feel a bit low

caz · Post by **caz** » Sun Dec 01, 2002 3:30 pm

dont know whats happening to me but the last couple of days I have turned into a basket case. went to see some friends yesterday pm who have just had 2 nd baby - and i thought i was fine - until half way home when I lost it and basically still pretty teary now. made worse because dh just gone away for 4 days. Think am ovulating at teh moment - do you think that make you a bit "nuts"? really want to be able to talk to people about it - but promised dh that we'd keep it to ourselves until we know the score after our first appointment on thursday. anyway I HAVE told my sister - whos been thru the same thing - and that helped a bit - but she could n't really talk properly as her 5 yr old was about. theres just so many questions and unknowns...so so good to have this site to chat on. we are off on holiday in 10 days - and i know when i get back my mum will start putting pressure on about babies (I told her we were putting it off until after hols), also friends will be wondering too - they ALL seem to be having babies suddenly (I know 8 pg people!) - really dont know how I'm going to cope with that. Its my 30th b day next weekend - hope I can pull myself together for that.

Wicked Lady · Post by **Wicked Lady** » Sun Dec 01, 2002 3:47 pm

I am not surprised that your feeling so down at the moment after all that you have been through recently. You know that we are all here on this website to support each other and we are all here for you. There have been times when I have avoided seeing people who had just had babies because I knew that I wouldn't be able to cope. I had just started to smile back at children instead of regarding them and their pregnant mothers as the enemy when we had bad hospital appointment and now I am back to square one. But I will hang on in there and I will not give up. Do you think if you discussed it with the people that you know it might help, even if it was just to get them off your back and stop them asking nosey questions? You don't have to tell them that you and dh are considering DI. Just that your hurting and you need space. Hope I've helped in some way. LOL Nicola xxx

heather · Post by **heather** » Sun Dec 01, 2002 4:03 pm

caz, just thought i'd drop you a line to tell you to hang in there and try to keep your chin up, hun. I can imagine that it's not easy for you, right at the mo, but just wanted to tell you that we are all here for you. I know it can be so difficult when all around you there are people who are popping out babies like they are shelling peas, but it will be your turn soon. Dont give up hope hun, cause when you haven't got hope, you haven't got anything. Take care of you, hun. Loadsa love, Heather xxx

caz · Post by **caz** » Sun Dec 01, 2002 6:55 pm

thanks so much for replying to my ramble that probably didn't make much sense WL - I guess you're right we have been thru alot - i think i've slightly lost track of that! Its amazing how quickly you take in a piece of devasting news and just let it become part of your normal life - In many ways we haven't even started the process yet - and as my sister cheerily said - it'll get alot worse!! GREAT! Heather - thanks so much for your reply -how you feelin'? I have just been out for some retail therapy - and I must be truely shallow because actually feel marginally more cheerful. I think just getting out into teh fresh air helped. I am SUCH a natural pessimist and must make a real effort to keep positive and not lose hope as you say Heather. Miracles do happen! By the way -I DID mention DI to my sister in our chat earlier andamzingly she was pretty cool about it, even said that she had considered it (her dh has anti sperm antibodies?? They have one daughter , naturally, have been told that she was justa very lucky one off). Still not sure if i'd ever tell her if we ended up going that route tho. How knows. am VERY mixed up!

Alison · Post by **Alison** » Sun Dec 01, 2002 7:00 pm

Hi Caz, glad to hear you're feeling cheerier. I've been feeling pretty crap today - I think perhaps Sundays are bad days, as during the week when I'm busy with work and stuff I can put all of this to the back of my mind. Anyway, take care of yourself, Much love Alison x

amanda · Post by **amanda** » Sun Dec 01, 2002 8:19 pm

Caz, your posting was a joy to read. I have felt the same on many occasions, its wonderful to know I am not alone in my thoughts. Like you everyone around me is pregnant, some by mistake. It seems so unfair, we have been trying for 3 years for a baby, my hormones are screaming for one and yet we have had no success. I test tomorrow (our 4th attempt), but have a sinking feeling in my heart. I am so scared the hospital will call tomorrow afternoon and tell me it is negative. The disappointment (again!) will be unbearable...... not sure how to cope. This website is fantastic, its great to know I am not alone in the world. Amanda

caz · Post by **caz** » Sun Dec 01, 2002 9:23 pm

good luck amanda. will be thinking of you and have fingers toes everything crossed. Try and post if you feel like it. caz

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