cate
On the one hand it does seem like madness Paul who as ever is sheltered from everything "We didn't have all this with Jess" well it was ten years ago and I was 30 the clues are there. just thinks what if we lose it etc etc but I know I truly could not bring up a child with problems I have health problems of my own with Rheumatoid arthritis so my hands and strength in arms etc are poor also I stupidly ages ago explained to Jess about two children in her school who have Downs I told her its when older Mums have children it can sometimes happen, and now here I am at 40 doing this it really would not be fair on her either I do feel like a complete heel though obviously I know of many people one of whom was 42 who didn't have any tests because no point as could never abort due to beliefs I however although Christian c of e go to church every Sunday etc etc don't feel that way. Surely they put two eggs back out of the original four and only one has taken so maybe it must be a perfect one but it such a big risk that it won't be but then again whats the miscarriage risk, My doc at the hosp was supposed to do amnino but of course when I went to do the booking the reception said he was off and I would have a lady consultant so I don't know how ofen she does them or if I am allowed to ask What a nightmare Cate
Cate:
You are absolutely allowed/entitled to ask. I would also ask you Dr. at the hospital if he could possibly refer you to a specialist as you are very leary of the procedure. Though, if you know in your heart that you wouldn't want to bring a downs baby into the world, an amnio is really your only 100% bet. Though I do know that if you do the other testing that I mentioned, and everything goes fine your odds of having problems go way up...like my friend did the triple serum and the nuchal fold and her odds (she's 38) went to 1 in 1000.
You have some timeto figure it out. I'm not sure about your clinic/hospital, but the genetic counselor said I could back out at any time during the appointment. Don't worry about what the Dr.s/nurses think, just do what is right for you.
Paige
You are absolutely allowed/entitled to ask. I would also ask you Dr. at the hospital if he could possibly refer you to a specialist as you are very leary of the procedure. Though, if you know in your heart that you wouldn't want to bring a downs baby into the world, an amnio is really your only 100% bet. Though I do know that if you do the other testing that I mentioned, and everything goes fine your odds of having problems go way up...like my friend did the triple serum and the nuchal fold and her odds (she's 38) went to 1 in 1000.
You have some timeto figure it out. I'm not sure about your clinic/hospital, but the genetic counselor said I could back out at any time during the appointment. Don't worry about what the Dr.s/nurses think, just do what is right for you.
Paige
Cate,
I had the same fears as you do. I ended up doing the nuchal translucency test. It is expensive, - about $650 US for one and $1000 US for twins. But it does give you a new set of odds based on more than just age. My odds with age are 1 in 150, but we are hoping they will improve when we get the test back next week.
But if you go that way, it is very important that you get it done immediately, as it is supposed to be done at 12 weeks. If our results show no improvement in the odds, we will also have an amnio.
Making these decisions is so hard. I don't know what we would do if one twin had a problem and the other didn't. What is best for them in that case? We haven't thought too much about it, since it is all moot unless they find a problem. But I have to believe none of us have come this far to have it all ruined. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.
Alicia
I had the same fears as you do. I ended up doing the nuchal translucency test. It is expensive, - about $650 US for one and $1000 US for twins. But it does give you a new set of odds based on more than just age. My odds with age are 1 in 150, but we are hoping they will improve when we get the test back next week.
But if you go that way, it is very important that you get it done immediately, as it is supposed to be done at 12 weeks. If our results show no improvement in the odds, we will also have an amnio.
Making these decisions is so hard. I don't know what we would do if one twin had a problem and the other didn't. What is best for them in that case? We haven't thought too much about it, since it is all moot unless they find a problem. But I have to believe none of us have come this far to have it all ruined. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.
Alicia
Cate
I cant help you on what its like to have an amnio as i said no to any tests from the start i am only 27 so i know that does makes a difference all i can say really if you are undecided and its worrying you that much then mayb you should think about the worst case if it shows something is wrong with the baby do you know what you will do because i knew without being asked i would love my baby and care for them no matter what thats why i decided against the tests i know some people think a lot differently and it is up to personal choice i used to think a lot differently before i went through icsi just by going through icsi i.v.f we know the risks are higher that our babies will have something wrong with them if we are lucky enough to get pregnant. to be honest with you i take everything midwives say with a pinch of salt i really think sometimes they think there job is to scare people i have heard so many stories where they tell expectant mums stuff and it turns out to be nonsense any way try and relax hunny you make the choices you want its your pregnancy and your baby only you can decide what is best
lots of love Ang xx
I cant help you on what its like to have an amnio as i said no to any tests from the start i am only 27 so i know that does makes a difference all i can say really if you are undecided and its worrying you that much then mayb you should think about the worst case if it shows something is wrong with the baby do you know what you will do because i knew without being asked i would love my baby and care for them no matter what thats why i decided against the tests i know some people think a lot differently and it is up to personal choice i used to think a lot differently before i went through icsi just by going through icsi i.v.f we know the risks are higher that our babies will have something wrong with them if we are lucky enough to get pregnant. to be honest with you i take everything midwives say with a pinch of salt i really think sometimes they think there job is to scare people i have heard so many stories where they tell expectant mums stuff and it turns out to be nonsense any way try and relax hunny you make the choices you want its your pregnancy and your baby only you can decide what is best
lots of love Ang xx
Our dream came true after 5 yrs ttc we know have 8month old twin boys Adam and Kieran and our gorgeous 9 yr old daughter.
Hang in there miracles really do happen
Hang in there miracles really do happen
Hi
I am also 40 and pregnant with my third child at 28 weeks. At 12 weeks I had a nuchal scan at the London Fetal Medicine Centre. My odds came back at 1 in 9 so they recommended a CVS two days later. After lots of tears and soul searching I had this done by Prof Nicolaides (spelt very badly!) who runs the clinic and is an expert in fetal medicine. He anaethetised my stomach and then stuck a large needle into the placenta to withdraw a sample. It didn't hurt but it was a little uncomfortable. The worry of a miscarriage and a positivee result was much worse.
Fortunately everything was fine. The results are 100% so if you can't wait for an amnio you could consider a CVS.
Good luck
Fiona
I am also 40 and pregnant with my third child at 28 weeks. At 12 weeks I had a nuchal scan at the London Fetal Medicine Centre. My odds came back at 1 in 9 so they recommended a CVS two days later. After lots of tears and soul searching I had this done by Prof Nicolaides (spelt very badly!) who runs the clinic and is an expert in fetal medicine. He anaethetised my stomach and then stuck a large needle into the placenta to withdraw a sample. It didn't hurt but it was a little uncomfortable. The worry of a miscarriage and a positivee result was much worse.
Fortunately everything was fine. The results are 100% so if you can't wait for an amnio you could consider a CVS.
Good luck
Fiona
Thanks Fiona
It does seem asking around among my extended friends etc that a lot of people do have the amnio I can only hope the lady who does mine has a steady hand. The hospital wrote today asking me to take part in a trial to help with research for pre eclapsia I had the begins of it with Jess and have high blood pressure anyway so it looks like they are going to be monitoring me well anyway. One of my friends friends is calling me tonight she had amnio but bottom line is it's the conclusive way so I have to have it anyway, there were no mentions in Liverpool of the nucal test the midwife just said the odds 1-110 because of ICSI and age 40 and said doc would be willing to do amnio without blood tests if I chose to. Thanks for the reply Cate xxx
It does seem asking around among my extended friends etc that a lot of people do have the amnio I can only hope the lady who does mine has a steady hand. The hospital wrote today asking me to take part in a trial to help with research for pre eclapsia I had the begins of it with Jess and have high blood pressure anyway so it looks like they are going to be monitoring me well anyway. One of my friends friends is calling me tonight she had amnio but bottom line is it's the conclusive way so I have to have it anyway, there were no mentions in Liverpool of the nucal test the midwife just said the odds 1-110 because of ICSI and age 40 and said doc would be willing to do amnio without blood tests if I chose to. Thanks for the reply Cate xxx
-
jill dickens
- Regular
- Posts: 237
- Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2004 9:33 pm
- Location: UK
Hi Cate,
I just wanted to wish you well with the amnio if you decide to go ahead with it. Take care love Jill x
I just wanted to wish you well with the amnio if you decide to go ahead with it. Take care love Jill x
TTC nearly 9 years
Raised FSH
natural pg M/C, 12 months on Clomid +ve M/C
1st Egg Donor IVF Cycle Oct 04 +ve M/C my dream is over
Nov 04 Began the adoption journey
Nov 06 our beautiful baby girl has come home we were matched at just over 12 months
Raised FSH
natural pg M/C, 12 months on Clomid +ve M/C
1st Egg Donor IVF Cycle Oct 04 +ve M/C my dream is over
Nov 04 Began the adoption journey
Nov 06 our beautiful baby girl has come home we were matched at just over 12 months
Hello Jill
Hi Jill Thanks for the thought my friends friend called last night with lots of useful information, she had the nuchal test privately in a place called Murrayfield on the Wirral somwhere, she said pointless though as was none the wiser so went ahead with amnio and it hurt like hell the day afterwards and all week she got her mother in law to take her little boy to school and became a couch potoato for a week sounds a bit like embryo transfer!
Apparently the risk is to do with getting infection rather than missing were they are aiming for which is what I rather stupidly thought, so I suppose they must just have everything very sterile .
Anyway I feel a liitle better about it now that and it's a way off! Jill said she found out some of the results within 48 hours and the rest after they had grown a culture she went on to have a lovely little girl called Anna who is quite beautiful. hope you are keeping well Cate xxxx
Apparently the risk is to do with getting infection rather than missing were they are aiming for which is what I rather stupidly thought, so I suppose they must just have everything very sterile .
Anyway I feel a liitle better about it now that and it's a way off! Jill said she found out some of the results within 48 hours and the rest after they had grown a culture she went on to have a lovely little girl called Anna who is quite beautiful. hope you are keeping well Cate xxxx
Dear Cate,
just seen your post and hope I can help. I know you're dead worried but you've got to put it in perspective a bit - very hard I know. I had IVF/ICSI at LWH and the second time (our NHS go) it worked. I am now blessed with Jay - a lovely healthy little boy who's 9 months old and who has made my life complete. I had the nuchal thing done at Counterss of Chester and it came back with a 1 in 144 risk. I was 36 at the time and the midwives at the Countess really put it in perspective by saying that although it might sound high, all it is is an odds - ie you wouldn't put a bet on a horse at 144 to 1 would you? No. Exactly. I went ahead and had the amnio at LWH, then rested for 2 days afterwards. It's very safe because the needle is terribly fine, you don't feel a thing, and it's guided by ultrasound so the baby is kept safe. Thank God everything was OK and we got the call saying that Jay was chromosomally normal, so you can imagine the relief.
You wouldn't be human if you didn't worry, but please try to be calm. I know of a lady who had a 1 in 10 risk and had a perfect baby. Please don't worry too much. For what it's worth, I found LWH brilliant from start to finish (also had the baby there in Jan) so you are in excellent hands.
Love to you,
Sally xx
just seen your post and hope I can help. I know you're dead worried but you've got to put it in perspective a bit - very hard I know. I had IVF/ICSI at LWH and the second time (our NHS go) it worked. I am now blessed with Jay - a lovely healthy little boy who's 9 months old and who has made my life complete. I had the nuchal thing done at Counterss of Chester and it came back with a 1 in 144 risk. I was 36 at the time and the midwives at the Countess really put it in perspective by saying that although it might sound high, all it is is an odds - ie you wouldn't put a bet on a horse at 144 to 1 would you? No. Exactly. I went ahead and had the amnio at LWH, then rested for 2 days afterwards. It's very safe because the needle is terribly fine, you don't feel a thing, and it's guided by ultrasound so the baby is kept safe. Thank God everything was OK and we got the call saying that Jay was chromosomally normal, so you can imagine the relief.
You wouldn't be human if you didn't worry, but please try to be calm. I know of a lady who had a 1 in 10 risk and had a perfect baby. Please don't worry too much. For what it's worth, I found LWH brilliant from start to finish (also had the baby there in Jan) so you are in excellent hands.
Love to you,
Sally xx
Me - severe endo, DH - poor sperm. First IVF ICSI Nov 02 neg. Second IVF/ICSI May 03 Positive.
Miracle baby Jay born on 27th January 04
Miracle baby Jay born on 27th January 04
Hi Sally Hi Paige
Sally Thank you for the advice A lot of people seem to do amnio but many just don't mention it. It's hard because people are quick to judge. I do feel better with what you said though It's nice to hear someone so positive.
Paige I'll be thinking of you on Friday and before.
I don't know we must have all been very bad in a former life, all this worry, each time I go to hospital and wade my way through the hugely pregnant women all in the smoking shelters outside I wonder how they sleep nights!??? I won't ever wish anything bad on any one but it is strange the hand we are all dealt. Or am I just being horribly cynical??
Cate x
Paige I'll be thinking of you on Friday and before.
I don't know we must have all been very bad in a former life, all this worry, each time I go to hospital and wade my way through the hugely pregnant women all in the smoking shelters outside I wonder how they sleep nights!??? I won't ever wish anything bad on any one but it is strange the hand we are all dealt. Or am I just being horribly cynical??
Cate x
Hi cate,
i have not had time to post since my twisn were born on 23 september but I saw your thread and had to react. I had the same agony as you, really went back and forth for weeks on whether to have the amnio or not, had the Nuchal and it came back with decent odds, 1:330 for one and 1:500 for tjhe other but it is inconclusive so we went ahead anyway. the procedure was easier than ET, but the fear and worry I went through were incredible. In my case I did have loss of amniotic fluid about an hour after the procedure, we rushed to hospital and I was admitted for a day, cannot describe what we went through then, thinking were were about to lose one or both babies but they hung in there, the wound healed and all was fine in the end. Now Alex who was the baby that lost some fluid but was born perfectly fine (a kilo bigger than his sister!) is happily fussing in the other room (if there is such a thing as happily fussing baby). Anyway I will be thinking of you and wish you a smooth and simple procedure, but even if it is not, it can still end very well as my story shows. - good luck,
juliana
i have not had time to post since my twisn were born on 23 september but I saw your thread and had to react. I had the same agony as you, really went back and forth for weeks on whether to have the amnio or not, had the Nuchal and it came back with decent odds, 1:330 for one and 1:500 for tjhe other but it is inconclusive so we went ahead anyway. the procedure was easier than ET, but the fear and worry I went through were incredible. In my case I did have loss of amniotic fluid about an hour after the procedure, we rushed to hospital and I was admitted for a day, cannot describe what we went through then, thinking were were about to lose one or both babies but they hung in there, the wound healed and all was fine in the end. Now Alex who was the baby that lost some fluid but was born perfectly fine (a kilo bigger than his sister!) is happily fussing in the other room (if there is such a thing as happily fussing baby). Anyway I will be thinking of you and wish you a smooth and simple procedure, but even if it is not, it can still end very well as my story shows. - good luck,
juliana
Cate, if it helps to hear more positive amnio stories, I'll add mine. I had one as I was 38 and it was important for us to know. Like everyone else has said, the psychological worry is often far greater than the actual procedure. Watching it on the screen means you can see that the needle doesn't touch the baby - which is often the scary part - and yes it's all very clean and sterile. For political reasons (a right-wing, religious government) amnios are very hard to get here and the wait is 10 days. Yes they were the worst 10 days (and nights) of my life. I cried a lot and got way too anxious about the whole thing. I didn't belong the board then and had no friends around me (new, foreign country etc.). You've got lots of support and now, lots of reassurance. It is more common than you think at first, and for me, the pregnancy really began once I got the all-clear.
take care
Debra.
take care
Debra.