new & wanted to say hello

Sarah · Post by **Sarah** » Tue Oct 22, 2002 5:07 pm

Hello, I am new here. I just found you all today. My husband and I have been trying naturally for 7 years - and no luck. I am 33 and he is 36. Went through all the tests, lap+dye etc last year. Finally found out that my lovely husband has an extremely low sperm count. IVF is our only chance.. But despite all the tests and all the many years of trying without success, I have been stalling over the IVF. I am not really sure why - but I think it might be because I am so scared. I am scared physically, but also emotionally too. Will we cope if it doesn't work? Will we be ok? All that kinda stuff. I didn't have a great experience at my local hospital either, when having all the tests. They had a non-existent bedside manner.. That has also put me off. God - I just feel so scared all the time and it makes me just want to run away from it all. Has anyone else found that? I am so glad to have found this board and to be able to read all your posts. It's such a relief. When we enquired about support groups, during our last visit to the local hospital, we were told "look in the phone book" .... nice. Sarah xx

beck · Post by **beck** » Tue Oct 22, 2002 5:27 pm

hello sarah its shocking aint it how many people on this site are in the same boat !!! so your not alone. we have all become friends on here and help eachother to cope with our fears and anixeties and there is always a cycle buddie to keep you company on the treatment. hope you do go ahead, as it aint that bad. keep intouch sarah beck xxxxx

woppa · Post by **woppa** » Tue Oct 22, 2002 5:34 pm

hi sarah and welcome to our cyber support group. Your troubles sound like mine. My hubbie has low count and low motility even though he has a daughter age 21. We have been ttc for 7 years too and have been going through ivf for 5 of them. My hospital were very unsympathetic and i'm afraid you need to get hardened to them. As I have posted before I fell like a statistic to them. Try and join a local support group. I wish I was near one. We also had councelling which was brilliant. Anyway post away on these boards and someone will reply to you. We are having a chat tonight at 8pm if you want to join us lots of love Woppa (Elaine) xxx

DEBORAH · Post by **DEBORAH** » Tue Oct 22, 2002 8:44 pm

Sarah Don't be scared you be anxious but also excited when you start your treatment. You have a load of new friends on this website that will help you and your hubby get through it all. Don't worry about the hospitals most of the women who work in the infertility units you could bet they never had our problems so they don't know how to treat US SPECIAL PEOPLE, we are just people that keep them in jobs When do you start? Love Debsx

tshepher · Post by **tshepher** » Wed Oct 23, 2002 7:50 am

Hi Sarah I don't think I can add anything better than has already been said, but welcome to the site and know that everyone else on here knows exactly what you and DH are going through. The way I tried to look at it was that if I diddn't go through with IVF and not try, then I'd never know and to live with that regret might possibly be harder to live with than anything IVF can throw at us. The physical side, whilst no picnic, pales into insignificance when you consider the outcome you're trying to achieve and as for the emotional side, well yes it is a complete roller-coaster but most of us have found that it brings you and DH closer together. I think those of us who are eventually successful through IVF will make the most amazing mums and dads because we have already been through so much. A big hug to you and DH and hope that you decide to proceed. Lots of Love to all Terri xxx [Edited by tshepher on 23-Oct-02 08:51]

Sarah · Post by **Sarah** » Wed Oct 23, 2002 9:12 am

Hello everybody - and a huge thank you for replying and welcoming me so warmly into your group. I have felt really very teary, reading all your supportive replies. At last - someone to talk to! Isn't it sad that there seemed common recognition concerning the poor treatment my husband and I had received at hospital. I naively went into this thinking that the staff in the Infertility Wing would have had some kind of special training in how to communicate appropriately - well it seems not. We are thinking about kicking the IVF treatment off in the new year. It seems like a good time to start, the beginning of a new year. I am so enthused to read all of your posts. It is really helping me to understand a process which seems so confusing! Its great to speak with you all Sarah xx

tshepher · Post by **tshepher** » Wed Oct 23, 2002 10:01 am

Sarah It's YOUR group too now, so GOOD LUCK

xxxxxxx

sammy · Post by **sammy** » Wed Oct 23, 2002 4:19 pm

hi sarah,my husband and i had tests for three years,turns out hubby has low sperm count as well as very lazt so we have to have icsi.we are due to start our 3rd go as of monday.i never dreamed that this was going to be the way for us to have a baby,i am usaully a very "in control person"and this is totally out of our control.but i know we will keep going till we get there.if anything it has made us both stronger and closer.all this is coming from someone whom at one time was to petrified of even going for a routine smear.know nothing holds me back,i to found some of the fertility staff a little abrupt,but there are some great nurses who really do care and look after us.basically im just tryiny to say be positive and be there for each other.before i used this site i had some really unanswered questions and feelings,not anymore.take care sammy xx

Sarah · Post by **Sarah** » Thu Oct 24, 2002 12:38 pm

Thanks for your reply, Sammy. Yes I'm sorry to have sounded a little bitter and ignorant. I know there are many, many good nurses out there, who get paid very little for what they do. It's just my experiences to date have not been particularly good. Sometimes I think this has brought my husband I closer, but other times not. He has found it hard to cope with the fact that it has taken me so much time to get my head around IVF. He couldn't understand why I didn't immediately want us to "sign up". I have tried to explain a lot of my emotional fears, but it's not always easy. Same with friends and family. It makes me laugh (laugh coz otherwise you'll cry) when you tell friends and family that you can't have kids conventionally, and they say "oh, well book yourself in for some IVF" .. rather like booking yourself in for a session of sun-beds. At least on this forum we are amongst friends who understand. Over the last few days I have loved reading all your posts. It has made me feel more positive about doing this, than anything else in the last 12 months.

Michelle · Post by **Michelle** » Thu Oct 24, 2002 2:37 pm

Hi Sarah Welcome to this WONDERFUL site. I really do know what you mean about how daunting the whole process is - but if this is the only way we are going to have a baby then it just has to be done! I'm a complete coward when it comes to injections, which I start 2 weeks today - but I'll have to get over it. My dh is dying to start stabbing me - he'd better be gentle...he keeps on saying how good he was at injecting his cat years ago - I don't think cats can scream as loud as me!!!! You've made the right decision. Love Michelle x

Sarah30 · Post by **Sarah30** » Thu Oct 24, 2002 6:27 pm

Hello Caroline I'm also new and have only found this forum today whilst searching for info about FET. I'm booked in to have my transfer this coming Monday and am feeling quite laid back about it at the moment. We've already had 1 failed attempt but this was due to Polycystic type ovaries and polyps in the womb probably brought on by the stimulation drugs. My last attempt was in May and since then have been having tests and an operation - seems a long time in coming but we're almost back on the road. Good luck with yours - drop me an e-mail if you want a chat. Sarah

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