Very sad news

[CJB]

Big J, so so sorry. Life is really unfair. Look after yourselves.

Claire x

[Ellie]

Big J
I don't know what to say other than I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and DH.

[dancola]

Am so, so, sorry to hear this news.

Take care,

Nicola

[christine202]

I am so sorry to read your sad news.

Take care of each other and try and stay strong.


lots of love christine xxx

[JudeM]

BigJ & DH

I am so. so sorry about your news.

Please take care of yourselves, my thoughts are with you.

Love

Jude

[Vickyp]

Dear Bigj & DH

Absolutely speechless - so so sorry for your loss. I am glad you are decided to go ahead again already. You know it can happen now - I know that doesn't help at the moment. There is nothing really I can add to other messages. Just very sorry for your dreadful experience. Lots of Love Vicky

[LittleP]

Jules

I am so sorry - I feel terrible not being around here for you when you need hugs and words the most.

I know nothing I can say is going to make you feel any better at the moment, but please know that you are in my thoughts.

Take care of yourself and you know where I am if you need to shout and scream.

Again, I am so very sorry.

Big hugs and loads of love

Little P

[taylorjools]

I just wanted to thank you all so very much for your kind words and I can feel your love and caring coming through the air waves, it means the world to both of us.

I am looking forward to our counselling session tomorrow, dh hasn't cried atall and I know he needs to. I just keep bursting into tears all over the place. Have kept myself busy this afternoon finding out where I can get tests done. Have decided to go for it on the test front as a few quid now could save heartache later, although they say that we have a very good chance of success and no obvious reasons for m/c. We are goinmg to get dh a mega sperm analysis as we only had the 3 out of 12 eggs fertilise. i've got him on the super sperm diet right now already, he doesn't know what's hit him, but he is being a lamb and has even stopped coffee. I am trying to find a centre in germany that does tests for immune issues like NK cells, not having much luck at the moment. Our centre in Luebeck werevery good and we had a telephone appt already this afternoon (I mean that is fantastic as I only called them this morning!) but they said they don't really believe in NK cells Even IM seem to think "it's all baloney", they think that am m/c like mine must be due to genetic issues in the embryo. I am not actually that impressed with that considering that some of you, like LittleP are being treated for that problem. I am not saying I think that's my problem, I am sure they are right it is just a natural selection process and bad luck, but it's not like we can just go off and bonk and make another baby, it is a nightmare as you all know of time and emotion, and on top of that serious financial issues (Our last go cost us £8k including travel etc), if there is anything we can do to rule out even a tiny chance of another m/c then I want to do it. Do you think I am mad??? It would be ironic if I have to fly to the Uk or Spain to get basic tests done!!

I had a check at the gynae today, I couldn't look at the screen, but she said I am having a fantastic recovery, and everything looks fantastic for another go in September. So back on the Cycloprogenova by next Friday - wont have AF as there is nothing left to come out. I thought at the time this was worse than a negative, but it's not. I do now have the reassurance that we can get pregnant, we just now have to work out how to stay that way.

Love and kisses to all of you going through this nightmare, I am sure it will all be worth it in the end

Love and kisses and thank you so much for being there, sad that this news was my 900th post

bigJ (Jules)

[dancola]

It’s a shame your clinic ‘don’t believe’ in uNKC and immunology issues. Not sure if you’ve been following the English newspapers, but this week in Copenhagen there was a big meeting of fertility specialists and lots of info has been appearing on the main pages of the papers like the Daily Mail, Evening Standard. They made a big fuss about uNKC and how they are treated with steroids and the general consensus really does seem to suggest that the simple use of steroids can help women. My clinic is a firm believer which is why they tested me after I m/c early in December and have a -ve in April. I came up +ve for higher levels so will be treated with steroids next time. The tests cost about £ 300 (including the ‘blood flow’ tests for anticardiolipins and coagulants) – money well worth spending given a cycle is costing us around £5K.

As you say, you could have just been terribly unlucky, but for the sake of your peace of mind it seems worth having these tests if you can.

[Emily Rose]

Jules,

I was just checking in quickly after days away and saw your post. I'm surprised and sorry to read your news, but yes, you do have the knowledge that it can work for you, and that's worth a lot. That's good that you are already getting back on track with planning; that will help you overcome what you've been through, I think. But your setback, if nothing better, does let those of us who've had them know we are not alone.

Emily

[cmg]

Big J

I'm a bit late picking this up but I'm devastated to hear your news, especially as you were one of the 40something good news stories and everything seemed to be going so well. It really shows what a lottery the whole thing is and how, even if you do all the right things, like I know you have, there are just no guarantees. There's nothing I can add to what others have said, but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you.

Strangely enough I had a conversation about NKC at my clinic today and they don't seem to go along with the idea either, though they do give people steriods. I think we're operating at such a cutting edge of research here that there are bound to be differences of opinion, as there are with all science. I suspect that the more you look into it, the more variations on the idea you'll find, which makes it very hard to know what to do for the best.

Anyway, I hope your counselling session brings you some relief and helps your DH to come to terms with his feelings. People grieve in very different ways and very different timescales. Take very good care of each other and know that there is a whole community out here thinking of you.

Caroline

[pauline69]

BigJ, haven't been on this website for a while and was shocked to read your sad news. Sending you best wishes.

Take care, Pauline

[ogr1]

big j i just saw your post.. my tears are comming.. my key board is all wet.

as i was reading i just kept saying nonono.

my twins hearts had stopped at 8 wks. we had a d&c done. then they sent them off for testing. after my d&c i bled alot..

i wish i was there now to hold you and just to let you cry..


please know that am here for you .. yuo can e-mail me at home at
ogr@blackfoot.net
i have to check that everyday cause of work.. i havent been able to come on here everyday..

i wish i could write what i am feeling for you and dh...
and your little angle.

it has helped me to name my twins...
i dont know if it will help you to. we also planted a tree for each of our twins. at 8 wks they where able to tell me that we had a son and a daughter..

and again please know that i am here..

[Mil]

bigJ:
I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. I will keep you and DH in my thoughts and prayers. Take care!

[Sand]

Jules .. I've been away for a couple of days, so am so sorry, but have only just seen your post. I am devastated for you both, and you have knocked me for a six.

You sound so rational and calm - sorting tests, thinking about Sep .. etc - but I'm sure this is just your way of coping. You must be screaming inside. I hope your apptmt tomorrow helps, and that dh finds it helps him start to let his feelings out. He'll have to at some point, or he'll go mad ..

Sending lots of love over to you both tonight .. xxx

Sandra x