Some people have no idea!

LittleP · Post by **LittleP** » Mon Mar 14, 2005 9:39 am

Becky

I've just read your entry and for me it certainly puts a lot into perspective.

You are an inspiration to us all, and your strength is a credit to yourself

As you said - may we all carry bundles of joy very, very soon

Little P

ogr1 · Post by **ogr1** » Mon Mar 14, 2005 5:09 pm

thanks but most of the time i dont feal that strong...

the sun is shinning here today and i think i might just go for a horse back ride......

CC · Post by CC » Mon Mar 14, 2005 10:18 pm

Yes thanks Becky and everyone else for sharing - certainly feels better to know you're not alone, Cherylx

randa2006 · Post by **randa2006** » Tue Mar 15, 2005 3:50 am

Mommies-to-be,
Your venting is reflective of honest pain that you have every right to feel. I'm not about to tell you it's wrong. And this is the place for it.

I hope it's okay if I vent a little too. I am now on both sides of the baby fence. (easy in my 20s, IVF in my 40s) All I can say is, people don't know - they really don't. They probably even think that you enjoy hearing about their day-to-day "normal" conception and delivery so you can see what that's all about and share in it.

I can also tell you they are EXCITED! Just as you would be. They think about it every minute of every day. It's really hard to contain that kind of excitement - and should they?

I'm sorry to preach. It is entirely possible some of these "friends" really are just rude bastards - but most likely not. They are just expressing the miracle of all miracles... having a child.

I was going on about how impatient I was during my pregnancies and someone said "If you're that impatient just waiting for the child to come, how patient will you be with the child once he is born?" And now that I have raised two, I can tell you that patience tops the list of winning ingredients for a happy life with children. If you don't have it yet - get it! And while you're practicing, maybe share some of it with your pregnant friends.

My heart goes out to you all.
Randa

ogr1 · Post by **ogr1** » Tue Mar 15, 2005 4:29 am

thank you for sharing..
i have family that live in buckly
and some other towns around there. i cant spell any of them and my address book is packed for our trip..
only a couple more hours before we go..

ruthie · Post by **ruthie** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:31 pm

some people have no idea , me and my dp were out having our sunday lunch and there was this young girl sat at the bar smoking a cigerette the bar maide asked her how her little girl was doing she answered fine next breath she said that she had just rolled out of bed cause she was hung over from the night before then she announced that she was going to have another baby all the while smoking this bleeding cigerette , i really felt like walking up to her and smacking her face (but i didnt ) needless to say it put me off my lunch !
best wishes to you all
Ruthie xx

Kaylee · Post by **Kaylee** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 5:14 pm

I honestly find one of the hardest things to deal with is a happy mum to be - it makes me sound terrible and it brings out the worst in me. My DH and I had the most awful Xmas day surrounded by his sister and family talking about nothing but the new baby, the nursery, names, clothes - the unborn baby even had Xmas presents from everyone in the family. DH and I felt utterly suffocated and like everyone was totally absorbed in enjoying the pleasure of a new arrival at the expenes of our pain.

We went home and hid for about a week! During our hiding we too understood that this was a really exciting experience for the family, and that the parents to be were beside themselves with excitement and anticipation. We 'understood' it all, and are truely delighted for them.

What leaves me aching, empty and hurting - is that the understanding sometimes feels very one way. But then - what does understanding from them look like? Not talking about their baby to be? Not even me, at my most wretched can think that is reasonable.

In summary - the whole 'understanding' thing - feels very much one way. We understand their excitement, and work hard to give them space to enjoy their pregnancy - it doesn't come the other way, and I'm not even sure it can.

Does that sound really bitter and twisted?? Just realised how long my response is - must have needed a vent!

K
x

CC · Post by CC » Wed Mar 16, 2005 9:24 pm

No I know exactly what you mean - I have such physical reactions to happy pregnant women - they literally make me physically sick and particularly while they're screaming at a toddler. I try so hard to understand how everyone else feels but I know what you mean about sometimes no-one seems to think there's anything to understand the other way around. It's not really about being patient - I think it's about having faith that either it's definitely going to happen one day or that if it doesn't that's okay and 'meant to be'. The problem is until you reach that point (and I'm never going to be all right with the second scenario) then you are gripped with a really deep fear and anger and unfortunately that gets directed in ways we may not feel proud of but certainly understandable. Sorry to go on - just how I feel, Cherylx

Tiger · Post by **Tiger** » Thu Mar 17, 2005 6:04 am

Kaylee,

No, you do not sound bitter and twisted. I understand exactly what you mean.

Take care and keep smiling. xxx.

Kaylee · Post by **Kaylee** » Thu Mar 17, 2005 11:54 am

Thanks Tiger / CC,

Makes you breath a huge sigh of relief when you realsie you aren't abnormally evil!!

K
x

michelle_in_scotland · Fri Mar 18, 2005 2:31 pm

I thought i was the only bitter, spitefull person where other peoples pregnancies are concerned.
I'm especially like that about my SIL. She's just not long turned 21, her boyfriend is younger and a bit of a waster, they both live with her parents (gave up their flat because they couldn't afford it). One month before she sent my DH a text message telling him she was pregnant (a couple of weeks before christmas), she told me she had a "pregnancy scare" but thankfully she wasn't, and she said she didn't want to get pregnant before us knowing what we are going through.
We got word not long before christmas that our treatment would be starting in the next few months and we were on a high, invited DH's family over for christmas dinner to celebrate our good news with us, it didn't turn out that way, it was all talk of her pregnancy, not once was our good news mentioned. The next day his parents came back over for lunch and after a few drinks his mother blurted out that his sis had been trying to get pregnant for about 3 months and they were doing it so they would have a good chance of getting a council house. So apparently she had been trying at the time she was telling me she didn't want to get pregnant. I was so mad and really have no idea how i managed to keep quiet. So what should have been a really good christmas for me and DH turned out to be horrible.
Some people really do have no clue.
Take care all,
Lotsa love

Michelle
xxx

LittleP · Post by **LittleP** » Fri Mar 18, 2005 2:45 pm

Michelle

You just can't believe how insensitive families can be can you

I really hate it when people say that they fell pregnant and they weren't even trying, and what a shock it is.

Then you find out it is total rubbish and they've been trying all along - and not for the right reasons .... a baby should not be a way to get a roof over your head - god you must have been so angry

How did you stop yourself from losing it

Well done

Remember when our bundles of joy arrive they will be such precious babies because they are so desperately wanted

Keep smiling, not long now

Little P

Some people have no idea!

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