Okay, . . . What's next . . . .

Eve · Post by **Eve** » Thu Aug 22, 2002 8:30 am

Hi all. Recently had a missed miscarriage following IVF. Where the baby stays inside but dies - so we went for an 8 week scan and baby had died. No bleeding, no pain. Had to go in hospital for an evac, in a ward where women were having terminations!! After 5 years trying for a baby and thousands of pounds of treatment we have now had 3 missed miscarriages in a row and have to wait 3 months to see a Professor before we can discuss our options. Has anyone else been through anything like this? Lots of advice and help needed - me & hubby struggling! Thanks Eve xx

fi · Post by fi » Thu Aug 22, 2002 8:58 am

Hi Eve, Can't offer any advice I am afraid, since I haven't been through your situation, just wanted to say though that was so upset by your news and what happened at the scan. I know that you have to wait 3 months, which is so the best thing for your sanity, have to say you sound to be doing 'OK' can't think of another word, coping I guess, better than the majority of people would. You must be a very strong person/couple. Have they offered any counselling? maybe give it a few weeks but it might help you come to terms with everything that has gone on recently, and talking it through with someone who is not involved, may help. Thinking of you, life is so unfair, fi

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Thu Aug 22, 2002 2:02 pm

Eve So sorry about your news. We had exactly the same happen to me on December 28th 2001, we had best Christmas and the worst new year ever. I had my first m/c five years ago after a natural pregnancy at 12 weeks, no heart beat when I had my 12 week scan, then started IVF after problems with my tubes subsequently I have had two chemical m/c's and the big blow at the end of last year last year when i also had m/c at 8 weeks after seeing the heartbeats of twins at six, we where devastated. I am now in the 2ww of my sixth attempt. There is nothing anyone will be able to say to make you feel any better and don't believe people who say you will get over it, often they haven't been through IVF and M/c's themselves, all you can do is try to look forward, at this moment in time I am sure you don't feel this is possible but believe me it is, I always try to focus on hubby and remember he is going through it all too and this helps me to get on with my next attempt. I have had all the tests to see if there is any reason for the m/c's but there is no reason at all just one of the 1 in 3, so don't presume they will come up with any answers because often they don't. I got realy fed up with people telling me "at least you can get pregnant" like it is going to make me feel any better. Anyway I won't go on. I have attached my e mail address for you to reply if you feel you want to talk more privatly. Keep in touch, and remember you and hubby are the only ones going through this, so support each other, it helps you both to come to terms with it. Best wishes Sandraxx

Alison · Post by **Alison** » Thu Aug 22, 2002 5:32 pm

Hi Eve - I had a sneaky look at the pregnancy board a week or two ago and read your posts - I am so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through but hope this might be helpful. I had a consultation last week following a chemical pregnancy (and before that a failed IVF attempt) and was told that, apart from bad luck, the 2 possible barriers to IVF not working with reasonable embryos was either a womb problem or an embryo problem (which I guess is common sense really). They've said next time they'll put me on aspirin and also heparin to help the womb situation. They also said they could do pre-implantation genetic diagnosis on the embryos prior to putting them back to rule out chromosomal abnormalities being the problem. My gut feeling was that with just 2 failures we're not quite at that stage, but wondered whether it might be something you're consultant would consider with you. There's some blurb about it on this site. With love and best wishes Alison x

Eve · Post by **Eve** » Wed Aug 28, 2002 10:29 am

Thankyou all for such sweet kind words. Me & hubby both okay - think this has made us stronger! Have tears occasionally, like on Saturday when lost in Selfridges and kept going round in circles & ending up in "babyland"!!! We have our appointment through to see the Professor - Nov29th! Seems like forever away, apparently he is lecturing out of UK for much of Autumn!! I'll keep updating you all, it feels nice to know that some people are as unlucky as us and can still hold our hands through the darkest days. Thank you all Do keep posting Eve xxxx

emma8 · Post by **emma8** » Thu Aug 29, 2002 9:59 am

read your mail, firstly my heart goes out to you as I know how you feel. I have has several treatments (not ivf yet) but about to. I have had two miscarriages in 5 months both 8 weeks for no reason. I also had a horrible experience as during the first, they were no beds on the ward so I had to be treated in A & E and finally when I went up for the evac I had to go on the ward with expectant mothers! Having read some of the posts on this site it seems that everyone is different and the best thing to help is to know you are not alone. I have just had lots of tests done to see if there was a reason for the miscarriages, have you had those? Mine were negative so we will start ivf now. Chin up, although I know it is hard. lol emma8

Tee · Post by **Tee** » Fri Aug 30, 2002 8:13 am

Hi Eve, Firstly let me say how sorry I am for what you've been through, I hope you and your hub are finding your way through it. I've never been pregnant, but after reading quite a bit about the link between endometriosis and antiphospholic antibodies on American sites, I persuaded my doc to do some immunology tests. The reason I'm telling you is that these tests are usually done on women with a history of repeat miscarriages. There's some info about all this on the following sites: millenova.com/tests/ata.asp lupus.org.uk/home.html hughes-syndrome.org At least it might give you some ideas about what to talk to your Professor about. I haven't had my results yet, cos good old NHS seems to have misplaced them. Of course. Good luck Tee xxx

RLV · Post by **RLV** » Tue Sep 10, 2002 8:36 pm

Hi Eve I've finally found my way over to this new board and read your posts. As you know, I followed in your footsteps a couple of weeks ago and lost my baby at 11 weeks (same as you - no bleeding or pain and had an evacuation). I am going to try and email you from the link on your post so hope it works! Take care, luv Rachel XX

RLV · Post by **RLV** » Tue Sep 10, 2002 8:47 pm

Hi again Just tried to email you and then found you've blocked your email from being shown (like I have!). If you go back to old board, I've posted you a message and given my email address on it - please have a look and then email me (if you want!). Would love to hear from you, Rachel X

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