Is IVF worth all the heartache

judith bagley · Post by **judith bagley** » Sat Jan 04, 2003 2:52 pm

I am currently attending Barnsley college hoping to persue a career in nursing. I have to write a 7,000 word dissertation and my chosen subject is IVF and is it worth it? If anyone could give me any help, personal stories etc, I would be most grateful. No names would be used of course. Thanyou in anticipation Judith Bagley

Loonpants · Post by **Loonpants** » Sat Jan 04, 2003 3:37 pm

Judith I think you will find that 99% of the women on here believe IVF is worth it otherwise they would not be on this board. IVF is worth it if they get the one thing they all desire that is not to say that it can be a very emotional and physically exhausting rollercoaster ride and there are times when we all feel we can't go on. There have been various people posting on here trying to get the inside story for essays, media etc and usually they get treated to a bit of a tongue lashing as most of the women on here feel that it is insensitive to 'dig around' when you have no idea what it is they are going through. I wish you the best of luck in your quest. Lisa(Loonpants)

Lucy · Post by **Lucy** » Sat Jan 04, 2003 4:02 pm

I applaud you in your pursuit of a nursing career, what is the title of the course you are writing the dissertation for? With regards to your question is IVF worth all the heartache? Well for many of us the matter of worth does not come into it. Are you asking if it is worth all the emotional turmoil, heartache, indignity and physical pain? Or are you perhaps asking is it worth the heartache of spending thousands of pounds on a treatment that has a 20%(Approx) chance of sucess?, as it is our one and only chance of having a child of our own? As women we believe it is our right to have a child of our own it’s an inbuilt feeling in most women, and when you are denied this, you go to extraordinary lengths to achieve your goal. Of course I feel that IVF is worth it. You have come onto a site that is predominantly about women undergoing IVF treatment we would not be here if we didn’t believe that IVF was going to help us. Ultimately not all of us undergoing IVF will achieve our goal but at least we have tried, and by doing so, hope to achieve some peace and acceptance of never having a child of our own so we can move on with our lives without the What If ? Question ratterling round in our heads. Perhaps you should go on to the other part of the site where people post messages who have become pregant and given birth due to IVF treatment and ask them if it's worth it! I'll save you a click of your mouse YES IT IS WORTH IT. Lucy

woppa · Post by **woppa** » Sat Jan 04, 2003 5:44 pm

Is it worth it??--well what a title for an essay!! Obviously whoever set this topic has got absolutly no idea about the rollercoaster of IVF. Unless they think we just love waiting for that time of the month to see if our period comes and maybe this month will be the month that we see 2 little blue lines. After going through 2 years of tests and then being giving the tiniest glimmer of hope through IVF that one day we will get our dream family then yes it is worth it. Otherwise we wouldnt go through injecting drugs through our bodies every day , sniffing them up our noses, scans where you lose all dignity when a probe the size of Blackpool tower is inserted up your girly and all and sundry is invited in to see parts of your body you only imagined ! Is it worth it when a needle is inserted and then your ovaries vacummed out to get even one egg because that is the only chance you may get. Is it worth it when your darling husband/partner has to stand in a queue and go into a room to masturbate and then deliver it to a desk full of woman for it to be injected into your eggs. Then waiting about for 2 weeks in agony not only physically but mentally waiting for that day to test or like me doing 14 tests because i couldn't wait that long! I'm sorry if this sounds so angry but to the thousands of people who go through this for years on end the torture and pain is nothing compared to our hopes and dreams Is it worth it to go through all this because there is the teeniest glimmer that maybe this month it is our turn. Well I would say yes!!! [Edited by woppa on 04-Jan-03 17:45]

mands · Post by **mands** » Sat Jan 04, 2003 9:29 pm

Hi Judith It doesn't seem to me that you picked a very challenging title, if not a little insensitive for your dissertation. Asking a yes or no question is overly simplistic. Also and I'm sorry if this sounds rude but you seem a tad lazy, all the stories and information you have asked for is spread through this forum, get reading!

Louise · Post by **Louise** » Sat Jan 04, 2003 10:15 pm

Hi Judith I think the girls have put it very well. What Woppa has sais is what is what all of us on this site have to go through and we would certainly not put ourselves through such indignities if we did not think it was worth it. We have all been trying for years to have a baby undergoing numerous invasive tests causing considerable strain emotionally, being prodded and poked by strangers and told to come back in 3 months, having to sit in the same waiting room with pregnant women waiting for scans. In the meantime, each month, you wait in case, by some miracle, you are late for your period and you find you are pregnant naturally to be told at the end of investigations that your only chance of having a baby is by IVF, the process which is explained excellently by Woppa. Yes it is most definately worth it. We have had to remortgage our house to be able to afford this treatment and have to worry that if it doesn't work in the number of times we set money aside for, what we would do and if I did not think it was worth it, I would certainly not have done it. My advice to you would be to change the title of your essay. [Edited by Louise on 04-Jan-03 22:22]

scorry · Post by **scorry** » Sun Jan 05, 2003 5:50 pm

Hi Judith, Quite simply, if you haven't had to go through IVF, how on earth can you possibly expect to write on this topic? and answer your question? Which I think is far too broad-spectrum for an essay anyway. Certainly you may find, if you choose an aspect of fertility treatment and use statistics and reasearch to back this up, ie: narrow down the title, you may have more success! best of luck from a nurse & midwife, who has been on both sides!!!!!!! Scorry.

Wicked Lady · Post by **Wicked Lady** » Tue Jan 07, 2003 11:50 am

Judith I couldn't possibly answer this question as we will never get the chance, we can't afford the £3,500 fee. Perhaps you could study the postcode lottery and find out why some of us have to pay while others get it free or for alot less all because of the borough we live in. Thanks, let us know how you get on.

Eve_ · Post by **Eve_** » Tue Jan 07, 2003 2:39 pm

Judith, As a senior A&E clinical practitioner who is used to conducting and applying research my advice would be to you to contact your nearest large IVF clinic, this would probably be St james, Leeds. they would be able to provide you advice and statistics. They may also be able to find couples who will consent and speak to you. This, i would suggest would be the most accurate and ethical way to pursue any qualitative research. I do wish you luck, however launching a general enquiry such as "is it worth it" on a site like this, a find personally offensive and has previously stated a rather lazy approach to the task. Eve

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