The Over 40 Crowd

[meandmine]

Nuala,

Welcome to our site - well done for getting to the 2ww - that in itself is quite an accomplishment - we are all with you during the 2ww - there are plenty of us ladies here to help you with any questions you may have during this time. Lots of PMA and good wishes and look forward to chatting to you.

Sharon x

[cmg]

Hi Nula and various others who seem to have joined or reappeared in the last few weeks. Can't believe how my of us old girls there are now. Lisa, we haven't "met" but many congratulations on your BFP. Another glimmer of hope for the over 40s.

It's nearly 4 weeks now since I got my BFN and I've found it easier not to be here really. Also I've got very busy with work, which has made a difference too. It's helping to keep me distracted. After a phase of being really upset and then really numb, I feel quite ok at the moment and find that I'm not thinking about babies much at all.

DH and I have not yet agreed what we're going to do with the frosties (we have 2). We said this would be our last go and he wants to draw a line under the whole thing and move on, which I can understand. But I don't know if I can cope with knowing that they are there - I really want to give it that one last go. I'm pretty certain I could have an unmedicated cycle so physically it would be almost no hassle. But the 2ww would be even worse than this time, I think. DH doesn't know if it's worth putting ourselves through it again when the success rate is half what it was on the fresh cycle (so about 95% likely to fail then).

We've agreed to park it for now but have an appt at the clinic at the beg of Sept so I guess we'll decide then. I think he'll probably come round once the horrors of the last 2ww have faded. I hope so anyway.

Anyhow, that's why I haven't been around much and will probably just dip in and out for a while. But good luck to all of you who are cycling.

catch up again soon

Caroline

[meandmine]

Caroline,

I hope you read my message. When I read your post it was as though I was reading my own from back in May when our last IVF attempt failed. I, in particular, has no desire to even consider using our last 2 frosties (yes, we have the same number as you too). DH, as much as he was very disappointed, did not share the same resignment that I felt. He put no pressure on me at all, and, after the period of upset and all the whys? and what went wrong this time? we left everything settle for three months, got on with work, had a nice holiday in Northern Spain in the mountains and got ready for our final consultation to close our file. Anyway, I won't go over old ground again, but we came out of the consultation with a different perspective. We have 2 frozen embryos, achieved through IVF and we have decided to use them. Also, I received some encouraging news when I went to the hospital to collect my syneral the other day to be told that after they had been put to one side for freezing, they divided again, both of them and so we now have 2 4 cell embryos. It's our last try at assisted conception but the decision wasn't made overnight - we took time out - I think you have to and then you will make the decision that's right for you. So, all the very best to both of you and I wish you well in whatever decision you reach.

Sharon x

[DebraP]

Hi, I have to make notes of what to remember to say, now we're back up in numbers again

Nuala, welcome and good luck with your 2ww. No doubt you know that it's normal to have extremely strong up/down swings whilst waiting. It's tough so keep posting!

Lisa, how are you feeling now? still sky-high or back down to earth??

Debbie, bored of your 2ww already? hopefully you can find something gentle and occupying to help pass the time. I've never been able to sit still so good luck! Is it the right time of the year to take cuttings? can't you plant them in tiny pots or something? all highly conducive for your condition

Katie - the 3rd of our 2wwers, how's it going? what are you doing to pass the time?

Caroline. It's a tough call and I wish you luck making it. I've just been through the wobbles over fresh or frozen as I was close to calling it a day. I just wanted it to be over and allow some time to be us again. September is far enough away to have a break, I hope you and DH agree on the way forward.

Randa. How are you? You still had a ?? mark by September last time I looked at your signature, have you decided for sure? implant or harvest?

Lynna - ciao bella! Just in case you're looking in from Puglia!!

BigJ - looking forward to seeing you back on here when you're ready.

Sharon, great news about the frosties being 4 cells, that must be a real boost? You asked what I was doing...

AF started today so FSH blood test on Wed. It was 14 in January so am not assuming anything this time. However, if OK, should start downregging c. 28th (just a few days after you, Sharon). I'll be on a long protocol so looking at late Sept for EC/ET. I've had a hugely emotional few days, terrible crying fits last night and this morning (although I feel much much better now). I never get like this usually around AF so am a bit surprised but wonder if it's subconsciously because it's also restarting tmt?

Hoping the 2wwers are doing well, ladies: you're our torch bearers!

hugs
Debra

[erjumper]

Hi all! I'm with Debra on that taking notes issue. Being new and all i'm still trying to keep everyone straight and my head is spinning. I spent yesterday and last night sick as a dog so my RE brought me in this am and I had bloodwork showing I was dehydrated and was ecstatically diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum. That's right. A diagnosis reserved only for pregnancy! My HCG was 43 which the RE says looks suspicious for there being more than 1. hehehehe Of course we are far far from safe yet. We've been here before but my level was never this good and I was never this sick. I'm soooo happy to be sick though. It reassures me. Debra I know exactly what you mean about the anxiety of starting another cycle. I had anxiety attcks at the start of this cycle just anticipating the roller coaster of emotions and the high stress level. It's so exhausting and no one around you understands. Thank god for all of you here that do. I look forward to reading about each of your up and coming success stories as well as sharing my own. I start my new job tomorrow so I won't have as much chat time but it should be a great distraction.

Hugs!
Lisa

[randa2006]

So happy to see us represented so well among the 2wwers!!!

Best wishes for BFPs to:
Lisa, Debbie and Nuala!!!

Please forgive me if I've missed someone and more importantly, please correct me!

As for me, we are doing another round in Sept (start down regging this month). I wrote the clinic today for a protocol, which we kindof already went over with them by phone a few weeks ago.

Af will kick it off and should be here on the 15th. (I need to update my profile) BTW.... THANKS! to everyone for updating their signature lines to reflect their status!!! VERY helpful!

We are still not in agreement over whether to transfer or keep banking embryos. No news there. But I will share with you, now that I've calmed down and the BIG fight is over, we deliberately did not have sex when I was ovulating the last two months!!! His choice! He is so sure that getting pregnant now would stop us from collecting the other eggs we will want for siblings - UGH! I really have had to let go. My last words on the subject to him were "you will take full responsibility if we fail to have children - not me!" My 44th birthday is Sept 9!!!!! He knows the risks. I will just continue to be thankful that I have my two daughters from a previous marriage. This is his call to make as he has no children.

Thanks for letting me vent... again. The short version is.... he will most likely insist on freezing all again. He isn't going to be comfortable transferring until he feels we have enough embryos put back to ensure we have a good shot at more than one child. I'm so ashamed at how calculated this all sounds. I can't believe I'm talking about living beings (embryos) as though they are a commodity.

So sorry to be so negative. Outside of this, we really are doing well as a newly wed couple. I envy those couples who didn't have to deal with this right away.

Hope everyone has a good week!

[debbieed]

Hello All,
Well and truly bored now and not even a week into the 2ww !!!!!
At least tomorrow I have a presentation to write for an interview I have on Thursday.
I'm really trying to take it easy - not lifting anything and not rushing around like I do normally. I'm also going to call the doctor tomorrow to sign me off work for a couple of weeks. I do feel like a bit of a fraud but I'll never keep calm or take it easy if I go to work. I have a very stressful job that often means I work long hours. Also, if I go back to work on Monday it means I'll have to go to London on the Wednesday which is when af is likely to show up if it's going to and I'm sure I'll be hopeless if it does, so all in all it's easier to be off sick. I'm sure my boss won't be too happy but that's his problem.
Take care all.
Love
Debbie

[randa2006]

Debbie,
Your boss will get over it. Your life is more important. I used to feel so guilty any time I was home sick. I worried and worried about what the boss or co-workers were thinking. I was so sure they spent the whole day/days thinking about ME and being agravated that I wasn't there to do my part. HA! But then I realized that when someone else is out, even a subordinate of my own, I never gave it a second thought. That's when I realized they weren't giving it a second thought either. (And any who are, are just wierd)
So, you are doing the right thing. We've only got one life - jobs are a dime a dozen!
God Bless!

[Sand]

Nuala ... Somehow I have missed your posts re your EC/ET and test dates .. ! Welcome !! Pls let us know when your test date is .... that way we can add your name to the Aug Test Date thead, and all cheer you on !!

Good luck !! PLS POST YOUR DATE !

Sandra x

[meandmine]

Good evening ladies,

Debbie, you must do what's best for you during your 2ww. Make the most of being home and away from work now - do what you want (within reason - no handstands or cartwheels!!). As Randa said, at the moment what you are doing is more important than any job. Take care and wishing you lots and lots of PMA.

Randa, nice to hear from you. Sounds like this last decision on way forward has been pretty tough on you - please take care and hopefully now things are looking a little clearer for you both. So, looks like you, Debra and I will be cycling around about the same time 'ish give or take a few days.

Debra - hope it's not too late this evening to wish you good luck with your FSH bloods tomorrow. Fingers crossed - I'm sure all will be well. Will you get the results in the next day or so? Keep us posted.

Night ladies x

[DebraP]

ugh....just heard my 3rd 'we're pg' of the night. Yes, 3 so far this evening. My voice may have sounded light in response to them but I'm feeling sooooo low now. I can't bear being surrounded by pg women right now, one or two yes, but not everyone. Worse still, I've a group of people coming round tomorrow and 2 of them will now take over and make it 'the baby show'...........ARGH. I'm such a b*tch, a bitter and twisted one at that. So what's new.....Moving on....

Debbie, you've got it right. One way or another, this is it, you want to give it your absolute best shot and if you want to rest, then rest you shall!

Randa, you'll be downregging a week behind me, we can cheer each other on through the crappy bits. Sorry there's still no agreement with DH on what to do, although it sounds pretty well sorted. You sound like the feisty type, will you be happy to go with what he wants, no matter what? is this a battle you're prepared to lose to win the war? I have to say I was taken aback at avoiding natural conception, he'd really rather hold out for this 3-baby dream vs. making your own? Forgive my intrusion but 3 in 2 years is squeezing things tight unless you fall with triplets of course

Lisa, glad to hear your numbers are good. I bet you can't wait for that scan now!

Hugs to everyone, double hugs to Debra 'cos I deseve them too.
D.

[debbieed]

Hello All,
DebraP - I hope you're feeling a bit better today. You sounded so low in your last post. I know what you mean about hearing of other peoples pregnancies. I too find it REALLY difficult. I do want to be pleased for people but I also want to shout 'it's not fair'. Fortunately none of my close friends are likely to be pg - for a variety of reasons, but that still doens't help when I hear about people at work etc. I guess there is nothing we can do to protect ourselves from that difficult news, but perhaps other people could be a bit more understanding. It might be worth having a frank discussion with some of them about how it makes you feel. That might make them think - for a short while anyway. However you decide to go forward I'm sure you'll be fine. You have given so many people support on this board so I hope that this reply has been a bit helpful.

I hope everyone else is doing ok.

I'm feeling very restless today - not very optimistic and generally unsettled. Wish I'd get some symptoms of anything!! I don't normally have any pmt or symptms of af so no help there. Just have to be patient (!!!!) and wait.

Hope everyone else is feeling ok.

Take care all.

Love
Debbie

[Nuala]

Hi Everyone,


Thank you all for your messages of support and encouragement. I had my EC on August 1st. They collected four eggs from 4 follies and all 4 fertilised!! Had ET on August 3rd - one little guy hadn't made it through the night, one was a bit weak and the other two were class A, perfect (can't remember how many cells) embies so had all three put back!!

Took it really easy for 3 days and now back working but as I work for myself from home its not bad this week. Next week ( testing August 17th) I'm working down in London so will not be with my DH when I test unless I come home for the night and drive down in the morning which as the days roll by with the slow trickle torture of the 2ww think that is what I'll do.

It is so good to see so many other over 40's going through this journey. It was a struggle in London to find clinics willing to see you let along treat you with your own eggs when you're over 40!! I am at The Lister who have been fabulous and I know the odds are stacked against us but we all hope for our own little miracles.

Wishing everyone else on their 2ww

Nuala

[DebraP]

Not so miserable now I snapped out of it luckily and stopped wallowing. Only one pg person arrived today, albeit with her scan photos but she's had 3 m/cs in the past 18m so I shouldn't think of griping.

Debbie, you know it's normal to wobble emotionally. Accept it as part of the deal, focus on the pg hormones wrecking havoc on your system and continue to enjoy the rest. Slow walking isn't go to do you any harm.

Nuala. Well done with 3 out of 4. I had 3 (like yours, 1 weaker than the other 2) put back last time and one took so fingers crossed! Bit confused. You mention driving down to London for work, but your name + location say London, where are you? and what do you do - if that's not too nosey?

I went for my FSH + hormone tests today. A long wait until next Tuesday for the results, but as nothing will happen anyway until late Aug, nothing lost.

hope everyone is having a good Wednesday.
hugs
Debra.

[dancola]

Hi Nuala - I'd been wondering where you'd got to so found you on here. Just wanted to wish you luck with your 2WW. I had EC yesterday and am incredibly sore (but have to go back to work tomorrow). I had a good crop of eggs and am so frustrated that I'm not 40 until October as I would love to have 3 put back - must be the only time I am actually wishing to reach 40!

Anyway, will have my fingers crossed for you for the 17th and all the other testers.

Nicola