hard to accept

Alette · Post by **Alette** » Mon Dec 27, 2004 4:24 pm

my hospital told me that I may not go on with ivf.

the reason is that I am 40, nearly 41 and after 4 failed ivf's there is no reason to go on.

I find this very very hard to accept.
My fsh is low (4.4)
my eggs were okay
the percentage fertilisation was more than 80%..

and besides this, I would have like to be the one to say, sorry, I do not want to go on (this was going to be after the 5th attempt, my husband and I already decided).

I am now looking for Belgium, in Brussels they do not make such a fuss out of 40... but would it make any sense at all???

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 9:42 pm

Alette, I sympathise with you. It is tough to have the decision made for you vs. you and DH making up your minds re. your own timescales.

Going to Belgium for treatment sounds like an excellent idea. Provided the journey isn't too far (how far is it?) for scans, appointments and checkups. Why not? If you don't feel ready to stop, why should you? I'm guessing you have to pay? We've always been private due to my age so I understand completely where you are coming from.

Take care and post more when you've found out more. It might be the answer.

hugs
Debra.

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 10:05 pm

Right do not give up you must must must go to a Care clinic and have a consultation with them. there are a few about , this happend to me and I changed clinics and they were fantastic. they will not give up on you , My clinic said no more only because I wasnt good for their statistics , you should be the one to make that decision not them . please call me if you want but if you dont want to give up and have another go then you must have a consultation else where . we paid £25 to have all our notes and went from John Radcliff to Care in Northampton and it was the best move ever , they are so much more conciderate and there for you not their statistics. let me know how you got on .

jill dickens · Post by **jill dickens** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 11:41 pm

Hi Alette,
I am just wondering how you are doing and if things have moved on at all?
If you have a minute write and let us know how are you are love Jill x

ogr1 · Post by **ogr1** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:41 am

just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you..
i hope that you have talked with another doctor..
alot of women have gotten pregnant that are over 40 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alette · Post by **Alette** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 11:51 am

Thanx honnies.

on the 5th of January I wrote a letter to the hospital asking them to reconsider their decision.

I do not want to accept that the 4th ivf was my last one.

We were thinking of going to Belgium (4 hours drive) for in Belgium they are more flexible about age.

But.

But.

Yesterday we received a telephonecall from the fertilityclinic saying....

YES!!

we may go for another try!!!

This will be my fifth ivf and my last one.

Whether or not it succees, I am very happy, this way we can close our ttc period, for us, the limit was 41.
After 24 IUI treatments and 5 IVF we think we did everything we could to have a child.
It will be our decision, not the hospitals.

Thanx for all the support!

Alette

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 1:15 pm

Alette, I'm so pleased to see your clinic reconsidered. You must be delighted to have another chance and be in control of what happens next.

What will your dates be - AF etc? I know someone over on the general forum is looking for Feb buddies, so are you ready.....???

hugs
Debra.

ogr1 · Post by **ogr1** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 3:30 pm

this is great news....

or you going to try any thig different ?

becky

jill dickens · Post by **jill dickens** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:46 pm

Hi Alette,
I am very pleased for you, lets hope it works out this time fingers crossed for you love Jillx

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 7:12 pm

well done I am so chuffed for you both

Trace x

sharoninsomerset · Post by **sharoninsomerset** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 9:47 pm

Alette,

Really good to hear that you have another shot. Everyone has their cutoff point where they feel that they have given it there best possible shot and to have that taken away would make you wonder for the rest of your life "what if".....my cutoff point was 5 ivf's also as that would have been 2 years of treatment and £15,000 of money. However, my FSH went up and so I never got to the 5th altough I am happy that we have decided to call it a day as I really do feel that the odds weren't great for us. However, if your FSH is good like you say then go for it and I will keep me fingers crossed

Take care
Sxx

Alette · Post by **Alette** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 1:43 pm

Sharon what a pity.
But what a nice adventure to go for adoption!
Here in Holland I would not make a chance for adoption (too old) but apparently not in the UK?

Becky, no, we are not trying something different. Only the hormons, Gonal F instead of Puregon (do not ask me why).

Thank you all for your support and comments!!

Alette

jill dickens · Post by **jill dickens** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 8:37 pm

Hi Alette,
I have just read your note to Sharon. I can't believe 40 is too old to adopt in Holland! What is the cut off age they allow there? I am 40 and just started the adoption process in England, no one has mentioned my age at all. Let me know what the rules are there. Take care love Jill xx

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Fri Jan 21, 2005 10:06 pm

Just to throw my thoughts in...I know that the countries that the adopted children come from have different rules re. potential parents. Age is one issue that varies. I remember a friend adopting from Korea and being worried that they wouldn't have time to adopt a sibling before her husband turned 42, which was the max at that time for a Korean child. Their 2nd choice was Ethiopia as that had a more generous max. age.

Hope this helps.
Debra.

jill dickens · Post by **jill dickens** » Sat Jan 22, 2005 12:21 am

Hi Debra,
Thanks for that, I hadn't realised countries had such different rules regarding age.
Love jill x

hard to accept

hard to accept

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