Third time unlucky.....

nicolam · Post by **nicolam** » Fri Oct 04, 2002 1:42 pm

Congratulations to you Sue - I bet you're so happy. Wish I could be jumping for joy with you, but unfortunately it's game over for me. Did the test this morning (day 16) still no blood and it was negative. Cruelly the next time I went to the loo, there was slight bleeding. Sounds weird but I could have handled the negative test better if I'd seen some blood, would've helped me be prepared, but for the first time I was actually thinking it had worked. How stupid can I be. Well AF still hasn't happened in full, but think it will tomorrow. I am so gutted, thankfully DH was there and he was lovely. It was the worst 3 minute wait - I felt shaky and physically sick. Well it wasn't meant to be, so now DH is going have to try plan D - to take a trip to Bologna where they can do a sperm test to see if there are any chromasone problems. Will be a 2 month wait for the results, then we can decide whether to bother trying with the 6 frozen ones we've got. Our problem is DH's sperm don't seem to want to fertilize my eggs on their own, so we've had to try ICSI twice. I'm back at work - really didn't want to come in, but had to as it's so busy, however, it's actually helped me get back to normal and I haven't cried or screamed at anyone! Yet! Well I think I'll have a rest from this site for a bit - just need to get away from it all - nothing personal! On the plus side - I can get drunk tonight - stop taking the horrid suppositories and I'm going to give Metformin tablets a rest too - having been on them almost a year. We're also planning to go away right after Christman and have New Year in Mexico. So for all you chaps out there about to embark on the wait, I'd recommend planning some nice things so that if it doesn't work, you've got something to look forward to. Good luck Sue - try and keep calm re. the bleeding - it seems so common to have that. Well tara for now - till the next time....

alice · Post by **alice** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 12:13 am

Hi Nicola, I have not written on this site for ages as I am inbetween cycles, but I just wanted to offer you my support. I have also 3 failed attempts of IVf behind me and know how you feel. On my last attempt I made it past day 11, which is a record for me and as you say it is easier to cope with blood than just a negative. It all seems so unfair that it happens for some first times and others seemingly never. You sound as though you have got a good contingency plan and I really hope you enjoy your holiday with hubby. I think its good that you intend on having time away from the site as you need time to become nicola the person again rather than nichola the IVF woman. Take good care of yourself and I will look for you popping back now and again. we'll get ther! alice xx

nicolam · Post by **nicolam** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 2:55 pm

Thanks Alice. Thought I'd pop back just in case anyone replied. Can you believe I've had to come in to work today as we're so busy, but actually I don't mind, DH away working and I don't really want to be hanging around at home on my own, thinking about it. You're so right about being 'me' again. That's exactly how me and DH felt this morning. We've been quite jolly as we feel that it's all over - in a positive sense, where can just go back to being normal for a while. I've been such a cow to DH when on the various drugs, though at the time swore that it was nothing to do with them, but now I feel almost calm again. And I can't wait to go cycling again (without worrying about orange-sized ovaries jigging about!) Get bladdered with the girls, oh and having sex - haven't had it for 2 months! I started IVF treatment in January this year and it's been back to back IVF all year - feel mentally exhausted (not to mention by bank balance having spent £5500 so far). I'm going to be 35 next June, so that's worrying me, as they always quote that age as the one when you're half as fertile as when you're 21 etc. Well I'll look out for you too Alice, really is a comfort knowing you're not the only one out there going through 'it'. I mean if the NHS don't recognise it as being important enough to fund in most part of the country, what chance have we got making normal folk realise what an absolute nightmare it is, esp when you hear that some people can get sex changes and boob jobs done on the NHS! Well, enough of that soap-box talk - maybe 'chat' in the future - think we will start again Feb time if DH's results are OK. Best wishes N x

alice · Post by **alice** » Mon Oct 07, 2002 3:47 pm

Nicola, just wanted to say good for you. it is always a relief when its over and you can move on. I am just getting on with life at the moment and doing all the things you mentioned. Its taken me about 2 months to develop this attitude, but its good. I will probably go agaion in feb too. Maybe? Its all such a gamble isn't it. I bet DH is happy to have you back as I know that Matt is always glad when its over and the tears have gone as we can go out and enjoy ourselves again. Life is too short really. as for your age, I wouln't worry about it. I went for my first consultation when I was 23 and still have had no success and appaerently there is nothing wrong with me. Its all down to luck and persistence. enjoy your time off and come back to the site when you want to and feel like it. I always check in every week to see whats happening. love to you and DH alicexxx

karenkirwan · Post by **karenkirwan** » Wed Oct 09, 2002 12:46 pm

To Nicola, I am new to the site but just wanted to let u know that ur disappointment is shared. I have had 3 IUI's, 2 IVF's before they discovered something more serious with my hubby & 3 failed ICSI's. The problem I have is after E/T I never even make it to the pregnancy date, I just bleed after 7 days and they keep telling me to rest just in case i'm only loosing one embryo, so I keep going through the heartache of wondering until I feel like I've bleed to death 2 or 3 days later.I wonder will I ever get to the DDay let alone try for the test.I was that pissed off that in anger I took myself of the private & NHS waiting lists. I'm just sorry that I didn't discover this site while on my treatments. Take ur time out & enjoy that holiday & who know's what a new year's luck might you. I wish you all the best. Karen XX

Zoe · Post by **Zoe** » Wed Oct 09, 2002 11:01 pm

Hello all, I just found this website today having just come to the end of an unsuccessful IVF/ICSI cycle (my first). I tested negative on day 16 after ec and my period started later in the day. That was Sunday 6 October. I'm still feeling a bit upset. I so wish I had found this site before, especially in the 2WW. I have learnt so much just by reading through the messages. I guess this could be the first of many disappointments though judging from what some of you have been through. I really admire all your perseverance. Does it get easier? Do most people have a recovery period before going for a second try? I am not really sure what I am going to do next. I'm 33, been trying for a baby for 3 years only to recently discover my husband's sperm was not quite OK, so we were advised ICSI straight off. I had 14 eggs collected, of which we had 7 embryos. 2 were put back, 1 eight cell and 1 five cell. The embryo transfer really hurt me, I don't know why. Has anyone else had this? Do you think it could be a reason why it didn't work. It would be so nice if there was a reason.