Time of work

[B]

Hi everyone,
I don't often post on here, I read all of your mesaages but i find it better to keep things to myself.
Anyway, I am doing an FET and am due to have my ET in about 2 weeks time, last time when doing ICSI I took the 2 weeks of unpaid and was planning to this time. Firstly I can't afford to do that and secondly I want to keep my holidays incase this deosn't work so that I can get away. I told work quite some time ago that I would be doing this and would take unpaid again. But now things have changed, my husband says go sick but I am worried that it will be obvious I have gone sick instead of taking unpaid leave. Oh dear I really am getting worried about this, does anyone have any ideas.
Thankyou and best of luck to all of you
B

[dancola]

I think to be honest I wouldn’t take the two weeks off sick. Firstly, it is rather dishonest (sorry but I’m a bit old-fashioned) and also you had already mentioned you’d be taking the time off unpaid so, unless they are stupid, they will put 2 and 2 together. Also, I believe that over a certain period of time (5 days?) you are required to produce a sick note so you will need to get one from the doctor. Obviously if you’re lucky then I guess you’ll be leaving work anyway, but if you needed to carry on working is it worth the risk of dismissal?

I haven’t taken time off after ET on my last two cycles (first was a +ve but early m/c) but plan to take 3 days off after ET this time – as holiday. I just couldn’t take the time off sick – at the end of the day, no matter how unfair it seems to us, it is our choice to do IVF and I don’t think I could treat it as a genuine ‘sickness’.

[cmg]

B,

I agree with Dancola, that it would be very risky to take 2 weeks off sick as they are almost certain to notice. I'm on my 2ww wait at the moment and am lucky that I'm freelance so can choose to take on work or not at the moment. If I get offered some work in the next couple of weeks that doesn't involve too long a day or driving for hours, then probably I'll take it.

If I was in a regular job I don't think I'd take all 2 weeks off. The first 3 days seem to be important and if you're really lucky some of that might fall at the weekend. If not, you might manage 3 days holiday. After that it probably depends on what kind of work you do. Does it involve lifting anything? Are you on your feet all day? Could you talk to your manager about the sort of work you can do during this time, making sure you get a proper lunchbreak, maybe going home early sometimes and making the time up later? If you have an understanding boss, you might be able to come to an arrangement that makes you feel that you're taking proper care of yourself but also meets the needs of the job. You might find that working helps take your mind off the waiting anyway.

good luck with the treatment and do feel free to "unlurk" again to let us know how it's going.

Caroline

[DeniseM]

That sounds like a good idea to me. Take the first 3 days as sick, or as a leave, and work the others, but maybe ask for a lighter load.

I worked during my wait, but I only had IUI. Its probably a totally different recover physically from IVF.

[michelle_in_scotland]

Hiya,
I'm currently over half way through my 2ww on a natural FET cycle and i went straight back to work the day after my e/t. I work in a frozen food and grocery store and aswell as till work it involves a lot of heavy lifting, i was upfront with my boss the whole way and she's been great, she let me do mostly till work but if needed i was to only do light duties. I'm quite lucky in the fact that i work my 20 hour contract over 3 days, friday, saturday and sundays but i think if i'd have taken time off it would have driven me mad, it's bad enough just now on my days off, i've even started doing some decorating today to try take my mind off things.
The choice is entirely up to you what you do with your 2ww but i'm glad i went back to work and the Dr at my clinic doesn't feel the need for us to take off the 2 weeks, she said to just carry on as normal, just do things you would normally do but not to over do it and definately no heavy lifting, so that's what i've been doing.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
Take care,
Lotsa love

Michelle
xxx

[Sand]

I'm quite the opposite B ... During my first 2ww, it was off sick for the first 5 days, then went back. During my subsequent cycles I've take the whole 2ww off sick. My GP has always been happy to write me a sick note.

It's the only time I've been off sick in many years, so I feel I deserve a bit of 'me' time. I would have been physically unable to work for the first 5 days each time anyway, as I literally couldn't straighten up and had bad cramps.

I think you're entitled to the time off sick. I'd still be upfront with your employers - tell them you're having tmt etc, then that you plan on sending in a sick note. I don't think you shouldn't have to use your A/l to cover days when you're genuinely not up to working. (You need a sympathetic GP of course ..).

Sandra x

[jacquih]

B
Even though I agree with the girls I took a weeks holiday after my et and a week on the sick. I have a very high stress job and a gay boss that hates kids and did nothing to accomodate requests for time off for hospital appointments. As i work shifts as a mangaer he would schedule me a close [2am finish] before a 8am hospital appointment which is 1hour 30min drive from where I live. So on the advice of my HR department I took sick leave backed up with a letter from the hospital as they thought this unreasonable.

If I had a reasonable boss then I would have gone back to work and done light duties.

Hope this helps you make some decissions

[lumi]

If you want to take all or some of the time off, then (by hoo k or by crook!) do it!! I guess it depends on what you actaully do. Can you phone your GP? If you explain that it is making you anxious, he may write you off for the time.

Lumi xxx

[Lucylu]

Hi girls,

I'm also waiting for my first FET in a couple of weeks and I'm sorry but I'll be taking 2 weeks sick leave during the 2ww.
I have a very stressful job, can't leave work at work, and if I don't give myself the best possible chance then I'll end up blaming myself for overdoing it if it doesn't work.
I feel quite strongly about this because I do think IVF warrants sick leave.
We have to take some pretty heavy medication and are constantly under the watchful eye of the hospital.
We don't 'choose' to have IVF like having cosmetic surgery or something -we have it because we want children! We are being treated for the condition of infertility and in my book that's as 'medical' as anything else.
I for one couldn't have worked after my first fresh cycle, I could hardly straighten up for a week!
If you can take sick leave and you have a good GP who'll sign you off then go for it!
L x

[Sand]

Hi Lucylu - welcome to the Site. I absolutely empathise and agree with eveything you've said ..

Sandra x

[missmolly]

I also believe that if you want to take sick leave then go for it! IVF can be physically demanding, but lets never underestimate the effect it has on our emotional & mental health (which is just as important as physical health).

I took the 2 weeks off after my first transfer, but took only a few days after my second & have not decided what to do for the third. Do what you believe is best for you - work will just have to deal with it!

Missmolly