Clutching at straws

AMANDA D NEWELL · Post by **AMANDA D NEWELL** » Thu Dec 26, 2002 10:50 pm

Nina 1. I dont think I have been lucky this time, started bleeding today..... hoping that you are one of the lucky ones... sending you ++++++ cyber vibes! for your test tommorow. Take care, Love Amanda [Edited by AMANDA D NEWELL on 26-Dec-02 23:03]

Nina1 · Post by **Nina1** » Thu Dec 26, 2002 11:13 pm

Dear Amanda, Just read your message - you MUST still do the test tomorrow, however awful the prospect of it might be. You need to know for definite one way or the other, and really the test is the only way of being sure. If it's a negative, at least you'll have closure and will eventually be able to move on to your next attempt. And you just never know - so many people on the site have had postives with bleeding and af pains. I know EXACTLY how you're feeling and it's awful - I'm feeling it myself too. I've been away at my parents for Xmas day and boxing day, just got home and have logged on. I ended up doing my test on day 12 -Xmas morning - it was negative - have had af pains but no bleeding yet - it's just a matter of time now. (I've just tested again now too - day 13 - still a big fat negative - so have shared a bottle of wine with my partner - feeling tipsy.) On top of which my younger sister told me she 's just discovered she's pregnant with their second child (told me on Xmas morning too - she didn't know we'd done our test that day, though). They were stating with my parents too, and - I know this sounds awful - I couldn't be in the same room with her on my own or speak to her one to one - and we're such good friends usually. Everything was just too raw, and I felt such a psychological mess I just couldn't operate normally. The rest of my family don't know about our result yet - I'm going to wait another couple of days until we've got used to it ourselves. I guess I ought to stop writing now. But please don't feel you're on your own. Keep posting. I truly feel like I've been right to the edge these last couple of days, but already starting to see a glimmer of light again. Will you post tomorrow? I'll be looking out for your message. love, Nina