The Over 40 Crowd

[randa2006]

Finally got an answer to my question about additional loss to success rate of frozen due to my age. I took a long time to get back to all of you with my answer, because the nurse was telling me yes, and my dh said he was sure the doc had said no during one of our consults. So I waited until I could hear it from the doc's mouth.

The answer is NO!!! We are over the hump since my eggs were of high enough quality to freeze in the first place - no additional danger during the thawing process because of my age!!! Whew! Not that we're happy about the 50% risk, but at least there's no ADDITONAL risk due to my eggs being 43-year-old eggs.

I also found out that one of the 5 has 8 cells and is first quality! The others are 8/3, 6/3, 6/3 and 4/1 - all day-3 embryos.
See, I wouldn't have even known to ask about the grading and cell division counts if I hadn't learned it on this message board. Thank you all! I swear I learn just as much here as at the doc's office.

So, I thought our age group would appreciate knowing this.

Additionally (during our phone follow up today) the doc is recommending that since I am transferring this next round, I should use the down time to get rid of the polyps. It will push my next cycle out, but the gain is worth it. So I won't cycle until late May now. Not happy about waiting longer, but if it increases our chances... I'm on board. That's my update. I've had an out-of-state guest for several days so I haven't been online. Please excuse my lack of reply to your posts. I STILL CARE!

[DebraP]

Julie...well done on the smoking it won't take long to get your sense of smell back then one day you'll open your wardrobe and BANG and the stale smell hits you in the face...revolting. Jeez I'm so damned pleased I gave up. Now you've done the research, it's crazy to continue whilst trying to conceive. Congratulations, you've done the hardest part already. Your weather sounds like ours (I'm in central-Norway)...actually we've warmed up enormously and are back in the +s again, hooray, although the snow will stay until early May or so.


Randa. Thanks for posting the freezing update. It must be good to have made the decision to clear the polyps and get completely ready for the next go. I have to admit to not understanding the US grading system. My clinic just call them grade 1 2 3 etc. What do your numbers mean? (sorry to be so dim). Is the 50% risk you talk of the defrosting rate? I feel like I've missed a chapter in a book and am trying to make sense of the story.....forgive me!

I'm feeling quite good right now. We started packing today so the weekend's move doesn't feel quite so daunting. The meds are going well and my moods are 'OK' although I can snap sooooooo easily. Plus my very healthy eating has paid off and I've dropped a couple of kgs, I didn't have a goal but it's nice to see the scales reflecting all my hard work.

We're doing well ladies!
Debra.

[debbieed]

Hello All,
Sounds as if everyone is doing ok. I'm ok here - not quite off my head yet - although I am getting there. I've watched more daytime TV in the past week than I've watched in the past year!!!!!!!
I'm still trying to take it really easy - getting more diffuclt by the day though. I'm sure I have put on weight as I've done so little - if I get a -ive I'm going to have to put in some serious excercise to shift it, but if I get a +ive then who cares!!!
I guess by this time next week I'll be a bag of nerves (af began sightly on day 11 last time and was full on by day 13) so I'll be holding my breath next Monday. Still seems a long way off and I'm fed up with people asking me 'how I am' (meaning has af started!). I gues one of the things I've liked the least about this whole process is that too many people know far too much about my bodily functions! I haven't told too many people, just a couple of very close friends and close family but it still feels like too many people.

Still, I'm hangin on in there with a PMA, PMA, PMA.

Keep smiling girls

Love
Debbie

[taylorjools]

Hi all
thanks for the encouragement about giving up smoking. Actally my online research really did my head in as I found articles linking smoking to POF. Still I know I can't turn the clock back, but I find it still sometimes hard to get over the fact that I am in this situation because I 1. Wasn't strong anough with dh about going for it earlier 2 I smoked like a chimney 3. I buried my had in the sand about the POF and nearly killed myself in $%&*()*(^&%$ job where the stress just made things worse.

Sorry just needed to get that off my chest. I also still take anti-depressants (makes me sound like a real druggie, but I am not) I will have stopped by next week. Am handling that surprisingly well. I put on over 35kg due to them so looking forward for the hippo look to go away. I hope you guys don't mind when I talk openly aboput my btreakdown? It took me ages to accept it and I am very happy to help anyone else who needs confidence to do counselling or something - I am a new person now. For this I am so lucky to be in Germany, I must say generally the health service is fantastic. Apart from fertility treatement for over 40's!!!

LOve to you all

JulieT

[Alette]

you ladies have been quite busy on this board while I got older and older , yes 41 in the meantime....!

Barcelona, Kiev, all places I would lovvvveee to visit!
Can you be a bit of tourist as well? or are you patient?
This is an international subject!
Norway, Germany, Netherlands and then Kiev, this is Ukraine is it not?, Barcelona....

I had 8 eggs fertilised and they gave me 2....

my testdate is 20 of March (and I intend not to be stupid and test earlier) and they also had a present for me....

3 eggs were that good quality that they were frozen....

we will never loose you, my doctor joked.

Althought I am longing for the end of IVF (I had enough, honestly, I want to make plans, I want to live and not be absorbed by IVF and infertility!!) I was soooo pleased by this news!!
This gives me another chance - and I thought it was over....

[Alette]

Jude, are you testing the day after tomorrow???
fingers crossed!!!!

[DebraP]

Alette, Happy Belated Birthday! I hope it was a good one. I'm 41 in a fortnight so here's hoping it's a lucky year for us both.

Congratulations on getting 5 embies. 2 back and 3 frozen gives you LOADS of chances....that's so exciting. I'll go and add you to the test dates thread.

Good luck with your 2ww.
hugs
Debra.

[randa2006]

Debra,
Yes, the 50% rate is the quoted success rate for frozen embryos vs. fresh transfer (50-60% is what you hear a lot). And the grades are 1-?, 1 being the best and I'm not sure how high it goes. The number before the grade is the cell division count. For instance, my 8/1 is my best embryo because it has 8 cells and is 1st quality. My 4/1 is questionable because, although it was graded as top quality, it divided slower than the rest of the embryos (only 4 cells by day 3). And the others are in the middle. The embryologists at our lab are supposed to be some of the best in the U.S. so I have to trust they know what they're doing.
Hope that clears up my confusing garble.
Now you have to explain to me what a fortnight is?

Alette,
Congratulations on your frozens and your transfers! And Happy B-Day too!!! 41... you're a baby still!

JulieT,
I've always admired people who could kick that nasty habit! YOU ROCK!

Debbie,
Sending baby dust vibes your way!

[JudeM]

Alette

I'm due to test tomorrow (Thursday) but DP is away on business from today until Saturday so I'm in two minds whether or not to hold out to the weekend.

Trouble is - willpower has never been my strong point!


Jude

[Alette]

poor you!

you cannot wait till Saturday!! This is not possible!

but what is it is negative... with whom can you cry then...???

(I once, my second IVF, tested premature without my husband knowing, first a positive, next day a negative, then a positive again, I thought I got crazy!! and I could not tell him for he did not want me to test!)

can you not visit your husband a do a test together??

[JudeM]

Alette

Sadly, he'll be in Bristol from this afternoon & then on to Swansea..and I'm stuck in London.

I will probably test tomorrow and come in to work & either celebrate or drown my sorrows with a few friends who know what's happening.

Jude

[debbieed]

Hello Jude,
If I were you I'd have to test regardless of dp being there. I'm sure he'll be with you in spirit. Still, I guess you have to do what is right for you and if that is to wait then we'll all have to be patient. Do you have any symptoms? I guess af hasn't shown up to make you fear a negative? Keeping my fingers crossed for you whatever you decide.

Take Care
Love
Debie

[taylorjools]

Congrats to the birthday girls - mine's end of March too, nr 42!! wot an oldie!
Jude - aaaghhh - if you do test tomorrow we'll be waiting for you here if you need support - what does dh say about it??? I think mine would leave it up to me (like everything else.... )

I am so excited for all of you testing - the waiting is the worst part - I feel so at home here after just a few days on the forum, thank you all so much.

Oh - event of the day, just realised my passport expired last month!! can you believe with all this and having been international jet-setter (b ch)
I had completely forgotten!!! wot a wally! need to send ++++ve vibes to Dusseldorf so they get it through the system fast.

4th day as a non-smoker, have saved €28 so far.............jaws ache from chewing (normal) gum.........but it's not an effort this time, too much at stake.

Love to all your eggies, embies and frosties and a big fat hallellujah to the Womb fairy...........

LOve and kisses

JulieT

[JudeM]

Not good news.

Did an HPT this morning and it was a BFN

I'll test again tomorrow morning just to be on the safe side but I'm afraid I think it will be a -ive.

Haven't told DP yet as he's running a conference & I didn't want to spoil his day - I'll tell him tonight when he rings.

The clinic rang me this morning to see if I was testing today & after giving them the news we quickly discussed the next steps. If we want try again they have donors ready & waiting so we could proceed almost immediately.

What makes me mad is thinking of all the time we wasted on waiting lists in this country & not one clinic even mentioned the possibility of overseas treatment. We even asked what we could do to speed things up and all they suggested was advertising for a donor.

Sorry for the rant.

Jude

[Alette]

Jude, a big hug of comfort for you!!

what can I say?

xxxx
Alette