Time off work.......

[nicolamark]

I am going to tell my boss tomorrow, of the forecoming treatment that we will start this year.
I am scared, he's not the most understanding manager. Where do u stand in relation to having time off for fertility treatment?
Is it covered under sickness, or holiday entitlement?
I hope it's not un-paid.
HELP!

[DebraP]

Hi Nicola, sorry you're not looking forward to the conversation.

Were you going to tell him details upfront? You wouldn't if it were a different kind of personal medical issue. Couldn't you just say this is advance notice that you'll need some flexibility later in the spring due to some ongoing medical treatment? I'd be surprised if he asked for details but you could hint/say that it's gynae-related and I'd be stunned if he asked for more!!!!

I don't know what kind of work you do, but managers like to be given solutions not problems so why not quickly add that you've already thought through how to reduce any disruption and you'll make up for any unavoidable lost time, try to schedule any apts. for as early as possible, skip lunch on those days, reduce your overtime claims or whatever is appropriate in your line of work??? We all know that you might need some days off not just hours but you don't know that for sure yet so why give him a problem before it exists? If you get signed off after EC so be it, you're signed off. We all respond differently to the meds, emotions and treatments but I've been able to work after EC plus felt like working during 2ww. You might want to take the first week as holiday if you prefer - lots of people choose to do this.

I've just re-read your message and despite the above, I'm not sure I've answered your question! I suspect that most people treat their apts. like they would any other doctor apt. but clearly if you've 2 or 3 in a week you might need to make up the lost time if things are busy. I might bring the wrath of the board on my head at this next comment, but many people see having fertility treatment as an option that we've chosen so often view it differently from other medical issues. Some companies might expect you to use your own time or for it to be unpaid. It's very hard to say in your circumstances without knowing who you work for. If you're public sector, I suspect you'll probably be better off than private.

hth and good luck,
Debra.

[ogr1]

i agree with deb about not going into detail..


most boses dont want to know alot and if your lucky enough to have a man then just start to talk about the virgina (is it spelled right?)
and he will so ok to what ever..
you dont want to run the risk of not being coverd...
best of luck
becky

[brennang1]

Hi there - I work for a big company and I am lucky enuogh to have a very understanding manager! - I have had as much time as I have needed - Most appointments I have gone to work in the morning and then gone to the hospital in the afternoon or vice versa!

I was under the impression though that a hospital appointment has to be honoured and covered by your employer?

Good luck and like everyone else has said - I bet your manager won't want to know the gory details!!!!

All the best with your treatment

xx

[Traci]

nicolamark
I agree with the others I would hold back for a while and see how it goes . as long as your boss is ok its fine but you can never tell what they will be like .


Trace x

[nicolamark]

Whoops!! I spoke to my manager today! He was ok. I told him I was hoping to start fertility treatment, in the next few months and that I had a consultation at the clinic in 2 weeks time. He was actually ok. Mine you he didn't have a clue, said his aunty had IVF and she didn't have anytime off work as the procedure is so simple, apparently she fell preg first time. Anyway, Ive told him now, he's had notice so lets hope this ok.
Hospital appointments are honoured so thats ok but days off for emotinal stuff, is covered under sickness, but if they start to become very frequent then he would consider me taking them as holidays.
Thanks for ur advice girls!!

[ogr1]

i have never herd before that ivf was simple...


good luck
becky

[CC]

Hi Nicola,

I was very upfront with my boss and I work in education. I wonder whether your boss would class the time after the eggs are transferred as 'emotional' or medical. I think you ought to get some advice - union etc - I think it's an area that needs some serious re-thnk in terms of legislation. It's bad enough that we have to fund it let alone have to battle to manage the treatment around work. I seriously thought about giving up my job but then we can't afford the treatment - viscious circle. Anyway my boss has been quite good so far (I've had 2 ICSI treatments) but I don't know how he'll be if it takes us 4,5 times! I just keep praying that I can keep juggling all these different elements - Oh for a lottery win! If I had a big win - The first thing I'd do is set up a trust for local people who can't afford IVF. Hope you get what you need from your boss and whatever you do DON'T FEEL GUILTY!

[nicolamark]

My boss is an idiot, he hasn't a clue, I can see this getting very 'icky' later on. He seems to think ivf etc... is simple coz his aunty had it and it was easy for her. I am sure he's making the whole aunty story up anyway.

[CC]

Sounds like it - you ought to test him out on the ins and outs - it'll probably turn out to be something completely different that just happens to begin with 'I' - IBS (Irritable bowel syndrome) maybe?! Anyway - see if you can get some sort of timeline from your clinic so you can give him a rough idea of what might be needed (not in detail) but you could say 'I'm likely to need x number of scans, x number of days off etc'. Have you got Zita West's 'Fertility and Conception' book (I think that's what it's called - too lazy to go back upstairs and check!) It's quite helpful for walking you through the various processes. It was a lifesaver in my first treatment because I could keep checking on the next process ( a lot of clinics tend to take it very step by step but I'm a 'big picture' person - I like to know what's coming). Anyway, hope you get the support from work that you need,

Cherylx

[Dagny]

Hi Nicola

Your boss sounds like a total idiot if he thinks IVF is simple. You should point out that even if his 'aunt' had IVF and breezed through it not everyone copes or reacts to the drugs in the same way. I didn't expect to get severe OHSS in my first TMT and be hospitalised for 2 weeks and when I did expect it the next time it didn't happen.

Call his bluff and ask him if you can speak to his aunt as you are nervous about the tmt and she may be able to help you - if he is making it up watch him squirm to get out of it. If he isn't and he's happy for you to talk to her you could get her to explain to your boss how physically and emotionally draining it is on a person especially if they have to juggle work commitments on top!!!

Good luck hun - I hope you don't have too much hassle with him.

D xkx

[DebraP]

Cheryl's comment made me LOL and I suspect maybe closer to the truth with his aunt (ie. that it might have been IBS - which is SO not the same thing ).

Anyway, unless they're super close, what details would he have known? Did she share all the ins and outs (puns intended) and what are the chances that he knows the whole story???

Good luck,
Debra.

[eskavon]

Dear NicolaMark
I'm in the same boat as you and have just told my boss of our impending treatment. I'm glad to say he was very supportive.
Sometimes people surprise you in nice ways.
Yours hopefully

[wendy30]

Hi Nicola

Have you spoken to your GP? Mine is great, he signed me off for the 2www last time, my work know and I am using annual leave this time but I have told them if I do it again later in the year that I will be signed off.

I work for the Council they don't have any specific policy which is not good for a big employer. I worked in pensions for a long time and my company had a fertility policy that entitled you to 2 weeks off in the space of 2 years I think. You just had to get the hospital to do a letter for personnel, better than nothing.

At the end of the day as much as I love my job, having a child is more important to me so you just need to do whats good for you and your treatment.

Wendy

[nicolamark]

I think I shall visit my Gp that's good advice and my GP is female so she'll understand. She is good!!

Anyway, about my boss: He's currently on hols so not been able to spk to him since last week. But still have no cover for when I have my appointmnet next week. I can see it all pear shaped, but hay I am not going to be there, so wont worry, but it's hard as the next day will have extra to get through.