Hi Buddies,
I can't believe it but my dream of ever having a baby is over. The scan showed an empty sac the same as last week. My Hcg was 15,000 but there is absolutely no pregnancy there. Within 2 hours of stopping the drugs my miscarriage appeared. I am shattered and don't know where to turn. I asked to keep my scan of the empty sac, it may be empty but it is our sac and it had our baby in it.
I can't thank you all enough for the amazing support over my 4 months of treatment and this last horrendous week. I wish each and everyone of you so much success for happy outcomes. This is a terrible journey we have found ourselves on but for many of us there is a happy ending so stick in there and lets see all those BFP's come pouring in.
Love and friendship to you all and may all our dreams come true in one shape or another Jill xxx
My dream is over
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jill dickens
- Regular
- Posts: 237
- Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2004 9:33 pm
- Location: UK
My dream is over
TTC nearly 9 years
Raised FSH
natural pg M/C, 12 months on Clomid +ve M/C
1st Egg Donor IVF Cycle Oct 04 +ve M/C my dream is over
Nov 04 Began the adoption journey
Nov 06 our beautiful baby girl has come home we were matched at just over 12 months
Raised FSH
natural pg M/C, 12 months on Clomid +ve M/C
1st Egg Donor IVF Cycle Oct 04 +ve M/C my dream is over
Nov 04 Began the adoption journey
Nov 06 our beautiful baby girl has come home we were matched at just over 12 months
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sophiejane
- Regular
- Posts: 331
- Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2004 1:03 pm
- Location: Ringwood, Hants
I am so sorry Jill, I was so hoping, just as you two were, that it will all be all right. How cruel life can be sometimes. But Jill, it may be this dream that has come to an end but that doesn't mean a new dream can't be had. There are other options out there for you. But take time to grieve (cry and get angry) and then start on the road to a new dream ... you deserve it. You have been a support for all of us as well, and I can tell that you are such a lovely, genuine and caring person.
BIG BIG HUGS.
Love from Sophie-Jane
Me 33 dp 30
me tubal damage
ist ivf Feb04 -ive
fet July04 -ive
ivf Nov04 +ive twins, but sadly one twin died at 10 weeks gestation. Freya born 21st July 2005. She's amazing!
me tubal damage
ist ivf Feb04 -ive
fet July04 -ive
ivf Nov04 +ive twins, but sadly one twin died at 10 weeks gestation. Freya born 21st July 2005. She's amazing!
Jill,
I'm so sorry to read your post. I can't imagin how devastating it must be for you. I had a miscarriage about 5 years ago, and I am still feeling the loss of it every day - and now I have just had surgery to remove both of my tubes, IVF is my only option in conceiving - if it works at all...
I can't imagin how you must be feeling after everything that you went through with the treatment, I don't think that there is anything that anyone can say to make you feel better, but I'm thinking of you during this awful time, so I hope that you both can find some way of coping with your grief.
I know that you probably don't want to hear that, but I'm sure that there are lots of people who will be feeling your pain too, so please don't feel that you are alone.
Take Care, Thinking of you, God Bless
Nes*
X
I'm so sorry to read your post. I can't imagin how devastating it must be for you. I had a miscarriage about 5 years ago, and I am still feeling the loss of it every day - and now I have just had surgery to remove both of my tubes, IVF is my only option in conceiving - if it works at all...
I can't imagin how you must be feeling after everything that you went through with the treatment, I don't think that there is anything that anyone can say to make you feel better, but I'm thinking of you during this awful time, so I hope that you both can find some way of coping with your grief.
I know that you probably don't want to hear that, but I'm sure that there are lots of people who will be feeling your pain too, so please don't feel that you are alone.
Take Care, Thinking of you, God Bless
Nes*
X
Nes X
Mum to Twins Jess & Kai, born 1.06.06
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10719;34/st/20060601/n/Jessenia+and+Maqkai/dt/-18/k/286d/age.png[/img]
Mum to Twins Jess & Kai, born 1.06.06
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10719;34/st/20060601/n/Jessenia+and+Maqkai/dt/-18/k/286d/age.png[/img]
Jill. I am crying with you. I'm so, so sorry it didn't work out for you.
You said you didn't know where to turn, I'd strongly suggest asking both your clinic and/or GP for an immediate referral to a grief counsellor or if that's not possible, someone else qualified to help get you through this incredibly difficult time. If nothing happens straight away, consider going private and finding someone to talk to asap. I can only imagine how you must be feeling but these emotions and thoughts won't go away. Yes you can (and DH of course) talk to friends and family but that's not the same as talking to a professional who will know how to help you get through this. It might seem impossible but in a few month's time you will be stronger, sadder and reconciled to your situation. Don't be shy in asking for professional help to get there.
I base the above on how I feel now. I'm still so angry about my 4 fails this year. I am very, very quick to both cry and want to punch someone. I wish I'd found someone here I could offload onto.
I'm so sorry about your news.
love
Debra.
You said you didn't know where to turn, I'd strongly suggest asking both your clinic and/or GP for an immediate referral to a grief counsellor or if that's not possible, someone else qualified to help get you through this incredibly difficult time. If nothing happens straight away, consider going private and finding someone to talk to asap. I can only imagine how you must be feeling but these emotions and thoughts won't go away. Yes you can (and DH of course) talk to friends and family but that's not the same as talking to a professional who will know how to help you get through this. It might seem impossible but in a few month's time you will be stronger, sadder and reconciled to your situation. Don't be shy in asking for professional help to get there.
I base the above on how I feel now. I'm still so angry about my 4 fails this year. I am very, very quick to both cry and want to punch someone. I wish I'd found someone here I could offload onto.
I'm so sorry about your news.
love
Debra.
Jill
Debra has really summed it all up. I've never got as far as you - meaning I've never even had any sign of a +ve - and I know how upset, angry, negative etc I felt, when I rcvd the final news. You must be feeling so, so much worse. I'm really feeling for you at the moment. You should both take advantage of whatever support systems are in place. You both need time to come to terms with today's news, and to gather the strength to summon up the engery for next time (if they'll be a next time). Thinking of you both ..
Sandra x
Debra has really summed it all up. I've never got as far as you - meaning I've never even had any sign of a +ve - and I know how upset, angry, negative etc I felt, when I rcvd the final news. You must be feeling so, so much worse. I'm really feeling for you at the moment. You should both take advantage of whatever support systems are in place. You both need time to come to terms with today's news, and to gather the strength to summon up the engery for next time (if they'll be a next time). Thinking of you both ..
Sandra x
Me 41 yrs old - dh 49 yrs old. ttc 110 yrs.
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
Jill and DH
I am am so sorry to hear your sad news today
I really don't know what to say, I can not imagine what you must be feeling. Please take care you have been a great support to us all.
Love and extra big hugs
Julie
I am am so sorry to hear your sad news today
I really don't know what to say, I can not imagine what you must be feeling. Please take care you have been a great support to us all.
Love and extra big hugs
Julie
Me 32 DH 37 ttc 2years
Male Factor
First ICSI October 04 - cycle abandoned high risk of OHSS
ICSI April/May 05 -ve
ICSI Sep/Oct 05 +ve result 12th October
DD born June 2006
ICSI Oct/Nov08 -ve
Male Factor
First ICSI October 04 - cycle abandoned high risk of OHSS
ICSI April/May 05 -ve
ICSI Sep/Oct 05 +ve result 12th October
DD born June 2006
ICSI Oct/Nov08 -ve
Oh Jill
I'm so, so sorry. I'm typing this at work and trying not to cry. You've been so supportive to everyone, and it all seemed to be going so well for you until that first terrible scan. Words can not express how devastated you and DH must be, but I hope you can both draw some comfort from each other. There's nothing I can say that will help, but know that we are all thinking of you and sending you our love.
Lots of love, Jools xxx
I'm so, so sorry. I'm typing this at work and trying not to cry. You've been so supportive to everyone, and it all seemed to be going so well for you until that first terrible scan. Words can not express how devastated you and DH must be, but I hope you can both draw some comfort from each other. There's nothing I can say that will help, but know that we are all thinking of you and sending you our love.
Lots of love, Jools xxx
Me 31 (dodgy ovulation)
DH 39 (dodgy swimmers)
TTC 9 Years, 12 months on Clomid 6 yrs ago
1st IVF/ICSI Sept 04 +ve, m/c at 5 1/2 weeks
Couldn't face the pain again.....
DH 39 (dodgy swimmers)
TTC 9 Years, 12 months on Clomid 6 yrs ago
1st IVF/ICSI Sept 04 +ve, m/c at 5 1/2 weeks
Couldn't face the pain again.....
Jill,
So sorry to hear this news. I can't hope to ease the pain...you and your partner are in all of our thoughts and hearts right now. Mourn your loss...I cried, felt so bereft and felt terribly cheated after my very early miscarriage (I did not get to the point you did) but by the by I felt ready to try again, also I felt comforted by the fact that I was at least pregnant for a moment, and that if it could happen once, it could happen again...But I'm getting way ahead of where you are right now and so please know that you and your DH have my deepest sympathy for your loss.
Luv and hugs, Elizabeth
So sorry to hear this news. I can't hope to ease the pain...you and your partner are in all of our thoughts and hearts right now. Mourn your loss...I cried, felt so bereft and felt terribly cheated after my very early miscarriage (I did not get to the point you did) but by the by I felt ready to try again, also I felt comforted by the fact that I was at least pregnant for a moment, and that if it could happen once, it could happen again...But I'm getting way ahead of where you are right now and so please know that you and your DH have my deepest sympathy for your loss.
Luv and hugs, Elizabeth
Jill
i am so very sorry to read your sad news i wish there was more i could say but i no nothing will help right now
thinking of you Take care
sue
i am so very sorry to read your sad news i wish there was more i could say but i no nothing will help right now
thinking of you Take care
sue
Me 27 DP 28
ttc 6 years started ivf Oct 03 due to M/F
ICSI Oct 03 negative
ICSI April 04 Positive but ended m/c at 10wks
FET Nov 04 positive boy girl twins born 5th july 2005 at 35weeks Blake 6lbs13oz kirsten 6lbs10oz
ttc 6 years started ivf Oct 03 due to M/F
ICSI Oct 03 negative
ICSI April 04 Positive but ended m/c at 10wks
FET Nov 04 positive boy girl twins born 5th july 2005 at 35weeks Blake 6lbs13oz kirsten 6lbs10oz
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Guest
Jill
This is just terrible. I cannot believe it has turned out like this for you. I know you are going through hell and not a lot we can say will make you feel any better.
Please feel free to email me at any point to shout or cry about anything. Take it easy for a while........give each other loads of hugs.
I am truely sorry, how cruel this process really is.
Big hug Jill
Jenfx
This is just terrible. I cannot believe it has turned out like this for you. I know you are going through hell and not a lot we can say will make you feel any better.
Please feel free to email me at any point to shout or cry about anything. Take it easy for a while........give each other loads of hugs.
I am truely sorry, how cruel this process really is.
Big hug Jill
Jenfx