question about IVF!

Hollistrprncess · Post by **Hollistrprncess** » Sat Jan 15, 2005 4:30 pm

Hi Im new here and my name is Tiffany. My husband and I have an appiontment this month with a fetility clinic on the 25th and we are very excited. We are considering the IVF with sperm sorting because we want a little girl. we already have a son and want to even out the family. My question is, anyone here on this board who has done IVF, how long did it take to become pregant? I am so anxious and want to know how long it actually takes for some people to concieve using that method. Please respond.. thanks a bunch!

Sand · Post by **Sand** » Sat Jan 15, 2005 5:24 pm

Tiffany - Welcome to the site. I'm afraid your question is rather like how long is a piece of string ...

Some girls are exceptionally lucky, and are sucessful on their first attempt. Others take a little longer - maybe 2 / 3 / 4 cycles. Sadly, for some, the dream just doesn't happen.

Your post reads that you're embarking on IVF to ensure you have a little girl - rather than your inability to conceive again. I can kind of go with that, in an ideal world - but pls understand that there are hundreds of girls on this site who would give anything to hold their own baby, of whatever sex.

Sandra x

victoria82 · Post by **victoria82** » Sat Jan 15, 2005 8:11 pm

i totally agree with sandra. i dont care if i have 2 girls or more. i will give anything to have a child.

victoria

Hollistrprncess · Post by **Hollistrprncess** » Sat Jan 15, 2005 9:34 pm

Thanks for your reply Sandra. I do realize that lots of woman are trying hard to have a baby and that is why i am here also. My husband and i have TTC for almost 2 years off and on and since we have the opportunity for gender selection , doesnt make it wrong that i come to a message board like everyone else to discuss my feelings. That is why we are all here to discuss our own issues. Obviously some people discourage the gender selection and thats fine, but that is what we have decided to do. Theres nothing wrong with wanting the best of both worlds and if Science is out there to do it, then I am for it all the way.

DebraP · Post by **DebraP** » Sat Jan 15, 2005 9:42 pm

Tiffany, sadly Sandra is right. IVF can take both months and/or years or longer. We were lucky first time but since then all attempts have failed. So there's really no definite answer to your question.

A slightly different perspective is that most of us on this board are in Europe (but definitely not all) where sperm sorting and gender selection are illegal, it makes it slighly difficult to id with.

I wish you luck.
Debra.

Hollistrprncess · Post by **Hollistrprncess** » Sat Jan 15, 2005 9:48 pm

I had no idea sperm sorting was illegal over in Europe! Its become quite popular here in the states I believe. People have been doing it for years! But thanks for your reply, I appreciate it and now understand why i got a thumbs down on it...lol. But thanks for the encouragment and I will continue posting when i can!

Hollistrprncess · Post by **Hollistrprncess** » Sat Jan 15, 2005 9:49 pm

Debra, I see you had a successful IVF in 2002! Do you mind me asking how many cycles it took for you? Thanks!

maryellen · Post by **maryellen** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 3:35 pm

Tiffany,

I have had five attempts at IVF over the last four years and each time have fallen pregnant to only go and lose them each time (mainly twins) between and 8-10 wks. I have also got a fab daughter by my late husband. So really IVF is a rollercoaster and not always successful. I wish you luck although a bit unsure about the gender selection having not really read much about it - but you have enthused me to go and do a little research a bit naive on this topic. All I do know is anyone going through IVF needs help and support and that is what we are all here for.

Good luck and take care

Mary-Ellen

Leanne · Post by **Leanne** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 10:33 pm

Hi,
Sorry to be one of the negative responses to you, but, I agree it isn't all about making the "ideal" family, for many it is just about making "a" family!!! It's not like going shopping for the matching handbag

Sorry to be so blunt but it really is a sensitive subject for many.
I do wish you luck and hope your dreams come true xx

Me and my DH, trying ttc 6 1/2 years

Hollistrprncess · Post by **Hollistrprncess** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 12:45 pm

I dont believe there is anything insensitive about gender selection. If you want the "ideal family" and are able to make it possible, then one, it saves on over populating the world and two, the science is there to do it.

maryellen · Post by **maryellen** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 4:05 pm

Sorry Tiffany but I felt I needed to reply once again. I am not one to ever get in the way of what people think and feel but I must say that this gender selection thread is getting alittle too much I think for some people. I understand both sides and after having lost 14 babies I think I can honestly say that this issue is a little sensitive to some people - not everyone - but there are some that are very sensitive to this issue and I do not think you can see it that way. We here in England are not all opposed to gender selection but it is made illegal for reasons, I have yet to still read up on this subject so do not wish to say too much. All I would like to say is please bear in mind Tiffany that some people are sensitive to this issue and you saying they are not really can cause unwanted offence I feel from yourself.
Take care
All the best

Mary-Ellen

jill dickens · Post by **jill dickens** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 8:04 pm

Hi Tiffany,
I am in complete aggreement with Mary-Ellen and the other women who have replied to you. I like many on this board have had successful IVF and then gone onto have a M/C, and will now never have a baby. It feels very insensitive to me that you are writing about gender selection here. A woman wrote recently about wanting a baby girl and she already had five boys, I was the only one who replied to her. I can only assume that other people were upset by her lack of sensitivity at what others were going through. I am sorry you are getting such a negative response here maybe there is a site out there that deals with this area of fertility which will be more use to you. As I said to the woman with the five boys I wish you luck with your treatment but hope if it does not work you will find consolation in the child you have and know how lucky you are.
Jill x

Hollistrprncess · Post by **Hollistrprncess** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 11:04 pm

Hey Jill I appreciate your comments. I didnt know that gender selection was going to start such an uproar here or i would have never entered the message board. I came here to share experiences and feelings that were similar to everyone else. Again, I do not believe I am being insensitive about the gender selection topic. Its not abortion , its creating life and being able to make a concious decision about it. I am sorry for all the losses everyone has had through the process and i wish everyone luck.

ogr1 · Post by **ogr1** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:27 am

when we went for our first ivf they asked us and we told them that it didnt matter.

everyone does have a right to feel and think what they want..
who is to say what is ok and what isnt.
i remember when they first started ivf and that was a huge up roar

people thought how could any body want a baby out of a test tube..

i know for me i would love nothing more to give birth to our child and to have our child born and know nothing but love.

ivf is so very hard and i dont think that any of us have had an easy time of it..
the first time that we did ivf we where pregant with our son and daughter. we thought that we had the best of everything..
i would love to have a daughter i always wanted to name her after her grandmothers. it breaks my heart that that wont ever happen..

i sometimes wonder that if maybe that i was only pregnant with a girl maybe i would stay pregnant. sence all my mc have been boys.
i know that that isnt true in my case any way. but i have thought it..

but i live in a house full of boys and when our daughter comes home it is nice not being the only female

but for most of us we have had to do ivf because that is the only slim chance that we have to have our babies..
but again we do need to come out of the dark ages...
i would ate for anyones baby to get teased cause they where born threw ivf...

still prayer that all of our hopes and dreams come true and that we will all have some peace..
becky

cath · Post by **cath** » Sat Jan 22, 2005 3:51 pm

only 2 years ttc? try it for 13 years!! i'd be very gratefull whatever the sex. have you thought of looking at the sex selection column on this forum instead of the ivf one?

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question about IVF!

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