Is IVF Surrogacy a good idea for me?

Nicki · Post by **Nicki** » Mon Sep 23, 2002 8:24 am

Hi I'm new! I'm 26 years old and married. I was dx with metastatic Breast Cancer 2 1/2 years ago and had chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments. My husband and I have just been declined as potential adoptive parents because my consultant cannot say whether I'll live 5 or 50 years, which is not secure enough for the adoption agencies. Do you think surrogacy would be a good idea? Does anyone know what options we have to complete our family? Any advice would be gratefully received! Thanks very much, Nicki

Lucy · Post by **Lucy** » Mon Sep 23, 2002 8:50 am

Hi Nicki You must be feeling that everything is against you having a family and all I can do is say that there alot of women on this site fighting to get the family they want so don't give up hope. I don't know about surrogacy but have read about it and it does work for some people, you just have to find the right surrogate mother. There must be someone you can contact about this on the internet. You must have had a really tough time of life recently and now the quest for a child is another rollercoaster ride of emotions to get through I wish you all the very best and remember we are here to help if we can. Love Lucyx

Sandra S · Post by **Sandra S** » Mon Sep 23, 2002 12:31 pm

Hi Nicki Sorry to hear about your illness - hope you are fine now. Can't you get a second opinion as it all sounds a bit vague, sureyly someone can give you more information than that? Not sure about your situation and sorry if I am being thick but do you need a surrogate? I assume your eggs are no longer usable because of chemo etc but wouldn't you be able to use donor eggs, fertlised with hubby's sperm and then placed inside you by IVF? I think it is quite costly and may take a while to find a donor but if your womb is ok it might be worth considering - you'd be able to carry it and give birth that way. If you do need a surrogate I know there are agencies you can go to but not sure how to find them. Maybe the best thing you could do is speak to your consultant about it/book an appointment with an Infertility Clinic consultant (will be private unless you are fortunate) and discuss the options. Your GP may be able to refer you. I wish you luck whatever you do but this site is really helpful if you have any other questions or worries people are always willing to help. Sandra X

Nicki · Post by **Nicki** » Wed Sep 25, 2002 7:12 am

Hi, thanks for the replies! Unfortunately I have to take Arimidex tablets every day and have an injection every 3 months to stop my ovaries working. If I stop taking all these, there is a high chance that the cancer will spread and maybe finish me off. This is why I'm trying to find any other option that may be possible. The Macmillan Breast Cancer nurse at my hospital is coming over this evening so I will discuss any options with her. I have also booked an appointment to see my consultant again - I don't want to be fobbed off with vague answers and that's all she's given me so far! I will let you know how it goes - and the very best of luck to you too. I hope to keep in touch! xx

Seal · Post by **Seal** » Wed Sep 25, 2002 10:00 am

As you say it is best to investigate all options. There is a British surrogacy agency called COTS which may help. There are US surrogacy agencies as well. I wisk you all the best.