Hi Girls

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:47 am

Just wanted to pop in here and say hi , Ive always wanted to in the past but was affraid of the title "Life after IVF" although its the right one for the bord it is very scarey to be in this one and not the others , I have been very busy lately trying to be normal and getting on with "Life without IVF at all " and it is totally usless where ever you go there is a constant reminder and I thought I was being really brave and shutting it out but it dosent cause when you are weak OUT IT POPS and you cant stop those feelings , I actually went to my friends daughters nativity play and cried all the way through but they were all so lovely at the age of 5 being really good and picking their noses and figiting and poking one another and pulling their halos off !!!! That is what made me go

I will not feel bitter just a bit empty thats all , I am sure like Becky says that there is light at the end of the tunnel just wish there was an express to get you there ! Sorry to be negative but knew you guys would understand.

Merry Christmas everyone

Trace x

Grace · Post by **Grace** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 3:52 pm

Hi Traci
Just wanted to say i really understand how scary it is coming on to this bit of the site. "Life after IVF" seems so final. I think you will find that all of us struggle with that bit. I think it is a slow process and not something that you can just decide and move on with very easily.
I know what you mean about feeling empty, I feel that too. The main thing is that you are not alone in your feelings Traci. That in itself is a help I think.
I don't know where I am in the whole process, sometimes I am okay with it and then I have my bad days.
Wishing you a very happy Christmas and come on here and write, it sometimes does help.
Love
Grace xxx
PS well done on going along to the nativity, that was very brave of you. I know what it is like even if we don't feel like going to these things it is not nice to feel left out either. Very hard though.

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Sat Jan 08, 2005 4:25 pm

Just thought I would say hi , how are you Grace ?

Trace x

jill dickens · Post by **jill dickens** » Sat Jan 08, 2005 5:02 pm

Hi Trace,
It is pretty much a daily struggle and I know what you mean about moving over to this site. I keep thinking but this can't be right I was going to have 2 children whats gone wrong! At that point I realise yet again that I am nowhere near accepting any of this. The only thing I know is that everyone here understands how everyone else feels so you are not alone even if we spend most of our time feeling we are. If writing a PM would help you please feel free and we can chat away together
Take care Trace love Jill x

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Sat Jan 08, 2005 5:26 pm

Hi Jill would like to chat to you very much I will let you have my phone number in a PM and perhaps you can give me yours and I will phone you one day or even some of us could meet up , I live in Oxford where are you based ???

Trace x

ogr1 · Post by **ogr1** » Sat Jan 08, 2005 6:56 pm

how the heck did i miss your post

yes there is light at the end of the tunnle but its hell getting there.
actulay parts of it is great.

i have come to turms with never having a baby , but it still makes me sad when i start my af...
life is short and can be very crule , but i do see joy ..
it like with the children that i do have if alls we look at is the hell they have gone threw then how are they going to get any better...
they have learned that love and trust only hurt so when you finally get them to love and trust you it is amazing.
so with life we need to focus on the good things. that doesnt mean to live in a fantsy and greaving is very important. each child that has come to live with us has had to go threw a greving process of there birth parents to accept us as there parents..

i dont know if any of this is making any sense or not.

i think that i will just go back to raising my post

you are all great women

love becky

jill dickens · Post by **jill dickens** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 11:46 pm

Hi Grace, Traci, Becky, Sharon, Lucy, BeckyM how are you all?
Just checking everyone is doing ok love Jill x

Jo Locker · Post by **Jo Locker** » Wed Feb 16, 2005 4:22 pm

Becky .... i dont know where I've been but I have only seen the photo of your grand-daughters today - they are just adorable in their little dresses!! Do they live near you - will you see a lot of them?? Do hope so.

What you've just written about the children you foster and adopt is so true - they have to learn to trust you when before trust has not paid off for them - I'm sure that they soon learn that they've found the right parents to love and trust cos you are just fantastic. If I ever need to think of someone I truly admire then I think of you. Sorry if this is embarrassing for you but its tru - I'm not sure you're aware of how great what you do is But now you know so there!!!!

lots of love - Jo.XXXXX

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 9:48 am

I will second that jo she is always there for everyone .

Well today I feel like I should start treatment again NOW using my sisters eggs but I know I need time to really think this through , just feeling a bit impatient today I want to take my baby out in the pram for a walk . The spring always makes me feel mushy!!!!

Trace x

Great to see you again JO

Jill hows tricks ?

jill dickens · Post by **jill dickens** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 10:17 am

Hi Trace,
Not too good but thanks for asking, I am struggling alot at the moment.
Hope you are ok take care love Jill xx

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 11:09 am

you poor thing to be so close too words fail me . will you think about going again ? I guess its all too raw for you right now . Gosh you and Dagny have certainly had your fair share of crap luck .

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BIG FAT HUG }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]

Hold in there girl

Trace x

ogr1 · Post by **ogr1** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 1:06 am

thank you ladies....for the great things that you have said...
it does mean alot..
i will think of them the next time one of them are swearing at me.....

traci why are you waiting to start?
if you are going to use your sisters eggs then get going....

i have never been a good one for waiting....
it kind of peeeeeeeeeees me off.....

but it is very important that you and your sister know exactly what is going on and that you are the mother not her..
maybe they could do your eggs and your sisters at the same time and not know which one gets you pregnant...
just a thought that came to my little brain.. and it is little...

jill please know that i am always thinking of yu and there will be good days again.. its just to dang hard to get there.
but you are not alone.. there are alot of women on here that truly do care..
and i am one of them..

love you guys
becky

jill dickens · Post by **jill dickens** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 3:22 pm

Thanks Becky,
love Jill xx

ogr1 · Post by **ogr1** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 7:14 pm

is today any better?

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Mon Apr 11, 2005 8:34 am

Hi Girls

The sun is shining today and I thought of all you girls .
How are you all coping ? I need to make an appointment for my sister to have her first lot of tests etc but its weird I keep putting it off! the thought of going through it all again frightens the pants off of me ! I have become so switched off that its even more scarey then before , I have done this 4 times already whats wrong ????

Hi Girls

Hi Girls

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