How do you all cope, after m/c ?????

debbie · Post by **debbie** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 11:37 am

Hi everyone Sorry to be depressing again, but on Thursday it all came to an end for us. We did the rescan and there was no heartbeat, so decided to take the medication to bring on a miscarriage- it seemed so wrong to swallow that pill even though there was no hope, and there was no sign of it happening naturally, has anyone else gone for this option? with hindsight I should have had a D&C as the whole thing was excruiating and traumatic.we were left alone for 7 hours whilst it happened (didn't even get offered a paracetamol) and I really believe my heart broke in that room. D/H was wonderful, for someone who 6 months ago knew nothing about "womens bits" he excelled himself on Thurs, he really was there for me. I just wanted to know how you all manage to cope at times like this, I go back to work on Monday, but at the moment I can't stop crying/thinking about what might have been. I don't want to see anyone, don't answer the phone or the door, don't want to go out, etc. I desperately want a baby but am so scared of going through all this again and ending up even more depressed. I guess I should think about it in a few months when my mind is clearer. I wish everyone of you all the luck in the world, and wish I had found this site earlier in my treatment as the support offered on here is brilliant Anyway its bye for now, love to you all Debbie & Stuart xxxxxxxx

woppa · Post by **woppa** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 12:07 pm

Dear Debbie & Stuart, I am so sorry to read you post and we know exactly what you are going through. We had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago and were so gutted after finally becoming pregnant after 8 years of trying to conceive. No words at the moment will be of comfort to you and like me you would probably want to smack the first person who says to you" well at least you can get pregnant" OR "are you going to try again" I'm back in work on Monday too but I would strongly advise you not to if it has only just happened. Spend some time with stuart and grieve for the little one you have just lost. Make a memorial if it makes you feel better. We have our scan picture and a poem and my sister bought a tree. Just little ideas but will help you grieve. Don't hesitate to contact me if you want someone to talk to lots of love Elaine & Dougie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

DEBORAH · Post by **DEBORAH** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 12:25 pm

To Debbie&Stuart and Woppa&Dougie I have to say that I have never had to cope with a m/c but I am sad to read both your postings and believe me when I say that your heart goes out to all of you at this sad time. Fingers crossed that the New Year brings good news for ALL of us. Love Debx

Louise · Post by **Louise** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 12:28 pm

Dear Debbie Just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your sad news and hopefully soon, you will find the strength to get through it. Lots of love Louise

beck · Post by **beck** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 1:40 pm

hello debbie & stuart im so sorry to hear your sad news, it brought tears to my eyes. woppa what a lovely idea a tree in memory of your lost. debbie please come back to chat as there is some wonderful people on here that has had a m/c....and can i say woppa is a saint to us all. keep intouch beck x

sammy · Post by **sammy** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 2:11 pm

hi debbie,im so sorry for you both.I to had a miscarrige back in april,i kind of had the same experience you had.It does take time,it must have been for me one of the saddest feelings i have ever experienced.Time is what it takes,dont rush back to anything and if you want to avoid people then do so,because at this stage no-one can say the right thing as mich as they try.I took about a week off work and during that time wrote all my feelings down(its now turning into a story)its called Dreams,it helped me and it still does.I to didnt think that i could go through it again,but we desperatlely want our Dream and its the only way for us special people.Im due to go through e/c in a week,im scared too for it happening again but the chances are very slim.Its took me over 6 months to get back on this rollercoaster of emotions,but trust me the worst than can happen did and i believe get through that and you can get through anything.Dont think about the next time yet give yourself time to heal and you will know yourself when you are both ready again.im really feeling for you both keep in touch sammyxxxxxxxx

woppa · Post by **woppa** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 7:21 pm

Hey Beck-like the sound of that. Saint Woppa !!! No seriously if I can be any help to anyone then I will be love wops xxxxxxxx

woppa · Post by **woppa** » Tue Nov 19, 2002 6:42 pm

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