I bought the Gina Ford book yesterday and started putting it into practice today ( no time like the present/ don't put off today etc ...)
Since he was born, eight and a half weeks ago, Thomas has hardly ever slept laying in a crib/ moses or pram so we hold him most of the time. I have also been feeding him on demand as and when he appears to be hungry.
So today came as a bit of a shock for him - poor little man !!
Anyway, I really stuck to all the feeding times as this is something I can control. However, when I put Thomas down at the alloted times he wouldn't sleep. The longest he slept for was 20 minute and the longest I let him cry for before giving in and picking him up was 20 minutes.
My question is - how long is it OK to leave him crying when he wakes up shortly after being laid down ?
Also, could someone tell me exactly what controlled crying is and how I go about doing it.
I really want to get Thomas into a routine but just need to know I'm not letting him cry for too long. Today has been really tough and I've missed having Thomas asleep on me so much I could cry at the moment !! However, I keep telling myself that a routine will be really good for us both so onwards and upwards, as they say !!!
Any advice or stories to share would be very much appreciated
Thanks
Love
Kim
Advice on Gina Ford Method
Hi Kim, well done for getting through most of today. Of course you miss holding him, it's one of the cutest bits at the moment.
Have you had a chance to read the whole thing? she gives lots of examples later on and explains her techniques in tiny detail. On p.95 she mentions controlled crying but only in that one example.
I've never really done controlled crying (also called CIO - Crying It Out) so am no expert but it basically consists of letting them cry until they fall asleep but having a fixed amount of time (5-10mins) after which you go in and let the baby know you're still around eg. he's safe, but not picking him up. Talking quietly and briefly is fine 'it's OK, mummy is just outside, go to sleep now', maybe stroking his face but then leaving again. As I say, I've never really done it as DD just becomes hysterical if left for too long and threw up once which scared me to death. Now that she is older I know that if she's overtired she'll have a meltdown just before bedtime, scream blue murder on the way to bed but be asleep 2mins afterwards. The most we ever let her cry is maybe 10mins. She now begs to be picked up 'up mummy pleeeeeease' but I only hug her, tell I love her and leave again. The people I know who have tried it have done so at early toddler stage when the child has learned cause and effect (takes months and months) and has realised the more they scream the more likely they are to be taken back downstairs. My SIL did it with my 17m DN and she said it took 3 nights of hell, but then, bingo.
hth and good luck. Have a good read and put post-its on the bits/examples that are most applicable to you and Thomas.
hugs
Debra.
Have you had a chance to read the whole thing? she gives lots of examples later on and explains her techniques in tiny detail. On p.95 she mentions controlled crying but only in that one example.
I've never really done controlled crying (also called CIO - Crying It Out) so am no expert but it basically consists of letting them cry until they fall asleep but having a fixed amount of time (5-10mins) after which you go in and let the baby know you're still around eg. he's safe, but not picking him up. Talking quietly and briefly is fine 'it's OK, mummy is just outside, go to sleep now', maybe stroking his face but then leaving again. As I say, I've never really done it as DD just becomes hysterical if left for too long and threw up once which scared me to death. Now that she is older I know that if she's overtired she'll have a meltdown just before bedtime, scream blue murder on the way to bed but be asleep 2mins afterwards. The most we ever let her cry is maybe 10mins. She now begs to be picked up 'up mummy pleeeeeease' but I only hug her, tell I love her and leave again. The people I know who have tried it have done so at early toddler stage when the child has learned cause and effect (takes months and months) and has realised the more they scream the more likely they are to be taken back downstairs. My SIL did it with my 17m DN and she said it took 3 nights of hell, but then, bingo.
hth and good luck. Have a good read and put post-its on the bits/examples that are most applicable to you and Thomas.
hugs
Debra.
Me: 44, DH: 31
Game Over.
Dates: Aug 02 - May 06
Tries: 5 fresh + 4 frozen.
Results: 1 daughter, 2 m/c, 1 ectopic.
Game Over.
Dates: Aug 02 - May 06
Tries: 5 fresh + 4 frozen.
Results: 1 daughter, 2 m/c, 1 ectopic.
Debra
Thanks for the advice. I've just let Thomas cry for half an hour and am close to tears. DH is now upstairs trying to settle him back down. He just doesn't want to sleep as much as he should during the day.
Last night he slept in his crib waking at 9.45pm, 1.30am, 4.40am and 6am.
He should have been awake at 10pm, 5am and 7am ideally, but as he slept in his crib in between feeds I was quite pleased with this first attempt.
However, these first couple of days are proving really tough, he seemed so much happier before. I don't know what to do to get him to sleep at the right time and it's even harder to keep him awake at the right times !!
At least DH is here for support today, although I'm so stressed I can hardly talk to him in case I burst into tears, so things are a bit fraught between us as well, which doesn't help.
This is only day 2 and I'm already wondering how long I can keep this up for ( it seems like the longest 2 days ever - and we're only half way through today !! )
Sorry to run on but this is proving to be harder than I thought so it helps to let off steam ( DH back at work tomorrow so no time to moan then !! )
Love
Kim
Thanks for the advice. I've just let Thomas cry for half an hour and am close to tears. DH is now upstairs trying to settle him back down. He just doesn't want to sleep as much as he should during the day.
Last night he slept in his crib waking at 9.45pm, 1.30am, 4.40am and 6am.
He should have been awake at 10pm, 5am and 7am ideally, but as he slept in his crib in between feeds I was quite pleased with this first attempt.
However, these first couple of days are proving really tough, he seemed so much happier before. I don't know what to do to get him to sleep at the right time and it's even harder to keep him awake at the right times !!
At least DH is here for support today, although I'm so stressed I can hardly talk to him in case I burst into tears, so things are a bit fraught between us as well, which doesn't help.
This is only day 2 and I'm already wondering how long I can keep this up for ( it seems like the longest 2 days ever - and we're only half way through today !! )
Sorry to run on but this is proving to be harder than I thought so it helps to let off steam ( DH back at work tomorrow so no time to moan then !! )
Love
Kim
Hi Kim
I don't want to put you off but I tried the Gina Ford routine and didn't get on with it at all my midwife told me it was far to rigid and my baby was an individual not a robot!!! Anyway, I read the Baby Whisperer and found that fantastic Josh has slept through the night from around 12wks and settles really well on his own.
I certainly wouldn't knock the Gina Ford book as know of several people that have used it sucessfully but think it depends on how strong willed you and your little one are!!
Good luck
Dawn
I don't want to put you off but I tried the Gina Ford routine and didn't get on with it at all my midwife told me it was far to rigid and my baby was an individual not a robot!!! Anyway, I read the Baby Whisperer and found that fantastic Josh has slept through the night from around 12wks and settles really well on his own.
I certainly wouldn't knock the Gina Ford book as know of several people that have used it sucessfully but think it depends on how strong willed you and your little one are!!
Good luck
Dawn
There's certainly very strong feelings about the Ford methods. My pregnancy class teacher HATED the very name being mentioned in the class. We whispered about it in the break instead.
I've read the Baby Whisperer too and know people who liked it. She's certainly less rigid than Gina Ford.
Whatever works for you and the baby is the bottom line...
Good luck
Debra.
I've read the Baby Whisperer too and know people who liked it. She's certainly less rigid than Gina Ford.
Whatever works for you and the baby is the bottom line...
Good luck
Debra.
Me: 44, DH: 31
Game Over.
Dates: Aug 02 - May 06
Tries: 5 fresh + 4 frozen.
Results: 1 daughter, 2 m/c, 1 ectopic.
Game Over.
Dates: Aug 02 - May 06
Tries: 5 fresh + 4 frozen.
Results: 1 daughter, 2 m/c, 1 ectopic.
Dear Debra & Dawn
After yesterday I decided to take a slightly more relaxed approach ( me getting so stressed was not doing me or Thomas any good. )
So I'm sticking to all her feeding times but rather than force Thomas to stay awake when he's sleepy and sleep when he wants to be awake I'm going to let him sleep when he needs to as long as it's no longer than 3 and a half hours in total or too late in the afternoon.
He'll still have his bath at 5.45pm and be put to bed around 7pm.
So today I went out !! Thomas has slept for about 1 and a half hours in total ( more than the last couple of days ) and was much more alert when he was awake so we were able to have some quality play time which was really fun.
I'm really glad I got the book though, because it has taught me alot about me and Thomas and what does and doesn't work for us.
However, I might pay the price tonight if he doesn't sleep well and if that happens I'll have to try something else. It's all trial and error at the moment but I'm going to do my best to be more relaxed about things now, being a bit of an organiser and control freak in the past this whole other person with a strong will and mind of his own is a bit of a shock to the system ( I was used to getting my own way 90% of the time before Thomas arrived !! )
Thanks for your support it's really helped
Love
Kim
After yesterday I decided to take a slightly more relaxed approach ( me getting so stressed was not doing me or Thomas any good. )
So I'm sticking to all her feeding times but rather than force Thomas to stay awake when he's sleepy and sleep when he wants to be awake I'm going to let him sleep when he needs to as long as it's no longer than 3 and a half hours in total or too late in the afternoon.
He'll still have his bath at 5.45pm and be put to bed around 7pm.
So today I went out !! Thomas has slept for about 1 and a half hours in total ( more than the last couple of days ) and was much more alert when he was awake so we were able to have some quality play time which was really fun.
I'm really glad I got the book though, because it has taught me alot about me and Thomas and what does and doesn't work for us.
However, I might pay the price tonight if he doesn't sleep well and if that happens I'll have to try something else. It's all trial and error at the moment but I'm going to do my best to be more relaxed about things now, being a bit of an organiser and control freak in the past this whole other person with a strong will and mind of his own is a bit of a shock to the system ( I was used to getting my own way 90% of the time before Thomas arrived !! )
Thanks for your support it's really helped
Love
Kim
gina ford
hi, i know this string was posted a while ago, but I just had to say something about Gina and her methods.
I am a complete gina fan - both my 2yr 9mth old and 4 mth old (both ivf babies) are 'contented babies'.
Ginas books get a huge amount of stick - mostly by people who have never read the books.
My advice is to read the book all the way through and also go on the contented baby web site. What the book comes down to is a sleeping and feeding routine that is based on a huge amount of research - not only by gina, loads of up to date current world health organisation recommendations, sound nutritional advice and a lot of common sense which we should all know goes out the window after a pregnancy and with all those hormones swimming around. It is not set in stone and it is not rigid and inflexible. Admittedly if you just have a flick through the book it may seem that way - but if you read all the case historys you'll see that gina knows full well that all babies are different and a lot of give and take is required with regards to sleep times etc.
Kim - I was a lot like you with my first baby - stressing out about the times etc. The guides are just that - guides and something to work towards as once the baby does follow them, your life will be a dream compared to other 'on demand' mothers. You are doing just the right thing by being more relaxed and just trying to stick to the overall amount of time Thomas sleeps, but do try and keep his big sleep in the middle of the day as this falls when his natural sleepy cycle falls. I didn't see how old Thomas is - depending on his age - controlled crying is generally for older babies, but only as a last resort and only when all other possibilities have been ruled out. We do let our 4 mth old cry, but after 10 mins, we go in to check on him. If hes absolutely hysterical, we will pick him up and if need be feed him (as per ginas advice) but often he settles himself in 5 mins or so - which is what you are aiming to achieve. Anyway - i could go on forever and you may not even see this msg as it was so long ago you wrote the message - but go on the web site - its worth a look. There are literally thousands of happy contented gina babies out there and everyone is loved and cared for as much as any other baby.
love wendy, chris, benjamin and thomas xxx
I am a complete gina fan - both my 2yr 9mth old and 4 mth old (both ivf babies) are 'contented babies'.
Ginas books get a huge amount of stick - mostly by people who have never read the books.
My advice is to read the book all the way through and also go on the contented baby web site. What the book comes down to is a sleeping and feeding routine that is based on a huge amount of research - not only by gina, loads of up to date current world health organisation recommendations, sound nutritional advice and a lot of common sense which we should all know goes out the window after a pregnancy and with all those hormones swimming around. It is not set in stone and it is not rigid and inflexible. Admittedly if you just have a flick through the book it may seem that way - but if you read all the case historys you'll see that gina knows full well that all babies are different and a lot of give and take is required with regards to sleep times etc.
Kim - I was a lot like you with my first baby - stressing out about the times etc. The guides are just that - guides and something to work towards as once the baby does follow them, your life will be a dream compared to other 'on demand' mothers. You are doing just the right thing by being more relaxed and just trying to stick to the overall amount of time Thomas sleeps, but do try and keep his big sleep in the middle of the day as this falls when his natural sleepy cycle falls. I didn't see how old Thomas is - depending on his age - controlled crying is generally for older babies, but only as a last resort and only when all other possibilities have been ruled out. We do let our 4 mth old cry, but after 10 mins, we go in to check on him. If hes absolutely hysterical, we will pick him up and if need be feed him (as per ginas advice) but often he settles himself in 5 mins or so - which is what you are aiming to achieve. Anyway - i could go on forever and you may not even see this msg as it was so long ago you wrote the message - but go on the web site - its worth a look. There are literally thousands of happy contented gina babies out there and everyone is loved and cared for as much as any other baby.
love wendy, chris, benjamin and thomas xxx
2nd icsi, Benjamin born March '03, 5th icsi, Thomas born Aug '05
Wendy
It's strange because about two weeks ago I picked the book up again. Thomas was five and a half months old and I had started weaning him using the Gina Ford weaning book for guidance.
After only a couple of days spent trying to follow her routine he slept through the night for the first time ever ( and he was in his cot in his own room !! ) I was over the moon !!
Unfortunately, a couple of days ago he caught an awful cold and is so blocked up he's having a bit of trouble feeding and sleeping. Plus his first tooth just came through so things have gone a bit down hill again.
Never mind !! I will continue to use her books for guidance because when you do get it right for your baby it really does work !!!
Thanks
Kim
It's strange because about two weeks ago I picked the book up again. Thomas was five and a half months old and I had started weaning him using the Gina Ford weaning book for guidance.
After only a couple of days spent trying to follow her routine he slept through the night for the first time ever ( and he was in his cot in his own room !! ) I was over the moon !!
Unfortunately, a couple of days ago he caught an awful cold and is so blocked up he's having a bit of trouble feeding and sleeping. Plus his first tooth just came through so things have gone a bit down hill again.
Never mind !! I will continue to use her books for guidance because when you do get it right for your baby it really does work !!!
Thanks
Kim
colds and stuff
hi, I'm glad you got the weaning book too - I found it invaluable and followed it to the letter. My eldest, Benjamin is nearly 3 and he is a fantastic eater, I put it all down to the book ! my youngest, Thomas is nearly 4 mths and I'm following ginas routines again. Theres always something - a cold, a tooth, a growth spurt, an illness - but overall I know after going through it all with Benjamin, that in the long run the routine is fantastic. Children thrive on routine - they love the security of it and it just makes your life so much easier - you know when they'll be tired or hungry etc. Thomas has been harder to get into it the Ben, but hes definately getting there and when we sit down with a glass of wine at 7pm every evening and both children are fast asleep in bed we know its the best thing (especialy when I speak to friends who havn't followed the routine and still have screaming children running riot around the house at 9 and 10 pm !!!)
love wendy xxx
love wendy xxx
2nd icsi, Benjamin born March '03, 5th icsi, Thomas born Aug '05