Back in the land of the living

Sarah30 · Post by **Sarah30** » Sun Jan 05, 2003 6:07 pm

Hello All Thank you all so much for your replies to my post about our terribly sad news. We're both feeling better about things today and DH has been great, so supportive and loving even though he's hurting so badly himself - what would I do without him - we're so lucky to have each other. I'm waiting to speak to the clinic tomorrow, as I have no idea what's going on, neither of us heard what the consultant said apart from that our baby had died. Can anyone else help?? How long do you have to wait for natural evacuation?? Should I go back to work (I feel as though I could, as long as no-one asks me about things, which I could ask my boss to sort out), but I'm not sure from a medical point of view - any ideas? What's a miscarriage like?? Please please someone tell me that you don't actually see the fetus - mine measured 21.9mm before it died Any other information or advise about hope to deal with this would be appreciated. Thanks to you all for your support and kindness. Love Sarah PS - will be back on the IVF trail again soon, I think we're going to try and jump straight back in with FET as soon as we are allowed to. Good idea or not???

tshepher · Post by **tshepher** » Mon Jan 06, 2003 8:27 am

Sarah Have just posted under your other thread but just wanted to reiterate how sorry I am that this should happen to you. I went through that same thing this time last year, slightly earlier than you though at 9 weeks. All I can recommend is go for the evacuation as soon as possible. If you have any kind of private health-care through work then use it as it should be covered as there's always a danger that on the NHS they stick you on a meternity ward - GROSS Insensitivity but it's happened to two of my friends!! As for the procedure, they gave me a general anaesthetic and you see or feel nothing physically, obviously emotionally is a different story but at least you are in control rather than waiting for nature to take it's course. As for going back to work, don't push yourself too hard. You need to take time to grieve properly. Don't underestimate the strength of feeling that will well-up if someone does try to talk to you. After my first MC I went back to work too soon, tried to brave it out but all that happened was that it delayed the shock and grief process and I ended up taking a month off work two months after the event. Whatever you decide to do I really really pray that it goes as smoothly as possible for you. We are all thinking of you Terri xxxx

pru · Post by **pru** » Wed Jan 08, 2003 12:04 pm

Sorry to hear your news Sarah30. I have not logged on for awhile so didn't know. You seem to be handling it pretty well, however don't go back to work if you don't have to. You need time to gather your thoughts and grieve without the stress of work. Take care and sorry again

RLV · Post by **RLV** » Wed Jan 08, 2003 8:14 pm

Hi Sarah I also found out my baby had died in womb 4 months ago at 11 weeks. I was given a choice to either take some drugs to help m/c along, do nothing and wait for a natural m/c or go into hosp for an evacuation under general anaesthetic. They said if you wait and have a natural m/c you still need a scan to make sure everything has come away and may then still need an evacuation. So I chose to go into hosp next day and had an evac. It was definately best although the day was horrible emotionally - also I could start to get over it once it had actually gone. Hope this info helps & hope you're bearing up. Luv Rachel X

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Wed Jan 08, 2003 11:22 pm

Dear Sarah Just wanted to say sorry- I posted a reply on your first message as had not logged on for a week and as soon as I saw your sad news I wanted to reply. Hope I didn't upset you by bringing it to the top again. I feel awful now. Glad you & dh are feeling a wee bit better.Aren't we lucky to have such loving hubbys.I agree with Terri & don't go back to work too soon.Only my boss knew when mine happened but by the time I went back the whole place seemed to know but not many mentioned it. Am thinking of you Love Dawnx

caroline · Post by **caroline** » Thu Jan 09, 2003 5:10 pm

Sarah I don't know if you'll remember me, but I went through the cycle with you in October/November and we chatted a few times. I've not logged on much since then, but logged on today to see how people were getting on. I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. You both must be devastated. I was so happy that one of us had a success story back in November, but this is just so unfair. Sometimes life can be sh*t. Lots of love Caroline x