my sisters pregnant

hayley · Post by **hayley** » Tue Dec 24, 2002 1:52 pm

hi everyone last night my younger sister who is married a year past in november has told me that she is pregnant- i am so happy for her but i cant stop crying (even had to leave the room after she told me!) i have been dreading this moment since they got married (makes me sound like a b**ch - im not really!!!)but this news as hit me double hard. this will be the first grandchild my parents have- im the eldest and have been married six years- why cant it be me!!! why do i feel so crap! dh has been great but he is so upset as well.how many xmas do we have to put up with all our friends playing santa on xmas eve while we sit in front of our tree praying, dreaming that this will be our year- can hardly type this - just want to fly away somewhere and come back after xmas- the family dinner tommorrow (which im cooking)- being excited for my sister while its breaking my heart. so sorry for going on and posting a depressing note on xmas eve but in some ways it helps to get it off my chest. thank you and merry xmas to all. hayley

suzannemorris · Post by **suzannemorris** » Tue Dec 24, 2002 2:54 pm

Oh Hayley, I'm really sorry, don't be too hard on yourself though as your feelings are completely natural. Does your family know that you're having trouble conceiving, as I'm sure if they do, that they'll try to be as sensitive to your feelings as possible. Take care, and try to remain positive. Just think that soon you'll have a lovely little neice or nephew to fuss over, and hopefully by that time you'll be expecting too! Best wishes, Suzanne.x

Nina1 · Post by **Nina1** » Tue Dec 24, 2002 7:06 pm

Dear Hayley, How odd for you to have posted this message - the same thing's hapening to me and it feels really terrible. I'm the eldest and my younger sister thinks she might be pregnant, although it's not confirmed yet (she already has one child, now just over a year old - first grandchild for our parents). And me and my partner started trying well before she did. On top of that, I'm due to test this Friday 27th, so am on day 11 of 2ww, and getting nasty af pains. I know you can't tell until you test, but I feel no different than on my first attempt earlier this year - and that was unsuccessful. Last Friday I lost it and felt like it was the end of the world - just thought, what if this NEVER works, what then? How long can you keep hoping? And I feel like that again today - and it's supposed to be a merry time and I'm just not. I AM happy for my sister. But I also so, so desperately want it to happen for us - and it's a totally helpless feeling because there's nothing we can do about it. My family know about our treatment, but I can't tell anyone how upset the news about my sister makes me feel as I'd end up looking mean and nasty and selfish. Sorry everyone for being so miserable. I do feel terrible at the moment, but I know it'll pass. Have a good Xmas! love, Nina

Lisa C · Post by **Lisa C** » Wed Dec 25, 2002 11:23 pm

Hi Hayley, hope christmas was not too bad, I know it is really hard but try and enjoy the new additions as they arrive. My brother is 4 years younger than me and never had a girlfriend then 6 years ago he was courting, she was pregnant and now I have 2 fab nephews who are 5 and 2.I have been trying for 7 years been married for 10 and 1/2 very difficult, think I am going to be the ***** from hell for the rest of my life!!!! God help DH"!! Thinking of you, take care Love LC

Eve_ · Post by **Eve_** » Thu Dec 26, 2002 12:04 pm

Hayley! I think I know just how you feel. My sister has a 4 year old little girl and I had my first miscarriage before she had her!!! We did an IVF cycle back in Summer and i got pregnant - so did my sister our due dates were 3 days apart! I went on to have another miscarriage and now she is a healthy 6 months pregnant! Have felt so awful, and upset. She's my sister and i love her but want this so much! Have been dreading her due date! Keep your head high, you obviously have a strong marriage - a lot of couples couldn't go through this. When you have a baby it will be so precious it will be even more special! keep smiling love Eve xxx

hayley · Post by **hayley** » Thu Dec 26, 2002 3:38 pm

hi suzanne, nina , lisa & eve thank you all so much for posting - i have survived the past couple of days ( lots of wine,chocs etc) and im begining to see the light at the end of the tunnel! i felt awful feeling so down about this, so selfish but you guys totally understand and i am so sorry that you are going through this as well. as you say eve, we all seem to be blessed with strong marriages and our babies will want for nothing!!! dh and i have decided to give isci another go (prob feb- think i need to detox first) my family have been great ( they all know our problems) and i felt so guilty for my poor mum who should be so delighted to be a granny but she says she is also heartbroken for us and she has been in tears all xmas. im just about to go to my mums now for boxing day diner with all the family (1st time i'll see my sister since she told me) , but thankfully i feel alot stonger now and hopefully be able to congratulate her properly now! wish me luck!! many thanks and good luck to you all- (remember theres still a few days of christmas magic left!) hayley xo

fiona_lk · Post by **fiona_lk** » Fri Dec 27, 2002 9:48 am

Hi Hayley, God, how awful for you to have to go thro this at Christmas, I really feel for you, just the time when everyone wants the chance to chill out. I'm glad to read you've coped and were coming out the other side and hope that Boxing Day didn't prove too traumatic. I agree with everyone - don't be too hard on yourself and this is the definitely the place to vent feelings which we'd otherwise have to keep to ourselves. I'm back at work for the morning unfortunately! Have had far too many chocs in the last two days so also thinking I'd better give myself a health kick before cycling again which will be around Feb/Mar time, so here's hoping we can be cycle buddies. How about posting that treacle scone recipe before the diet starts and whilst my dh is in the baking mood? Take Care of yourself sweetie. Love Fiona xx

hayley · Post by **hayley** » Fri Dec 27, 2002 2:29 pm

hi fiona hope you had a lovely christmas! yesterday went okay (just) - my sister was really quiet and distant, anytime i asked her how she was she changed the subject of the pregnancy straight away! i know its hard for her as well, but i want to be part of her experience and help her all i can ( if she'll let me) really, really need to detox at this stage as i've kept chilean vineyards in business over the past few weeks and im sure ive 1/2 stone on- makes things easier at the time!! i've got a wee recipe for you (you need a griddle or frying pan would prob do!) 2lbs plain flour 4oz soft marg 6oz caster sugar 2tbl spoons treacle 1/2 pint buttermilk mix and cut into triangles and griddle each side untill golden!! yummy let me know how they turn out! ps- would love to have you as a cycle buddie, you have given support to so many people on here and you deserve all the luck in the world. bye for now hayley

fiona_lk · Post by **fiona_lk** » Mon Dec 30, 2002 9:36 am

Cheers for that Hayley - hoping I can pursuade dh to make them for New Year's Day (as I'm totally un-domesticated and can ruin even packet stuff

.

Bex · Post by **Bex** » Mon Dec 30, 2002 1:01 pm

Just reading everyones comments - it's so nice to know i'm not the only person to feel this way. After 6 clomid cycles and a failed IVF attempt with my ex husband, we split up - he was only doing the treatment for me ! ! Less than 18 months after us splitting up, his girlfriend now has a baby boy and my DH ex wife has a baby girl. I did feel really upset for a while but i think fate has a lot to do with everything. I really feel that this year has got tp be the one - i can't explain how good it feels to be with someone that i love so much and is so mutual back ! ! ! Good luck everyone

neroli · Post by **neroli** » Wed Jan 01, 2003 10:41 am

Hi there! My younger sister isn't preggie but all and I mean all my friends are either pregnant or have just had a christmas baby. I'm depressed at hell and I too had to leave the room or cut the phone line when they all told me in turn about their joyful event!! I decided to try ICSI and have been doing the injection and sniffing some digusting stuff (I wish they'd flavour that stuff)! and was firstly told by my doctor that I will go in for a vacumn out of eggs tomorrow!! Unforunately, now he tells me that my dosage was too high and there is a great possibility that I will have to abandon my very first batch or eggs!! Not only that, that I will have to rest for three months too!!! I'm so pissed off at him for obviously spending more time on his party schedule than on my very first attempt of IVF/ICSI!! Being the last of my firends is really painful as everytime I meet them for lunch all they talk about is BABIES!! All my friends do know that I"m starting this treatment and most of them are really good about it, however there are one or two who won't even let me hold their babies!!! (They must think I might run away with it or something and this treatment is really upsetting). So this Christmas of spending at home injecting and in the hope that tomorrow I will have a bash at my 1st ICSI treatment has most likely been trashed!! I feel crap and feel like I've been left out the group and I feel pissed off at my doctor who apparently has a very high success rate over here. So I totally understand you when you say you feel desparate but also happy for your sister. Over here too, it seems there is a baby boom as everywhere we go shopping there are baby and kids things flaunted at us however one good thing I have seen, lots of twins!! It seems that everyone is doing IVF/ICSI over here due to really low sperm count in Asias men due to eating heaps of fish (mercury thing). Let's not mope around with hankies and stress ourselves out even more, let's take action and maybe pray a lot!! I'll cheer up if you do! Neroli

Advertisements