My 4th and Final ICSI Failure -

[KarenSmiff]

Hello Everyone

Well, what a disaster this cycle has been. I am crap at responding to stims, and this time had 6 follicles, but only two eggs collected, the other sacs were cysts. Chuffed to bits to hear that one did fertilise, but then kicked in the teeth yesterday cus it stopped developing. £4000 down the swanny. aaaaarrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I am all cried out, and have now decided not to have any further treatments. So looks as though I will be a three hols a year gal!

Reason for our treatment was male factor, failed reversal (he has two boys), but the count at ec day was normal!! first time ever, but it does have antibodies, which my body would reject before they reach the egg!

Does any one know much about sperm antibodies?? Can they go away??

well anyway, I am going to buy an ovulation tester, and then give it a chance??? The embryologist said, people in our circumstances do get pregnant but its been 5 years now, and it aint happened naturally so I think we would need a miracle in that respect!


GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE


Karenx

[brennang1]

Hi Karen - Just wanted you to know how sorry I am for you both! - You must be feeling so down and like the world is against you at the moment but it will get better!


Please dont give up!! - Stay positive and remember miracles do happen!!!!!!!!

Take Care

Gaynor

[DebraP]

Karen, so sorry about your abandoned treatment. You must be devastated - understandably.

Did you see the Dr Beers post recently? I'd not heard of him before but his clinics appear to specialise in WHY tmts fail and look at the underlying medical causes. You might want to have a read of his website. Another poster mentioned the Fertility Friends board had quite a few mentions of the Beer clinic. I did a quick search on the net and there were lots of mentions. If you've got the time, have a read. He may not offer you and DH the answer but you might find some interesting info.

Hugs
Debra.

[debbieed]

Hello Karen,
Sorry to read your news. It must be very hard to reach the decision you have but only you know what is best for you. Take care of yourself and don't forget that this board will still be here for you.

Debbie

[Sand]

Karen, I really feel for you, and can imagine how terrible you're feeling. It's just not fair when you've put yourself through so much.

I hope you do find some answers, and, as we all know it can and does happen naturally when some of the pressure is off.

Take care

Sandra x

[mindyvic]

Hi Karen,
I am sorry to hear your news. You are not on your own though, I have had 4 failed IVF this last year and know exactly how you feel. I was about to give up on the hope of having a child but I read about acupuncture and as a last resort we decided to give it a go. I've had 4 treatments and the practitioner is pleased with how things are going, so fingers crossed... maybe an alternative treatment is what you need. Either way, dont give up, if women over 50 and 60 are having babies then so can we

[Traci]

Hi Karen
Snap we have both the same situation , so far Cameron has had a Vasectomy reversal but the motility was 20% now down to 5% he also has 2 boys . anyway over the past 11 years they have never found anything wrong with me I ovulate etc etc etc except that my FSH in the last 2 years has gone from 6.4 to 23 . the first ICSI in 2002 I had 5 eggs 3 fertilised the 2nd just about got 3 and 2 fertilised they nearly abandond my cycle till I kicked and screamed at them . then I switched clinics . I then had 3 donor eggs from my cousin still negative and then another 2 from an anonimus donor . my clinic say I should try with my own again as they can put me on hrt before but my sister is donating to me next january as I need time out from it all and that will defo be my last go £ 16000 so far and the next ICSI will be another £6000 .

Good luck with trying , I bought a kit called persona and that was for protection but I used it back to front but it was good anyway .

Trace x

[ogr1]

hello karen,

and i just wanted to let you know that i was thinking of you...






traci what is persona

[Nick]

Dear Karen,

I logged on today to see how you were getting on. Oh Karen, what can I say. Sorry is simply not strong enough. It is all so desperately sad.

I think the last time you messaged was when you were asking about short protocol. We both seem to have very similar histories - lately poor response.

I am sorry to hear that things haven't gone well and I like you would be cried out too. (Give it a couple of weeks) It is devestating, and even if you try to make light of it all, to help - it is so unfair, particularly when you are on the right side of 30.

Now, plse, forgive me if this is not the right time to suggest solutions etc. But I thought it may be of interest to you. When my new clinic put me on a short protocol they gave me hrt to begin with. Was that suggested to you? The nurse said that it helps to lower my FSH, which was 10.3. Indeed they waited until I was 6 something before stimulating me with 225 IU FSH. I have absolutely know idea how I will respond. As you may remember I have begun to respond poorly, only getting 2 eggs the last time (on the ordinary protocol). But I thought it might be interesting for anyone else who may be in a similar position - Traci? - with raised FSH.

Alternatively it could also be a complete disaster. But heh, if we can help anyone complete this ever lengthening fertility marathon, this is the place. I have my first scan on Wed

Can't believe that batton is going up again....after a 6 month break. Argh.

Please be kind to yourself, and try and be strong. You are very much in my thoughts.

Nicky

[KarenSmiff]

Thanks for your replies everyone.

You are the only people who understand. I went back to the clinic this week cus of having stomach pains still after ec, and they checked me out just to make sure. Everything is ok and it was just muscular pains from the pulling and pricking.
No-one has mentioned HRT ever to me??? Two individual members of staff at the clinic told me to make sure I get my review appointment, and both said "there are other alternatives", so guess they are gonna say donor or not worth trying again.

Me & DH have discussed it, but he is aprehensive to use Donor, especially with this new ruling in March about the anomonity issues. But if it meant baby or no baby I think it is worth a try. & he already has two kids so there is no way he would know how it feels. I cant bear thinking about life without having a baby. It would be so sad. & I try to get him to look at it my way.

I would consider trying donor IUI, but I know he will poo poo it.

God life is soo hard sometimes. I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL AAARRRHH

Anyway - sorry to be all doom and gloom.

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE

Kazx

[ogr1]

you are not gloom and doom...

these are your feelings and they are very important dont ever just shrug them off.. or they will come back and haunt you.....

could they maybe be thinking about other meds?

becky