Still feeling low any advice

[christine202]

Just a little help if poss.

It had been over two weeks since I unfortualtely didn't make it to et. I first started treatment in january and have not yet made it to et. Firstly because I over responsed to the drugs and had to have a total freeze and secondly for fet the embryo survived the thaw but had perished on the day of et.
I feel cheated as never yet have made it the final hurdle. We have now decided to leave treatment until january next year.

I am off work at the moment as I have been feeling really depressed, but did think that as nearly two weeks have passed since my disappointment that I would be feeling much better.

Could it be a come down off all the drugs? Any one felt similar your reassurance would be appreciated. I have even considered going to talk to the Counsellors at our clinic.

luv christine xxx

[leigh]

Hi Christine

Who can put a time limit on when we will start to feel better? As with evrything else, we all react differently, there is no wrong or right.

I don't have great experience of it but I would say that the drugs must have some part to play in how you feel because they took over from your natural hormones and now your body has to revert back. The disappointment and anxiety you feel are normal I am sure. It is good that you are taking time off work to give yourself chance to recover. I would say that counselling is a very good idea, don't see it as a last resort see it as something positive to get you back to good mental health.

Although I know absolutely nothing about it I would advise you to look into relaxation methods; yoga, acupuncture, health spa, holiday, massage, anything you can find that helps. While you are off work find something to occupy your mind that does not stress you out or make you sad, a hobby or volunteer work.

I really don't know what would be best but I hope my suggestions help. I hope that just being able to write how you feel on these message boards will help and knowing that there are lots of people here ready to offer you support.

Take care of yourself and I hope you feel better and stronger soon, there is hope and it will be your turn one day.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[hlloyd]

Christine, sorry to hear that you are feeling so awful. This whole infertility thing is really hard to deal with and having to go through treatment twice with no ET must be devastating. Although I haven't found any research on the issue, I am sure that hormonal imbalances following treatment must be linked to depression in some way as I too have felt absolutely disgusting for some time. I am only starting to feel more 'normal' now, seven weeks after receiving a BFN. I also think that you become so focused during the treatment that when it is all over you feel a bit lost and it is really hard to remember what life used to be like pre treatment.

I think that it would be a good idea to make and appointment with the counsellor. He/she will be able to help you to work through your feelings and give you a positive course of action to aid in your recovery. The counsellor will also be able to reassure you that you are not alone in the way you feel and that your feelings are quite normal.

Hang in there, it will get better but it may take some time....hopefully you will wake up one day soon and feel like the world has righted itself. Good luck and learn to be a bit selfish for a while, take care of you.

Best wishes
Heather

[Sand]

Hi Christine ... Nice to see you on the boards, but sorry to hear you feel so rubbish. It's only 2 weeks since your dreams were shattered for this cycle ... that's no time at all Christine .... just think how long it took to reach that point - all the effort you've both put in, all the treats you've done without - then all just snatched away. It's bound to have hit you real hard. I was off work during my last 2ww, then when I got my -ve I just couldn't face going back ... too many people / phones / having to be civil with people, when all you want to do is cry / shout / be angry ... I can empathise with just how you're feeling - I think it's quite normal (if there's anything 'normal' about all this ..). You've absolutely nothing to lose going to the counsellors. I'm sure getting it all off your chest, and talking it through will help.

You're leaving tmt 'til Jan next year .. ? Do you know that the Unit's closed towards the end of this year / start of next ? There's some new legislation and they have to upgrade all the facilities / procedures etc. The only reason I know is because I saw it in their newsletter last time I was there. Pls check out with them, as this could really b*gger up your plans.

Take care Christine .... You will start to feel better, but it could take some time. Don't beat yourself up about feeling bad ... and remember, we're all here anytime you want to chat.

Sandra x

[LittleP]

Christine

As the others have said, there is no timescale for any of this. It is really important to give yourself the time to come to terms with it and hence make the right decisions about where you go and what you do.

Sending you loads and loads of hugs and PMA.

Take care of yourself and remember we're always here to help and support when you need it.

Love

Little P

[eskavon]

Christine
I'm so sorry you feel so bad. I can empathise with where you're coming from - its a few weeks since my bfn and i still am finding it very hard to deal with stuff - just the tiniest thing can be very hard to handle.
You'll probably be feeling as if you don't want to do anything but the best thing is to get up and get out - even if its just a walk to the shop.
I could just sit a mope all the time - but yesterday i went to see my brother and neice and had a really good day. Today I feel down again but I know it will end - and I promise you it will end for you
I'm glad your still cycling in jan - we'll be cycling buddies hopefully
Maybe thats something to really aim for.
take care dear and dont stress about work - in the bigger scheme of things it really doesn't matter
eskavon xxx

[christine202]

Thank you girls for your replies. You are all so sweet!!!

You have all given me some great advice and support, really appreciate it.

I am going to call my clinic in the morning to see if i can arrange an appointment with the counsellors.

Thanks again, it's great to have this site, don't know what i'd do without it.

luv to you all

christine xxx

[NickiMark]

So sorry to hear you're feeling sad. It's not nice..... I know. But remember we are all here for you, so type away and we'll send u 'cyber hugs'

[Bronagh]

so glad to hear you made an appointment with the counsellors it really really does help,its not admitting defeat they are there because this is not easy to go through. Good luck.
Bron

[NickiMark]

How r u feeling now dear? x x Hugs x x