First consultation tomorrow

caz · Post by **caz** » Wed Dec 04, 2002 7:31 pm

Quite nervy. It sort of makes it all real. Am very scared that they'll tell us theres no hope - have sort of been banking on ICSI/ TESA as a slim possibilty until now - not sure if I want the illusion shattered. Am out tomorrow night (with work - which will be absolutely LOVELY if the news is bad!) - but will log on on friday to let you know how it went. Cheers all

suzannemorris · Post by **suzannemorris** » Wed Dec 04, 2002 8:13 pm

Good Luck Caz, I'm sure there's nothing for you to worry about, they can do amazing things now so I'm sure there is hope,stay positive if you can. And enjoy that night out. Take care, Suzanne.x

heather · Post by **heather** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 6:39 pm

Caz, Hope all went well for you today, and they told you what you wanted to hear.Do let us know how you got on, wont you? Love, Heather xxx

alison p · Post by **alison p** » Fri Dec 06, 2002 10:12 am

Caz, Hope it all went well at the clinic. Don't be afraid to take time to think about it all after the appointment and go back to them with questions if you have any - after all that's what you're paying them for! It's a great website, so please log on if you're feeling unsure about anything. I've found it a great help sharing the ups and downs with everyone! Good luck! Alison P

caz · Post by **caz** » Sat Dec 07, 2002 9:18 am

hi all - sorry for delay. was out thursday (getting absolutely p*issed on work do - very clever -not) and rushing about yesterday. Consultation was "interesting". Theres good news and bad news. Good news is that I seem ok. She did a few inspections - including and "dry run" with the catheter they use for e/c - all ok. Interestingly my PCOS seems to have eased - as an aside, I am SURE this is because I am no longer too thin and am eating well and excercising alot, convinced its helped - ANYWAY, when they did the ultra sound they said that the ovary I have just ovulated from is bleeding - apparently quite normal? But they'll want to check it again. I must say I did havE quite a painful ovulation this month. OKAY, now the less good news, the woman consultant who saw us first, heard dh story and saw the results of his biopsy (where there are a very few mature sperm) and said ok - we'll try TESA and ICSI. He'll have to go in for a TESA soon - have any they find frozen then we'll do IVF/ ICSI in March and he'll have TESA done again at the time of ec. Getting this so far!!?? So, so far all as we expected. She then called in the big cheese professor - who took one look at dh biopsy result and said - "have you thought about DI. The chnaces of finding ANY sperm in TESA is incredibly slim". So I think he was being a realist and the female consultant was just giving us hope. I guess as I expected - but these guys have seen it all before and for them to start saying straight away - use DI - was a bit upsetting to say the least. Anyway - we are of course going to give it IVF a shot - altho I think its a waste of time - even the Prof said you should try it just for your peace of mind. So really now we have got to start thinking clearly about DI - which I find incredibly hard to do. And dh seems a bit reluctant to talk about it much. I always come back to the same things - what do tell the child/ parents (esp dh parents who might really very guilty) / general people - how will they perceive us/ the child. I have read quite alot of stuff - but its of course all written from teh point of view of people who have been open - one never hears - of course- from people who have decided to keep it to themselves - so impossible to know how well that works. Would we find keeping such a big secret only to ourselves a nightmare? HELP HELP - AGAIN!!!! Sorry for ramble.

mands · Post by **mands** » Sat Dec 07, 2002 10:53 am

Hi Caz I'm so sorry that your results weren't as good as you'd hoped. I think you need some counselling(sp?) to put some structure around your feelings. It can really help you and your dh to understand how you feel about all these issues. Exploring this properly will help to avoid problems between you in the future. All kids want is love and plenty of your time. By the time they're old enough to understand they'll have built an incredible bond with your dh anyway. But your dh has to really think about how he feels, biology is not the only basis for love! I really hope you can can come to a decision that you're both content with. Look after yourselves Love Mandyx